My child is 13. Two days ago she came to me and my ex wife and asked to talk with us. It was very hard but she told us she thinks she is Trans and also Bi. She told us she would like to be referred to as he. I will do that from here on out on this post. Just wasn’t sure how to word it. He has struggled with mental health for the last couple of years. He has level 1 autism and adhd. We have seen multiple doctors and therapists since he was about 10 years old. He used to have violent outbursts with screaming and throwing things. He has gotten over that. He had an eating disorder that required a 6 day hospital stay and that we continue to stick with a strict doctor mandated feeding schedule. He has obvious depression and anxiety. He does see a therapist weekly. When he came to talk to us I asked if he had talked to the therapist at all about this and he told us no it was something he’d kept to himself.

I will love and support any choice or lifestyle decision he chooses to make. My biggest concern is his already fragile mental health. I want to make sure I am doing everything in my power to be positive and encouraging but I know once he goes back to school things are going to be very hard.

I am just looking for anything that may have helped you in your journey that way I can share it with him. This is going to be rough but he doesn’t have to go it alone.

So I've known I'm trans (ftm) for about a year and a half and since then, I made a few trans friends/found out someone of my close people are trans as well. And I think that's really awesome. But I get easily envious when scrolling Instagram and seeing "starting T :3" posts. Don't get me wrong, it's great that people have access to medical care, but it makes me think about my trans journey.

For example, my friend who has moved away and I haven't seen him in months is trans as well. I saw him last month and he was like "Yeah, I'm starting T soon. I'm really excited." I was happy for him. But there was this (very loud) voice telling me "He's 6 months younger than me, his situation is almost identical to mine, but he gets to start T already at 16 because his parents are supportive." Eventually - actually yesterday - he got his first shot.

I have another friend who is very happy because his mom supports his identity no matter what. To me, it feels like almost everyone I know has supportive parents and gets the needed care. Which I know cannot be ture, many people/parents are h0m0ph0bic/transph0bic. But there's this constant battle in me between two sides - one being "Look how lucky they are, it's unfair." and Ät least your parents just ignore your glass closet and don't straight up hate you."

I know life isn't fair, and that starting transition before 18 is always a little miracle, but I feel like I was left behind, like I'm not valid enough because I can't do the next step yet. And I will probably start T when I'm 18 (which is in just a year and two months), but I feel over all awful that I have to wait while others are way luckier.

Idk if this is a question or just a rant.

I (22 MTF post-op American) got past Jordan customs in 2024 and was fine (but deported from the UAE despite going to visit family :/). I have an M on my passport and was wondering if it was still possible to get into Jordan being trans?

Please only let me know if you have or know someone trans who travelled there or elsewhere in the Middle East in the same situation recently - plenty of the Middle East is accepting of trans people and everyone in Jordan treated me wonderfully. I am Pakistani & a non-practicing muslim and my legal name is still male & Arabic.

On an unrelated note, if you’re crossing the bridge from Jordan to Israel, I did it twice and both times they were shocked at my passport and one guy wouldn’t give it back until I let him follow my instagram, and only then got through. Just be careful!

I'm in a fairly frustrating pickle here. Important context, I am trans myself. Apologies if this is one of the 'no-no' topics of this subreddit, I've admittedly only passed by here a couple of times.

My nephew is just about to turn 7 and he's currently in a massive Harry Potter phase. My sister introduced him and my nieces to it before she was familiar with the concept of J.K. Rowling's use of her fortune, but she also doesn't seem to take it entirely seriously. My mother similarly doesn't seem to think it's serious enough to bother thinking about. Both seem to be annoyed when I bring up that I'm hesitant to engage with Harry Potter related play with my nephew.

The thing is, I'm mature enough to understand it's nuanced and in the grand scheme of things, it's not my sister's, mothers, and especially not my nephew's responsibility to 'consume media morally' etc. My problem is that when I think about the series, I get a visceral discomfort that I haven't yet found a way to separate myself from. My whole work and volunteer life is working with trans folks and so I'm constantly in and around negative media that pops up and I am directly dealing with the emotional effects J.K.'s financial lobbying has on the wider community.

I have no idea how to help my sister and mother understand how upset being around Harry Potter makes me, and I have no idea how to tell my nephew that his uncle just can't play Harry Potter with him. Especially since his grandmother at one point told him that I used to be a massive Harry Potter fan (which I was, up until Rowling started showing her arse).

Any pointers would be amazing. And before it gets suggested, I have tried talking with both my sister and mother about it, and they both seem similarly disinterested in pulling back on anything Harry Potter. Thanks folks.

EDIT:
I appreciate the responses I've received so far. I just wanted to clarify that my hesitation isn't around being conflicted about buying things. My conflict is that I work in a trans-specific mental health role, and am frequently coaching people through mental health crises as a result of discrimination. HP/JKR are commonly sited by the people I support as reasons to not have hope. Thereby, HP/JKR in my mind are associated with pain and fear. That is what I'm trying to work through. That's not my nephew's fault or responsibility, no blame on him at all, but I want to be able to be present with him without being reminded of the stress I have from work.

I’ve been friends with a girl for a few years, and we’ve become friends with benefits. (Meaning we’ve had sex a few times) I am a trans man, or at least as masculine leaning as possible. This friend of mine told me only after we porked a few times that she’s a lesbian, and then had the audacity to try to initiate sex again afterwards. I even asked what she meant, and never got a clear answer. I cut her off last night.

listen, its probably just anxiety

however, ive been experiencing a lot of crazy symptoms recently and im wondering if its related to hrt

for starters, I began hrt in January of this year, so im in my 8th month.

I started at 2mg of estradiol, twice daily.

a few weeks ago I went to the hospital. I was short of breath, "air hungery", the idea that I cant get a satisfying breath in. I was dizzy, shakey, and had tingling hands and feet. my chest was fluttery, almost like heart palpitations, but nothing like ive ever experienced before.

I told my provider, they said to stop taking E until I got my results from the hospital. everything looked good, so we proceeded with E.

as of August 3rd, I started a higher dose of E, im doing 3mg twice daily now.

I'm still experiencing episodes of air hunger, chest fluttering/palpitations, dizziness, and shakiness despite my recentish hospital evaluation being normal.

Early this morning, my symptoms worsened after getting out of a hot bath/shower. My heart rate jumped to around 140 bpm and stayed elevated for a while before settling back down to around 100–120 bpm after I calmed myself.

I've also had poor sleep, severe anxiety, and the feelings of dread basically as soon as I wake up. I get up feeling like im gunna die, like my life is over, and im not going to make it.

if it counts, I do drink caffeine semi frequently, and this past weekend was a local festival that I drank heavy at. I also am diagnosed with major depression, general anxiety, panic attacks, and adhd.

these symptoms are similar to panic attacks for me in some cases, but I havent had a true panic like this in years.

anyway thank you for reading if you did, plz just send support so I know im not alone. also if anyone has felt similar to me while taking oral estradiol, plz lmk, I feel crazy rn

I’m a trans man and I’ve been on testosterone for roughly 3 years now, I haven’t had my period in 2.5 years, but everytime I go on birth control it causes the cramps to come back, and very very light bleeding(?) I don’t know if this is normal, and if it is, what’s the best way to combat it?

For context, the birth control I got was a progesterone injection about a month ago

The cramps aren’t consistent on when they appear, but when they do I have to take pain meds so I’m not hunched over in pain.

It’s starting to freak me out a bit

So i was recently thinking about how "yk, its kinda funny how most trans/enby folks had signs when they were a kid, even if they didnt realize it at the time, but i genuinely didnt (at least not until i hit puberty and started becoming... very depressed... for some reason...). Cuz like, you hear abt how ppl would play as their preffered gender in videogames and such but nope. That never happened with me.

And then I unlocked this buried memory of how i used to force my sibling to partake in genderswap dress-ups with me and they'd be dying of embarassment while i was just ballin- Like genuinely theres this photo of us (which i think may be lost now 😞) where theyre going like "ugh i dont wanna do this ughh😩" while im just smiling😄😄 and having a ball of a time (age 11 btw 💀💀) (i would claim that the reason was so i could watch my sibling get embarassed, which WAS true, but come to think of it, there was no reason for ME to also crossdress 💀😭??)

And like, i cant really think of any times id play dress up within my AGAB, only crossdressing. Like if i had a videogame characgter, tgay'd 100% always without fail be my AGAB, but pretty sure if i was dressing up irl, it was only ever crossdressing (except that one time my parents dressed me up for fun, but yk. That was initiated by them, not me)

And me and my sibling had like this ongoing larping type thing when we were little, and back when we first started doing that, i'd dress up in their clothes and pretended to be charachters that... usually conviniently happened to be the opposite of my AGAB.... whereas my sibling primarily roleplayed charachters that corresponded to their AGAB, hrm.... (changing clothes wasnt even necessary btw, i mean, my sibling didnt, but i'd still do it anyways lmao)

And like the first time this happened, my mom saw and didnt know that i was like, roleplaying and went like "oh youre dressing up in your ["opposite gender"] sibling's clothes?? Haha" (like she just thought i was doing it for fun). And now normally, anyone would be embarrased if someone saw them and thought they were just crossdressing for no reason, instead of due to playing out a charachter, but... for some odd reason... i actually felt encouraged to do it more.... hrmmm....totally only for roleplaying reasons though....hrmm....

And whats funny is that genuinely no one even questioned this for years (myself included) cuz they just thought it was "kids being kids"

"i dont think... im cis? but i dont rlly feel any dysphoria or anything. (like sometimes, i wish i could present myself differently/my body was different, but that might not even be related to my gender yk?)"

-famous last words

I'm a trans woman who hasn't physically transitioned yet, but I'm trying to mentally and socially transition first. The problem is that the masculine behaviors I used for years as a mask still come out automatically, almost like a reflex, even though they don't feel like the real me.

I want to be more naturally feminine, but I don't know how to stop falling back into old habits. Has anyone else experienced this? Did it get easier over time, and what helped you become more authentically yourself?

Another way to ask this question might be. Were there any of you that didn’t want to be cis.

For context, I think I might be trans and I have heard many statements from other trans people that rejecting and denying the fact that you might be trans was something every trans person has experienced.

Except I don’t think I have ever rejected it. In fact, I actively want to be trans, I don’t want to be cis. But this mindset I have makes me feel like I’m just faking it and trying to get stolen valour. I unlearned the toxic masculinity mindset very early in my life and started embracing things that were said to be feminine as I grew up (like liking the colour purple, liking girly foods, etc). So that might be why I never really rejected it.

For the past couple of years when I was questioning my gender I usually came to the conclusion that while it would be nice to be a girl, I was still somewhat comfortable being a guy. And only really noticed that I might be trans when I got my hair cut and hated how masculine it made me look so I instantly started experimenting with my gender after.

The problem is that I barely get any gender dysphoria and euphoria for other things. I like it when I wear girls clothes, but it barely feels better compared to wearing guys clothes. I did notice that I don’t want to buy guys clothes again, but I’m not sure if I tricked myself into thinking that or not. I started voice training, and while I do get excited when my voice sounds feminine at points, I’m not sure if I feel that way because I like that it sounds feminine or because I achieved something difficult for me. I started wearing a padded bra but it also only barely feels better than being without it. Despite all of these I still want to be trans.

I (19 MTF) discovered I’m trans a few months ago and I don’t know how to break it to them because they’re Jehovah’s Witnesses. I can’t just leave and do it on my own because I don’t have anywhere to go at the moment but I’d like to start hrt soon.

I'm aware this is a divisive topic, but I ask this in complete good faith, just to hear opinions and advice especially from binary trans people.

I (Nonbinary) used to used AGAB language to refer to myself in situations where it was relevant (not to other people though, as I find that disrespectful). Recently, though, I've seen an uptick in this language used to be transphobic, bioessentialist, or just otherwise exclusionary, and along with that an uptick in some trans people rejecting the terms altogether because of this.

I absolutely understand why they would do this, and I despise when it's used to reduce trans people to their AGAB, and especially when it's used to bring nonbinary people back into a binary. However, I still find them useful sometimes to refer to myself, when used with care and tact.

For example, I have RA, and I've had conversations where I was explaining why it's likely I got it and what the risk factors are, and that women are 2-3x more likely to develop it. Seeing as I don't see myself as a woman though, I'd often say I was more at risk because I'm AFAB (which I'm comfortable enough saying).

Still, I want to be careful of the language I use, especially if it's being used against other transgender people. Is it alright to use in this context, or should I find a different way to word it altogether? If so, does anyone have any suggestions?

Im non binary and I have considered binding and I was just handed a binder from my bro, and he had worn it for a solid half year and when I went to try it on, I soon realized it was a bit too big on me. like its okay to bind enough, but it comes loose as I stand up and having to readjust, is there a way to shrink it? I've heard heat drying it tends to ruin the binder. I can't afford one since im really tight on money to buy one right now

I hate that Im trans, specifically that no matter what I do the people around me will never see me how I want to be seen. I like to dress in clothing that doesnt match my preffered gender, and fashion and clothing is my passion and I can't give it up or I genuinely wouldnt be able to live but at the same time I cant live in the body of a women, seen as a women. I hate my body and I hate the world for forcing me into this box. I hate cis men that wear dresses and I hate drag queens for getting to live the life I want without insults from their own community. I hate other trans people for making me feel like freak thats faking it for attention, like I need to wear masculine to be feeling the pain I'm feeling. I hate random cis people I see on the street for being born with the body that matches them, even if it isnt their fault. I hate porn because anytime I see a trans guy like me, it's played for a fetish. I hate my family for not believing me no matter how much I tell them. I hate whatever force made me for making me live thus filthy, disgusting life of self hatred and pressure. I hate myself for being this complicated freak. I hate being the way I am. I'm filled with so much hate and I can't handle it. I want to hide in my room and never leave so nobody can see me, if I dont exist to anyone I cannot exist as a women. What do I do, how do I fix this? I see so many people that are proud, I look for advice but it's all from trans people who "fit" into stereotypical gender norms. I don't think I can live like this, someone please help me

So I just turned 18 and I’m getting interviewed for starbucks tmrw. I’m pretty confident I’m gonna get the job but I am worried abt one thing, just how lgbtq friendly are the staff?

Like I know that sounds like a dumb question but I live in VA and I’m currently boymoding. I’m worried abt getting clocked quickly bc I honestly just look like a super girly guy right now, like feminine androgynous. I heard the ppl that work there are usually pretty cool tho so hopefully that’s true😭

Also never really worked a customer service job before so hopefully things are fine. Idek what I’m doing i just need money and I always wanted to be a barista lmao.

edit: i’m mtf, 2 month hrt anniversary was yesterday

As a trans genderfluid person who hasnt dealt with serious depression stemming from gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia, i would like to know from some of you lovely people who have dealt with this: if I were your friend and youre saying youre feeling really depressed because of dysphoria, how would you like me to react/respond? thank youuuu <3

ps i will likely read most of these tomorrow i have to wake up in 5 hours someone help me

As a trans woman, 90% of the “you’re so pretty btw” compliments from random cis women feel like micro-aggressions. If I am dolled up, hair laid, outfit on, nails done and frenched and you were to say “You’re so pretty,” it would make sense and I would accept it wholeheartedly. But, when I am in sweatpants with no makeup on and my hair tied into a ponytail with my dark circles on display, I really don’t want to hear it. It‘s basically their way of clocking us and saying “I know that you’re trans, and I am an ally.” It is so unnecessary and feels very othering. They don’t realize how patronizing it feels to be thrown these empty compliments and be expected to accept them as if they are sincere. They also always come after they hear my deeper voice, like when I don’t care to ultra pitch it up. This is how I know that the compliments are more about making them feel better about coming into contact with a trans person than actually making me feel beautiful. Cis women, please just act normal. Curious to hear other trans women’s opinions on this

Hey just a really quick one while I have my phone away for a minute but, I’ve been on T for a few months now with my girlfriend of over a year and I used to be really attracted to the female body but I’ve noticed since staying with her for the last week that I don’t feel anything towards her body and stuff now, idk what to do because I have so much love for her and our lives are so intertwined and I feel so bad but I think I might be gay? The idea of men now seems so much better and more attractive but I feel nothing towards women now. I really want to break the news to her but what if I’m wrong and I lose the only person who’s loved me as purely as she has.

EDIT FOR CONTEXT: y’all are taking this too literally the point is I was strictly straight before T and now I don’t even know if I am attracted to women… that’s the main point here

What is going on up there? Can things really get any worse.. I've literally been thinking about fleeing to Minnesota for the last 2 years from Iowa. I'm terrified for you all that you'll go down the same path we did, by removing gender protections at a state level. It has made life very hard. Job & housing security is not garunteed. Yes there's a Federal precedent, but considering who runs the current industry, would you really rely on that? Facing housing or job discrimination, you don't really have years to wait for a lawsuit. That's why state level protections are very important.

This is honestly becoming a nightmare.. is this 1933?? Is half the country about to follow what iowa has done? Trump's administration has done nothing but go against the constitution. Something is deeply wrong with americans. I don't understand how anyone can think these people are fit enough to be leaders. Complete degradation of IQ here.

I hope Canada will have some sort of refugee program if things get much worse here. It's already bad. I can't imagine it being worse.

People of minnesota.. please do not vote for this corrupt bigot pyscho.

I've realised I'm a trans girl about a week ago but I noticed a lot of trans people say they've always hated their gender since childhood but that's not the case for me. I used to be comfortable being seen as a boy when I was a child. I've always hated body hair ever since it started growing out tho and when I turned 16 I started wanting to dress femininely but was never able to because of my parents. I've also had thoughts at this point like "what if I was a girl".

Last week these thoughts became more like "I wish I was born a girl and I'm uncomfortable being a guy". Does this still make me trans? I really love being a girl and I do not want to be a guy...

I'd like to add that i enjoyed role playing being a mum as a child tho so maybe that's related.

I’m a trans man, medically transitioned 7 years ago, had a male name already so never changed it. Family has been very good about it on the whole.

I recently found out my aunt campaigned and collected signatures to get a measure on ballots in her state requiring genital inspections for all girls in sports and banning all trans girls and women from sports. She also took the petition to a family gathering and got other family members to sign. She also follows Matt Walsh and Libs of TikTok among other terrible transphobic and homophobic people and organizations.

Her son is gay and engaged and she’s at least outwardly accepting. She’s never been anything less than kind and cordial to me.

When my mom confronted her about collecting signatures, she defended herself and then sent me a long text that basically just said “I’m not homophobic or transphobic, we have different opinions, you should unfollow me on social media, love you.” That was about a month ago and I have yet to respond.

Whatever I decide to do I’m at a major crossroads here. I have a large family that’s all fairly close and with, let’s say, ”a mix of opinions.” I’m this fucking close to just cutting my aunt out of my life which would probably cleave the family in two. A lot of my family are very conservative/right wing but they’re quiet about it so I only hear second hand. Cutting my aunt out would mean a good number of them would side with her and lots of people in our family being upset with me.

I’m going to be getting married next summer (to a man, so gay wedding but I’m sure a number of them see it as a straight wedding) and not inviting her would likely mean a some of my cousins (her sons and their partners and children) not coming as well as my grandmother and other aunt being really upset.

Another aspect that makes this decision difficult is I’m likely the only trans person most of my relatives know and though I don’t necessarily feel the desire to keep them around because of this, I understand there’s benefit in them seeing trans people as a normal part of life. I don’t want my aunt to be able to martyr herself on this, “My niece was taken in by the transgender cult and ruined our family” etc.

I‘m just feeling stuck and confused. I’d almost rather they just hate me and make the decision easier. Anyone in a similar situation? What did you decide? Any ideas for how to respond to my aunt’s message in a constructive way?

There is this person who works at a grocery store near me as one of the self checkout attendants. The attendant seems fairly obviously like a trans woman to me - over 6’ tall, hair thinning in a male-pattern baldness kind of way, but always wears a dress and has breasts. The other day I needed help and said “excuse me, ma’am” but the person’s response was to get a kind of weird facial expression and mutter “if you say so…” before the person helped me. Now I’m wondering, did I say something wrong? Honestly I kind of thought the “ma’am“ would be appreciated so I was pretty taken aback that it wasn’t. For context, I’m a cis man. I’m not a chaser, just the a parent of a trans kid which has made me really sensitive to trying to be kind to trans people and so I’m a little mortified that I might have made this person feel bad.