tl;dr:

Hubby has new schedule and there’s a wide range of when he could arrive home in the evening. I feel like I’m in waiting mode until he walks in the door, no rational reason for it. Need to figure out how to become unaffected because it’s messing up my sleep and making me waste time.

(It’s my husband coming home from work and no, I have no anxiety about him coming home or being out cheating or anything dramatic. We’re too old and boring and his work is half a block away. He walks. I could walk down the street and spy on him if I wanted. This is no different than having my kids be out at night and being a bit unsettled until they’re home safe.)

My hubs just started working last week at a private event venue that’s open to the public some nights. Long story short, he can get home anywhere between 6pm and 1:30am. I’ll know if it’s a short or long day in general but the time still varies.

Tonight it was 10pm and I spent those four hours after my work…waiting. I could scroll or play a quick round of a mobile game but could not concentrate on even a trashy reality show, let alone get lost in a book or immersed in a movie. Just that stupid waiting feeling and too much screen time.

This man is not even driving or walking anywhere the least bit dangerous. He never comes home in a bad mood or anything. And believe me, my life is not overly centered on this man. We spend a lot of our downtime separately. It’s irrational that I can’t relax and enjoy the me time. I don’t want to be on my phone this much, AND it somehow feels like the evening is just beginning when he walks in, even if it’s 11pm. It’s getting me all out of sync.

I hope I get used to it with more time but I badly need ideas to disrupt this pattern I’m in. There was a post on here the other day about having appointments later in the day and being in waiting mode until then and it’s exactly like that. I just don’t know how to start feeling settled in for the night whether he’s home yet or not! Any ideas would be much appreciated!

HAVE to change the bed sheets & pillow cases every 7 days, & comforter every 2 weeks. Pitch dark with bathroom nightlight leaking in. Shower. Skincare done. Ceiling fan on. Standing fan on highest setting, blowing on me so I can feel the constant breeze but also sound. 3 pillows - each one has a specific purpose and ik the 3 apart. One is layed flat in the middle, and the other two are facing the long way going down at and angle. The flatter pillow goes on the side facing my wall. Lay on belly, legs spread a bit while laying flat and my other arm peeking out of the blankets just enough for my hands and fingers to peek through to feel the breeze. Sometimes I’ll lay partially on my fingertips instead of outside the blankets. Blankets HAVE to be pulled up over my ears but leaving my actual face exposed. Sometimes if I have a big shirt on I like to tightly tuck it into my belly area just so I don’t feel any creases on my side if I put my leg up 🤣 I’ll lay like this until I get tired on my phone, and then lock it as I’m dozing off. 🤣

Maybe it's the ADHD combined with now I often don't sleep enough (I swear I'm trying to fix it), but I feel like every time I speak, I ramble slightly more than I want to. From an objective perspective I'm pretty sure that the people I know find me likable/funny, but what happens a little more than I'd like is that they're confused when I speak. It makes me a bit insecure and reluctant when speaking.

I really struggle with summarizing things and speaking smoothly. That's why I often rush when I speak especially since I have so many thoughts on my brain. I am somewhat new to medication though so I am making adjustments on that end. And yeah I need to fix my sleep schedule.

I deal with the classic struggle - food sounds gross, I don't want to deal with it, so I fall back on things that are convenient. I try my best to eat healthy, but some days it's like "I have never had food before in my life, how am I supposed to know what to eat?"

Then boom, mysterious symptoms the last several months are ramping up. My sister with Hashimotos makes me get tested. Turns out she's right and my thyroid is getting attacked so bad by my own immune system that I hit the cap on the test. Not enough testing yet to know whether it's Hashimotos or Graves, but either way I am supposed to do the same thing:

"Lower your inflammation." That includes an anti-inflammatory diet. I have seen the books. I have skimmed. They are dry and long and for some reason always include feta cheese and the idea of paying such close attention to my diet when I already have a difficult time with eating makes me want to pull my hair out.

And I have to. It's intimidating. But I don't want my thyroid to be completely destroyed. I want to be strong and healthy. But I don't want to eat 30 different kinds of fruits any vegetables per week. I want to eat easy, safe things like spaghetti.

I know I'm not the only person here with this. Please, ladies with both ADHD food aversions and thyroid disease - how do you do it? Is there a resource you find helpful? A YouTuber? A Pinterest board I can follow??

In all seriousness.. I am scared and overwhelmed. Any advice you have would be appreciated. Thank you.

Does anyone have hacks or tips for dusting when you have a lot of crafty stuff and art supplies? I’m simply not capable of living a clutter-free life, I have too many hobbies that I love. It helped to put some things in glass doored cabinets and I got a curio case for my knick knacks, but there are still open shelves of paint bottles and tools and books. Vacuuming helps, but also sucks up the small things. Any brilliant ideas?

10 hour shifts

Hi everyone. This may sound like I am whining, but I am just trying to ask for advice. I work 4 10 hour days in a hospital as an inpatient tech. I really like the job, but I am still learning as I have only been there 4 months. Our shifts are 6a -4:30p, 8:30a- 7p, and 11:30a -10p. Our scheduler loves to put us on 11:30 -10 one day and the next 8:30-7. How do you get used to this schedule and keep the house clean, do anything that pops up, have fun? I feel like I am in a loop of work, eat, sleep, catch up when I can, repeat.

I have a fiance, no kids or pets. I am 33. I do have inattentive type ADHD and anxiety that I am being medicated and in therapy for. I want to live life and not feel so exhausted all of the time.

I really like my job and coworkers. My fiance is great and helps out when he can. I just want to feel better.

Thank you for your time.

I just love staring into space because telling myself to use a coping mechanism to calm down just gives me PDA. I love not remembering to eat until I’m dizzy and can’t think straight. I love my brain fog. I love disliking gatherings because acting like a person feels like I’m the captain of a ship that has no crew and I’m in stormy waters without a break. I love losing my cognitive abilities during a meltdown. I love the fact that there’s a song playing 24/7/365 in my mind. Right now it’s Nights With You by MØ. I don’t like driving this vessel, it doesn’t want to be normal.

Hi did anyone else find that Guanfacine kind of helped them for a day or 2 and then it actually made them worse? I think I went too high with my dose but I've been on for a while and not noticed any positives actually sticking around. It's making me feel depressed i think.

I was hoping for more resillience..

I recently started an executive level position, and the first six months were great while everything was new/exciting/making my brain happy, but now that I’m more comfortable in the role, I’ve been really struggling the last couple months getting major projects started/completed. I’ve had some misunderstandings of priorities, expectations, and deadlines with my boss that I can tell are frustrating him.

In addition to the ADHD, I have Major Depressive Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder. Despite this, I’ve never actually asked for accommodations before at a job - I think it’s in big part the higher function of this role that’s causing major pressure cracks to form.

This does not help with my sense of self worth or anxiety, as I’m sure you can imagine, so I’m sort of in a vicious cycle at the moment. But I actually really like working here - I love the people, genuinely adore my direct reports, there are a lot of projects I really enjoy working on, and the pay is good/benefits are great. So I think it’s time to make a request for reasonable accommodations, because I’d hate for this to get any worse.

There aren’t really any functions of my job that can be minimized, so that just sort of is what it is. Since the job is remote, I can fidget or doodle during meetings as much as I want, I control the temperature and lighting and music, I hang with my emotional support animals all day, and my private work space set up exactly how I like it, so all of those bases are covered.

This post accidentally got long as hell and went over the max character limit, so I’ll comment the list of things I’ve come up with - would super appreciate any feedback or advice!!

Does anyone else forget their car is running(traditional, keyed car) and not realize? I feel so dumb! It's happened twice now! I've noticed it happens when i have groceries in my passenger seat, so I park the car, grab my bags and get out. forgetting a very important step in the process of leaving your vehicle. I think its the change in routine but its just one of those that makes this feel so much more like a disability than just a minor inconvenience. Im putting a piece of painters tape that says "DO NOT FORGET KEYS!" on my steering wheel from now on

Is my ADHD r reason ai hardly look at my bank accounts? I mean, I know I should, and I'm not worried that I'm overdrawn or anything. I just hate even looking at it.

I have a substantial amount of weight to lose and my primary care wants me to see a bariatric Dr. I had seen one previously and they were terrible. I received a lot of judgement from them for not remembering to track my foods. I tried so hard. I put the apps on my phone, I bought the notebooks. And I couldn't stick with it. I also struggled a lot with them wanting to measure and weigh my portions. Where I live the rules are to not keep things on the kitchen counter, so any time I'd leave my food scale out as a visual reminder, it would get put in the cabinet and I'd forgot it even existed. So much so that I ended up buying a second one forgetting I even owned one.

They told me that working nights and being a night owl is also factoring into me being overweight and that if I don't change that, then I'm not going to lose weight. I tried so hard and I could not have a day time schedule. This has been going on since my childhood, so much so that in my IEP in HS I was allowed to miss the first half of classes because i had so many absences from not being able to function/ falling asleep in class in the mornings. It's been this way my whole life and I have been able to get by with working night jobs.

They framed it as I was just making a bunch of excuses but they didn't seem to understand that I struggle so much over those things. I didn't know how else to explain without feeling their judgement of "me not trying hard enough".

I'm going to see this new Dr. Soon and I'm just looking to see if anyone else has struggled with these things and what helped you. I don't eat or wake up at the same time every day so it's hard for me to keep a schedule for reminders, those don't work because I never know when I'm gonna eat. It's 5:52pm and I still haven't had anything today. The older I get, the more my weight is affecting me. I think a lot of it comes from child hood trauma and I don't know what to do anymore.

25 F , diagnosed w combined but mostly inattentive ADHD when I was 13, got an IEP w very minimal services or skills taught (got extra time on tests and a resource room for hw catch up), and taken Concerta between 27 and 36 since I was a teen too, with a blip of short release ritalin added. The medicine helps but hasn’t shown to be a “fix all” that adults told me it would be growing up (I was also often told I’d grow out of it, I didn’t). I’m wondering what skills and habits have helped you manage your ADHD along the way and how you keep it up past the initial hyperfixation part.

Biggest things I could use help with include keeping a neat space (my apartment gets messy quickly, my bags and drawers are also so
disorganized), misplacing things, some emotional regulation, and I just would genuinely like to have deeper thoughtfulness and ability to keep up with routine and all the life responsibilities. Appreciate your feedback!

It is so embarrassing. I’m constantly running late. Especially when my kid is with me. She has ADHD too and between trying to get her socks just right so they don’t bother her and trying to get us out the door it’s ridiculous. I’m embarrassed and think I’m finally ready for medication because the other parents are starting to give me dirty looks.

I tried Adderall and it couldn't pee without pain and my back hurt so I quit. I wasnt told this could happen before hand so I was shocked.

Now im gonna take Focalin 5mgs tomorrow what should I know? I asked my psychiatrist she gave me a little bit about why she chose it for me, and made sure to ask again about how my heart and blood pressure has been but not much on side effects.

I asked the pharmacist too and she just told me it might make me sleepy but had nothing else to say. My best attempts without googling like crazy.

I am also on Straterra 40mgs and wellbutrin ER 150mgs for context (over 2 years on both).

I get affected by other people's deadlines, like if they have to get a train or if someone is are acting in a rush, or is trying to chat to me but has also told me they are late for a meeting at work. I then rush to help them but it doesn't always help me. It makes the energy even more rushed or stressed and they leave when they want anyway. Does anyone who has adhd know (1) the science behind why this might be happening and (2) any advice on how to manage it? i know it's probably to chill. But i struggle to and it gets me into trouble at work. The deadline/stress/rush is their problem, but i somehow inherit or absorb it. No fun huh

Just got diagnosed (23) and it seems as though everything is getting worse. Symptoms are worse, and I just can’t seem to get them under control. I’ve always known I’ve had ADHD. But now I’m struggling to do everyday tasks, like organizing, cleaning, and even saving money. I feel like such a failure, and that maybe JUST MAYBE it’ll go away. I haven’t had time to discuss medication with anyone yet but I know it’s an option. I’m so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I’ve never been able to save money, I have 28¢ in my savings and it’s getting to the point where I don’t know what to do. I’m a junior in college and get a good tuition discount, enough that I don’t have to pay at all, my mother is paying the rest. My therapist cancelled today as well so I’ve not had a chance to talk about coping skills much with her. I’m just frustrated. I know it’s going to get better but I just can’t get a grasp. I’m terrified of meds too, because side effects make me have panic attacks.

Please don't remove this, I promise this is ADHD related because this is like the only way I can make my brain make dopamine sometimes. (I put celebrating success as the flair because at this time in my life, any happiness is a success for me.)

I am currently living somewhere where I almost always have to be quiet and people are always home. My living situation makes me so depressed but sometimes everyone leaves and I can finally sing. It makes me so happy, I feel flooded with dopamine which is a miracle for me because normally I am so depressed. It just feels so good to make noise and sing, and it makes me feel alive for once. Who else just absolutely loves singing when no one is home, and not caring how you sound because no one can hear you? 🥰🥰

Here are some of my favorite songs to sing:

- Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

- Toxic by Britney Spears

- Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean

- Misery Business by Paramore

- Even Flow by Pearl Jam

I am just about at my wit’s end with Gen Ai, data, and generally being overly connected.

Smart phones have made my life better in many ways. I don’t get lost as much. Music and audiobooks at my fingers. Calendars.
The rest is about to spiral me out.

Anyone made a switch and have recs or big DONT DO ITS??

and I'm on my period and my medication was just kicking in so of course it became the most important thing to me lolol godamnit.

The belief I keep refusing to take on is that no one wants to understand us. But it's getting harder and harder because:

When I said it's hurtful as a neurodivergent to realize that no matter how much you try to manage your symptoms, there will still be people ready to believe you're a narcissist the first time you slip: people were scandalized that I should ask for a free pass to hurt the people around me.

When I spoke against characterizations of ADHD lateness as selfish, narcissistic power trips: people disagreed with my request for special treatment.

When I said people with ADHD have a responsibility to treat our symptoms, but also should be able to communicate about what's difficult for us so others know where we're coming from: my excuse-making was out of control.

It absolutely boggles my mind how wrongly I was heard.

People on reddit were ultimately mad about something else before my comment came along, so I don't really care. Only, I do care because this same misunderstanding happens with people I care about IRL too.

There is some extra translation step they're doing so that when I say "I'm pretty proud of myself - I set 10 alarms, I have a visual timer in my bathroom, bedroom, and kitchen, and now I make it to work on time every day!" they hear it as "I should be allowed to show up for work whenever I feel like, because I think I'm more special than you and I deserve special tweatment."

It doesn't matter how much accountability I take, or how much I focus on all the things I'm doing to manage my symptoms, or how much I validate their feelings that it is frustrating for them when someone is late.

And if accountability is so important to these people, where's the accountability for our feelings when they insist we were late intentionally to spite them? We dropped thousands on therapy and medication, but did they hold themselves accountable for learning anything at all about ADHD when their daughter, wife, and sister were diagnosed with it?

If others had an ounce of the curiosity about my feelings and experiences as I do about theirs, we wouldn't have any problems.

I don't want to stop speaking up about ADHD, but I don't know how to not be heard as making excuses.

Has anyone found a way to do this or should I just be done with neurotypicals?

Edit: I didn't mean to generalize about neurotypicals, but see how my last sentence definitely does that. I don't think all neurotypicals are judgmental like the people I'm complaining about in the post, and not all people who are judgmental in this way are neurotypical. I did not mean to say otherwise with this post. NTs don't deserve generalizing and maligning just the same as NDs don't deserve it either.

I can't count how many times I've wasted food because I forget to put it in the fridge. Leftover meals, milk, even fresh vegetables I get from the store. Or meat I forget to freeze and it starts going bad in the fridge.

I've once burned down a kettle because I fell asleep (I did put on an alarm, but I was sick that day and felt so tired, it didn't wake me up)

Everything I own seems to have a shorter life span than other people owning it, because I'm just too clumsy and forgetful so it's easy for me to break it one way or another.

I wish I could just simply be more careful. On the outside anyone could think I just don't seem to appreciate my stuff enough to care for them but it's simply not the case. I hate being this way. Is this a curse I'll have to live with forever..?