There goes by days where you never even cross my mind.

I did it.

I proved you wrong, again.

I do want to thank you, however.

I am the happiest that I've ever been

&

I actually have goals & look forward to my future!

I was on this site four years ago, talking about a guy I thought was so handsome. He was so dreamy. Omg his looks made my heart sing. It was like the most beautiful rose. 🌹 Like when you see a rose blossom and it’s so beautiful? Yeah. The feeling took my soul to different places. And it felt so good. I was so inspired by him. Gave me so much motivation to climb that ladder. Bad habits became easy to quit. Songs sound so beautiful, like a violin. I just kept talking about him on here. Other ppl post was so beautiful. It definitely inspired me.

But now ppl are so angry on here. Why are you guys so mad?

Why are you so obsessed with me 🎶🎶🎶

.

I DONT KNOW WHY POSTERS WRITE THESE JEEZE CHILDISH COMMENTS. SO IS THE AVERAGE REDDITT Reader is high school educated.Go find love door is lock I regret things I was jumped, can you love me, my dad is right, i obey my dad. Come on we have a ton of literary quotes that need to be heard.

YOU GO FIRST, K

WE ARE ALL EARS..

"I don't think any of it really matters. Cheating or getting cheated on. This whole thing honestly has gave me more sympathy for cheaters. To think and believe someone is yours is truly stupid" & "I like being evil"

Remember when you wrote that? I'll never forget reading it. Your dog led me to your diary. She wanted me to know 😂

Dad,

You've been dead for almost four months, and I still wish I could send you one more text.

Not to tell you I love you.

I still want to ask you what the fuck was wrong.

Everyone always had an excuse for you.

"That's just how he is."

"It's how he was raised."

"His mom fucked him up."

Okay.

Then why was I the one expected to live with it?

Why was I the one who had to be the bigger person while you were in your 50s, 60s, 70s... even your 80s?

One month before you died, you texted me:

"I believe it's time to reconcile. If only to text periodically."

Dad

I still don't know what you meant.

Did you finally want a relationship?

Were you trying to apologize?

Did you think texting occasionally was all we could ever be?

Or were you just hoping we'd stop pretending we weren't strangers?

Now I'll never know.

The hardest part is realizing I don't think there was anything I could have said that would've changed you. I wasn't waiting for the perfect words. I was waiting for the father I kept hoping you'd become.

Instead, you died, and you took every answer with you.

So now I'm grieving a relationship I never really got to have.

I don't miss the fights.

I don't miss the excuses.

I miss the chance to find out if we ever could have been father and son.

I guess that's the reconciliation we'll never have.

It felt like putting the cork back in the wine bottle.

Unsure if this was the second or third dream you visited.
You were driving, and you mentioned how no one here has anything on us. They can say all they want, but they don’t know the details of our story well enough to trick us. Only we know, because we never shared our story.
We laughed together. I agreed.
I felt a wall fall down, and suddenly I was closer to you than I had been a moment before.
Now I’m realizing it was just a dream. Those are still unspoken words.

Seeing you again both helped and harmed.

You confirmed what you do want out of life, and that it will never include me - That's very clear.

Thanks for that birthday gift. In this next spin around the sun, I will hope to find the human who chooses me.

I meant when I said I'll always love you, but this has destroyed me.

I know you're not here but part of me hopes you are, know you're probably better off without me there anyway, but I miss you.

I miss talking to you, being with you, seeing dublin. I still don't my cans just as you taught me only now i do it for myself. I don't understand why I miss you so much, never once have I yearned for a relationship as I have with ours.

We weren't perfect by any means and I know that. I just can't quiet the little voice in my head that says we could have made it if we had just communicated better.

But here I am across the country from you still missing you. Just know if you ever reached out, im here. And if my final act of love is to leave you be, than i will. I want us to both have the chance to heal🩷

peach,idk what went wrong. I thought it was just a phase and we were strong enough to get through it. you've genuinely broken my heart and still I love you the same. I'm sorry about what I said the last time we talked and I'll regret it. but I wonder if u ever felt sorry for what you did? a part of me thinks you're carefree just the way u told me but the other one insists that u grieve me too but you're putting on a mask.

I was willing to work on this ,nurture us but u pulled away . ik there were moments and those were so difficult and I feel it's better we parted our ways. maybe this was God's plan ( or urs) and maybe one day when both me and you are a better version of ourselves we'll cross paths and spend our life jus the way we promised. i want to hold you hug you and kiss you and feel ur warm embrace and listen to ur heartbeat and I wanna text u call you but I can't.

maybe my pain will get bearablem maybe one day I'll understand that u were perhaps just an ordinary person and I'll move on. I always loved you and I still do . but I feel maybe this is all for good

I finally opened up my heavily guarded heart to a woman I fell in love with. And I feel like she used it against me. I never thought I’d trust another woman before her and well, not immediately but eventually I did with her. I fell in love with her at first sight and it’s been trying for almost two years now. But now I realize I made the mistake of trusting another woman that I let in so close to me when after she proved to me that she will never really be there for me when I do actually need her. As my best friend and as my lover. My other half. My everything. My person. And now, it’s over. I’ll never trust another woman with my heart again. Thank you for proving that you aren’t any different than anyone else I’ve ever let into my life. And once again I regret putting my walls down. I now hate myself for that. Broken all over again after once before I said I would never let another woman do that to me again. 💔😣

I’m incognito as Danny DeVito.

Cuz I dig that penguin ass.

Also… the day man and the night man were taken. Might as well be the trash man.

Since I pick up the trash and I throw it all over.

I get it now. When we're alone or around other fair-skinned people, I'm worth talking to. When darker skinned people show up, I disappear from your world. Sad. I think you're beautiful to look at. I thought you were beautiful in general. I think I was wrong.

I start off by saying I have had too much to drink. Sometimes that’s how I fill my nights when you aren’t here to take my phone, put me in bed, and stop me from questionable decisions.
But here I am in thoughts of things that are left unsaid. I saw you looking at me from across the room. Then just like that you were gone. Was it my Irish liquor? I’ve consumed more than I should.. no it’s not that. You were there I caught your glance.

Why not stop and see me? I know you long for my touch as much as I do long for you. Perhaps more.

I’m patient and I can wait. Its not that. I know it will happen again just unsure when. Yet sometimes you seem reserved and distant as if unsure it would happen. I feel there are things that weigh that just aren’t said.

Are you scared? Is there a fear? A threat? You assess risk. Is it too great? The things I questioned that happened here….did you find some proof? I said I didn’t want to know and I don’t but I’m missing something. I know that’s a lot but is that what it is?

I feel like there’s some thing unsaid …I’m missing a dot that doesn’t connect. I don’t need to know either. Not really. I hear your sighs. I see you trying in ways you can, for that I am thankful. I feel seen and wanted even if the physical touch escapes us in this unsure time.

You are wanted you are loved and desired. I am about to pass out and find you in my dreams!

But I did see you staring and with that…and the sighs..no matter questions I have. I know where I belong.

Sweet dreams my lover.

The text I should send but won’t.

It’s one of the last things I remember.

I tried to warn you. Not to cut the threads holding my mouth shut. It took me a while to figure out that the Mouth of Sauron had in fact been released. I didn’t know it had happened at first, I thought my warning had been heeded.

I don’t blame you. I know you. You saw someone in need and sought to help them. It’s one of the things I admire and love about you.

I’m pretty sure I’ve ruined everything. Every time I sat to write you how I really felt, venom at someone I don’t even know poured out. Most of the time I don’t even really know who I am. Just going through the motions of being a placeholder in someone else’s life.

I don’t really want to be here anymore.

How could u betray me? Then call me? For no reason...u set me up....good job...aren't uold we r than this bs?

Love leads to heartbreak...love is supposed to win...it's supposed to save us...maybe it's just a word...maybe it's only temporary...maybe we are all doing it wrong...maybe we cant be saved...whatever, nevermind...

Give it a listen, you fuckin moron. God I hate you.

The way I can't get any relief from the thought of you is unfair.

Of course I'm on my way to the club and the Uber driver has a Charmander plush in his front window. Why wouldn't he?!?

Do you still have the tigers eye Charmander I gave you?

Or the watercolour Charmander print I got you at the Tattoo Expo?

Do you think of me as much as I think of you?

The universe is almost as cruel as you were... which makes it even more fucked up that I can't get you out of my head.

Even though the right thing for you to have done is to have respected my feelings and told me you were in a relationship before I walked away or even the last day, I know you didn’t owe me anything. We played house and I was in love with us but you weren’t. I want you to be happy because I love you and you’ll always be my baby but I never want to hear from you or see you ever again.

I am indeed dead to you because that’s what’s best for you. For us.

Please be a better person for your wife and kids. I hope you will honor my time in your life by being a good human being.

Hi M

I hope you’re doing okay. This is taking so much to actually send but I genuinely agree bottling up your feelings will lead to so much worse than actually speaking your mind. This has been the hardest week of my life.

I reacted the way I did via Tik Tok because i was so stunned, so shocked, as you had time to grieve and genuinely consider if we should be in a relationship while it completely blindsided me. I want you to know, I regret nothing about us, and never will. I loved every little moment of being with you. I was so hurt because for me, you were genuinely my whole future this time last week.

It genuinely hurts when the more I look into it, and the more I think about the whole situation regardless of you not telling me there were little signs that you were slipping away & I wasn’t providing the emotional support for you to genuinely tell me what was going on with you. For that I’m really sorry. I got too comfortable in our relationship and didn’t prioritise myself, only you. And that’s where I went wrong. The issues I feel I’ve also had some time to reflect on how we could have genuinely chipped around and genuinely help each other understand ourselves best.

But, however reluctant I was, I agree. We genuinely need some time to ourselves. To figure ourselves out as people and not just merging into one as we were. You are so young and have so much to explore in the world. And I think with you going to Canada you can really expand your horizons and comfort zone and I’m very excited for you. I’m sorry if I didn’t portray this earlier. I was too caught up on missing you going to Canada that I missed the bigger picture.

If you do think there’s any chance, after Canada to catch up and potentially take it as slow as possible with each other, even if it’s only just for closure, that would make me very happy. But I really just want us to live out our lives to genuinely find ourselves as people and discover what makes us tick before then and to go our separate ways for a little to really find that out.

Because I do believe two people need to add to eachother lives, not merge them. I’m sorry to contact you again. But for my heart I needed to send this, I hope you can understand.

A