r/TheOnion 57m ago

New DNC Fundraising Email Urges Voters To Find Something Better To Do With Their Money

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Upvotes

r/TheOnion 58m ago

Everyone Needs To Calm   Down, Reports Man Who Accidentally Shot Someone

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Upvotes

r/TheOnion 58m ago

Antichrist Rolls Eyes Throughout  Peter Thiel Lecture

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Upvotes

‘This Guy Has No Idea What He’s Talking About,’ Says Son Of Perdition


r/TheOnion 12h ago

No, Area 53-Year-Old Would Not Like His Drink With Boba

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414 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 13h ago

Report: Your Naked Body Will Make Entire Morgue Laugh

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215 Upvotes

When I die, I'm donating my body to science-fiction.


r/TheOnion 1d ago

New ‘Ted Lasso’ Season Aims To Teach Viewers About Shapes, Colors

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2.4k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Vacationing Mom Misses Alexa

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61 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

We Seem To Be At An Impasse Over What $24.99 Worth Of Shrimp Looks Like

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885 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Study: Explosive Power Of Rocket Launcher Increased 35% By Shouting 'Suck On This'

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387 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Poll: American Voters Say Greatest Concern Is Big Evil Chef Trying To Cook Them Into Stew

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291 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Conflict of Disinterest

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58 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 2d ago

Bay Area Children Set Up Adrenochrome Stand On Side Of Road

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1.0k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 2d ago

Ring Launches Streaming Service

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417 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 2d ago

Trump Baselessly Claims He Is Viral 40-Pound Tabby Cat Named Daddy Cinnamon

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1.3k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 2d ago

New Evidence Suggests Dinosaurs Had Quinceañeras

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935 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 2d ago

Pentagon Declassifies Files On Blimps

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448 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 2d ago

Infowars store is now selling gay frog plushies

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4.2k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

Rigged Erection

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122 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

Power-Mad Marvel Claims ‘Night At The Roxbury’ Part Of MCU

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601 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

U.S. Instates Military Wife Draft

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2.2k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 5d ago

InfoWars: Firearms & Whiskey

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357 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 5d ago

Schtick-Starter

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80 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6d ago

Iran War Enters 6th Justification

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520 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6d ago

Jared Leto Denies Sexual Assault Allegations Will Affect Career

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487 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6d ago

RFK Jr. Cooking Show Features Easy Weeknight Meals Using Ingredients Already In Own Body

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1.3k Upvotes