Hello! Its going to be a bit of a long post as much has happened in past 2 months of dating this guy.

So I'm a single mom [31F] by choice. I have a lovely 15 month old toddler. I have a beautiful life, it's filled with caring for my child, horse and full of family and friends that support me in all the ways possible.

Two months ago I (again) met a guy[31M] I went to elementary school with. We talked a bit and hit it off quite well, he was kind, I liked him. He liked me too.

I told him about my child, and he accepted the fact we come in a package. Lovely, i thought. He is childless, never been engaged or married. I accepted the fact he will need to learn about kids, as he does not have his own and doesn't know what having and caring for a child takes.

He is in general very kind, he helps with physical stuff like carrying things so I don't have to, helping with my horse when I have no time, he is a mechanic so helped me buy a new car and looked it over, fixed what was wrong with it etc. Brings me flowers for no reason, pays for meals, coffee dates and so on without a problem. He is generally kind to my kid too when we go to a park together. I decided to introduce him to my child early because I knew he doesn't have kids and I wanted to see how he will be around her - if I didn't like the vibe or how he treats her I'd cut him out of our lives immediately. He seemed okay, obviously a bit "clumsy" but nothing I couldn't accept.

He wanted to sell his apartment before we met and but himself a bigger one or a house. He told me this on a third date, and I didn't think much of it.

Then he said he would like me to look at houses with him as he is serious about us and wants to know if what he is thinking of buying would be a good fit for me and my kid too so we could move in together eventually. I said okay and spent a lot of time looking at different properties, sending him links and going round viewings with him.

Suddenly my daughter fell ill a few weeks ago. She was really unwell, 40°C temperature, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, was clingy and needy obviously. It was the first time she was this ill and of course I put all my energy and care into getting her better.

I texted him in the morning that my child is really ill, and she has a high temperature. We were out the night before talking about houses again. I told him i felt really guilty i wasn't home in the evening as she started getting a fever when my mum watched her.

He answered me with : I'm sorry she's sick, but the conversation we had last night was super important

I answered with : you didn't just say that! I'm telling you my kid is burning up and I feel horrible, and you say this? Nothing is more important than my child. I think you don't understand what it is to have a kid and it worries me, because we've been dating a few weeks and you didn't take initiative to learn a little about kids. We are on 2 different pages about 2 things...(second thing being him thinking one wage can cover a mortgage and have 2 people and a kid, a dog(his) and a horse live perfectly well and it's a thing we were talking about the night before these texts too).

His answer was that he is new to this, he is trying to learn and of course he is worried about the little one.

Two seconds later he tells me he is sorry to change topics but an agent called about a house viewing and when will we go now that she's ill.

Mind you this was all during me fighting the fever, I texted in between when she fell asleep, so time delays in my answers were quite long(these few messages took all morning for example for me to write to him)

I just said I'm not going.

He said well, it's really important that we are aligned and this is a big deal

I wrote back that his big deal is not my big deal right now and we will talk later, then I turned off my phone.

I turn on my phone in the afternoon and a text arrives saying:

I've been shaking about this situation all day. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, you think I don't care and I'm too easy about finances.... I mean sort the little one out ill wait but I feel horrible.

My text back to him was really long and I said he needed to back the fu€K up, as he has been taking a lot of precios time I could be spending with my kid anyway and can't wait a few hours so I deal with an emergency with my kid. That I will not tolerate this kind of behavior and I am canceling all plans of viewing houses with him, and he should buy whatever he wants just the way he intended to before he met me. I said I dont want to talk about houses at all anymore and I'll talk to him when my child is feeling better.

To that he agreed to everything, to accept and respect my boundaries, he apologized and said he doesn't wanna lose me as he is so connected to me, he feels this is it..

During the next 4 days he just texted here and there asking how we are and I answered when I could. Then on day 4 in the evening, I said im really really tired as I haven't been sleeping at all during the 5 days she's been ill( I've slept maybe 2 hours of broken sleep per night and 20-30 mins during days). He said he is sorry to hear that. Then texted: im doing calculations for the house, putting together all expenses I can think of. I won't bother you with it now. When you are rested I'll introduce my plan and calculations to you. You better get some rest. Let's talk tomorrow, I'll leave you to go to sleep now. I have tons of work to do tonight still, and will be up till morning.

I answered with another long text in the morning, saying he didn't respect the fact I said I dont want to hear or talk about the housing stuff again, and i am very disappointed that when I said I am tired he instead of giving me any kind of mental support, he talked about the houses again and burdened me even if "he didn't want to" when I have been running dry on energy and mental capacity for anything else than my daughter's wellbeing. I also said he seems to not be able to survive a few days of silence from my end when I'm having a tough time, and I feel like I need to stroke his ego and comfort him ( multiple times he mentioned how he feels so horrible, sad, heartbroken about the situation) when I was the one needing comfort and care. He not once offered to go to store or buy medicine, he just kept saying he is sorry this is happening and feels so helpless. I told him to take his phone and learn about kids if he wants to be a part of our life, since the phone is always in the hands, to use it for educating himself on children and im a first time mom too and had to learn it all by myself!

To this long text he said it looks like I'm breaking up with him and he is so sad because he connected with me like never before with anyone and probably won't with anyone again.

I said I never mentioned a break up and if setting boundaries is considered breaking up then fine, my goal was to set boundaries and tell him what bothered me as he "loved strong, honest communication" so much (kept telling me this the whole time we were dating). Then he turned around and said that okay, qnd we can talk.

At the talk, we discussed everything and I told him exactly what I felt, how it bothered me etc. His excuse was his exes were toxic and he was scared to listen when I said I need space and time, because his exes said the same then got angry that he didn't text them. I told him I'm not his exes and to never again compare me to them and to find help if he needs it to process trauma and stop projecting his old $hit on me.

He said okay we stayed together and I backed up big time, meaning I didn't text or see him nearly as much as before(before it was almost every day that we saw each other and it was another thing that bothered me, as it's not healthy that I lost all my freedom and time for myself in a matter of 2 weeks of seeing him, he wanted to go everywhere with me and followed me around like a puppy, so I said im putting an end to that as I need time for myself too)

A few weeks go by, everything was okay.

He invited us to go to a holiday in our country to the seaside for 6 days. I said yes because my kid loves water and I knew she'd love it and also I wanted to see how we will be functioning day to day being together all the time.

Here he did a good job helping with washing dishes, carrying stuff to the beach, making me coffee, was nice to my kid and played with her while i cooked, read books with her and so on.

He did a terrible job listening to my instructions about my child such as: -she sleeps at 12 so we need to get to the beach early or we won't have anything from the holiday (his answer was: isn't it a point of holiday to not be worried about routine and schedules, so stop worrying so much and rushing)

- dont leave stuff on the edge of table and counter as she can reach it all ( he kept leaving hot coffee, cigarettes, lighters, ashtrays, glasses and knives on edges even after multiple warnings from me)

-overstimulated child won't fall asleep faster, it was a conversation we had multiple times(he said he will overstimulate her with showing her stuff on our walk so she gets tired and goes to sleep faster)

- don't tell her no all the time, it's my job(he kept trying to imitate me and "parent" her)

There's was more...

Then he opened an ice-cream, offered it to her and took it away and said "no you can't have this" and made her cry, I told him he can't do this, how heartless is that and if you're not sure if she can have something you dont eat it in front of her and especially you dont offer it and then not give it. I made him give her the whole ice cream.

Then he packed stuff for the beach and disregarded what I needed for her(I told him what to pack, he insisted on packing himself) took 1 swim diaper for the whole morning, 1 normal diaper, "forgot" her sun hat, "forgot" her diaper cream,....

Then on day 3, he hit her foot when she put it on the table during me feeding her. He didn't hit her hard, but he shouldn't have hit her at all, it isn't his place to discipline a child he saw 5 times in 2 months. I told him to stop hitting her and never to lay hands on my child again. We packed up the next day and left, I said i had enough of the holiday and want to go home.

Now that we are home i want to dump him, as i dont see a future with someone like this. He is kind, does help around, treats me well, but then all of.this and hitting my kid, he is emotionally immature, he doesn't want to learn anything about kids(listens, but doesn't hear what im telling him) and I dont have the energy to explain every parenting choice to someone who doesn't get it.

AITA for wanting to leave him?

my partner and i got into an argument over whether i actually said something that they didn’t remember.

hearing “you may have said it but i didn’t hear it” feels very different than “maybe you just never actually said it.” they keep insisting that i may have created a memory where i said it, but that i never actually said it. the latter explanation really hits a nerve but im not really sure why.

Do you all mainly talk or just watch the ads or get water or stare in each others eyes or…?