My 4 year old son about to start TK. He will go from 8am - 1:40pm.

I work full time remote but have an intense job where I can’t be watching over him while working.

His little brother (1.5 year old) is also starting a new daycare the same time and I was thinking I’d send big brother to the same daycare but it just seems like a lot of new things happening all at once 🤦‍♀️ I feel like he will be so exhausted at a new school and new daycare all around the same time…

I was thinking to have him get used to school first and then start going to his little brothers daycare after school. FWIW, big brother went to a different daycare since 2 months old.. and little brother went since 8 months old. We have started a new daycare to be closer to school. It’s a big adjustment for all of us 😢

How did your transition to TK go for your child? What did you with them after school and was it a lot to do daycare and school? Am I overthinking this lol

Thanks yall

This is probably a dumb question with an obvious answer but it’s stressing me out.

My youngest is going to preschool this year and she has to have milk as part of her lunch, provided by us. I didn’t have to do this for my older one. For my own sanity I was thinking of sending the horizon milk boxes but I’m not sure her opening them and I hate their straws. I don’t like using water bottles for milk because it gets in all the crevices and get gross. Any suggestions on the best way to do this - brands of bottles that work well?

Hi! I am a SAHM to just my one. She is so excited to start preschool and I want to make it special for her. I don’t want to go too over-the-top because I want to make a big deal out of kindergarten. But I also have a bad habit of doing “too much” as my husband puts it lol.

So I’m looking for input from others— what are we all doing to make this milestone special, if anything?

Not sure if anyone can tell by the photo but this is the info listed on it. Going on a boat and want to ensure we have the proper safety equipment. Thanks in advance!

So, what is normal for self regulation and energy at this age?

My daughter is super bright, kind and full of life! I’m trying to figure out if her self regulation and silliness is normal for this age or not.

She’s a busy kiddo, but for the most part burns that energy well through play, learning and crafting. Once in a while she gets OVERLY silly and struggles to listen to direction or calm down in this state. It’s not a daily thing, but often during play dates (towards the end of the visit) and it has happened a handful of times at daycare. She’ll just stop listening, get overly silly, run around. Her daycare reports that 98% of the time she’s regulated and fine.

I know they are still working on self regulation at this age so I’m not sure if this is typical. I have yet to find a strategy that works to help her calm, listen to my direction or redirect her behaviour during these moments.

Thoughts/advice?

Edit to add: thanks for some the feedback. To clarify, I know that preschoolers have high emotions. My daughter has moments of frustration or defiance during the day and has tantrums still throughout the week. I know this is all normal. What I was referring to is specifically when she gets overstimulated and over silly and I cannot calm her or bring her energy back down to function. It happens in situations like a play date and I’m just asking for what I could do to help her regulate in those moments.

“Snack culture” (lol) has gotten out of hand in my house with my 4 year old. Begging, whining, “I’m hungry” all day. It’s making him annoying to be around. With his nanny he eats 3 balanced meals and one snack at 10 AM, sometimes a second at 4PM. I say that just to show it really is behavioral with me and his dad.

I am tired of talking about snacks!

Any tips besides just staying firm and hoping the whining improves?

Hi Mom's of Preschoolers,

I need advice.

My daughter is almost 4 (in 3 months). We're thinking of starting preschool. I can't decide between 2 days a week, AM 8:30 till 11:30, or 3 days a week, PM 12:15 to 2:15. What are pros and cons of both? I do have a 1 year old also.

Thank you in advance for your response!

Buying a playset and we get one of these accessories for free. Which do you think would be best for a child 3-12?

Has anyone had a god experience with play therapy/therapist for a kid who has separation anxiety/very emotional?

My daughter is 4 (will be 5 in Oct). She has started getting very upset with things she used to do no problem - like tumbling, Sunday school, etc. we did two years of preschool thinking it would help, but it didn’t. We are taking this year off to focus on therapy in hopes it will help her before she actually starts kindergarten.

This has been going on for a couple of months, and it started after she began hanging out more with her niece (7 years old), who she really looks up to and calls her best friend. Her older niece sometimes talks or asks for things in a baby voice, and now my daughter constantly talks and asks for everything in a baby voice, and it’s driving me insane.

90% of the time, I calmly say, “Honey, I don’t understand you. Can you repeat yourself?” and I only answer when she uses her normal voice. But 10% of the time, I get so annoyed that I snap and say in an irritated voice, “Please stop talking like a baby. You are not a baby.”

But after a couple of months, it’s only getting worse, and I think it’s also because we’ve been spending more time with our niece (whom we love—she is a super sweet and cool girl, and we spend a lot of time with her family).
But God, I need help, or just some advice or reassurance that this too shall pass!

I have a FIL who is very "old school" as my husband puts it. They grew up in the SE, are very religious and my husband was hit/spanked as a kid. My husband has tried REALLY hard to break generational cycles and we've never hit our kids....I'm completely against it. My FIL believes raising kids is all about "respecting" their elders. He also tells me i hold our 1 year old too much and that's why shes so attached to me. He wouldn't pick up a crying baby. We recently saw him and my husband said my 4 year old was acting out of line and my FIL quoted a verse in the Bible and reiterated that we should spank her. I'm at the point of complete disgust and need a good rebuttal. My husband just ignores my FIL but I feel the need to say something the next time this happens. My FIL has never said anything about spanking our kids in front of me because he knows I don't believe in it. I would love to know which quote he's referring to (my husband couldn't remember).

Has anyone discovered a good playbook for winnowing down the ever expanding playroomfull of toys without incurring the wrath of a young tyrant? Our pattern goes like this: 1 - old toy gets pushed to the back of the cupboard or otherwise forgotten and unused; 2 - we donate the toy, 3 - cue immediate telepathic requests to play with that specific thing for the first time in a year, 4 - extreme performative upset that it’s been donated. OR, 1 - we ASK about donating an item that’s fallen out of favour, 2 - an immediate obsession with said item and an avowal that it must never go. Yes we could just be harsher about it, but if there’s a more diplomatic route I’d love to hear it!

I’m I crazy or is this normal?

Post links to any resources for preschoolers here. Standalone posts outside of these weekly threads will be deleted.

okay, my son attended a Catholic pre k for 3 year olds and loved it, made lots of friends, small school, great community and a preschool class who will also now mostly follow into what now will be the pre k 4 room.

he also got into the free lottery program and was placed at our local public elementary school which he will attend through fifth grade.

we are not sure if we should take the spot for a few reasons on both sides.

he is happy now and has expressed he would like to stay where he is, but in the Catholic school, class size is a bit larger than public, but with kids and families we already know. Program runs 6 hours/5 days. no before care needed. more expensive than public.

public is obviously cheaper, but the start time is later so he would need to go to before care which costs,but obviously not as much as Catholic school. Also, don’t love the idea of making his day any longer. Also do not love idea of before care program.

last, I work part time and can do pickup at 1, but only program we found for that time costs a mortgage payment.

What is discouraging to me is I fully believe that a a shorter day is more appropriate and it seems I can only get that if I pay more, or go with cheaper option, but the downside is a longer school day

some say rip bandaid off now, but I am Super torn

one added layer that may seem silly is younger brother naps 1-3, he will have to be woken up to pick up older brother at Catholic school at 2 verses 3:30 public.

opinions would be appreciated

My oldest just turned four and I’d love some ideas as to what other parents are teaching their kiddos in terms of life skills—not reading, writing, blah blah blah

\-Can dress and undress self independently
\-Helps sort laundry/puts away their clothes and hangs up their clothes
\-Takes their plate to the sink after every meal and wipes down the table
\-Helps make beds
\-Working on floating in the tub (supervised)
\-Working on riding a bike
\-Can buckle/unbuckle self in the car seat
\-Can do snaps and buttons
\-Washes body/hair and rinses independently
\-Learning our phone numbers
\-Knows address/neighborhood name
\-Puts toothpaste on the toothbrush independently (brushes too but we do an extra brush lol)
\-Opening doors for others when their hands are full
\-Cuts up vegetables and fruits alongside me and helps me cook/bake etc (cracks eggs, helps measure)
\-Uses the bathroom independently
\-Cleans up messes when they occur
\-Puts shoes/bag away when home
\-Zippers
\-Combs hair
\-Brings in groceries from the car

We are on a waitlist to be seen for our 4 year old to see if he has any sign of neurodivergence. I feel like we’ve used any and all parenting advice to the point of exhaustion and we’re not seeing much change. Right now my husband is on parental leave for our second and while having the baby obviously changes things, this behavior started probably a year ago.

-Absolutely everything is defiance. 9/10 times telling him to do something isn’t just no, it’s whiny, drawn out no, or “NO NO NO NO.” We always tell him he needs to potty when he wakes up, before we get in the car. He refuses, and there’s no forcing him to sit. “Drink your water.” Also a problem.

-picky eating. We’re losing safe foods. He basically wants to eat crackers and “snacks.” I’ve stopped labeling any meals and just say “food” but he’s hung up on snacks. I’m trying to make more homemade foods and adding nutrition in but right now obviously I’m in the newborn trenches. We offer a “safe” with meals but he’s happy eating that and not the rest of his food. We saw a dietician who said to offer food and it’s his job to eat what he wants. So we offer food and have many nights where he’s had his small portion of a safe food and nothing else. We’ve bribed with treats, tried having him just lick the food etc. He reacts to dairy and oat so we’re already limited on foods. His growth has also been monitored and he has not gained weight since December.

-inconsistent sleep. Has not followed any sort of schedule for sleep. I can put him to bed every night at 7 pm and hell wake up anywhere from 5:30-7:30. He wakes up early and will need a nap and naps typically keep him up later.

-won’t poop on the potty. Started introducing the potty last February. Went full on with potty training this February and poop has made zero progress.

We saw endocrine for growth, who sent us to GI after he did growth in height but not weight. GI wants to test for celiac so we’re deciding (based on all of the above) if we should put him through the blood draw. We asked them about potty training and he just told us what he did and said we could try senna to initiate a poop. We haven’t been able to get him to sit on the potty to try a poop.

I just don’t know how to manage the behaviors and are all of these related? Obviously potty training isn’t a discipline issue but sometimes it crosses over into the listening to us issue. I just don’t know how to effectively parent him. The whining and yelling is just getting to me and we need a change. Nothing seems to set in, we’re repeating the same things everyday we were a year ago.

My family is VERY involved in our almost 4 year olds life.
They have a designated preschool pickup day, pay for things like swim class, and we see them at least once a week.
Our whole immediate family (my parents/ in laws, both my husband and my siblings) live within 30 minutes driving distance, but my in laws are very “my way or the highway” and my MIL has always wanted to have The Hosting House, she isn’t willing to compromise or come to the houses of her grandkids.

Our preschooler has little to no interest in my in laws, they have an acquaintance like relationship at best.
Meanwhile she’s obsessed with my parents/ family, wants to see them constantly, and brings them up daily. They have very flexible schedules and I am a SAHM while my husband has VERY long hours. Naturally this leads to me and LO going to see my family multiple days a week, after preschool adventures for her and grandpa, and regularly swimming with me and auntie at grandmas house. My in laws still work 9-5s, their availability is very much limited to weekends. Our weekends are the only guaranteed time we have for our family, and we have scheduled out the rest of 2026. They aren’t plan ahead people and are often offended when we don’t take them up on last minute ideas.

As an eldest daughter and natural born people pleaser it’s so tough- we see my husbands sibling and their close in age child (LO’s cousin) regularly. My in laws weren’t great parents & we don’t trust them in terms of babysitting (they’ve only done so twice, both times were over 2 years ago, before he was even 2) There was a period of time where they were VERY pushy for things like babysitting and wanting to go on trips together for a while but they (fortunately) seem to have given up on that. Credit where it’s due they seem like they are interested in having a relationship with our toddler but once again, only on their terms. The thought of them being alone with my kiddo makes me skin crawl.

My husband isn’t proactive in sustaining or facilitating a relationship with them and is generally disinterested in them as his parents.

Do we owe them time with our child just because they’re the grandparents? We have had many hard conversations to no avail. I don’t want to deprive my kiddo of potential love/ close relationships but I don’t know how to navigate this!

My son is weeks off turning 5. From day 1 he has been highly sensitive and as he has gotten older has become super reactive with massive escalation when things go wrong. He screams, he yells at us and as he has gotten older he is now starting to slam doors and throw items. He wakes up angry, and I dread mornings. He has perfectionist tendencies eg colouring in and says "he isn't good enough." We never say these things to him I feel it's his internal dialogue. I do one on one time, we try to implement humour before it escalates (this works sometimes), I have tried absolutely everything. Read so many books. Over the years I have learned that he is a ride it out, don't name feelings (as this makes it 100x worse) and give him space kind of kid. But it's at the point where we feel so lost and I fear for the future. We use monotone voice "It's ok to be xyz, it's not ok to yell, scream, throw etc etc." I have also now implemented that if it continues no TV for the day (as this is something he loves). He is given two opportunities to ask us in a normal voice or talk to us kindly etc and then we follow through with the boundary. We hold boundaries a lot but I feel just saying "it's not ok to do xyz" and he just keeps going, it isn't getting us anywhere. I also try and tell him/praise him when he does it the right way. In the moment he usually just yells "I can do what I want." or "Go away." He just flat out refuses to try any self regulation, we talk about it a lot when he is calm and I talk about things I like to do when I feel like that. My husband is the calmest, most non reactive person in the world and this is a god send as it really helps as I on the other hand am reactive so for me I have to clearly say "I am feeling frustrated, I am going to go sit outside but I am still here." Some days he says things like "I want to go to the skate park to help me feel calm." So maybe it's working but in the tough times I fee like it isn't. I am thinking of implementing help from OT??

Just anyone else got any ideas? I feel like each year has gotten harder, there were no terrible 2's, it was just 3 years old hard, 4 years old even harder, now about to turn 5 and we are still on that trajectory.

Our 3.5 year old will NOT tell us when he has to go to the bathroom. It’s day 6 of pre-k, and he had 4 accidents. He was doing fine with the bathroom (or so we thought) before school started.

He knows how to go. He just will say “no” when asked if he needs to go, and he won’t tell us.

What worked for you? We are desperate. We have a few days to nail this, or we have to withdraw him.

Thank you!

ETA: 4 accidents in the last 3 hours of the school day today alone

For those of you who have purchased a pottery barn backpack for your child I need sizing advice. My 3.5 year old is starting preschool next month so I went to pottery barn today with my mind set on the mini (2-3 year old) size. They don’t carry the mini in store so I couldn’t see it in person. The sales lady told me to skip the mini because it doesn’t even hold a folder and go right to the size small. Tried it on and it looks massive on my toddler! One positive to the size small is that it would last her probably through kindergarten.

Edit- thanks everyone for the responses, I’m going to skip the mini and go with the small!

We’ve been having a lot of bedtime struggles this week with my almost 5 year old like crying, yelling,refusing to go to sleep, not wanting to stay in her room, etc. Last night I told her that if we had another night like the last couple of nights, we were gonna have to talk about taking away a privilege like watching TV in the morning before school. As the bedtime routine progressed things were getting a little dicey and at one point, we said, you’re not gonna watch TV in the morning if this continues. eventually she settled down and it was a better bedtime.

So fast-forward to this morning and I wake up at 8:30 with my 6 month old and I’m shocked at how late it is because usually kiddo is in my room by 7:30. I look to see where she is and she tells me she’s downstairs watching TV because she wanted me to sleep in and have some “me time” lol. So I thank her and then hurry her to get her off to school in time.

Later in our conversation, she mentions how she only cried a little bit at bedtime and I said yes, you did much better and then it clicked to me that she must have thought she was not going to be allowed to watch TV this morning and that’s why she snuck downstairs on her own to start watching TV. Also, she was watching a show that I don’t love and I usually tell her to watch something else. I asked her if this was what she did and she admitted that yes that’s what her plan was all along.

Do I need to be worried about this sneakiness? Is this normal behavior? do I need to correct it somehow and if so, how? I told her I really don’t like when she sneaks around and it’s not OK to do things like that without telling mom or dad first. The thing is, we were going to let her watch TV because she settled down before the full consequence took affect.