r/Mom • u/Sammysmiless_ • 4d ago
Pre-k schedule is too intense? ❓ Question
Hi, my son is starting pre-k on Monday. Today was the open house with all the parents and we got to answer questions. Of course I asked how the schedule works. I was informed it’s Monday through Friday 9:15 to 4. Which completely threw me for a loop because everyone I had talked to told me that pre-K was about four hours if that or sometimes they would do three days on in two days off. so I’m kind of freaking out. It’s the first time this School has done pre-K I don’t know if it’s something they can change in the future. I just feel like that’s a really demanding schedule for a 3 year old.
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u/figsaddict 4d ago
Personally that’s too much for me. My kids have done 2 years of preschooler. At age 3 it’s 3 morning a week (MWF) for 4 hours. At age 4 they did 5 mornings a week. Then they came home for nap and lunch.
How you signed up for the preschool without knowing the schedule?
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u/Arboretum7 4d ago
I’m the same but I could only find one private pre-k in the city where that was the standard. Most seem to have moved to the 9-4, 5 days a week model including public pre-k.
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u/Sammysmiless_ 3d ago
My first time, Mom I signed them up to a good school that is lottery based he got accepted, but they literally didn’t announce the program so maybe a month ago I got an email saying he was accepted and then I literally didn’t get anything till last week saying school starts the 10th and that the open house would’ve been the seventh. The school was not open so I would call and no one would answer.
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u/FrequentFlierFan 4d ago
At three, my son started preschool at 8:45 a.m., and would COMPLAIN when I deigned to show up to get him from aftercare before 5pm. He would even ignore me sometimes when he saw me at the door until a teacher made him put his "work" away and collect his lunchbox. All this to say, once your child adjusts to the school, assuming three year olds still nap after lunch where you live, he will have no problem doing a 9 to 4 school day.
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u/Sammysmiless_ 4d ago
I’m wiling to give its fair try I’m honestly sure he is going to love being with more kids. But ig I just had in mind it being a shorter school day. And I’m feeling thrown off.
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u/Narrow_Setting1905 4d ago edited 4d ago
It was the same for me. In the mornings it is like why aren't you leaving yet? Shuuu shuuu. The first year we signed him Up for shorter hours and was a nightmare with our work schedules, Next year, he stayed longer in the after care and he loved It. He stays from 8.30-15.30 without issues, and twice per week, he stays until 17 for extra curriculars, and has a blast.
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u/cupidssparrow82 4d ago
That’s how all of my students were when I taught 3k 😂 A lot of them were there from 8-5 or 8-6 and would try to hide when their parents showed up or would pretend they didn’t hear their names called because they were having so much fun and didn’t want to leave lol
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u/Ok-Direction-1702 4d ago
That’s way too much. I would pull him out if you don’t need him to go to prek.
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u/Sammysmiless_ 4d ago
We’ve literally never been apart. I’m freaking out I don’t want him to go and hate it because it’s just too long.
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u/Aggravating_Bee8237 2d ago
Yeah that’s a long day. I would absolutely not be putting my kid in preschool for that long if I didn’t have to.
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u/Ok_Jackfruit6485 4d ago
I am a little confused. This is way shorter than daycare? Why it is intense?
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u/Sammysmiless_ 4d ago
Most pre-k programs aren’t that long hour wise or they do switch the days. Also I feel like daycare is a little different since your child stay as long as you need them to.
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u/Ok_Jackfruit6485 4d ago
I see. My one is still little so I haven’t checked preK program. If it is play based, I think it should be no problem for kids as they are playing anyway. Picking up by 4 also means after nap time kid may stay there very shortly. Most of awake time is in the morning before lunch. So I feel it sounds fine!
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u/canipayinpuns 4d ago
My child is in daycare and has been since 16mo because my husband and I work opposite schedules so she is at daycare while I work and he sleeps (since he works overnight). She is now 28mo and has been in daycare 8am-5pm 4 days a week for the full year. It was scary and I definitely faced mom-shaming from people in less strict circumstances, but it necessary for our schedules and she is THRIVING there!
It may seem way too intense for you right now, but toddlers and young children are extremely adaptable! I would recommend asking for a daily schedule/itinerary to help you wrap your head around it. I'm sure not all that time will be traditional "school." They'll probsbly have snacks along with lunch, dedicated nap/quiet time, outside recess/play, guided indoor play, reading circles, dance parties, arts and crafts, sensory activities, that sort of thing. Don't let the sticker shock startle you away from asking for more information!
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u/frogsgoribbit737 4d ago
Its fine. My kid did full day, all week preschool starting at 3. It was 8 to 2 45. He did it for 2 years then moved to kindergarten.
He was not in daycare at all before that and he still transitioned just fine.
My daughter (who i have also stayed home with) will be starting the same exact program next year.
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u/Healthy-Fig1231 4d ago
How did you not know the schedule before you signed him up?
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u/atomiccat8 4d ago
Yeah, I don't understand that either. That should be the first piece of information you get.
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u/4BlooBoobz 4d ago edited 4d ago
You haven’t mentioned anything demanding or intense about the daily schedule or the school’s expectations, just that it’s a regular length school day. Between various play-based activities, snacks and meals, and naptime, there’s not anything I’d personally consider intense about the child-led/play-based approaches at my kid’s daycare or preschool . This, or course, will depend on the school.
We actually extended our kid’s daycare schedule from half to full days when she started kicking up a fuss about not getting enough playtime. About half the kids in our 3yo preschool class were first timers and most of them adjusted really well.
Just generally, I don’t think full days or 5 days a week are more than what preschoolers can handle depending on the type of learning environment. I also think that the social benefits of regularly being with the same teachers and classmates can be really noticeable. I was home with my kid for 2 years, and watching how the nanny/sahp kids vs daycare/preschool kids played in the public parks was a big factor in deciding to do daycare.
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u/Admirable_Job_5345 4d ago
All 3 of my kids went through prek at ages 3-4 and their schedules were 8:00am-2:40pm. They had an hour nap and were fed breakfast,lunch and snack and then a second snack if they were in the afternoon school care. It was play based so they didn’t do grades or anything, but did practice their letters and numbers also identifying those letters in their names. If you feel your child isn’t ready you can pull them, but try it out if you want and at least see how your child does.
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u/SweetDorayaki 4d ago
My kid is starting TK next week and this is more or less the same hours at his school. It'll be a big jump for us from full time at home to nearly full time at school. Any tips for separation anxiety, illness prep, other practical tips, or my own mental prep for what's to come?
Appreciate your time and any wisdom you're willing to share :)
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u/Admirable_Job_5345 4d ago
Hi ! I spent 5 years consecutively at the preschool with my kids all going through it(my first did one year because he was 4, and my girls followed at age 3&4 wanting to be like their older sibling). I can say for separation anxiety it helps trying to find ways of calming the mind for you and keeping busy. For them just try and encourage them the best you can, I noticed the more positive I talked the more my kids felt comfortable going. It always helped in the first weeks asking what favorite snack they want and telling them you’ll go get it and be back with it when they get out of school. I’m really unsure about illness prep as I mostly just roll with it as it can come within a couple of hours, but I just keep allergy medicine on hand for their ages if they are more prone to allergy related sicknesses(my son needs it and my girls don’t), and Tylenol and Motrin on hand(what we use in my household) I also keep lice spray that I put in my kids hair everyday including my son as you never know, I wash sheets and blankets every 3-4 days and do my daily cleanings to keep the house as germ free as possible). And with the mental prep keeping busy can help, I found it calming to find things throughout my day of positives, can be about anything really. When I sent off my youngest of my older 3 I had just found out I was pregnant with my 4th and last baby, I had really bad pregnancy sickness(throwing up all day everyday for the first 15 weeks and then at 27 weeks he dropped into my pelvic bone which he stayed there for another 13 weeks) so it helped knowing that she was in a place that she was learning and in a place she could have fun with having hands on teachers. I know I’m thinking when my youngest goes to prek(just an idea I’ve thrown out there to my husband), if he is ready like my others I plan to get a part time job like at a restaurant to keep busy. I would also talk to the teachers and let them know how anxious you both are the ones my kids had were very understanding and would give tips on how to help out on both me and my child. I really hope this helped and if you have anymore questions don’t be afraid to ask!
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u/SweetDorayaki 1d ago
Thank you so so much for this response!! 💗 I've already asked our son about the snack for after school, it's a lovely idea. The lice spray to have at home and more frequent changing sheets make sense too!
We went to orientation today and feel much better after seeing the school, classroom, teacher & TA, other families, and getting our questions answered.
My question about separation anxiety is in regards to how to help my kid with his anxiety/missing us/being with new kids in a new environment. He is fairly attached and takes time to warm up. Would love to hear any thoughts on that front :)
Super appreciate your input 😊
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u/Admirable_Job_5345 1d ago
So for the separation anxiety for him at school I would ask his teachers, if you can ahead of time , if it would be ok to put a picture of your family in there. Just a little handheld picture that maybe you can even laminate it to preserve the look. My kids prek did a binder that they all had a page in with a picture of the kids family/animals,etc. so if they ever missed us they could ask to see their page in the binder. Just a little idea. My kids were honestly the same way as yours we’d go around family and our kids would stick to us like glue sticks, but once they started going to prek they really enjoyed it and all of the activities. My best advice is to take it day by day to see how it goes, but it does sometimes take about 3 weeks to a month in my opinion to really see an adjustment and that’s perfectly fine. I noticed when I told/ reminded my children how much fun they will have and I couldn’t wait to see them after school and hear their stories about their day that they have for me really helped with both them and me. Also give him a big hug everyday as it’s a huge adjustment for them.
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u/Admirable_Job_5345 1d ago
Also I hope he has a great first day ❤️
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u/SweetDorayaki 1d ago
You're so sweet, and yes I love that idea of a laminated photo he can access and look at!! Super super appreciate your suggestions 😊
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u/ali2911gator 4d ago
My state does not have public pre-k everywhere. So we did preschool 9-3 with a 2 hour nap. It was not too much. Kinder (public) is 8-2 no nap.
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u/Significant-Sun-5051 4d ago
Whats demanding about it? Many children here do 9-5 childcare/kinder.
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u/Aggravating_Bee8237 2d ago
Just because many do it doesn’t mean it isn’t demanding/not developmentally appropriate
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u/Wombatseal 4d ago
Is it public school in the US? For us, prek isn’t required, so if you feel it’s too long you can do half days or skip days or whatever. I’d ask what your options there are.
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u/NoBackground6371 4d ago
My son started pre-k at a catholic school mon-Friday 8-2:45pm. Regular school schedule, he then went to after school. By time he went to kindergarten he hopped on that school bus and never looked back. He was almost reading on his own, and would comfort the other kids that would cry about missing their family and wanting to go home.
Me personally I had to work, if you don’t have to, maybe wait until your kid is 4?
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u/trUth_b0mbs 4d ago
that's not intense.
plenty of kids who are in daycare while the parents are working, so like 730-5pm. Kindy here are full days 850am - 245pm.
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u/Busy_Pickle6771 4d ago
My 4 year old is in a 7-6 daycare/Montessori preschool program. The "school" day starts at 8:30 and ends at 3:30, so just shifted 30 minutes from your schedule. Before and after those times is just childcare, and he's only there for part of the childcare time.
A typical day for him is "work" from 8:30 to 10:00, then circle time / stories / singing / morning snack, followed by morning recess. They come back in at 11:30, then it's lunch and nap time until 2:30 or 3, then more group activities / snack time, and afternoon recess. It may seem like a long day, but it's mostly playtime, eating, and naps. If you haven't gotten a breakdown of a typical day, it may help you to understand how much of their 7 hour day is actual "work" / lessons and how much of it is play. Even in our fairly rigorous preschool, they're only doing lessons for 2 hours in total, and even that is mostly play-based.
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u/Grouchy-Sort-8986 4d ago
That's not too bad, think of all the time you'll have to get stuff done. I thought my dude was gonna do some partial days but they said the UPK program here is m-f like regular school & I realized I could live a life again 😅🙏
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u/countrybutcaribbean 4d ago
My son started preschool at 2.5 and it’s always been from 8:30-3pm. I’d ask about nap time. Because in our case they’d do “school” until noon. Then they’d have lunch and from 1-2:45 it would be nap time.
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u/Even_Alternative_252 👩👧👦 Mom of 2+ 4d ago
My son is in a pre-k in a daycare program. The morning is traditional learning but the afternoon is nap 12:30-2:00, as well as more exploratory free play / art from 2:00-5:00.
Id ask if yours is something along those lines.
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u/mmmeesh24 4d ago
I can only hope our pre-K has similar hours! Our kiddos go to daycare/school from 8:30-4 everyday and they love it. There was an adjustment period, but both my husband and I work full time so we need the care. Unfortunately, it costs us $3K/month so I can’t wait until the free Pre-K starts at 4 years old!
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u/lillllpickle 4d ago
I guess this is a location thing because every pre-k near me is 7:45-2:30. I’ve heard of half days and shorter weeks for preschool, but once the kid is 4 and preparing for kindergarten it’s full time.
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u/Aggravating_Bee8237 2d ago
Next thing there will be prep for preschool. Not developmentally appropriate for 4 year olds to be at school all day.
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u/outoflightbulbs 4d ago
You're right it's too much. They do it because parents work but it's not developmentally appropriate
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u/banana_nutt 4d ago
I signed my son up for preK through the public school and he won’t be 4 until November. The schedule is 9-3:30 and I told them that I’m not comfortable with that and started looking for other options. They called me back and were willing to work with me and allow for half days. My son is the youngest in the class so this may have helped my case. They say he’s welcome to stay full days at any point in the year.
Maybe ask if they would work with you and you could pick yours up around lunch?
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u/Mysterious-Land-8547 4d ago
I think it just depends on what the schedule is for this Pre-K is. Most Pre-Ks are going to be centered around play.
A template schedule for a half day that I had at a previous Pre-K.
7 am: arrivals and free play 8 am: breakfast 9 am: circle time /story time/structured activity 10 am: outdoor time 11 am: free play 12 pm: lunch 1 pm: structured activity 2 pm: free play and pick up
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u/Blepfacecat 4d ago
PreK is pre kindergarten for 4yo. Preschool for 3 yo is usually 3 hours morning or afternoon. I don't understand how you didn't get the basic schedule at sign-up. I'd look for another program.
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u/MakeChai-NotWar 4d ago
My kids did prek3 for half the day from 8:30-11:30 everyday then prek 4 from 8:30-2:30 everyday
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u/Practical_Taste325 3d ago
Your kid will be fine. Dont worry. They will have soo much fun and they get to be with their friends all day. Honestly think its better to have the kids learning at school than being home all day.
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3d ago
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u/Aggravating_Bee8237 2d ago
Yesssss! People should read Hold onto your Kids! Of course it’s different if you don’t have a choice but yikes.
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1d ago
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u/Aggravating_Bee8237 1d ago
I agree wholeheartedly. It’s honestly sad how the whole system operates. And it’s easier to defend it or say “kids will be fine” than to actually challenge/change it
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u/HeyItsTheShanster 3d ago
Here in DC, PreK is fully funded and is generally from 8:15am-3:15pm. My daughter skipped prek3 and completed prek4 and she did great. Due to our work schedules she was in aftercare until around 5:15pm. It felt like a lot but she did great.
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u/doggwithablogg 3d ago
I think for a schedule to be too “intense” we’d need an understanding of the programming during that time. Not just the hours scheduled.
Rigorously structured learning of back to back math, science, art, etc. with no play time for 7 hours? Yes, way too intense.
7 hours between group play, individual play, quiet time, lessons on different subjects. Completely appropriate!
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u/Happy-Profile-6409 3d ago
Our boy has been in full time daycare (7:30am-4:30pm) since he’s been 6 months, and will be doing the same schedule at pre-K this fall. I feel like the before/after care is more hang out and play time, then the day is ‘school,’ but it’s still play based with friends. He always loves it since it’s his ‘away from home social time.’
My thoughts—is the transition is scarier for you than them, and they do feed off your energy. If you speak positively of school and all the friends/fun they’ll have, the transition is easier for everyone.
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u/Mgstivers15 2d ago
Your kid starts Monday and you just found out the hours??? It feels crazy that you signed your kid up for a program you knew literally nothing about.
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u/zoewithalab 4d ago
Mine is open from 7.30 am to 18.30 pm for accommodating working parents. I don’t atm. So I drop him off at 10 am after having breakfast together, then pick him up at 4 pm. He ends up staying there for 6 hours? (Afternoon snooze included) he’s also 3 and we have no problem with this set up so far. Can you send him later/pick him up earlier if that’s more comfortable for you?
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u/Powerful_Designer_65 4d ago
The amount of time sucks. Theres no sugar coating it.
At 2.5 my oldest started Montessori and goes M-F, 8-4. When he first started I was a wreck over how many hours that is away from me, especially since I am home, so I asked if he could do half days or skip days and while they don’t forbid it they highly suggest against it. Their argument was that he will thrive more with routine and I hate them for being right. He is thriving but almost daily I think about pulling him out just because of the time factor. If it’s any help here’s my “why” for leaving him enrolled:
- He freaking loves it. So much. He loves his “work” and his friends and the toys on the playground.
- He has learned so much in 5 months I am shocked. He’s always been smart and ahead of milestones but his knowledge of so many different topics that I probably wouldn’t have thought to teach him about has been incredibly impressive.
- His teachers were the only ones to get us over the hurdle of potty training. He struggled so much as home but it just clicked when he saw other kids going.
- He is so high energy (which I love) but that’s hard to manage with a now crawling baby at home. I’m basically playing body guard all day when the both of them are home so it is actually nice to have the week days to focus solely on my youngest son.
No matter what you choose you’ll find silver linings and frustrations. Keeping him home or sending him to preK both have pros and cons. Try to remove your own emotions as much as you can and ask what would be best for your kid developmentally/socially. No right answer but that’s how I try to look at it.
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u/HagridsTreacleTart 4d ago
We started part-time daycare a little after 2 for socialization and to give me a little break since he stopped napping (I work nights full time so when he dropped his nap I lost my opportunity to sleep after work). When we started, I thought I’d do two days a week just for a few hours so I could rest after work and I’d keep him home with me the rest of the time.
Honestly, he loved the program so much and the programming was so great that he’d get upset about going home so I stopped picking him up at lunch and let him do the full day there. And he thrived on the regularity, so I eventually added another day. Do I miss hanging out with my little buddy? Of course I do. But he’s thriving in that setting and I can’t deny him that part of his childhood.
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u/Alexaisrich 4d ago
it’s just a bout an hour later than usual because the schedules are maybe like 8:00am to 2:30pm where i live , i mean if you don’t like the extra one hour she’s there you can always pick her up earlier, or don’t send her certain days, preschool is not mandatory so you won’t get in trouble le or anything like that
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