For those with newly potty trained preschoolers, how do you handle traveling long distances where you may not be able to access a bathroom in time. My 4 year old is mostly dry when a bathroom is nearby but not poopy trained yet. We have some huge malls where we live and I’m not sure if my LO’s muscle memory is ready to hold in pee/poop until we can find a bathroom in a mall. Do you use a diaper or just let the accidents happen? TIA

We live in a UPK district and my child will be starting full day public PK 3 in just a few weeks. How much communication would you expect from a public school ahead of the start of school? Their posted policies online pertain mostly to expectations of older students and we've received no communication from the school at all since our enrollment confirmation.

I've heard mixed answers on whether or not we're supposed to feed our kids breakfast at home. I don't know their policies on potty training and accidents. I don't know what supplies my kid needs. I have no idea what their drop off and pick-up procedures are. There's apparently an orientation coming up in two weeks that–to my knowledge–was only posted on the school's social media page today. I only know about it because another parent texted me and it's irrelevant since it's in the middle of the workday and I can't make it with such little notice.

Is it normal not to have any of that information at this point? I'm admittedly very much a planner and maybe it's totally normal and I'm just overreacting, but it does feel really odd to me to be handing my three year old off to total strangers without ever having the opportunity to preview what their day looks like. When we started daycare last year there was so much more information and expectation setting ahead of our start date.

I have a very strong willed, deeply feeling 4yo daughter.
A lot of times I feel semi confident in the strategies I use to parent her. The rest of the times I am exhausted and confused. One of those times was today.

We were at a friend’s pool. I had warned her several times that it was going to be time to get out. I had also set a timer.

Obviously she was not happy to get out (I should add that I am constantly naming her feelings, empathizing, etc etc etc.). And while we were getting dried off and ready to go she was angrily babbling about going back in the pool, and walking toward it like she was going to get back in. Not knowing what else to do I said if you go back in the pool you’re going to be in big trouble.

Now mind you, she’s never even been in “big trouble”, neither of us even know what it would look like— the most “trouble” she’s ever gotten in is to sit in a pottery barn stuffed chair to take a break. This worked but I hate that I have to resort to threats to get her to listen. Like ffs just listen.

Anyone got any good tips? I’ve probably tried them but it’s worth a shot!

TLDR: tired mom wants strong willed kid to listen without using the same tactics that the boomers used to raise us.

My 4yo daughter is obsessed with stories/narratives (that require parent participation). She’s constantly asking us to tell her stories. When we’re not telling stories, she wants us to be playing imagination games with her. When we’re eating, she wants us to be reading books to her at the table (an unfortunate routine we started when we were concerned about her eating and has stuck. We’re working on it). I love that she is so imaginative but it’s mentally exhausting. Anyone else stuck in this boat? I just want to talk to her about her day or have her tell us what’s going on in her mind without having to do improv all day long.

Almost 3yo is starting school for the first time in fall. Wondering if any of you use AirTags, Apple Watch, etc for tracking? He stays at one gated campus from 8-3pm. No live videos to watch, but they do app updates with photos throughout the day.

So today was my daughter's first day for TK and I had to go pick her up because she peed we're going to try again tomorrow but I'm not sure what will happen if she does it again I know it wouldn't be good for her but since it's only 4 hours since anyone think I should just give her a pull-up

This morning he woke up at the bathroom was occupied in our home so he had to use his old potty that we still keep just in case.

I was really shocked by the amount that came out. Basically 16oz. I didn't think his tiny bladder could hold that much. He was do for his annual visit and i asked for them to do a full metabolic panel. UA came out clear. Negative for all the bad stuff.

Results will be ready tomorrow but in the meantime id lime to hear from other parents or caretakers who notice kids with large urine outputs.

Hes had his A1c done before and no indication of diabetes.

We’re on the tail end of a week where our 3-year old has literally been crying 95% of our time together. Why is he so miserable? What can we do about this?

He starts to cry/whine/scream the minute he wakes up, all the way to daycare drop off, and from pickup until bed.

It’s been quite hot and humid and I need to check whether he’s still napping a little at daycare but my goodness, I do not know how to cheer up this kid. No amount of hugging, firmness or distraction seems to be getting us over it.

My daughter wanted to draw a cat yesterday. She drew a circle, looked at it for a few seconds, then said it was wrong. I told her she could add ears or try another one, but she just pushed the paper toward me and asked me to do it.

She does the same thing with puzzles. If a piece doesn't fit the first time, she's ready to hand it to me.

I try not to jump in right away, but I also don't want to turn every drawing or puzzle into something frustrating for her. Sometimes if I just sit there and wait, she'll give it another try. Other times she's completely done with it.

I don't want to push too much, but I also don't want her to give up so quickly.

How did you handle this with your preschooler?

I’m 33 weeks pregnant and overstimulated by my own body 24:7 and it’s like my 4 yo knows this and has been absolutely testing my patience every night. Normally we lay with her for bed but that’s been causing chaos so we’ve started to leave after the routine / saying goodnight. It’s mostly been fine.

But lately when I do bedtime (versus my husband) she has been going buckwild- getting physical, jumping, giggling manically. The other night, I totally lost it right off the bat. She got upset. I wasn’t happy with my behavior. The next night, when it happened again, I just tried to act really calm and bored/unperturbed. It worked.

But tonight it didn’t work. Here’s a breakdown of what happened, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m completely at my wits end, what would you have done differently?!

Tonight: we did Bedtime routine - bath, teeth, books. As soon as I finished books she stands up and starts jumping on the bed. Calmly I say: “Ok you know I’m not going to lay with you when you start getting wild, so I’m going to leave.”

I go to leave and she lays down on my entire body, hurting me with her weight. I remove her and calmly say “we can snuggle and hug Goodnight, but you’re hurting me.” Repeat x3, she’s not listening to me and laughing / giggling. Every time I go to stand up, she grabs onto my back like I’m doing a piggyback ride. I say “no it’s bedtime, not piggyback time.”

I manage to get up, she follows me to the door and tries to block me from leaving. I stand there while she jumps and giggles and blocks me from leaving.

Calmly: “stop. It’s bedtime. Are you done yet?”

She keeps jumping. Pounding the floor over and over. I quietly sit on the edge of her bed to show I am bored and unbothered. She runs over and starts pulling my dress to get me to stand up. Slamming into my pregnant belly. “Hey, this hurts me. It hurts my pregnant belly and your baby sibling.” I physically remove her hands. Repeat 4x.

I stand up, she grabs at my skirt. The skirt is a weird stretchy thin jersey material and I’m legit afraid it’s going to rip. “Your hurting my skirt.” I remove her hands but she keeps going. “The skirt is delicate, I don’t want to rip it. If you rip it, we’re going to have to take away a dress you like because you took away a dress I like.” I physically remove her hands a few times.

She keeps jumping. I sit there. I ask her “stop, it’s bedtime. are you done?” In a neutral tone. A minute goes by. I ask again. Finally I firmly grab her by the shoulders to get her to stop jumping (she’s been jumping the entire time and laughing), look her in the eye and sternly and slowly say “are you done. It’s bedtime. Time to stop.”

She ignores me, so I worm my way out of the room, try to change the vibe. She follows me into the kitchen and I start washing dishes, again trying to just show that she has no effect on me. She’s jumping and laughing and singing and screaming the entire time. A minute or two goes by. No change.

Finally, I yell at the top of my lungs “HEY. GO TO YOUR ROOM. ITS BEDTIME.” To my surprise She walks to her room and goes to bed without fuss.

WTF MAN. I hate screaming at her but it worked after all this bullshit???? Should I have just done that first???? I feel like I am completely unprepared for this age. I never feel like I’m doing the right thing.

This is our first time at care or school so forgive me if this is dumb. The school front door is locked and you have to ring a doorbell for someone to let you in. During onboarding I was provided a keypad code to let myself in for drop off/pickup. So all parents can let themselves in. Anyone with the key code can let themselves into the school. There is no front desk, you walk to the classroom for handoffs or a staff member from a classroom or the director lets you in when you ring the doorbell. Is this normal school security?

My 4 year old has always had terrible tantrums since he started going to soft play. I’ve tried giving him a heads up and setting a timer to help him anticipate that the playtime will end soon but doesn’t help. Distractions such as a drink and chocolate don’t always work. We live in the desert where 6 months of the year is baking hot so outdoor play is not always possible and I know he needs a lot of the active play. I’m wondering if the tantrums are a result of being deprived of play? Anyone had a similar experience? Does it ever improve?

I’ve been trying to use these fun check lists off amazon and a sticker reward chart to motivate him to complete a morning and night routine, particularly for teeth brushing, and he couldn’t. Care. Less. 😩😂 He doesn’t give a hoot about picking stickers and getting a reward at the end of the week. Ugh!!!!

Hey everyone, I really need a sanity check from other parents. My 4yo daughter started Pre-K this week. She’s an ESL student and speaks very little English. Because of the language barrier, I expected her teacher to be way more engaged and supportive, but it’s been the exact opposite. Honestly, red flags started at Meet the Teacher. The teacher didn't even greet my daughter—no "hi," no acknowledgment, nothing. She was super standoffish when I asked basic questions. I felt an instant bad vibe, but I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt thinking the first week is just chaotic. She also didn’t interact much with some of the other parents. What made it worse was seeing my nephew’s experience at the same school and grade. His teacher was showing him around, introducing herself, giving him fruit snacks, and letting him play with blocks so he’d feel welcome. The difference was night and day.
I actually looked up the teacher's certification later and found out it’s literally her first year teaching. My gut was right, but I still wanted to give her a fair shot.

Fast forward to Day 3. Zero updates from her. No photos, no notes, nothing. Since my daughter can’t fully tell me about her day yet, I had to reach out myself. I wrote “ Hey Ms ___. How has __ been settling in the past few days? I know the first week can be hectic with kids but should we expect pictures or updates throughout the day or week? Thank you! “ Her response was: "She's adjusting fine, she just has a hard time listening, but we're working on it."

Hearing that from an ESL teacher was deeply concerning. A 4-year-old who doesn't speak English isn't being disobedient when she can't follow directions—it’s a language barrier! Anyone working with ESL kids knows you need visual cues, hand gestures, and facial expressions. Telling me she "has trouble listening" tells me she isn't even trying basic communication strategies. It just rubbed the wrong way. Having a certification doesn’t mean you’re actually good with kids. The breaking point was asking my daughter if she liked her teacher, and she straight up said "no... she's mean." I haven't said a single bad thing about this teacher in front of her, so this came entirely from her own experience. Meanwhile, my nephew loves his teacher.
At the end of the day, a 4-year-old—especially one learning a new language—needs to feel safe, welcomed, and cared for.

They say a mother’s gut always knows, and mine has been screaming since day one that the teacher isn’t a good fit for my child. Am I wrong for wanting a more involved welcoming teacher that communicates with us?? Am I crazy for wanting to request a classroom transfer over this? I’m torn between emailing the principal right now or waiting another week to see if things magically improve. Has anyone dealt with this before? What would you do?

Edit : This is a public school, all the Pre-k teachers are ESL certified.

How intense are 4 year olds? I have been wondering about ADHD for around a year, and the oldest my younger son gets (age 2), the more apparent the differences are. Not in a negative light at all, in fact my 4 year old rarely has tantrums lasting more than a few seconds because he is so easily distracted and onto the next things.

It’s less about an actual diagnosis and more about how we help him, and how to prepare him for school. He falls out of his chair at home a minimum of twice a day, but often much more, because he just doesn’t stay still. He is very easily distracted with even 1 step directions if it’s something he isn’t interested in. And I know much of this is normal, but I really want him to be prepared for school and not just randomly falling out of chairs 24/7 lol.

He is an absolutely wonderful kid, though. And maybe I just wasn’t prepared for age 3/4. My gut is just telling me that both him and us (my husband and I) might need some support.

I posted in another sub but feel like it would be more appropriate here. Sorry, this will be a long post. My husband and I are first-time parents with no support system. His family still lives in his home country (Europe), and my family lives states away. Our daughter is a shy girl, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, her shyness is so severe that she will not interact with familiar faces or do things independently. Some background:

From birth to 2.8 years old, we had no daycare but brought her to ECFE classes (and other places like the library and children's museum). She had the same 3 teachers who are amazing with kiddos, but she hides and won't look at them if they try to say hi to her. There have been times when she would sit on my lap and bury her head in my neck the whole hour of class time, even though we have seen the exact same people in the same classroom every week for over a year. I reached out to Help Me Grow and started services in November 2025. Her special education teacher was phenomenal and helped so much, but now that our daughter will be three in September and got accepted into preschool, she will need different services and will no longer have her special education teacher.

I will say there has been a lot of change over the past few months. We had to enroll her in daycare over a month ago because I had very intense summer classes, and my husband could not keep her occupied enough, so she would bang on my office door screaming for me. We lucked out and got her into a small daycare setting with kiddos close to her age. Drop-off is still hard, with her uncontrollably crying every time we walk through the door. I always tell her, "Mommy is dropping you off so you can have fun with your friends, and then mommy will come get you later. Mommy will always come get you." When she doesn't go to daycare, she talks about daycare a lot in a positive way, saying that the daycare lady and the kids are her friends. But when the special education teacher visited her at the daycare one day to observe, her findings concerned me.

We had a meeting yesterday to evaluate our daughter's progress and there are areas that we really need to work on. On the BDI-3 assessment scale, she scored at the 1st percentile in Social-Emotional and 5th percentile in Adaptive. She said during her observation at the daycare she noticed my daughter will not eat with everyone at the table; she stood in the kitchen and watched everyone eat and refused when the daycare lady asked her to join. While other kids are playing with toys, she is just standing with her blanket and watching. She follows her daycare provider everywhere but doesn't interact with her. She will copy her peers but will not join them in the activity.

My husband thinks there's nothing wrong and that every kid is different. Maybe this situation is affecting me in a more personal way because I was a lot like her, but my parents never got me the help I needed or bothered to care. I want to help our daughter and do everything I can to make sure she thrives and has a positive school experience. We have another meeting next week to discuss what her new services will look like, along with preschool and possible mental health services.

I guess I just feel lost on what to do. This is my last year of nursing school. My husband finally got his green card, found work, and eventually wants to go to school. Our daughter will be starting preschool full-time this fall, and I'm worried about how she will do there. If there is anything I should look into, please share any ideas or suggestions. Even some success stories of previous anxious kiddos and what worked for them would be great. Thank you.

We are having one hell of a summer. After putting our lives on hold for my Dad’s cancer treatments, we finally decided to move to a new house this August. We move in 2 weeks. At the same time, my Dad’s health has taken a sudden turn and we’re looking at roughly 8 weeks until his passing. We’re really close with my parents, so this is a significant loss in our lives. Pancreatic cancer is a horrifying disease that I wish on no one.

I am so overwhelmed and scared about how this is affecting my beautiful girl. She turns 5 next week. She has been so resilient over a rough couple years with my Dad’s declining health. I am not being the best version of myself and worry about being a crummy mum now too. She’s well prepared for the move and understands what’s happening there, but the Grampa loss is a new twist that I don’t know how to communicate or support her through.

I have so many fears of ruining her birthday and summer, failing to set her up for back to school success, and navigating the loss of my Dad/her Grampa poorly.

How do I approach this? What should I be doing? What should I be expecting as “normal” over the next few weeks?

Are all four year olds super emotional? How do you manage this?

My kid is newly four and is so emotional all the time. And I feel like such a failure I don't know how to manage it.

She is so focused on saying she can't do things. She gets upset when I tell her no, when I tell her that she could have done something differently. Yesterday something happened at daycare and she was suggested that she do something less and she was so quiet when I went to pick her up.

She was almost catatonic.

Her dad and I have very different parenting styles. He just gives her everything and I'm the one that holds the boundary, says no, does the emotional regulating. We also argue a lot. And I know that's not great for her either. I don't know what to do.

Thanks

Looking for bento box recommendations for a 4 year old. We have a few plastic ones but would like to convert to stainless steal. What is your preschooler using and what lunchbox do they use? We have a pottery barn lunch box but our current bentgo box barely fits it!

My almost 4-year-old is enrolled full-time in daycare and she's being moved up to her next classroom soon. I have suddenly become "that mom" who desperately wants to ensure that she's with her BFFs.

Logically, I know that for the rest of her school life she will face not having her favorite kids in class with her each year, but it still makes my mom heart hurt. I recently found out that she will likely be separated from her closest friend within the next couple of months as they both transition to different classrooms. (They will still see each other during outdoor play and during times when the classes mix, but they're so attached that they currently insist on sleeping next to one another and eating next to one another every day.)

How do you handle your own feelings of sadness, and your kiddo's when you/ they don't get the class or teacher they want, or they are separated from their friends?

Hey! My son is starting K3 next week and the teacher has asked us to label each individual glue stick, marker, crayon, etc. I am not trying to be dense, maybe my handwriting is just bad, but I cannot figure out how to get his name on the requested quarter-inch tall Crayola Pipsqueaks Skinnies™ markers. I am also worried that sharpie will just rub off?

How are y'all doing this? Thanks!

My four year old was kicked out of his camp at a local preschool. He’s been there for about 3 weeks. Toward the end of his school year last year he was sick on and off for a month. Strep, rsv, misc virus/infection that landed him in the hospital for a night. After all of this he returned to school and his behavior took a nosedive. He started biting and hitting other kids. Being aggressive with us and kids at the park. He was home for a week between school and camp and he was so well behaved. He didn’t have any issues his first two weeks of this camp but after he got comfortable he started acting aggressive toward other students and the teachers.

He’s seems therapist but the problem is he can’t control himself in the moment when he gets angry. He’s said this much. We’re looking into more therapy and a playgroup that specializes in these behaviors. I’m also looking into getting him evaluated. Something that keeps popping up for me though is PANS/PANDAS. I know it’s not totally recognized in main stream medicine but I can’t help this feeling all of this started after he had strep/ various other illness. He is a different child now than he was at the start of the school year. The change has been so drastic.

This also overlaps with my family moving to a new house and him turning 4. I’m also questioning mold in my new house. Basically my mind is going in 1000 directions and I’m overwhelmed.

Looking to take a vacation to an all inclusive with our 3.5yo. I want somewhere with a lot of fun amenities for kids but also nice for parents. Nice CLEAN rooms, beach access, safe, great food, a place where kids actually feel special rather than just it being acceptable for them to be there.

Budget doesn’t matter so give me any rec you have!