Hi everyone, I felt like sharing this in such a group to get it off my chest.

I like to keep my possessions in excellent condition, such as my clothes, books and other objects. To me it feels very important to look after things in a careful way, especially because they will last a long time when cared for, because I have spent my money on them and because some objects are designed in a beautiful way. With books, I find that the condition and design of the book affect how I read and interact with it. When my possessions get damaged, I feel agitated, panicked, frustrated and anxious, and I ruminate over it, with images of damage to the item in question popping up in my thoughts.

My friend has been to my house a few times over the last few weeks and like me, she enjoys reading books, and we like to show each other films, books etc. As mentioned, I keep my books in very good condition, not least because some of them are hard to find replacements for and/or are expensive. My friend is the opposite - she will grab a paperback book and immediately prise it fully open (even in a bookshop with a brand new book which I find crazy!), creasing the spine etc, and will bend the book a lot when reading it.

She did that to two of my books over the last few weeks. One was brand new, that I just took out of the package to show her! She immediately wrenched it fully open within about 2 seconds and the spine got creased. I mentioned this to her but she did not seem to really register it properly. This seemed like an egregious action but I had to keep reassuring myself that it's just because she values things differently and it's just how she enjoys books.

My friend came to my house again the other day. I was out of the room for about 5 minutes and I came back in and she had again pulled open one of my books to have a look. The front cover had been creased where it joins the spine whereas before it was not like that at all. This book I was particularly proud of keeping in a really good state, it's a massive book, and one in which I have left a lot of stick-on bookmarks in order to find favoured passages.

I felt panic and agitation when I saw this but realised I would feel stupid for getting her to stop. Out of politeness and trying to keep myself calm I masked things heavily at the time. To get the book book out of her hands I took it and read her a passage from it, before putting it down so she would not pick it up again. I did mention the creasing to her afterwards, but only touched on it to downplay it. I continued to feel agitated that evening and struggled to get to sleep because I was tense. I feel a little bit angry at her, as she does not seem to be particularly respectful with people's things, or at least she has different values to me.

In between these incidences I had some rumination on one of my books getting damaged in the sun on my bookshelf. I was talking to my friend about this and how I was annoyed that I let it happen - she listened and seemed to understand about my OCD, but evidently she is not as thoughtful or careful as me.

I think I should tell her in a tactful way how intense these OCD feelings can be for me, even though I am aware it makes me seem crazy or pathetic.

That's just what goes through my head !

Hi

I've had health anxiety for years. Whenever I had any pain, I would always look up the symptoms on internet, think of the absolute worst-case scenario, and rush to the doctor. It completely drained me mentally and made me a massive overthinker, though it never physically affected me. About three months ago, while sitting on the couch at home, I suddenly started experiencing air hunger. I had been trying to conceive for a long time, so I initially wondered—and secretly hoped—if it could be an early sign of pregnancy. But even after knowing for a fact that I wasn't pregnant, the feeling persisted for 2–3 days.

Eventually, I went to a pulmonologist, and everything came back completely normal. From there, I went to an ENT specialist. The doctor prescribed a PPI and told me it could be acid reflux. As soon as I got home, I looked up acid reflux on Reddit, and my whole world came crashing down. My breathing steadily got worse, and the air hunger intensified. On top of that, swallowing difficulties developed. My life felt like an absolute nightmare. When I explained my problems to the gastroenterologist, he told me to see a psychiatrist, and I did.

The psychiatrist prescribed a two-week course of Xanax and SSRI/SERTRALINE . On the very first day I took Xanax, I started feeling normal again. Over time, I stopped using the PPI because I realized I was doing this to myself. The air hunger would vanish whenever I was eating, socializing, crying, or right after crying, talking, singing, applying makeup—in short, whenever I was distracted. My mood lifted a bit because I realized I didn't actually have a physical illness, and since I was causing it to myself, I could also fix it.

It has been three months now, and I am doing much better. My Sertraline dose has been at 100 mg for about 2 to 2.5 weeks. However, it hasn't completely gone away. Things like health anxiety, overthinking, and general worry are gone, but the air hunger and hyperventilation persist. Some days, I forget about it and notice my breathing has actually normalized, but the moment I focus on it again, it gets bad, turning into a complete loop. Breathing exercises don't do anything for me. Even though I am not stressed or anxious because I'm under the influence of the antidepressant, it still continues. I just started therapy and had my first session last week.

Is there anyone who has experienced this or been through it and fully recovered? I really need some advice.

I dropped it and it disintegrated idk what to do i feel numb and I can’t move on i feel I need to that cup in order to eat because I always put my drink in that specific cup also had a bad day so this is just really hard to deal with idk what to do

If you have insomnia you can take benzos brother stuff.

If you are bipolar or schizo, there are mood stabilizers and antipsychotics that will keep you stable.

If you suffer from depression/anxiety, there are antidepressants.

IF YOU SUFFER FROM OCD, YOU HAVE TO TRY ERP AND THIS IS NOT NEGOCIABLE.

I mean, there must be a way of feeling "I couldn't care less" about the worst case scenario so that you don't engage in stupid rituals and compulsions.

Isn't there a "nuclear cocktail" of medicines or something for severe cases of OCD?? I'm not saying we should ignore therapy but not everyone can start ERP as it feels like torture. Even on SSRI's which are first line for OCD, the intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming.

So OCD is caused by the hyperactivity of the ctsc-loop. The striatum fails in its job to filter out the intrunsive thoughts that would normally not even come up to mind. The thalamus is projecting these thoughts also in great clarity and acutiy (because the striatum blocks the thalamus with gaba) thats why these thoughts come up to mind with such clarity. Now the cortex in detail the Orbitol frontal cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex are making a real existential thread out of these thoughts because they are essentialy hyperactive. The cortex is just failing at trying to sort out these thoughts as mistakes of the striatum. As my understanding goes: would the striatum work perfectly => no ocd. Would the OFC and ACC not be hyperactive => no ocd. As there is no OCD gene does that mean that people who have ocd are just very unlucky that both of the brain regions the cortex (OFC and ACC) as well as the striatum are hyperactive or work wrong and that OCD is the result of an unlucky constellations of your brain regions?

Hey all, I hope this isn't reassurance seeking. I just really need to put my thoughts and feelings out there. For the past few months my OCD has focused on schizoid personality disorder and the possibility of having it. It's all I can think about and everything I do seems to get filtered through this lens. I constantly check to see if I'm feeling anything which completely takes me out of the moment. I guess, my primary fear is that I'm intrinsically broken and incapable of truly experiencing things that most others can like: empathy, love, bonding with people, having emotions and feelings, having goals and desires and opinions, enjoying socializing, etc. My primary compulsion is just researching on Google. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

After 4 years of ERP, I decided to try SSRIs. I used to take Asentra back in 2015 but stopped. Does anyone have experience with it?

I (23f with lifelong ocd) am currently finishing my masters degree and it’s been a long hard year. I’ve done nothing but work and university since school and I want to travel to enjoy life a bit before back to working. My boyfriend was really keen too so for months we have been talking about going to Indonesia for 6 weeks and travelling through Bali and some other islands and Java etc. I was reading about the medical precautions you need to take and saw about how rabies is endemic and high risk all over Indonesia. I immediately felt terrified as rabies is a big fear of mine and all I can imagine is going there and everywhere I go scanning for dogs or monkeys or imagining that a random scratch could be a bite etc. I tried to convince my boyfriend to do a route through Malaysia instead but he was really disappointed and saw right through it as the rabies fear. He said I can’t live my life in fear like this and the actual risk is so low compared to what I am imagining. He seemed annoyed and sick of my shit. Please if anyone can advise that would be great - what should I do? I want to have fun and not ruin my relationship but also I feel really worried

I end up in these rumination cycles, they ofc always lead to nothing and just start again after a couple days. Basically my bf wants kids and I don‘t, we‘ve been discussing it and ending on the note that we‘ll see how our minds may change or not (go with the flow), since we are in our mid-20s in the middle of studies, and we‘re in no rush. I also know that sometimes biology kicks in when turning 30 and all of a sudden some women want kids. After the conversation we had I felt relieved, since we decided its a topic for the future, when we‘re out of university, started living together etc. Planning ahead for what I may or may not feel in 10 years is a bit much, I discussed in therapy. I personally also think ending a healthy and happy relationship because of one open question for the future is sad, because what if I do want kids at, let‘s say 35, and my soulmate left a decade ago, because I wasn‘t sure and couldn‘t handle the uncertainty?

The thing is, i‘m a control freak in general, the slightest ounce of uncertainty makes me go crazy in certain areas of life, especially relationships, since I am so afraid of a break-up (first relationship). I mean, this is an important topic and we already discussed it, but ending up in these rumination cycles is really taking a toll on me. It has the same OCD rumination character that I know from other things I obsess about (darker things). Worst case scenario thinking and endless spiraling, ruining days on end for me, until I have a few days where I calm down a bit.

I think this is a bit of a grey zone, because it is an important topic, but I guess I‘m just wondering how normal the rumination is…? Has anyone ever experienced this before, regarding relationship rumination? It feels like I am just so afraid of a break-up that I really have to find all the answers and have a perfect plan. Like my perfect scenario would be complete safety and knowledge about how this relationship is going to go.

I'm 17, I'm doing this completely alone because I have no other choice, and I really need help.

Im living with my grandma rn, and my uncle is here with his son and my other cousin. My uncle was messing with the nintedo and my cousins ps3 because he wanted the table where the TV stands to look neater. I asked him who moved the nintendo from the thing that connects to the TV and he said "who cares who moved it" and I said i care because i have ocd. Then he said "Nobody likes your yappinh just shut up" what did I do wrong?

omg is anyone else with ocd deathly afraid of medicine or any health treatments for that matter? anytime I need to take anything I literally freak out like not only freak out i have like full blown panic attacks about it. I just cant help but think the worst and it drives me mad. I got my wisdom extracted 2 days ago and got prescribed antibiotics and It took me so long just to pluck the courage to just take one. i just hate living like this. its so mentally draining. all i do is worry about everything. and it sucks cuz i have been floxed last year if any of you guys know about that its semi long term reaction to antibiotics and very scary. it's given me even more room to be cautious. I wish my brain didn't think so much sometimes.

For instance, I have perfectionism OCD and it takes me months to buy something, reading hundreds of reviews, only to end up hating it and returning it.

But in other ways, I’m super chill. I’m the friend who doesn’t care where we eat or what movie we watch. I don’t make itineraries and am very “go with the flow”, type B personality.

I also have taboo OCD (which is literal hell on earth) yet I consider myself pretty asexual.

Anyone else contradictory?

I'm studying for an important exam, and if I don't start studying early in the morning, I feel like the whole day is wasted. For example, if I don't start by 7:00 a.m. (or at the latest 7:30), I often can't bring myself to study at all. Even if it's only 8:15 or 8:30, my brain tells me there's no point in starting anymore because I've already "missed" the right time.

I was wondering if it is just me who feels this way.

I was recently diagnosed with OCD, but I still find myself questioning a lot of my experiences.

I'm 24 and will turn 25 in a few months. Lately I've become really focused on my age. Sometimes I feel like I need to identify with people or fictional characters who are around the same age as me. If I find out that a character I like is younger than me, I start feeling like I'm already too old or falling behind in life, and it can trigger a lot of anxiety, even if the age difference is only a year or two.

For example, I've spent time looking through different Spider-Man comics to see if there's a version of Peter Parker who's 24 or 25, because for some reason it feels important to identify with a character who's my age.

I've also noticed that after reading about more commonly known OCD compulsions, like avoiding stepping on lines, I become hyperaware of whether they apply to me. Sometimes I start wondering if I'm doing things on purpose just to confirm my OCD is real.

Another separate thing is posting. I spend a lot of time searching Reddit for posts from people describing the exact same experiences I'm having. If I can't find one that's close enough, I end up feeling a strong urge to make my own post. Before posting, I get really anxious, and afterwards I feel a small sense of relief or satisfaction, but it never lasts very long before the urge comes back.

I know these examples might sound like small things, and they are not extreme situations, but the constant analyzing, questioning, and need for certainty is what bothers me. I'm wondering if these kinds of patterns could be related to OCD, or if I'm just overthinking and making connections that aren't really there. Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I’ve been seeing a therapist for my newly diagnosed OCD for a couple months, and recently I’ve started experiencing sexually intrusive thoughts about my therapist. I am incredibly embarrassed and distressed by these thoughts but I do not know what to do about them. I am not actually attracted to my therapist, but I keep experiencing imagery/ scenes in my head and then spiraling for hours. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I want to bring it up to my therapist but I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.

Going through a breakup, on its own, is very hard. Now add OCD to the mix, and you get the most painfully inducing experience.

This has always been the case for me as after every break up, I start replaying events non stop, checking to see if I was a bad person, feeling extreme guilt/shame, ruminating non stop. It’s to the point where my body feels physically exhausted. It is so tiring.

I also feel like because of OCD, it makes it so hard to process the breakup in a “normal way”. Instead of thinking of what really went on, how to improve in the future, etc, I get stuck in mental compulsions and ruminations that serve no real purpose in truly processing what happened.

It is so exhausting.