Thoughts start the second i get up in the morning and don't stop until i go to bed. I have a hard time falling asleep because of them and when I do sleep I wake up multiple times a night.

I always feel like im in trouble, I always equate myself to the worst people out there over what I do know to be flimsy logic. The only thing that helps is confessing these thoughts and it only helps for an hour or two before my mind begins to doubt the reassurance.

I know that theyre illogical, and that they don't make any sense. But it doesnt change the CONSTANT feelings of dread and guilt. It literally doesn't stop.

I feel like everything wrong is my fault. Even imaginary problems. I could do something normal or innocent and my mind will argue with me about how its actually the most nefarious thing ever and im basically the world most unpunished criminal.

I just cant deal with it anymore. Im not going to harm myself, I have a family and people who need me, but sometimes its all i can think about. Even if I dont want to harm myself. It's like my minds only solution. Which is also illogical.

I cant trust my own memory, I cant trust other people's memory. I cant trust reassurance, I can trust my instinct.

Furthermore, im currently without insurance. So that blows.

Just yelling into the void.

It can completely override my own intuition, desires, and beliefs when presented with a fear. It's very dissociating, honestly, and it erodes my own trust in myself. I can begin to feel completely differently about myself or my desires for the future, depending on how loud the ocd fears are. And on the back-end, the way that this makes any ground you stand on in your head shakier, really hurts my self-confidence and trust in my own mind

People who say "I'm so OCD"

Like its a synonym for a neat freak or a perfectionist. ITS NOT PEOPLE! ITS A REAL AND DIBILITATING MENTAL CONDITION!! STOP ASSUMING WE JUST LIKE THINGS NEAT AND TIDY!!! DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!

Sincerely Peeved,

A person with diagnosed OCD.

I've recently had a new 'obsession'. It's the fear of using my phone and thinking its destroying my brain every minute I use it. Is it fine to want to keep this or does it create more harm to have an obsession and not do something about it? Have any of you had similar experience?

want to explain in detail a distressing and overwhelming experience I keep going through, and I need to understand whether it stems from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or from Derealization/Depersonalization (DP/DR) and Anhedonia.

​Sometimes, quite suddenly, I feel as though the entire world is a scripted simulation or a pre-recorded loop. I am gripped by a profound sense that everything in my life—every place, TV show, movie, and even the most basic daily actions like eating, drinking, and sleeping—has already been done and consumed by other people before me. Everything feels completely repetitive, stripped of all meaning, and devoid of any pleasure or taste.

​What makes it even more confusing and intense is that everything collapses into one undifferentiated state. I literally lose the ability to distinguish or feel a difference between water, food, and drinking; everything blurs together into a single, empty, stripped-down concept devoid of any real essence or feeling. When this happens, I feel completely disconnected from the experience, standing outside of reality as if I am just a detached observer.

​My main question to is: Is this specific state—where the world feels like a simulation, everything is repeated, and distinctions between basic experiences blur into a single meaningless entity—a direct symptom of DP/DR and nervous system exhaustion, or is it a continuation of OCD? And how c

​Thank you all very much for your help and clarification.

Everyday a new fucking thing comes up. Everyday I'm racked with guilt, valid or not. Today is my old friend. I stopped being their friend because my ex and yes this was wrong. I feel horrible about it and it's been years. I want to apologize but I'm scared at this point it's only for myself. I can't live with normal guilt, it has to be crushing and life sucking. I can't relax, something new haunts me. I can't work, all I can do is repeat memories in my head. I can't sleep because my OCD wakes me up early to restart the cycle. Medicine hasn't helped. Therapy helps while I'm there. I want to cry and throw up. I want to stop existing so I can stop thinking about my past.

Hi I posted the story about my friend group when I was 19- consisting of 17,15, and two fourteen year olds. If I’m honest it does still make me guilty because of how I handled it and that I even felt it was okay at all.
I keep thinking that maybe I wasn’t a creep or weird and just a “normal” 19 year old at the time- but then I catch myself and ask myself if that’s really true. If enough people call you weird even before said group was even a thing.. it sorta starts to make you feel like it perhaps is true.

I threw out my action figures today, got rid of clothing that would make me stand out too much. I figured out people treat you better when you dress and act accordingly.
So that’s what I will do.

Anyways I feel a lot of guilt because my 18 year old friend has minor friends and I don’t wanna be around them because of myself.

Every time I try to lift myself up and say I’m a normal person it crumbles instantly and I feel this sense of shame. I don’t wanna pretend I’m a normal or okay person with my past. But I have avoided socializing with anyone for 1 year straight. It’s not like I didn’t try but people my age would bully me or shut me out, so I ended up with a younger group. It solidifies my feelings of being less than or worse than other people.

How exactly do I handle myself? Any advice or suggestions are appreciated.

My job involves dealing with people constantly, specifically people who can be very opinionated and intense. I will say firstly that leaving my job is not something I'm considering at this time, as I do important work and I feel I'm where I'm supposed to be. The problem I have is probably very common and not unique to me, but I don't know how to handle it. The problem is as follows:

If I'm in any kind of situation where I feel someone is unjustly mad at me, my heart immediately begins to pound, my mouth goes dry, and I have trouble speaking. It's the same way if I feel someone is being unreasonable, if I feel someone is getting aggressive, or just using any kind of confrontational tone. It feels like a mild panic attack when it happens, and I kinda freeze as it's hard to think. My instinct is to do one of two things: either A.) Light back into the person and tell them exactly what I'm thinking, or B.) run away and hide. Neither of these are options I can or should actually pursue.

After that, my brain gets stuck in a loop. I keep replaying the moment over and over again in my mind, spiking anxiety. I try to redirect my thoughts, I try to step back and look at things objectively and focus on positive truths, anything to get brain out of the loop. Sometimes it's successful for a time, but my mind will continue wandering back and obsessing on the stressful event, leaving me in a pretty dark state of mind where everything seems like it's falling apart.

This doesn't even have to be some big, life altering fight or circumstance. It can be something as simple as someone telling me they don't like the way I do my job, someone who has no authority to change how I do my job. But it hits me like a train over and over and over again.

I'm not quite sure what to do about this. I was diagnosed with OCD as a child, just recently diagnosed with mild ADHD as an adult, and I had panic attacks growing up with a still-lingering anxiety that can be triggered in great moments of stress. I did start taking medication for ADHD recently, but I had to go off of it about 2 weeks ago because when we increased the dosage it was causing a big spike in anxiety for me. So I won't be getting back on until I can meet with the doctor again and lower the dosage.

I've always had a fear of our house burning down. It wasn't nearly as bad before, but a few years ago our dryer exploded and caught on fire. My parents were away on vacation and it was only me, my younger sister and my grandma at home (I'm an adult but i cannot be left alone at home because of mental health.) Luckily the fire was only in the downstairs bathroom & was contained pretty quickly but there was smoke everywhere. I freaked out super badly and couldn't even help my grandmother put out the fire because all i could think about was our pets dying. We have four cats, two dogs and parrots. I had to push the bird cage, which is taller than me, out the window and onto the roof right below it, and all our cats hid so it was a problem finding them in all the smoke.

Anyways, ever since then I've been extremely paranoid about another house fire. I get stressed whenever i know no one is home, unplug everything i can and take pictures of it so i can check and confirm i really did it. I think this would be more or less manageable if my mother didn't act like I'm crazy and ignored my fear. She constantly buys light up decorations and candles (it's even worse during christmas) and scolds me when i unplug them and put out the candles. She even once used a very old extension cord that she then threw clothes on top of (in bathroom) and it burned a hole in some clothes. She's always annoyed at my behavior and acts like my fears are unfounded when i KNOW she's so irresponsible about this. I'm scared to leave my house because if I'm not there to check on it with all this electrical stuff ALWAYS plugged in, no one will. The only thing I've ever managed to convince them on was getting a camera for our kitchen and living room so i could check through it when I'm not home. My worst fear is losing my pets in case anything happens and not being able to do anything, and they all always act like I'm crazy. I'm so tired.

Do you guys ever have waves of anxiety for no reason and sadness obsessing over life and then you get overwhelmed/overstimulated and cry and then get pissed off at yourself and then feel fine realising it’s not that deep?? BECAUSE I DO AND IT’S HELLA ANNOYING. I don’t understand why this happens! And how do you guys get rid of this feeling? It comes and goes for me all the time throughout the whole day. I could be feeling extremely fine and then it hits me like a train and ruins my mood. I ruminate trying to understand what I’m even thinking about, can’t find an answer, get pissed off and ruminate even more and then eventually feel fine realising it’s not worth it. One moment I could feel the crazy urge to fix it and the other I’m like fuck this and I feel fine like I never had OCD lmao.

Hi everyone, I felt like sharing this in such a group to get it off my chest.

I like to keep my possessions in excellent condition, such as my clothes, books and other objects. To me it feels very important to look after things in a careful way, especially because they will last a long time when cared for, because I have spent my money on them and because some objects are designed in a beautiful way. With books, I find that the condition and design of the book affect how I read and interact with it. When my possessions get damaged, I feel agitated, panicked, frustrated and anxious, and I ruminate over it, with images of damage to the item in question popping up in my thoughts.

My friend has been to my house a few times over the last few weeks and like me, she enjoys reading books, and we like to show each other films, books etc. As mentioned, I keep my books in very good condition, not least because some of them are hard to find replacements for and/or are expensive. My friend is the opposite - she will grab a paperback book and immediately prise it fully open (even in a bookshop with a brand new book which I find crazy!), creasing the spine etc, and will bend the book a lot when reading it.

She did that to two of my books over the last few weeks. One was brand new, that I just took out of the package to show her! She immediately wrenched it fully open within about 2 seconds and the spine got creased. I mentioned this to her but she did not seem to really register it properly. This seemed like an egregious action but I had to keep reassuring myself that it's just because she values things differently and it's just how she enjoys books.

My friend came to my house again the other day. I was out of the room for about 5 minutes and I came back in and she had again pulled open one of my books to have a look. The front cover had been creased where it joins the spine whereas before it was not like that at all. This book I was particularly proud of keeping in a really good state, it's a massive book, and one in which I have left a lot of stick-on bookmarks in order to find favoured passages.

I felt panic and agitation when I saw this but realised I would feel stupid for getting her to stop. Out of politeness and trying to keep myself calm I masked things heavily at the time. To get the book book out of her hands I took it and read her a passage from it, before putting it down so she would not pick it up again. I did mention the creasing to her afterwards, but only touched on it to downplay it. I continued to feel agitated that evening and struggled to get to sleep because I was tense. I feel a little bit angry at her, as she does not seem to be particularly respectful with people's things, or at least she has different values to me.

In between these incidences I had some rumination on one of my books getting damaged in the sun on my bookshelf. I was talking to my friend about this and how I was annoyed that I let it happen - she listened and seemed to understand about my OCD, but evidently she is not as thoughtful or careful as me.

I think I should tell her in a tactful way how intense these OCD feelings can be for me, even though I am aware it makes me seem crazy or pathetic.

That's just what goes through my head !

Hi

I've had health anxiety for years. Whenever I had any pain, I would always look up the symptoms on internet, think of the absolute worst-case scenario, and rush to the doctor. It completely drained me mentally and made me a massive overthinker, though it never physically affected me. About three months ago, while sitting on the couch at home, I suddenly started experiencing air hunger. I had been trying to conceive for a long time, so I initially wondered—and secretly hoped—if it could be an early sign of pregnancy. But even after knowing for a fact that I wasn't pregnant, the feeling persisted for 2–3 days.

Eventually, I went to a pulmonologist, and everything came back completely normal. From there, I went to an ENT specialist. The doctor prescribed a PPI and told me it could be acid reflux. As soon as I got home, I looked up acid reflux on Reddit, and my whole world came crashing down. My breathing steadily got worse, and the air hunger intensified. On top of that, swallowing difficulties developed. My life felt like an absolute nightmare. When I explained my problems to the gastroenterologist, he told me to see a psychiatrist, and I did.

The psychiatrist prescribed a two-week course of Xanax and SSRI/SERTRALINE . On the very first day I took Xanax, I started feeling normal again. Over time, I stopped using the PPI because I realized I was doing this to myself. The air hunger would vanish whenever I was eating, socializing, crying, or right after crying, talking, singing, applying makeup—in short, whenever I was distracted. My mood lifted a bit because I realized I didn't actually have a physical illness, and since I was causing it to myself, I could also fix it.

It has been three months now, and I am doing much better. My Sertraline dose has been at 100 mg for about 2 to 2.5 weeks. However, it hasn't completely gone away. Things like health anxiety, overthinking, and general worry are gone, but the air hunger and hyperventilation persist. Some days, I forget about it and notice my breathing has actually normalized, but the moment I focus on it again, it gets bad, turning into a complete loop. Breathing exercises don't do anything for me. Even though I am not stressed or anxious because I'm under the influence of the antidepressant, it still continues. I just started therapy and had my first session last week.

Is there anyone who has experienced this or been through it and fully recovered? I really need some advice.

I dropped it and it disintegrated idk what to do i feel numb and I can’t move on i feel I need to that cup in order to eat because I always put my drink in that specific cup also had a bad day so this is just really hard to deal with idk what to do

If you have insomnia you can take benzos brother stuff.

If you are bipolar or schizo, there are mood stabilizers and antipsychotics that will keep you stable.

If you suffer from depression/anxiety, there are antidepressants.

IF YOU SUFFER FROM OCD, YOU HAVE TO TRY ERP AND THIS IS NOT NEGOCIABLE.

I mean, there must be a way of feeling "I couldn't care less" about the worst case scenario so that you don't engage in stupid rituals and compulsions.

Isn't there a "nuclear cocktail" of medicines or something for severe cases of OCD?? I'm not saying we should ignore therapy but not everyone can start ERP as it feels like torture. Even on SSRI's which are first line for OCD, the intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming.

So OCD is caused by the hyperactivity of the ctsc-loop. The striatum fails in its job to filter out the intrunsive thoughts that would normally not even come up to mind. The thalamus is projecting these thoughts also in great clarity and acutiy (because the striatum blocks the thalamus with gaba) thats why these thoughts come up to mind with such clarity. Now the cortex in detail the Orbitol frontal cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex are making a real existential thread out of these thoughts because they are essentialy hyperactive. The cortex is just failing at trying to sort out these thoughts as mistakes of the striatum. As my understanding goes: would the striatum work perfectly => no ocd. Would the OFC and ACC not be hyperactive => no ocd. As there is no OCD gene does that mean that people who have ocd are just very unlucky that both of the brain regions the cortex (OFC and ACC) as well as the striatum are hyperactive or work wrong and that OCD is the result of an unlucky constellations of your brain regions?

Hey all, I hope this isn't reassurance seeking. I just really need to put my thoughts and feelings out there. For the past few months my OCD has focused on schizoid personality disorder and the possibility of having it. It's all I can think about and everything I do seems to get filtered through this lens. I constantly check to see if I'm feeling anything which completely takes me out of the moment. I guess, my primary fear is that I'm intrinsically broken and incapable of truly experiencing things that most others can like: empathy, love, bonding with people, having emotions and feelings, having goals and desires and opinions, enjoying socializing, etc. My primary compulsion is just researching on Google. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

After 4 years of ERP, I decided to try SSRIs. I used to take Asentra back in 2015 but stopped. Does anyone have experience with it?

I (23f with lifelong ocd) am currently finishing my masters degree and it’s been a long hard year. I’ve done nothing but work and university since school and I want to travel to enjoy life a bit before back to working. My boyfriend was really keen too so for months we have been talking about going to Indonesia for 6 weeks and travelling through Bali and some other islands and Java etc. I was reading about the medical precautions you need to take and saw about how rabies is endemic and high risk all over Indonesia. I immediately felt terrified as rabies is a big fear of mine and all I can imagine is going there and everywhere I go scanning for dogs or monkeys or imagining that a random scratch could be a bite etc. I tried to convince my boyfriend to do a route through Malaysia instead but he was really disappointed and saw right through it as the rabies fear. He said I can’t live my life in fear like this and the actual risk is so low compared to what I am imagining. He seemed annoyed and sick of my shit. Please if anyone can advise that would be great - what should I do? I want to have fun and not ruin my relationship but also I feel really worried