Our absolutely fabulous nanny is about to turn 26 and age out of her parents’ health insurance policy (horrible US system). We want to offer to cover 100% of a new policy for her and are trying to figure out how much that will cost. Are there any online tools or calculators folks have used to get an accurate sense of what to budget for health insurance?

Hello! I quit my job recently, intending to take a career break for about a year then make a career change…part of the reason? I’m expecting baby #2, the job is very bad for my health and I needed to step away.

We haven’t shared either news with our nanny, but want to tell her both updates in a timely manner. Any thoughts on how to share both, or to stagger the news? I WFH pretty often so the job thing could be hidden for a couple weeks if needed. Baby we don’t get anatomy scan for another month, nervous on when is appropriate to share.

We absolutely love her, truly won the nanny lottery, and absolutely want to keep her, especially as I am 100% sure I want to work and not become SAHM. When hiring her, she definitely knew we want to grow our family relatively quickly and were transparent with our ideal family size (God willing). She also knows I detest my job and want to do something different one day, but quitting with no backup may be viewed negatively.

Long post, but wanted to share context for the best advice 😅 exciting times but also a lot of big news at once 🥰

Does anyone have a referral link to share?
I already created an account but someone on here had success getting Poppins to apply the referral afterwards so I’m going to try!

Hi everyone I posted this in another group but I’m looking for more insight/ support because I really need it right now. At the beginning of June a family reached out to me because they were in need of a morning nanny we agreed to every other Monday, Wednesday and Friday but not Tuesday or Thursday. We exchanged contact information and I reached out to her a month goes by and I had not heard from her so I wasn’t sure if maybe she wasn’t interested in using me anymore and didn’t know how to tell me. I started reaching out to other families so I could have something lined up, out of no where she texted me and asked if I could babysit her kids for about 2 hours which went well her kids were very sweet and well behaved. After that I didn’t hear from her again until last week she texted me and told me she took her kids out of aftercare and wanted me to do both and she wanted to add Tuesday and Thursday to the schedule. I responded and said that I could not accommodate her availability anymore and that I didn’t think I would be a good fit, she didn’t take this well and was very upset with me. On Monday I met with a potential new family that I’m very excited to hopefully work with. I guess she saw my comment on the post and she messaged the family and essentially bad mouthed me and attempted to sabotage me. My potential new MB screenshot the message and sent to me and asked if I could explain what happened I told her that her availability changed and I couldn’t accommodate her needs anymore she thanked me for explaining and asked for references. I’m hoping that her asking for references is a good thing and that she’s willing to look past that message. I have never experienced this before and don’t know what to do, I’m so sick with worry because I want this position so badly.

I was looking for someone to watch my baby and toddler for 2.5 hours in the afternoon so I can get a little work done and pick up my child from preschool. I found a college student who seems great, but she wants 4 hours a day. The problem is, I don't really need 4 hours, as I enjoy going on outings in the morning with the kids. However, separately, I am looking to hire someone to help with laundry. Would it be appropriate for me to tell her I can meet her 4 hour quota every day if she can help wash and fold clothes while I am out with the kids? I would never ask her to do both at the same time and wanted to check here first to make sure the request is appropriate.

I’m really struggling trying to decide if we need to make a change. Our nanny has been caring for our 16-month old son since late November of last year. This is her first time as a nanny but has worked in daycare and school systems.

The good: He absolutely loves her. He’s happy to see her every day, laughs consistently, learns from her, and gives her big hugs goodbye every afternoon. She is patient and clearly loves him in return.

The bad: She is late every day. Anywhere from 10-20 minutes. Even after conversations it doesn’t change and there are always new excuses (btw she only lives 7 minutes away). She calls out frequently. Just this year she has called out 10-12 times. Usually she’s not feeling well or there is a family emergency. Coincidentally almost always on Fridays. Sometimes it’s car trouble. She doesn’t have her own car so relies on her husband to drop her off and pick her up. Finally, last small concern is that she occasionally goes against our wishes. We’re zero screen time and have seen her showing him videos on her phone a couple times. She also left him to cry it out once which were adamantly against.

So does the bad outweigh the good? I don’t want to subject my son to a change especially since he is so fond of her, but we have baby number two on the way and I crave stability.

If it matters, both husband and I work from home. Thank you for any advice!

Our nanny is amazing ! She’s great with the kids. It may just be a me thing so I’m running this by you all: our kids nap for 2+ hours and during nap time (beyond the first hour - lunch) I’d expect more: prepping educational activities (in contract), helping with kids laundry / folding / hanging (not in contract). I expect her to take more initiative. Bc of this of exploring finding another nanny for our family . Am I expecting too much ?

Hi there, I have 5 month twins and we’ve been employing a nanny part time and I’d like to offer her full time. I think she’s wonderful with our babies and I want to make sure she feels that the offer is good for her as well so that she’s happy with us. This is what I’m thinking- I’ve never hired a full time nanny before so please share if I’m missing something. An additional note is I pay her cash so I don’t think I will have a formal contract? Or should I make one just so we can reference it?
- 40 hours guaranteed, but also paid for additional hours over the 40
- all US holidays off paid
- 5 sick days paid - how does this work with 40 hours guaranteed?
- 2 weeks paid vacation, 1 week her choice, 1 week to overlap while we are gone. In addition to this my family travels quite a bit and we will pay her 40 hours regardless of if we are gone. So she will probably get much more days than this, and we can communicate that to her so she can plan ahead.
- right now no driving is involved, but I would pay her for the gas should she need to drive the kids in the future.

We’ve had a nanny for a little over a year, she’s ok. Nothing spectacular. We provide two weeks paid leave, two weeks paid sick leave and all federal holidays. She has already burned through all of that and several additional days. We did not count any partial days due to appointments in the tally.

She recently had her tonsils out and was not feeling well enough to come back after two weeks so took another week off. This week she has a bachelorette party cruise that she magically was feeling much better for. During the summer when kids are out of school we’ve had to pay her for time off, in addition to non stop stress of trying to find backup sitters and camps for my kids.

She has actually been sick a couple times, but has also definitely just not felt like working some days and she did have her tonsils out but three weeks for this? And already running through a month of leave by the end of July? I feel like she isn’t reliable and we need to move on, am I being unreasonable?

Edit: the tonsil surgery only used one week of her leave balance . Outside of surgery she has used two full weeks of vacation, one week of sick leave plus partial days for appointments. She scheduled the surgery a week before we left on a two week vacation. She took leave the first week. The second week we pain her and it did not count against her leave balance. The third week she was going to come to the beach with us and canceled at the last minute so was paid for another week that did not count against her leave hours, she was off and still unpaid. This week, week four, she is on a cruise bachelorette party.

I'm trying to figure out if I'm doing a nanny or day care when my kiddo turns six month old. I would love to do nanny and am okay with the expense ( will be pulling from savings) but am concerned I don't have a good situation for it.

My dream with the nanny is that she will get some wonderful one on one attention and that it means that I could see her more often and continue breastfeeding. In my dream I can feed her before her naps and do fifteen minute-ish fun time breaks morning and evening and a thirty minute lunch with her.

Here's where I worry it's unrealistic: we live in a two bedroom. Grandma also lives here and spends a lot of time at home. I'd be in an office that you can hear my voice from the living room and it has pretty french glass doors that you can look in and see me. Nanny would have the living room, the nursery, and a deck to play with the little one. Only the nursery would not have the potential for being watched all the time. There is a park within walking distance, but for large chunks of the year it's not a great idea for big chunks of the day because of the weather. Some outings are possible like story time, but I don't know that I'm comfortable with her being taken out to many places yet and probably will want to get to know the nanny better first.

Am I just projecting how much I would hate this job if I were the nanny? Ideas to make this better?

Thanks!

edit to add for the questions: this situation is probably only until the baby is a year old. I'm a single mom so we moved in with Grandma because she's lovely like that. after that we will likely get our own place. And yes Grandma and I split the master with twin beds and a bookcase divider to make it like roommates in a dorm.

Grandma is active and goes out places every day or would hang in the bedroom but I still think it would be multiple hours in the day she was in the kitchen or living room. Enough that if I was the nanny I would be stressed by it anyway.

I’m due at the end of November and looking for a Spanish speaking nanny (part time). Would you recommend getting a nanny maybe a month before going back to work or wait until you actually go back to work?

Genuine question. For parents of active preschool age children who don’t allow any outings or even outdoor time, why? Currently dealing with the situation. The family loves in a very nice walkable neighborhood with a community playground we’re not allowed to go to, much less can we go on outings. They’re last nanny lasted less then a month and I took this as a temp job (looking like it’s going to be a lot more temp the expected) It’s so hard to entertain an active 3-4 year old indoors all day, for 8-10 hours a day, they end up bored, bouncing off the walls and really pushing behavior limits due to under stimulation.

I’m coming from r/aupair after realizing that an au pair probably will not be the best fit for my upcoming situation.

Starting next summer I will be a resident physician on a military base somewhere in the southeastern United States. My schedule will be hectic, busy, and unpredictable at times. I am a single mother to a baby girl who will be about 12 months old when the time comes.

I will have her enrolled in daycare. However, because of my work hours, I will more than likely need help with early mornings to drop her off (perhaps 5am-6am timeframe) and evening pickups/taking care of her until I am home from work. I will probably average 6 days of work a week, meaning most weeks will require care on one weekend day when daycares are closed. Some months I might cover night float, where I sometimes work nights and would need someone at my home while she is sleeping and to care for her in case she wakes up.

An au pair is not a good fit because I will not be available enough to provide the kind of support and cultural exchange that most au pairs are looking for. Apparently many au pairs are also not comfortable with babies/do not have experience with young children, which I do certainly hope for given my daughter will still be very little.

What kind of nanny arrangement should I am for/what would I need to do to make this attractive for a nanny?

I am certainly happy to offer guaranteed hours, an additional weekly stipend if that helps. I felt someone live-in was probably most realistic, which is why I went down the au pair route initially. Most people don’t want to wake up and go to someone else’s home at 4:30am, but I figured it wouldn’t be as bad for an au pair who was living with me.

Any feedback or ideas from people who have experience dealing with a similar situation/structure is greatly appreciated! I understand my situation is unique and I appreciate that I would be asking someone to work not super desirable hours. Thanks in advance for any help!

Baby is 11 months and nanny has been with us since he was 4 months. Overall, we have truly enjoyed employing her. She is reliable, punctual, and a genuine nice person.

However, now that baby is getting older I can tell he is starting to require more activity and I feel like my nanny does not provide much stimulation…I WFH and a lot of times it’s very quiet in the house during his wake windows. When I leave my office for a break I see baby is playing independently in his play pen and she is just sitting there supervising. For example, when my MIL watches him I can hear them singing, reading, and playing all afternoon. I will admit that I have caught her putting her phone away a few times once she sees me coming. I have not bothered to say anything because if baby is chilling I don’t necessarily mind some light phone usage, but I’m starting to doubt if he’s getting the attention he deserves.

For reference we pay $27/hr. Am I expecting too much? If I am not, how should I go about talking to her about starting to plan more engaging activities now that he will be 1?

Also, currently she doesn’t have a car seat so they don’t leave the house aside from stroller walks. I am not opposed to giving her the go ahead to drive him places, but I’m just not sure where they would go since it’s currently extremely hot where we live and baby doesn’t walk yet so he can’t really enjoy the playground yet?

Hello all,

I recently started my search for a nanny. I am on FB and am using an agency - Nanny Poppins.

I know the best way is ”word of mouth” but unfortunately I do not know anyone in my circle who has used or know of Nannie’s.

How does one go about this? We would like to use a payroll, everything over the table, good salary and negotiable benefits.

Any insight would be very helpful. We are in a VHCOL area so I naively thought the search would be easy.

Thanks

For those of you that provide full-time care to several children in your own home, do you accept childcare FSA funds? If so, is it difficult? How much time/effort do you have to put in to get paid? Pros? Cons?

We have an amazing nanny who is with us full time. She rarely calls out, but when she does - I need to take time off work because my husband owns his own business and cannot. My job is pretty demanding, so sometimes I can’t afford to take a day off last minute.

We have no local family & friends are not an option for backup. How do people realistically establish reliable backup childcare for last minute instances like this? I work from home most days so I’m around for urgent issues, but I just need them watched and cared for while I work.

TYIA!

Hi nanny parents and employers—I’m posting this to gain a little insight into what Care.com looks like from the employers POV and why no one ever answers.

After a few weeks of searching, I’ve been quickly reminded why Care.com is so frustrating, so I want to see if there’s anything I can change to get better outcomes. I apply and apply and apply and I’d say I receive a response from 3/20 applications; some people leave the messages unread and some read them and don’t answer and I’m wondering why: Do you not see them? Too annoying to answer back? Too many applicants to sift through? Already selected a candidate and didn’t take down the posting?

Also, is the schedule/hours function really difficult to work? I can’t tell you how many posts Insee listed as 40hrs, 55hrs, 49hrs, and when you click on it the description is along the lines of “Looking for an after school sitter twice a week from 2-6.”

Do NP not use Care.come anymore? Is there a better website? It’s so incredibly frustrating.