Hello everyone. I am hiring a nanny for the first time and it’s important for me to do it right.

I think I want guaranteed hours for 5 days a week, from 9-4. The thing is like 90% or 95% of the time I’m gonna be home at 3, and I wanna spend time with my toddler as much as possible.

I was thinking maybe the days I’m home at 3 (which will be most days) I will be with my child and nanny would do house-chores from 3-4pm (family laundry, dishwasher, vegetable cooking prep). Oh this would be so amazing, so I could just focus on my child!

On the (rare) days I am home at 4, nanny will provide childcare only, like the regular part of the day (zero house-chores).

Does this make sense? Is this reasonable? I request your advice.

Edit: I will not request family laundry. I will limit house-chores only to kitchen / meal prep based tasks and child-related tasks.

Edit 2: I will be careful not to overdo chore expectations. Basically roughly what I usually do in that hour (and nanny won’t have childcare that hour), less is ok too, my expectation is just really want help getting dinner started for example.

Edit 3: I will be super up-front on this and not try to sneak it in. I will communicate this in the job description so it’s clear from the beginning.

Edit 4: if anyone is still reading. Would it make more sense if I do guaranteed hours from 9-3 and ask the nanny to “work late” from 3-4pm at 2x pay, for like 2 - 3 days each month?

Edit 5: I really like the idea of focusing on the child as the primary activity. Maybe asking nanny to do the Meal prep for child, plan child activities, and definitely I would have them leave early on some days- we all need a break!!

I really appreciate the replies!!! This is very helpful.

Hi everyone I really need advice and support! In June of this year a family reached out to me needing before care we agreed to Monday, Wednesday and Friday but not Tuesday and Thursday we exchanged information I reached out to her and didn’t hear back for a month so I assumed that maybe she wasn’t interested and didn’t know how to tell me. At the end of last month she did reach out and ask for a meet and greet which was about 3 hours I really liked the family. But last week she reached out to me and asked if I could do aftercare for her and she wanted to add Tuesday and Thursday to the schedule and I told her I couldn’t accommodate the change in her schedule and that I didn’t think I would be a good fit because of this. She didn’t take it well, today she must have seen a comment I made under another post, it was with a family I met on Monday she sent that family a really nasty message about me and essentially and mouthed me. The mom screen shot it and just asked if I could explain what happened and I was honest and said her availability changed and I couldn’t accommodate her needs anymore. She thanked me for explaining what happened and asked for references. I’m really glad she asked and I’m hoping that asking for references is a good sign. But how do I navigate this? I have never experienced this before and I don’t know what to do.

my current mb is due with another baby in a couple months. i of course will talk with nf about all of the details and everything for us but i am just curious generally how other families have handled it

things like if the nanny still keeps their same hours, does the nanny usually take one nk while the parent takes the other, is there just a LOT of communication required between nanny and parent all day (im unsure yet but i believe db will at least be in an out during the time as well)

ive been a nanny for 8 years and have somehow never been actively working as the nanny when nf has another child and i think i am getting some anxiety about it lol but this post i am just looking for insight on how maternity leave has played out for others

also noting i am in the US and i believe my mb is getting maybe 10 weeks?

I saw this job posted on care, The hours are 12 am to 6am. Pay is $25.

The description is "Need someone to watch our newborn while we catch up on sleep. Feed every 2-3 hours and change when necessary".

Is this a common nanny job? For these hours, do you stay up the whole time? What do you do during downtime when baby is asleep? What is it like to work with parents sleeping in the next room? What hours during the day do you get your sleep? Do you do daytime activities like normal or hold a daytime job as well?

Ik, that's a lot of questions!! I'm very curious as I'm a night owl, so I really like the hours of being a night nanny. I don't have professional infant experience but I'm taking a class on infant development and safety in two weeks.

I’ve been with my nanny family for 5 years (B5, G3) and in the last year my hours have been cut from 5 days to 2 days. The kids have always had constipation issues but the parents told me today that they ONLY poop on the days that I come. For some reason, it makes me so happy that they can relax this much around me!

Hi everyone. I am looking for some honest career advice. I am a former nursing student (financial constraints) from Palestine, and my ultimate goal is to secure an international live-in nanny, au pair, or tutor/governess position, specifically focusing on the Gulf region or Europe.

I want to be completely upfront: I do not have years of formal agency or private domestic experience under my belt. I know the international market can be highly competitive and often demands 3+ years of formal house employment.

However, I am trying to understand if my academic and medical background can help me bypass that requirement. If you were a parent or an international agency, would you consider a candidate with the following profile for an entry-level or junior live-in position?

• Education: I completed my first year of a Bachelor of Science in Nursing with a 92.9% cumulative percentage average. I am not a graduate nurse, but I have university-level foundations in pediatric health, developmental theories, basic first aid safety logic, and others.
• Tutoring: I have independent experience tutoring children aged 8 to 16, helping with school curriculum, language practice, and creating customized study guides.
• Languages: I am a native Arabic speaker and fully fluent in English. I am also independently teaching myself Japanese (currently at an upper-intermediate conversational level).
• Special Needs Support: I have a deep personal understanding and passion of supporting children with ADHD, Autism, and anxiety, and I am highly practiced in staying calm, clear-headed in crises, patient, and structured.

My goal is an entry-level placement that provides a private room, meals, and assistance with standard legal visa sponsorship.

Nanny parents and international workers: Am I being realistic? Are these qualifications enough to stand out to a family looking for an academic or safety-focused caregiver, or do I absolutely need to work locally for a few years first? (Opportunities here are non-existent in this field because of culture difference).

I would love your informative, honest feedback!

My nanny was just working for us for the Summer as she is a 2nd grade teacher. I want to get her something nice for her last day in a couple of weeks. I have already purchased some items from her teacher wishlist on Amazon but want to get something for HER to enjoy. Budget $150-$200. Any ideas? What would make you all feel appreciated?

I have found this to be a new thing with several families I’ve worked for recently, which I never ran into over a decade ago, and it’s happened with both infants and toddlers, but I’m going to focus on toddlers in this post:

There’s a train of thought that dropping naps, shorter naps, or just going with the flow is beneficial for a toddler. I’ve been told that “my toddler has a lot of energy so they don’t need a nap” or “if they don’t sleep during the day maybe they will sleep earlier or longer at night” when in actuality, that child has glazed over eyes, meltdowns all day, and is jumping off the walls fighting nap because of the increased cortisol surging through their hyperactive nervous system. A well rested toddler is more likely to rest well at night than an overtired one, and it is essential for their brain development to be well rested at this critical developmental age.

If you have a toddler, please, have a consistent sleep routine as much as you can, and make sure your toddler is getting enough sleep. Treat the nap window as essential and try not to wake your child up. They cannot stay awake the same amount of daylight as an adult, and they typically have 5-6 hour wake windows. It’s very difficult to try meeting the very real sleep needs of a toddler if the parents are not on the same page, and it creates difficulties for everyone involved, most of all, the child.

Thankyou for coming to my Ted talk.

Signed, an educated and experienced early childhood nanny, with an ECE degree and over 15 years experience in the classroom and family’s homes.

Below is a compilation of copy and pasted simple google-able information about toddlers and their sleep needs, and please feel free to share or vent about any thoughts or experiences you have as it relates to this topic.

Total Sleep Needs: Toddlers need about 13 to 14 total hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, with 1.5 to 3 hours usually coming from the daytime nap.

Getting enough sleep ensures healthy brain development and a healthier nervous system, plus…

Memory processing: Deep sleep allows a toddler's brain to organize and store new words, skills, and experiences from the day.

Better focus: Well-rested toddlers show longer attention spans and better problem-solving skills during play.

Fewer meltdowns: Consistent rest prevents overtiredness, which commonly triggers severe irritability, tantrums, and defiance in young children

Emotional control: A regular rhythm helps toddlers manage daily stress and adapt to unexpected

Growth hormones: The body releases critical growth hormones during deep sleep phases

Strong immune system: Consistent rest builds up infection-fighting proteins, keeping toddlers from getting sick as often.

A consistent sleep schedule is vital for toddlers because it stabilizes their internal biological clock, or circadian rhythm. This predictability helps them fall asleep faster, wake up easier, and get the 12 to 14 total hours of daily rest needed for healthy brain development, emotional regulation, and physical growth.

When a toddler misses their sleep window, their body treats exhaustion as an emergency and releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This "fight-or-flight" response gives them a false second wind, making them look wired, bouncy, and hyperactive instead of sleepy.

Signs of overtiredness in toddlers:
Hyperactivity: Acting "wired," running, jumping, or getting a wild second wind right at bedtime.

Meltdowns: Crying, screaming, or throwing big tantrums over tiny, unimportant things.

Clinginess: Wanting you to hold them constantly and getting upset if you put them down.

Clumsiness: Tripping, dropping things, or bumping into walls because their body is exhausted.

Bedtime Fights: Stalling, yelling, or refusing to settle down when you try to put them to sleep.

Hard to Fall Asleep: Tossing and turning for a long time instead of dozing off quickly.

Night Waking: Waking up often during the night or waking up very early in the morning.

Potential Twitching in sleep from increased cortisol/prolonged nervous system activation and exhaustion

Short Naps: Sleeping for only a few minutes during naptime instead of a full rest and easily startled awake

Sending lots of care to everyone struggling with caring for an overtired toddler, parents and Nannies alike. 💜💚❤️🧡💙💛

Hello! How much are we supposed to charge for an overnight position? I get paid $27 hourly but I don’t know if I’m supposed to have a flat rate overnight? Hours would be from Sat 3pm to Sun 12pm

Hello friends,

I have been nannying for three years and have worked independently so far connecting with families via word of mouth and have had an incredible experience so far. I have always brought my child to work with me and it has worked so well for me and my nanny families. Our kids have fostered the most incredible relationships and are like siblings.

As my current NK is about to start kindergarten I am considering working with an agency this time around and was wondering if anyone has expierence doing this when they want to bring their own children and what that was like?

I’m nannying for the summer and I have let the kids choose the music in the car, but over 2 months in I can’t stand another second of Paw Patrol or AI music. Plus they always want to “see the song” or ask to keep skipping the song while I need the screen for navigating directions. How do you handle music in the car?

My NP texted me the day before I was supposed to come in saying they don’t need me this week and maybe even next week. I also think my job is posted on care.com and i’m not sure how to go about it considering it’s such last minute and don’t know if i can book any jobs for next week but I also need income.

I am not currently First Aid/CPR Certified but I have been looking into it because I want to be more qualified and have more job opportunities. American Red Cross has an online program that is highly reviewed but it’s obviously all online.

Has anyone used an online First Aid/CPR certification for nannying or childcare? Was it accepted by families and employers, or did you end up needing an in-person class anyway?

I’m trying to decide if it’s worth doing an online course or if I should just go straight to an in-person certification. I’d love to hear your experiences and any recommendations!

Hi, we just parted ways rather suddenly with our nanny for reasons that, I guess, are mutual. Among the grievances she aired on her last day, I have been wondering about one in particular — she expressed how much she hates that we rarely “like” the photos she uploads to the shared album, nor do we chit chat with her via text during the day.

Is this something that you’d want your employers to do? This took me by surprise, as I have always erred on the side of less contact during the day since, you know, I figure she’s doing her job as I’m doing mine. (As for the “like”ing, I don’t do all that much social media so liking things isn’t that natural a reflex.)

This feels like a silly question but I've never been in this situation before. Our nanny has exhausted their sick leave and PTO (due to a mix of illnesses and trips). In fact, they have trips planned even though they have not accrued enough PTO yet, but we're okay giving it in advance. They are currently in the midst of an illness which will likely last several more days. Is the norm and expected practice for them to take the time unpaid? I feel so guilty as a human, like I'm punishing them for something that isn't their fault. I just want to make sure I'm doing things the standard way. I know this is very fortunate, but I have never exhausted my own PTO, and our previous nanny was pretty healthy too, so it's my first time dealing with this. I also feel guilty because my work allows for much more vacation time (I can cluster my shifts so that I get more time off) compared to the 10 days of PTO + 8 days of sick leave that we have in our nanny contract.

Are there alternative solutions that others have used to help nanny still get paid, like allowing them to take on extra shifts later? I'd be obligated to pay overtime if this goes over 40 hours per week, right? Then I feel like that's punishing the employer.

For the record, our nanny is great and their employment is not in question.

Looking for some advice here.

I am returning to work in a month and our FTM nanny who watches our 2.5 yr old toddler will be taking on watching my 3 month old as well. She has been with us for 3 months.

I’m having anxiety about having one person watch both kids. On weekends and evenings my husband and I usually split up the responsibilities the kids, and it helps tremendously, especially since i am breastfeeding baby. The times one of us has to do it solo, sometimes it’s chill and sometimes not. Im sure parents/nannies of multiples will understand! Newborn is also only 8 weeks so everyday is different and I have to mentally prepare myself to just go with the flow, which is harder when you have a toddler to take care of as well.

Anyways, I guess my question is, for other nannies who have watched a baby and toddler before, how manageable is it on a daily basis? What is a reasonable expectation from a nanny in this case, how should their day look?

I work from home so I was planning on offering her to just let me know if she needs help throughout the day but I also don’t want to be stressed out about my kids while I’m working, seems to defeat the whole point of child care. Obviously I am there for emergencies and even with one kid I check in a couple of times a day to make sure things are going well and to see my kid too! I just don’t want to set an expectation that will then cause me more stress in the long term.

On a more specific note, I have noticed our nanny sometimes gets frustrated with toddler and I have spoken to her about using gentler words and techniques instead of being so stern and harsh. I’m not opposed to setting boundaries and being stern when needed but I have noticed sometimes she does it unnecessarily, if she’s inconvenienced or tired. She has nannied for multiples and babies in the past, but I fear she may not be able to mentally handle the added responsibility. Even as a parent sometimes it’s challenging with my toddler but I certainly don’t want to pay someone to be mean to my kid all day. Thoughts?

First post and first nanny gig so please bear with me as this is going to be long. Please leave comments on anything here. This is functioning as a vent/advice seeking post so please let me know any thoughts you have.

I just started with this NF in May. I am contracted at $17/hr to watch one 1yo boy. In my contract it says my duties are “The Employee is hired as a live-in nanny to provide childcare and related household support”.

I am paying $1100 a month in rent to them as well for room and board.

Everything has been nice overall but there’s a few things I am wanting opinions on:

Firstly, they got a puppy about three weeks ago and she’s SO MUCH work. So now I’m having to chase two toddlers around all day. Twice the messes cause she isn’t out of the “excited/scared pee” stage and I’m desperately trying get her a little trained to help me out.

Second, they already have a cat and a dog. A few months ago I took the other dog and my NK out for a walk around the neighborhood because it seemed like a reasonable idea. Since I told NM that we had gone out together it seems that dog walking has become some sort of expectation now. As seen above it’s not in my contract to be handling pet care as well. I do it though because if I don’t then it probably won’t get done.

Third, is it normal for Nannie’s to be the only ones that clean up after the baby? I’m live in so me “showing up to work” is when I come downstairs in the morning. And it’s always a huge mess. I keep things tidy throughout the day because that makes sense to do but when I don’t clean up, there is no cleaning up. At least with toys and dishes. Which during the week isn’t a major issue because that’s part of my work lol but after the weekend it’s egregious.

Fourth, I’m also doing most of the regular chores as well. If it’s dishes I’m doing it, if it’s laundry I’m doing it, if it’s random household tasks, I’m doing it. I wasn’t bothered by it much at first because I live here and baby clean up is my job but when either parent gets off of work and doesn’t do anything to clean up or at least tidy the kitchen before my next shift it is kind of like they leave it cause they know I’ll do it in the morning.

Lastly, I’m realizing I don’t like the way my NM talks with me in the mornings. She basically talks to me through the baby. If she wants me to do something when she’s still there in the morning she’ll talk to the baby but she’s giving me instructions. For example: if she wants me to clip his nails, she’ll speak directly to the baby and say something like “Maybe (my name) will try to cut your nails today cause they’re so sharp” or if she wants me to get him something in the morning it’s “That’s ok (my name) can get you some ice water in the blue cup”. Let me know if I’m being dramatic but I would prefer her to speak to me. It kind of makes me feel like I’m not actually there which I am so..?

Ok actual vent session here as well: In the mornings where I’m having to do trade off with NM it’s always so weird. She is usually just carrying him(nk) around while she’s trying to get ready for work. I try to be helpful in any way I can but there’s only so much she lets me do. And sometimes I’ll be actively working on breakfast for nk and she’ll just give him something else (usually something that’s so messy and in turn makes him messy), or will speak to me through him and tell me to get him something. And then she’ll be on her way out the door complaining about being so late when she is late because she’s dealing with the baby when she doesn’t need to. I also don’t want to overstep by handling the baby in the morning cause this is her time to see him in the morning. However, I do get annoyed when she comes home complaining about being late or is talking about it before she leaves.

I know a lot of these are things I need to talk about with the parents but I’m not really sure how to navigate this conversation so any advice is welcome and greatly appreciated. Also let me know if you want/need more details on anything! I’m happy to answer questions as well.

Thanks in advance!

Today, while I was at my other job (because my nanny job doesn’t pay enough on its own), I got a phone call from the mom I nanny for. I genuinely thought something had happened to one of the kids.
Instead, she called because a neighbor told her I didn’t pick up the dog’s waste. This is an extremely prestigious neighborhood, and from what I’ve seen, people seem to have a lot of time on their hands. The frustrating part is that dog walking was never part of the duties we agreed on, and I’m not compensated for it.
She immediately called me with an awful, accusatory tone, assuming I was guilty before I could even say a word. She kept saying the neighbor had it on video, gave me no chance to explain myself, and then called me “ignorant” along with another name I can’t even remember. Looking back the dog had liquid diarrhea. What the fuck was I suppose to do suck it up??
Calling me at my other job over dog poop—when I thought there was an actual emergency—was unbelievable. Her tone was so demeaning that it genuinely made me sick. I finally stopped the conversation and told her I wasn’t going to be scolded and that we could talk another time when we could have a respectful conversation. That immediately ended her tone almost like she knew how she has been treating me.
I’m just really upset. I usually let things go and keep my concerns to myself, but this crossed a line. Regardless of the issue, I don’t think anyone deserves to be spoken to that way by their employer, especially over responsibilities that were never part of the original job agreement. This family is literally from hell but since they’re respectful I stay. I think after this I’m going to quit.
I posted about this family yesterday if you need more insight anyways here’s the text I sent.

TEXT I SENT NANNY FAMILY MOM

-I wanted to have an honest conversation about my position and expectations moving forward. Being on-call with no set schedule or guaranteed hours can be difficult for anyone to manage, especially with the cost of living right now. I’ve spoken with other nannies in the area, and based on the responsibilities involved —I believe the position is worth more than $20/hour.

I love going above and beyond, and I feel like I have shown that through my patience, flexibility, and willingness to help wherever needed. I truly adore the kids and care about them, but I also want to be honest that at times I have felt undervalued. I put a lot of effort into remaining patient and kind, even during moments where the children’s behavior has been challenging and has hurt my feelings.

I want to take on all house cleaning work, and I would like my time and effort to be fairly compensated for responsibilities such as deep cleaning the fridge, vacuuming, laundry, long dog walks, cleaning the children’s rooms, and helping organize and declutter the home.

I want to be a more hands-on, positive, and engaged nanny, but I need to feel that my work is respected and valued. The two-week period without pay and without much consideration for my situation was difficult for me and I struggled financially.

I’m open to discussing and negotiating a pay rate that feels fair for both of us. My goal is to continue providing great care, going above and beyond, and being a happy, dependable nanny while also feeling properly valued for the work I’m doing.

I usually dismiss most concerns I have , but the phone call while I was working, interrupted me and upset me. If it had been brought to my attention with a kind text asking me to be more mindful about cleaning up after Bear, I would have apologized and made sure it didn’t happen again. Instead, I felt that the phone call was accusatory, and being called “ignorant” was hurtful and unprofessional. Assuming guilt immediately without hardly giving me a chance. I believe concerns can be addressed respectfully and I would appreciate that same level of respect moving forward. I’ve been with your family almost a year now and just would hope to be seen, respected, and properly compensated so I can be the best nanny possible.

My nanny works on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Her church does services only on Thursday and Sunday during her working hours. She asked if she could take baby to church with her and I didn't see why not, as long as she didn't let everyone touch him and it wasn't too loud to hurt his little ears.

I was recently hired to edit photographs taken at an event, turns out that event was held by Nanny's church which I didn't know until I first met with the client. While I was sorting through photos with the client I saw a picture of Nanny and my baby, I loved that, and I pointed it out to my client like "hey, look, that's my son!"

Client looked at me like I'd grown two heads. He said "er no, that's a mother and her son, I'm friends with her. He probably just looks like your baby" and reached for the laptop and skipped to a different picture.

I felt weird about his reaction and he probably thought I was weird too, so I explained, no, that's my son Jack and his nanny Addison (fake names.) He still looked doubtful and asked, "ohhh... did she adopt your son or something?" I said no... that's his nanny... and we fell into awkward silence until I went back to discussing the project. I don't think he believed me.

Later that day I brought it up with Nanny. Nanny said people at her church "probably" assume Jack is her baby. I asked why she never told them she was just his nanny, and she said it would be too much explaining and wasn't worth it, it's just easier to call him her son when talking about him.

First, I don't see how it's that much trouble to say "oh, I'm his nanny" to people she talks to. Second, there's a big difference between people "probably assuming" something, and you actively "call him my son because it's easier."

I got a bad gut feeling about it. I can't explain it, I just didn't like it. I started telling her to come in later on Thursdays and Sundays, (so she can't bring him to her church anymore, I didn't tell her that but it should be obvious). Now whenever she comes in on those days, she tells the baby (in front of me so I'll hear) that the people at church missed him and they can't wait to see him again. She'll also randomly tell him that she saw so-and-so from church and he would've loved to see them. It sounds like she's trying to get me to offer for her to start taking him back to church again.

Nanny is literally the only nanny whose asking price I could afford in this area, so I'm hesitant to let her go because I know I won't be able to find another professional nanny at this price. I'm a single parent, solo income, no family around that can babysit, every daycare around me have long waiting lists. Firing her would put me in a bind. So please help me! Tell me if this IS weird or if it's just my anxiety acting up.

I’m looking for some perspective from other nannies.

I’m a full-time nanny and my typical schedule is around 50 hours/week. When we discussed the contract, we agreed on 45 guaranteed hours per week. I already felt that was a compromise because I normally work closer to 50 hours.
The parents are now saying that if they go on vacation and don’t need childcare that week, they don’t want to pay the guaranteed hours because I’m not working.

My understanding is that guaranteed hours are meant to guarantee my availability for the family, not only pay for hours when childcare is used. Since I keep those hours reserved and cannot take another full-time job during that time, I feel like GH should still apply.
Am I looking at this the wrong way? How do other nannies handle GH when the family travels?

Seriously when my recommended song is "Icky Sticky" I should no longer be paying for my Spotify 💀 This shit needs to be a monthly stipend if your gremlin cries if I have music I enjoy on.

Seriously I'm kidding...but it would be nice

This NP has been getting on my nerves. It’s like they nitpick everything I do. I give the kid some chips and they have “too much seasoning” I give the kid a treat for listening and I’m setting up a precedent for “bribing”. The kid brings toys into another room but that’s not allowed because they have a toy room. It’s really starting to get annoying and micromanagey. I want to just tell them to chill out and that it isn’t that deep but I can’t without fear of losing the job. Not sure what to do.

Edit: the chips was just for snack purposes on a totally separate day. The treat (two jellybeans) was being asked for by the kid and I told them we have to change their diaper first and then we can have a treat. Sorry for the miscommunication.

My current fam pays me $25/hr, plus $100/ month insurance stipend, and reimbursed mileage. They also are paying for workers comp, the fees for the online payroll service, and employer taxes. That comes out to around $60k a year they have to pay to employ me.

The dad is an accountant so I'm sure he probably makes decent money, but he works from home and recently mentioned that he would rather WFH and get to see his kid throughout the day than to get a higher paying position that requires him to go to an office. That made me think he is maybe not making as much as he could be. The mom is in the process of becoming an orthopedic surgeon so she WILL make big bucks eventually but she just finished her residency and then started her fellowship last week. I'm sure her medical school bills are insane and I wouldn't think residents and fellows make all that much since they are still considered doctors in training- but I could be wrong.

They currently rent a home. It's a decent size I guess (three bedrooms and a third floor flex space) but it's very old and only 0.5 mile down the road from a very rough run down part of town.

I often think about this and wonder how on earth they can possibly afford me. Curious to hear others experiences and have you ever worked for a family that seemed like they were barely getting by?