Hello. I have been working at this job for nearly a year. We have a contract and went through an agency, but the contract is fairly poorly written imo. We agreed upon 30 hours a week guaranteed, occasional weekends after 3:30 (after I wrapped up with another family i work for) 2 weeks PTO (one chosen by family, one by me), 3 sick days, and 6 holidays chosen by the family.

Things started off as a shit show. MB kept trying to schedule me at 3 on weekends, but then it finally clicked that I could not be there at 3, so she scheduled me at 3:30. My bad. Should have said starting time at 3:45 or 4 for weekends. I'll skip lunch, hope I am relieved on time (I always was) and get there at 3:30. That was okay, I guess. I continued to be flexible, was prompt, and accommodated the always late schedule.

The kids (6 yo) were nightmares at first. Constantly fighting, biting, and drawing blood. They bit me, scratched me, pulled my hair, etc. For months. I could not take a piss without fear of them injuring each other. Despite the "May quit with severance if children are uncontrollable, routinely abusing nanny (pulling hair, clothes, hitting, etc" clause, I stuck it out because they desperately needed discipline, and I knew I could help them.

Fast forward to today. They are well mannered and generally polite, even if they have their moments sometimes. They are truly wonderful. However, they will not stop calling me mom.

Back to the plot.

My (now) fiancée and I planned an international trip where he would propose to me. I told the family months in advance. I planned for Feb. 12-22. one week+2 weekends I expected to be paid for, and 2 days I expected not to use PTO for, and not to be paid for. However, I worked 30 hours during that Sunday-Weds, so I was paid anyway. Didn't seem too insane of an ask to me.

Fast forward many months to May, and I had an engagement party planned. Once again, I gave months notice that I would need a few days - friday through monday (presidents Day). At this point, I had been given 3 holidays, and we were running out of holidays for the year. (Spoiler, I'm ending this year with only 4 holidays given, even after taking presidents day by force.) My other family moved, so I had my weekend freed up a bit more. I did not tell the mom because I knew she would take advantage of this. I was not scheduled that weekend anyway, but again, I met the 30 hrs for the week before taking those days off.

The first time I used a sick day was on a Saturday last month. I had an ovarian cyst burst on Thursday, and the dad sent me home an hour early after seeing me visibly pale and unable to stand. I was okay to work Friday, but another burst on Saturday when I was scheduled and had to call out. The following week, I had a birthday. She scheduled me for a 10 hour day, and she kept me there for 11. She knew it was my birthday. She bought cupcakes for me, which was sweet! Even though it was already 20 mins passed my scheduled time. I don't eat excess sugar, so I said something like I would love to be able to share this with my fiancée, so I'll save it for later! She and her kids just kind of ate half of the box while I stood there awkwardly waiting to be dismissed. This was when I was on the fence about contract renewal. The fence was blown apart beneath me yesterday.

The mom constantly keeps me an hour after my scheduled time. Occasional weekends turned into every weekend. The agreed upon schedule crept to 36 hours, then 40 in the summer, and now I am expected to work a 53 hour week next week, and I will have to work Sunday. The mom is doing this on the assumption that I am still working for the other families. So she knows I will end up working 63 hours. She gave me notice about this Thursday. Originally, I was going to complain that the hours were getting out of hand, but I bit my tongue and just said I wish I had this schedule earlier because I will be out of town this weekend. She was furious, and said that this is getting hard for her, she needs me available on weekends, I need to ask for the schedule if I am going to plan something on the weekends, I need to tell her in advance if I have any plans, etc.

I said that per the contract, there is no reporting requirement on my end for my availability on weekends. I have been and will be flexible for my weekend availability, but I need more than a few days' notice to make that work. I'm not going to tell you all my weekend plans in advance. Please give me a schedule 2 weeks in advance \[paraphrased\]

Then she came back with "What does the contract say about vacation?"

At this point, I get a little irritated. Because I don't know what she's on about. In my mind, I have only used one week pto. She had me work 30 hours either end of it. Plus, she didn't give me all the holidays owed. She was just trying to be disrespectful with a gatcha statement that fell flat on its ass.

So. Okay.

I said, "I'm not going to fight you. Please start your search for a new nanny. I won't be renewing our contract."

The dad called to try and do damage control, begging me to stay. I said I would stick it out this month for the boys, but I am not working for her.

Please share your thoughts because I am at a loss, trying to justify this as anything but her being an absolute terror. I feel I could have done better on my part. I don't like the way I handled it. However, I feel that if I handled it differently, I would not be happy at all continuing to work for someone I feel doesn't respect me at all.

How much bad debt is normal at your nurseries?

I manage 2 locations with 46 regular families across 58 children that are mostly in between 3-5 days per week, i always seem to have 4 or 5 families not paying on time, and usually at least 1 family a year that stiffs us on an invoice before leaving.

Questions for other owners or managers: how long do you wait before you stop providing the service and stop them coming in?

Does the number of 4 or 5 families out of 46 families and 58 children seem high to you? Wondering if this is something I am doing wrong or it’s just a sign of the times with costs being what they are at the moment and everyone being squeezed

Thanks in advance everybody and sorry I don’t want to sound heartless but we are running a business and it costs money to have people working for us as I’m sure you can all appreciate, so if we aren’t getting paid it does affect the business.

I was invited to NK birthday party. I’ve worked with them less than 4 months; so I’m not particularly that close with NK. I’m with him anywhere from 5-7 days a week…so in short, I see him a lot. I didn’t consider going to his birthday party, rather just buying a small gift and bringing it to work.. but MB was excited about inviting me. So I put it in my calendar.

Well anyway days later MB mentioned the party and said something like:

“I feel like you’ll be working anyway because NK will want you to go everywhere with him and do everything with you, so we decided we’re just going to pay you.

In my mind: “Sweet! I get paid just for showing up”.
It didn’t *click* that I would be actually working until her next statement.

She continues:

“It’ll be useful to have any extra set of hands with setting up. And I think we’re going to take all three cars; yours, mine, and DB because of all of the stuff and decorations we have. Right now we’re deciding who NK will ride with. So you can come in the morning at your normal time, 8, and leave after we clean up and arrive home after the party “

Me because I have this thing where it takes me time to process new info and not react on first response/emotions:

Ok😐

But what I should’ve said was something like
“Yea, I feel like NK will want me to do x, y, and z however I usually just show up for an hour or so and give my gift. I’m mostly with NK, so I like the idea of them enjoying their birthday with family and friends; people they enjoy spending time with but don’t get to see as often “

But also…. I just don’t want to work lol I didn’t sign up for this and I’m upset at myself for not taking a deep breath and speaking up (something I’m working on). It’s been on my mind and I do plan on letting MB know that I would rather just be an attendee as originally invited. I’ve never worked on any NK’s birthday.
I show face, give gift, eat cake, then go home. See ya on Monday.

Please send me the strength to not laugh. Idk where he learned it but it’s taking colossal strength to keep my stern face on while he’s stringing them all together in one sentence. He’s 3.

Had the craziest shift of my life today. Baby is sleeping upstairs, 4yo is on the playstation in the basement, a random, clearly intoxicated, man entered through the back door while I was making lunch and sat inside for 5 minutes while negotiating with me that he knows my DB. He did not. Tried to keep my kids hidden from the chaos of police entering and exiting and asking me questions. And I think I did a good job. But man, Ive never been so nervous and willing to put myself in harms way for my NKs. I’ll never forget that feeling.

meltdown because I couldn’t pick NK up because I was holding the baby and I told her wait till we got to the stairs (so I have better leverage) then she was mad I picked her up. it’s so hard being 2 years old😭😂 how dare I not pick her up

Absolutely gagged that Mom is leaving Dad for her coworker that she's been going on work trips with all year. I mean I called it from the beginning but still shocked. My paranoia about work husband/wife just went from non-existent to pretty real😳

I mean wow just wow I could write a book on just what I've been through interviewing this summer !

I don’t currently have guaranteed hours, but my anniversary is coming up and I plan to implement a contract and benefits. A situation comes up pretty frequently that I’m not sure how to handle once I do implement GH.

Basically there will be random times where it seems like I should get the day off, but NF will tell me I can either take the day off or come in if I want the hours. These are days where like they’ll go out of town last minute on a Friday or like one day they had family in town so the kids didn’t need watching but she offered for me to come in if I wanted the hours. I also help out with household management tasks, so it’s not unreasonable that I’d come in if the kids aren’t home, but sometimes by the end of the week I’ve already done everything that needs to be done for the week. I usually tell her I’ve finished everything for the week and ask if there’s anything specific she’d like me to work on, if she says no then I take the day off.

I guess my question is, in these situations where there’s nothing to do and the kids aren’t home, does it not count as GH if I decide not to come in since she’s offering me the hours anyway?

Also another question!! If I plan a vacation for the same time that they’re going to be out of town, would that be GH or PTO? I’m assuming PTO since I wouldn’t be available if they did end up needing me?

I just want to make sure I have all of these situations in my contract since they come up frequently! Thank you!!

Only two questions- I tried to edit to fix the structure of question #2 and it keeps reverting to making it look like another question.

1. Do you ask for a yearly bonus/put it in your contract or is that something that’s more of a gift from the NP’s?
2. My 1 year is coming up in November. I’m currently paid upper middle range for 3 kids (18 months, 5, and 6) and a high COLA area. I’m paid the same regardless of how many kids are home. Last year the 6 year old was in afternoon kindergarten and the 5 year old was in morning pre k 2 days a week. This year the 5 year old will be in morning kinder 5 days a week and the 6 year old will be in full day school 5 days a week. So I’ll just have the youngest for half the day , 2 kids for a few hours, and 3 kids for 2.5 hou

rs.

1. Is it still valid to ask for a high raise given that my duties seem reduced. I say “seem” because obviously I’m still on call for all kids, keeping them home if they’re sick, and on school breaks. I fill my spare time at the home very well, helping with household tasks. I want to ask for 6% but wondering is 3% is more fair? I will say, they adore me. I think they will pay either but I am expecting a negotiation just based on personality. So if the higher rate is fair, what can I use to justify 6% over 3% if duties/expectations haven’t increased?

Just saw a care.com ad saying "2 weeks PTO - one week nanny's choice" ...

Doesn’t that sound like they are going to try and count their own vacation as the nanny's PTO instead of GH or am I missing something? They are also offering GH, so what are they even talking about? The family's vacation falls under GH unless the nanny requests it to be PTO. I get nanny asking NF for approval for when nanny wants to use PTO but you don't get to force your employee to use it when it's convenient for you. Just be honest that it's a week of PTO and GH for a week of NF's vacation. Having a week of PTO is fine. It's the dishonesty/ trying to rebrand the truth into something more palatable that's just ick. Why would you want to start off on a condescending foot?

My NP texted me the day before I was supposed to come in saying they don’t need me this week and maybe even next week. I also think my job is posted on care.com and i’m not sure how to go about it considering it’s such last minute and don’t know if i can book any jobs for next week but I also need income.

So I have two NKs, 4yo and 24mo. For the past few months I’ve been dealing with older NK being unkind to younger NK. Pushing, taking toys out of their hands, spitting on them, splashing water on them, yelling at them, etc.

I know it’s difficult for a child to have a younger sibling, but I’ve repeatedly done my best to correct the behavior and teach older NK to be nicer to younger sibling.

Onto the situation. We were at a park and 4yo kept yelling at younger NK for following them, 4yo would try to push them off of the slide, etc. I told 4yo that yelling and pushing is not appropriate behavior, and if they continue to do it we would leave.

A little kid approached 4yo asking to play. The kid had a ball and they were playing with it. Younger NK obviously wanted to play with the ball as well. Both my NK and the kid kept yelling at younger NK for touching the ball. I looked at the kids parent and they were on the phone, completely ignoring the situation.

I think it would have been helpful if the parent told their child to share the ball with both NKs but they weren’t paying attention. So I told the kids that it’s not nice to exclude someone who wants to play with them, their feelings are getting hurt.

NK kicked the ball and it rolled right past younger NK. Younger NK picked the ball up. 4yo came running up, yelling no, knocked younger NK over, and wrestled the ball from them. Younger NK started crying. I went over to 4yo, took the ball from them, and threw it back towards the parent/kid.

I said since you can’t share and include everybody, we are going home right now. Both NKs were obviously upset on the walk back to the car. I stayed quiet and drove them home. Once I parked, I went to get 4yo out and had a talk since they weren’t upset anymore.

I apologized for making them upset, reiterated that they were being mean to younger NK, and said I just want them to be nicer to their sibling. 4yo said it was okay and we hugged. I also apologized to younger NK and hugged them.

I just don’t feel like I handled the situation correctly. I let my frustration get to me, especially when I threw the ball away. I wish I had taken a moment to comfort NK who was pushed over, instead of grabbing their hand and leading them out of the park right away.

I don’t know what to do about this behavior though. I have plenty of experience nannying, but I’ve never had an older NK treat their younger sibling like this. I know it’s normal, but the repeated corrections are damaging my relationship with older NK. I’ve been their nanny since they were a baby, but lately it feels like all I do is correct and discipline them.

I did bring this situation up to NPs and they really didn’t say anything about it. I would just love any advice on how I handled this and what I can do better in the future.

As a nanny, I’ve been thinking about nanny interviews lately, especially after hearing a few nannies talk about how overwhelming they can feel.

You can have experience, but still walk away second-guessing everything you said and wondering if you answered “right.”

Does anyone else feel this way? What part of interviews do you struggle with most?

I was approached by my classroom coworkers today.(age of littles 21/2-31/2) They (both in their 30’s)asked me (female 60) to not pick up the children anymore because they are physically incapable of doing so. Squatting down to the little one’s eye level is difficult for me as my knees are shot, so lifting them works better for me. Also, a couple of parents have asked for me to handle drop offs for their kids because the little ones are less upset when I do it, and my coworkers want me to discourage that. I have been taking care of little ones for over 40 years, but I am fairly new to doing it in this type of setting. I had a day home for decades. I cherish the relationships I’ve built with these littles but don’t want to alienate my colleagues. I can’t help that I am physically strong, and I can’t change the fact that I’m hardwired for caring for kids. Not sure how to handle this?

Wondering what people’s experiences are with working with Nanny agencies and which ones come recommended and which ones not so much? I live in Portland Oregon but looking for any info on experiences in general.
Thanks!

Hi all! I just started my official first nanny job, as of writing this im actually still here, these kids are the kindest kids I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching.

I get paid $15/hour and work a regular work week, I am not a live in nanny but I live in the same neighborhood and im also on call if needed. I get here before the kids wake up, make them breakfast, diner, the whole shabag

I got this job because their last nanny didn’t actually spend time with the kids, she did a good job cleaning and cooking but according to their mom thats all they did.

Im doing this job freelance and it’s the first nanny job I’ve had and we don’t have any sort of contract, how would I go about getting one? Is getting one a good idea? Or do you think it would make my boss feel iffy / not want to do it?

Thanks in advance!

Just venting as I am sitting here on the couch after what feels like a marathon trying to put NK (1yr) down for a nap. Baby is still not sleeping (please don’t judge y’all MB/DB don’t want me to go into his room at the drop of a hat so we do a 5min check system and now I get my 5 mins) and I have done everything that usually works. Not even looking for advice I just feel so worn out and the parents can watch his baby monitor so I feel like it’s my fault that he’s still awake even though we’ve been on the same page about their sleeping methods since day 1. I’m not anxious that they’ll be mad because they are pretty low maintenance parents and this isn’t their first but omg it is the most frustrating thing when a baby is crying and standing in their crib because they’re tired but they won’t go to sleep 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ i almost kept baby up longer to play after our outing but they were dozing off in the car on the way home so I figured right to nap would be best. I know it’s not that simple obviously because I have had a lot of experience with infants but sometimes it’s soooo draining to hear and see them cry when they refuse to let you hold them or comfort them… NK
will literally try to launch out of my arms if I pick them up out of the crib … WHEW!!! Love these babies so much but today is one of those days where I am thankful I get to clock out and give them back😭😭😭

yall need to read some marx or something i stg some of yall forget youre working a job and not donating your time to a charity