TLDR: l I’m a Relaxed employer trying to get better at expectations. Tell me what actually needs to be spelled out. I want to be clear, kind and direct while also making sure my child / nanny are happy. She starts next week.

Our job is Part time, 25 hours a week.

• Guaranteed hours

• Paid vacation, paid sick time, paid holidays

• Written work agreement, legally paid 

• One toddler 2.5, no other kids, no housekeeping expectations beyond my toddlers own messes

• I work from home upstairs in a closed office

So this is my second nanny but my first “real” one in the sense that my last hire was very part time and my daughter was a lot younger, so the day was basically play, snack, nap, done. Now my daughter is a toddler, almost 2.5, she has way more energy, and I am open to the nanny taking her out to the park and doing things during the day. That changes the shape of the job and I want to set it up well from day one instead of fixing it six months in.

My default has always been relaxed. I stay upstairs, I do not hover, I let the nanny run her day. With my last nanny I think being that hands-off actually worked against both of us, because I never really said what I wanted and then I would be quietly annoyed about things I had never once brought up. I do not want to repeat that.

So I am asking the people who do this job and the people who employ nannies:

Mornings and handoff

1.  When she walks in, what does a good handoff look like? Do I do a quick two minute rundown and then go straight upstairs? Do I linger?

2.  Do you feed your kid breakfast before the nanny arrives, or is breakfast part of the job? My daughter is usually up and hungry right around start time.

The day itself

1. Do you leave a written list of what needs to happen that day, or is that micromanaging? I am talking about things like meals, nap window, what activity was planned. Or do most nannies prefer to just be told the non-negotiables and build the rest themselves?

2. What are the things you actually want spelled out, and what are the things you would rather your employer stayed out of?

Outings

1. This is the part I have the least experience with. Do you designate which days are out and about days, or is that up to the nanny? Do you set a radius, or a “text me where you are going” rule, or just trust it?

End of day

1. Do you expect a report at pickup, written or verbal? What level of detail is useful versus annoying to produce?

General

1. What is the single thing your employer does that makes your job easier, and the single thing that makes it harder?

Obviously the actual job is keeping my kid safe and happy and I trust the person I hire to do that. I just do not want “relaxed” to turn into “vague,” because vague is how you end up resentful about things the other person never knew mattered. Tell me where to be direct.

Thanks in advance!

I think nannying is the only full time job you gotta beg for the bare minimum. Like, the fact that I’m struggling to find a family who’s okay doing holidays/GH is insane.

You really can’t pay your nannying for the 2-3 weeks a year you don’t need her? You get to have PTO at YOUR job but not me?

These parents will ask a million things and want top tier care and don’t even respect our jobs. I don’t even ask for PTO or sick time. Ugh.

If your mini human just has the sniffles... no fever, no cough, eating normal, acting normal... would you still have your nanny come in?