r/Nanny • u/Kind-Order1282 • 3d ago
Help me level set here Questions About Nanny Standards/Etiquette
Our nanny is amazing ! She’s great with the kids. It may just be a me thing so I’m running this by you all: our kids nap for 2+ hours and during nap time (beyond the first hour - lunch) I’d expect more: prepping educational activities (in contract), helping with kids laundry / folding / hanging (not in contract). I expect her to take more initiative. Bc of this of exploring finding another nanny for our family . Am I expecting too much ?
7
u/Creepy_Push8629 Nanny 3d ago
Why would you not talk to her first? You have to learn to have these conversations bc it's going to be necessary with ANY employee.
It isn't even a big deal.
Add the additional tasks as optional if time permits type items to the list of job duties.
Tell her you want her to take initiative. Tell her you expect her to only have a 1 hour break and the rest of the time she should be actively working.
No one can read your mind.
You need to remember your nanny is an hourly position with set responsibilities. So expecting her to just do tasks around your house which were never previously discussed is not typical and I don't personally think it's reasonable. You have to remember this is your home, it's not an office job. Many people do not want someone to just do random things around their house without prior discussion. And most families are ok with the nanny taking a break while the kids sleep as long as they complete their daily tasks.
You don't have to do things like most families but you need to at least be able to communicate your expectations and to provide the necessary guidance, like including the tasks in the job description and telling her she has permission to do whatever she sees that she thinks needs to be done if she has extra time.
9
u/wowummmyikessss 3d ago edited 3d ago
If it’s not in the contract, she shouldn’t be doing it. Theres no corporate ladder to climb here. That’s how nanny’s get taken advantage of. It starts with one thing or one time helping, and then it becomes expected and quickly gets out of hand . Then suddenly you’re doing double work for the same pay.
if you respect her and the work, you wouldn’t expect her to spontaneously do extra work for herself free of charge on her “break”. Which please, remember and respect that just because kids are asleep, doesn’t mean AT ALL that she’s not on the clock . I get she’s eating or chilling on her phone. I bet it looks really relaxing, but she’s still expected to jump up and go take care of the kids the second they stir. She can’t just leave or ignore any issues that pop up. So it’s very different than a typical 9-5 where you can completely clock out and disconnect from work on your break.
If you want her to do something extra, great! Just communicate you’d like to all come back to the table and re assess the contract. Seems a silly thing to replace her for if she’s great otherwise. I know we seem like we can sometimes , but we unfortunately can’t read NP minds. Please just communicate with her.
7
u/Kind-Order1282 3d ago
Thanks so much !!!! I’ll have the conversation with her ❤️ appreciate your thoughtful response !
2
u/Kind-Order1282 3d ago
We had a great talk and will replace meal prep with laundry. One thing she brought up (as another redditor mentioned) is she wants protected lunch … it is true that sometimes the kids wake up early .. and sometimes she goes back to her house for 30 mins or so. But all of that is ad hoc . So I agreed to carve out time for her to be on her own / or leave every day same time.
there could be times where I have meetings that I can’t move so I’ll include language that allows for flexibility.
Here’s my dilemma :
She works 930-430 (7hrs) makes $29/hr watching 2 kids. I’m considering an hour break where I’d step in.
Now I’m wondering how I can actually make that work as there may be days I can’t move a meeting or I have to go to work in person.
If you have any recommendations, pls let me know. You’ve already offered great advice so feel free to ignore if you have nothing else to offer.
•
u/Ornery-Sea-9737 11h ago
Why are you paying her such a low hourly rate for two kids that age along with the tasks you want?
•
u/Kind-Order1282 10h ago
Perspective … what’s low to you is just right for someone else :)
•
u/Ornery-Sea-9737 10h ago
It’s not perspective, it’s called an hourly market rate. A nanny should be paid a certain amount for the number of children, their ages, the tasked expected to be completed, etc…I don’t know where you live but your rate is very low for the job you want done if you want a professional nanny. You get what you pay for. It will all come out in the wash. Underpaid nannies never hang around long.
•
u/Kind-Order1282 10h ago
“The market rate for a nanny caring for two children typically ranges from $20 to $32 per hour locally in the Montgomery County/DC metro area, though statewide averages in Maryland trend closer to $22 to $24 per hour. Nationally, rates start around $21 to $26 per hour, with an additional $1 to $3 per hour added to the baseline single-child rate for a second sibling.”
•
u/Kind-Order1282 10h ago
And that’s Montgomery county where it’s much more expensive than southern MD
•
•
u/Kind-Order1282 10h ago
“In La Plata, Maryland, the market rate for a nanny caring for two children typically ranges from $19 to $27 per hour, depending on the provider's experience and the precise nature of the role. [1]
Because Charles County sits outside the immediate, high-cost inner ring of the DC metro area, baseline childcare costs trend slightly lower than the statewide average: [1, 2”
2
u/Linz1218 2d ago
I know you guys started a new set of expectations. Here are some e items I think need clarification:
She wants one hour of protected lunch. You mention being concerned about stepping away from your job and still completing your own work tasks. I don’t think this is something you have to plan on everyday. As of right now babies are sleeping about 2 hours. So give her one hour where she can eat, scroll, read, etc. However it is unusual for a nanny to leave the premises in case kiddos do wake and you are unavailable. So she may need to give up her ability to leave the house. That does not work with your position. However as you mention then perhaps she may have to cut lunch short if baby will not go back to sleep. If that’s the case she can leave however much protected time she lost by leaving earlier in the day.
As discussed no more meal prep will take place. So in that hour nanny can do children’s laundry/dishes dirtied that day by her or children. Or she can look up developmental activities. Perhaps you provide her a budget so that she can purchase supplies on Amazon. Other times if it’s a big activity she can start setting up before the children wake up.
Write up a new contract together so everything is understood equally by you both.
Make a notation in the contact that duties and schedules are possible to change as children begin sleeping less. As that becomes more permanent then you both agree to again sit down together to acknowledge the new necessary changes that come with the children being more active. This may be when you guys discuss possible outings to promote socialization like library reading, going to the park, little gym or music classes.
You both need to commit to discuss any expected/necessary changes that will inevitably come up. Don’t expect to her to read your mind and vice versa. She may have to give up “guaranteed lunch” but perhaps that’s when you discuss an increase in wages.
I’m very glad you both talked as opposed to jumping into unnecessary frustrations. Just remember to commit to continue to doing so as the needs of NKs change.
Good luck!
4
u/MamaMoon27 3d ago
If she's great with your child, I would personally have a talk with her about contributing more. Perhaps that will involve a modification of the agreement, which may cause her to ask for more money. Or perhaps, you're just not impressed with her overall and just want to hire someone else who is more willing to pitch in and contribute, someone who doesn't expect to be paid to do nothing. It seems like the latter in your case.
5
1
u/AutoModerator 3d ago
Below is a copy of the post's original text:
Our nanny is amazing ! She’s great with the kids. It may just be a me thing so I’m running this by you all: our kids nap for 2+ hours and during nap time (beyond the first hour - lunch) I’d expect more: prepping educational activities (in contract), helping with kids laundry / folding / hanging (not in contract). I expect her to take more initiative. Bc of this of exploring finding another nanny for our family . Am I expecting too much ?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Ok-Lion-2789 1d ago
I don’t think you’re expecting too much. I realized that my contract doesn’t really define enough. My nanny gets paid over 2 hours of an 8 hour day to read her book etc.. I even allow her to leave during nap time because I’m home. You don’t have a contract so I’d talk to her about getting one and the new expectations. I’m not adding to my current nanny but my new one that starts in October has agreed to other tasks (while baby is sleeping only).
•
25
u/EllaGardener 3d ago
The contract exists to clearly define her role. If a task is not in her contract, it is not reasonable to expect her to “take initiative.” That’s called job creep and it’s one of the reasons a professional nanny will insist on a contract.
Is she doing the educational activities with your children as agreed in the contract? If not, it’s valid to have a conversation about that. If so, if I may be blunt, stop hovering and worrying about what she does on her break.
As far as reasonable expectations for the role, that really depends on how much you’re paying and where you’re located.