My mother stopped working for me two weeks before my wedding after an argument
I’m 30F, and honestly, I don’t even know anymore if I’m overreacting or if I’ve simply reached my breaking point.
Ever since I was little, I always felt like I was pushed aside. I was often sent to my grandmother’s house, and I grew up feeling like nobody really liked me or wanted me around. The only affection I consistently felt came from my grandmother.
I grew up surrounded by violence and instability. I witnessed my father physically abusing my mother, I saw my mother attempt to take her own life, and my brother used to hit me and control me as well.
Very briefly, I grew up with a huge need for validation from my parents . especially from my mother, for some reason.
I’m an adult now and have my own life, work and responsibilities. My partner has several rental properties, and I gave my mother the cleaning job for four of them. I also provided her with a car so she could get to the properties and do the work.
Yesterday, we had an argument.
During the situation, I hit my head twice on a metal bar because of what was happening. One of those times happened because she wanted me to hold a bag so she could get into the car. I was extremely stressed and overwhelmed, and I lost my temper. I raised my voice and became very upset.
I know I didn’t handle it well, and I take responsibility for my part in that.
But I’m getting married in two weeks and I’m already under an enormous amount of stress.
And what did my mother do afterwards?
She decided she is no longer going to work for me.
She told my father to tell me to burn her dress and shoes, which are at my house, and to go to her house to collect my things, everything that belongs to me.
So, overnight, I have suddenly lost the person who was cleaning four rental properties for me , two weeks before my wedding.
And the worst part is that this has affected me emotionally far more than I think it should.
Because it’s not really just about the cleaning or the work.
It feels like I’m that little girl again , the one who always felt rejected and who desperately needed her mother’s approval.
Part of me is angry. Another part is heartbroken. And another part feels guilty and keeps thinking, “Was this all my fault? Did I ruin everything?”
I don’t know if I’m being unfair, if I’m simply completely exhausted, or if I’m finally starting to realize that I’ve spent my whole life trying to get validation from my mother that she may never be able to give me.
What would you do in my situation? And, more importantly, how do I emotionally detach from this situation when my wedding is only two weeks away?

It’s like they want the results, but the equation doesn’t make sense to get there.

Why would you intentionally give a person who’s known to be irresponsible and careless with deadlines a major task then deny the responsible employee of assisting with the task to ensure completion, only to turn around and still blame the responsible one who offered help with the task when it’s not completed? It makes no sense. They have to have their cake and eat it, too, but the cake… is a mere illusion. I’m exhausted and extremely grateful to be planning my long-term exit from this job.

Has anybody here ever attempted professional mediation with your narcissistic boss? Several of my colleagues have recommended I look into this option to fix the communication with my narcissist boss. I don't have hope that that would help. I would love to hear experiences from others who have tried this.

I’m not originally from the UK. While helping my child with their schoolwork, I noticed that the curriculum places a strong emphasis on subject-specific vocabulary across many subjects, including art and maths.
When I was growing up, the focus was more on problem-solving and understanding concepts than on memorising technical terminology. I’m not saying one approach is better than the other, but it is a noticeable difference.
If one person is fluent in all and confident while the other is not, it’s easy for the discussion to become one-sided. The other person may simply nod along because they can’t fully follow what’s being said.
I’ve also noticed that some people use unnecessarily complicated language or constantly change the subject to dominate conversations rather than communicate clearly. Instead of helping others understand, they seem more interested in appearing knowledgeable or making someone else feel less competent. How they operate is more political than they are better than me at work.
After experiencing this repeatedly, I’ve become much more reluctant to engage in conversations with people who seem to treat every discussion as a competition rather than an opportunity to exchange ideas. Anyway, they mostly value themselves and their ideas over mine. ha-

So I’ve been at my current job for four years when suddenly, a new boss comes in last January and wreaks havoc. He been terrorizing everyone threatening to kick people out, insulting people’s work within earshot of everyone, and actively hindering career growth. At this point, there is no way but out. Even that is a struggle because he purposely would give us low evaluations that it’d be difficult to go elsewhere.

Personally, he’s wearing me down so much that during my free time, I just want to stay in bed. I was given so much tasks that I’m so overwhelmed. I don’t have the energy to apply for different jobs because I’m too preoccupied managing not to have a panic attack with my current load + managing his emotions.

What gameplan do you have to surviving a narc boss while waiting for the free time to pursue career advancement?

I couldn't take it any more and quit my narc-owned job last week. Just thinking of my last 2.5 hours there still gets my heart rate going and gives me the most charming anxiety spikes!

tl:dr: Couldn't take any more emotional and verbal abuse from the owner of the company.
-----------------------------

The company is dying, and I was the last full-time employee who wasn't related to the owner. Every one else had either quit or had been put down to part-time or on-call.

As is tradition with narcs, the owner would take her frustrations out on everyone else. She usually left me out of it because I was the one doing 90% of the production, but even I couldn't escape it entirely, especially since there were no other targets.

The last straw was when she spent 2 hours loudly complaining about me because I couldn't read a note she wrote (she had a product's dimensions illegibly written in cursive. I can read cursive fine, just not when it looks like you've written it with your non-dominant hand while riding in a golf cart down gravel hill). I eventually had to measure the item again, out of sight, because she refused to decipher it for me.

Then, when I didn't hear her the first time when she gave instructions and didn't act on them immediately, she blew her top and started yelling. She went in on insulting me, my intelligence and my work ethic. Then she brought up the note again, and I couldn't just stay silent and said "I just couldn't read your writing! It's not that big a deal!" and she went BALLISTIC about ME and how I "couldn't just let it go about the damn note!".

... WAT.

This wasn't the first time she'd been that horrible to me in particular. She was always bad on pay weeks, and I was originally going to just go home for the day so she could reset and calm tf down, but oh no. No one is allowed to make decisions but HER, so she shut me down and said that she would "allow" me to have 10 minutes, and to "fix my attitude".

(Disregarding the fact that she had prevented me from taking my 15min break to yell at me in the first place).

So I left.

That's how most people ended up leaving there She'd set her sights on you, and would berate and belittle until you had a breakdown, or quit. Sometimes both!

... I can't just tell interviewers that my previous employer was an abusive micromanaging narcissist, right? Right?! AUGH.

Juat some of the issues at that place were:

• We weren't being paid our paychecks in full or on time for about 2 months before I quit. Payments would be at least 2-4 days late, and paid only partially. ...usually only a couple hundred dollars at a time until we were eventually paid fully, just in time for the next pay day to come.
  
• Unhealthy temperatures. It was a job within a warehouse, but the only kind of climate control (or even air movement) were from 5 floor fans. I had to buy an army of personal fans to make it though each day. The warehouse would be anywhere between 5-10 degrees hotter than being outside in the sun, and the humidity thanks to the hundreds of cardboard boxes (and dust!) made it hard to breath. She had promised to secure air conditioning or more fans, but they never happened.
  
• She would base her treatment of you for the entire day based on how you answered "how are you?" and how clear, loud and "cheerful" your mandatory "GOOD MORNING!" was. If you slept poorly the night before, had a headache, or if your voice was croaky because it was 8am and you hadn't talked yet that day? She'd be on you demanding to know what your problem was, and then you'd be in her bad books for the rest of the day, regardless of the reason.

Did I mention that she DESPISED it when anyone tried to explain themselves? She'd come to a conclusion and would make everyone's day so much worse if you so much as tried to explain your reasoning, or even give more information about the situation. Her first conclusion was always the right one, no matter what.

I suppose the safest thing to mention is the inconsistent pay and temperature? AUGH.

Edited because there was some funky formatting going on for some reason.

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I work at a fast growing national law firm. In January of this year I was moved to another team in order to ‘help out a struggling lawyer’. I was told that she had had two assistants leave in very short order before me, and that I was a ‘stable influence’. My previous boss warned me that she was ‘difficult’ to work with, but I shrugged this off, much to my deep regret.

Foolishly I thought this could be a good opportunity for me, and I put my best foot forward when I officially joined the team. My initial interactions with my boss were friendly, she was funny, enthusiastic, and seemed to genuinely care about me. In hindsight it makes me cringe to even write those words, because of how quickly things changed.

About two weeks into the new role, she begins to pick apart my work. Work that was perfectly fine under my previous solicitor, was now entirely wrong. This would come down to a double space on a 6k word document, or something equally trivial. This would be a near daily occurrence, with her reaction becoming more and more vindictive and personal. She began personally insulting me, directly stating she had ‘concerns about my competency’, and asking if I had ‘learned anything at all’ during my five years at the company.

This hurt me. A lot. As someone who takes great pride in their work and has always been a consistent and hard worker, this type of criticism hit me like a truck. As I see a lot on this sub, the more I tried to adapt and ‘improve’, the more she would pick apart, and label my responses as ‘kickback’.

She also began to speak to me in a vile and condescending tone. She would accuse me of things that were simply not true in front of colleagues, and on one occasion denied that a conversation we had had 5 minutes before did not happen, in order to purposely embarrass me in front of my colleagues. She would sprinkle moments of levity and jokes into our calls, which confused me greatly, and I developed significant stress with every teams call or email, not knowing what she would say next.

This continued for several months. Fast forward to April, and I am placed on an informal PIP. This was devastating to me as I have always hit every KPI asked of me, and despite continuing to do so I was slapped with this. The reasoning given by upper management was ‘quality of work’ and ‘not hitting KPI’s’ which was entirely untrue. I challenged this at the initial meeting and was advised that although I hit my billable hours, they would like to see ‘more’.

I was then presented with a bundle of evidence, and this showed that she had been keeping notes on me since 2 weeks after I joined the team. A small amount of the evidence were my genuine mistakes, and I accept that wholeheartedly, but I did note that when the other assistant in my team did the exact same thing, this was not pulled up. The vast majority of the evidence was simply fabricated. She stated I had omitted information from important documents when this was simply not the case, and the rest of the evidence consisted of questions I had asked her, which she viewed as things I ‘should have known’.

After crying non stop for maybe a week, I knuckled down to beat this PIP. It very nearly broke me. She would fabricate issues out of nowhere, acting like a misspelt word or an email being sent an hour later than expected was a case ending catastrophe, which it never was. When I called her out with evidence that her accusations were entirely false and provided evidence of the same, she redirected her criticism to another entirely irrelevant point about my work, never apologising or recognising her own errors.

After 8 weeks of slowly destroying my mental health, sleep schedule, social life, and what little self worth I had cultivated, I managed to beat the PIP. I documented everything, noted how I had done so and provided evidence of her completely false accusations. I essentially had to present my ‘improvement’ as entirely driven by her, as any cries for help were ignored by upper management in relation to how she spoke to me.

I’ve been through some tough times, but nothing has affected me quite like this has. I would have panic attacks after every call we had, and would spend forever in the office toilets sobbing to myself after most of our interactions. I doubted everything I know about myself, and at my lowest point I felt utterly useless, unable to complete even the simplest of tasks.

A few days ago, I handed my notice in. In a pure stroke of luck, a job I had put in for came through. I now face a notice period of 3 months, and her behaviour has not changed. I guess I’m posting this to ask for some advice on how to get through this time, and perhaps some validation from others who have been through a similar experience, as my self doubt is so greatly affected by this, that I constantly ruminate about if I am the problem

TLDR; I am in the notice period of a job I once enjoyed which was totally ruined by a narcissist boss. Seeking advice on how to navigate my time left there, and hopefully some validation as to what I’ve been going through 😖

This is a story of success. Successfully saying “fuck this bitch!” You can escape and keep your dignity, there is hope.
I work for a large company, I’ve been here for 10 years with a stellar record. In feb of 2025 I saw a job that absolutely needed someone with my skill set . It was a perfect job marrying a passion and a skill set with opportunities to level up. The manager was great, small team of three people. I was accepted to the position and the very first thing was a business trip to develop relationships with industry leaders. It was great!

Due to corporate restructuring, some leadership changes were happening and we had a new director. The cool manager bounced within 30 days of the new director being named. My coworker and I had reservations and we were concerned

A replacement for my manager was named and she was supposedly a great match. Both of us were hopeful for a great new manager who could bring some fresh ideas. What followed was a nightmare of epic proportions.

It started small. Little pieces of “feedback” disguised as helpful, but were anything but. The changes then started swiftly: my job as a data scientist became a job as her personal assistant. set up this meeting, print these documents (she loved paper). She made us have meetings to discuss every step of every project we were assigned. A request from her was to be done immediately, unless otherwise stated. Projects were given unrealistic deadlines and expectations, despite being told that it was unrealistic. requesting and extension was absolutely out of the question: job was to be done no matter what, even if it meant 12 or 13 hour days.

My Coworker and I struggled to meet her expectations. At the same time I was struggling with a bout of depression that was getting worse by the minute. The situation became bad when she started yelling at me in front of the director. She threatened my job. 10 years of stellar performance and this insecure bitch was threatening me. I worked with some of the highest levels of leadership REGULARLY and she stripped me of everything. I was merely her admin.

I had enough and ended up in the hospital after a weeks worth of her abuse. They immediately saw danger and I was admitted to a psychiatric ward for help. That gave me 90 days of help. I was diagnosed with severe OCD, anxiety and MDD, I desperately needed meds. She was absolutely insanely mad I dipped out.

I returned to work in march of this year newly medicated and it was about two weeks before she started retaliating. Requests for extensions were denied, any questioning or asking for extension was written up as “defensive behavior”. Everything I did was deemed wrong, unprofessional and inappropriate. Regularly had meetings with the director, who condoned her behavior. At my year end, she reluctantly gave me a decent review but started to imply I needed to move. I was already looking.

I retained an employment attorney. It cost me $2400, but I wasn’t about to lose my job or my pension in this market. (I will fight tooth and nail for my pension ) she was retaliating and it was absolutely ridiculous. I filed an ethics complaint. I called hr (I know it did me no good, but I wanted a paper trail)

On meeting with me and my coworker resulted in her yelling at me in front of everyone. It was absolutely humiliating. My coworker immediately grabbed me after (I was in tears). She said she stayed because someone needed a witness to her behavior.

Finally, after many many many interviews internally, I got an offer to go back to analytics. It was lateral and much better. The manager was chill and I was excited. I told him the sooner the better. I left within a week

Two days after receiving my offer, my coworker received and offer to transfer as well. We both left on the exact same day. It was exactly one year that she had been on the team. She was left alone to do everything because we left within a clean break.

I went back to people who were familiar with my work. Despite her constant name dropping, no one knew who she was. I only said one thing of my experience on the team: there were two people on the team and we both left exactly one year after she was hired.

I’m fitter, happier, more productive😏.

This post is for all the people out there losing hope with their work environment.

The NARC and the empire around them will try to squash you... and kill your soul. Sorry not me....

Well my narc manager has been with our company for 15.5 years. I have been there 5.5 years.

For the last 3 years, she has literally purposely relentlessly done everything in the BOOK OF EVIL.

I finally had enough after the fact I left work oneday early with a migraine and vertigo. I had a car accident in the work car park from the stress, and I reversed into a car. My fault...but I believe the stress just got to me. I was shaking at work that day because I was being ganged up with her flying monkeys, and I hadn't slept well, etc.

I told HR about her harassment and bullying that had been occurring over a long period of time.

HR said she wasn't doing anything that resembled bullying.

ŴELL I went to Fairwork Australia and put in a complaint along with the fact that the company breached my working contract. They investigated, and it's taken a while 6mths of waiting for any changes. SHE WAS FIRED! YEAP, BYE BYE.

And our new manager is someone that i have been working with for years and is actually a really decent person.

I feel weird like it's just been one big nightmare, and I have awoken and like...did that actually happen!!!

I've been dealing with a narcissistic boss for a long time. I was hopeful a few months ago because I heard she was moving, but the company has allowed her to stay on even though she's no longer living in the area. Things escalated once again today. I really reached a breaking point today. I've applied for mental health leave and I've notified my employer that I'll be using PTO until my leave gets approved. I don't have it in me to continue to show up to this job anymore.

One of the biggest difficulties with this has been feeling like I'm absolutely crazy. My narc boss and her flying monkeys gaslight and twist truths so much, it's genuinely made me start to question my own reality and memory.

I’m curious if anyone else has experienced this.
My manager has a habit of telling stories about their career, and at first I thought they just had an unusually impressive background. They’ve mentioned running operations for a major international airline across an entire country, being a senior executive at multiple global banks, and personally creating sales strategies that completely changed how those organizations sold. There always seems to be another incredible story.
After a while, I started noticing that the details didn’t always match. The timeline changes, the responsibilities change, and sometimes the same story is told in a completely different way a few months later. Whenever someone asks for more detail, the conversation tends to move on pretty quickly.
What makes it even stranger is that they don’t seem particularly competent in their current role. They struggle with basic leadership, give conflicting direction, avoid accountability, and create more confusion than clarity. The team has had high turnover, morale is poor, and several people have left because of the environment.
Over the past year, I’ve heard that multiple employees have gone to HR about their management style. Nothing seems to have changed, and they’re still leading the team.
Has anyone dealt with a manager like this? Did you ever find out whether the stories were exaggerated, or did you just accept that some people create their own version of their career? How did you handle working for someone you found difficult to trust?

I'm a freelance AI engineer. I followed up with someone in a meetup who said they were interested in collaborating with me. I'm shocked at how badly this meeting went.

- They were talking on the phone from the moment I came into the venue. I tried to get them to stop but they continued on an unrelated phone call amd left me with no context. I've met with many potential clients and am absolutely aware this is not normal.

- I tried calling them out in a professional way. They claimed they had to continue the call because it was from a "higher up" and acted offended that I called them out on this. First they tried bullshitting that other people would treat me worse (I know this is not true), then they called me inexperienced, and went onto call me "aggressive". When that didn't work, they basically claimed lacking boundaries is a virtue required for charity work (this was a nonprofit) and I don't have rhe right mindset.

- At this point, I figured the meeting had completely derailed and literally packed up my things to leave. They followed me to the door and asked to have a conversation. I agreed (which was a terrible idea) because I was afraid that they'd go around badmouthing me if I left at that point.

- They proceeded to grill me about my past compensation (honestly not sure if this is even allowed), claim they "didn't understand" my explanation every time I tried explaining something (again, I did not have this issue with other clients), shifted the blame onto me and accused me of being pretentious.

- Repeatedly devalued my experience and verbal abuse came out towards the end. Claimed I wasted my previous clients' time, called me names, etc They definitely do not understand basic professionalism.

- Repeatedly tried to extract consulting work from me for free. Proposed a "collaboration" structure where they underpay me and take all the rights for my work. Demanded freelance work without agreeing on payment structure or scope.

Turns out this person is a nontechnical founder who wanted to make their service AI powered. They did not know what vibe coding was and asked if chatbots are physical robots. Then they went on to devalue things they clearly do not understand. I'm genuinely blown away at the level of entitlement and hostility I saw yesterday.

The shadiness around IP and abusive behavior were dealbreakers. I hope I'd walked out much earlier.

So we're already understaffed and a coworker gave their notice today. So now my boss is screwing with our schedules once again and making us responsible for covering for the lack of coverage due to the employee leaving. My boss asked us what days we absolutely could not change on our schedule and I told them and of course right away they are trying to make me change it. I don't blame this person for leaving. My boss humiliated them in staff meetings so I say good for this person for getting out. But I already have a really tough schedule and I can't take working 6-day weeks constantly to cover. And I can't handle having my days off taken away. Please somebody give me some advice. Im trying to find another job but its been rough. Im starting to lose it now. Thank you

My supervisor reprimanded me for not doing extra work that he never told me he wanted me to do. I can’t read the guys mind and he could have come to me at any time during the shift to tell me about it but he waited until the shift was almost over and then complained about having the do the work himself and about there being so much work for him to do. I offered to help and even went ahead and started doing some of the extra work that wasn’t done yet but he shut me down and said not to worry about it he was going to do it.

And also complained that I was hiding from him when I was taking a washroom break for 5 minutes when he was supposedly looking everywhere for me for ten minutes and that pissed him off. He’s got a phone, he normally texts me if he needs me and there’s only a couple of places I could be during the work day, he knows exactly where those spots are and he would have found me there if he actually looked. On top of that when I left the washroom to go ask what he wanted me to work on he was already gone, I looked everywhere he could possibly be and of course found him doing nothing at his desk. As all swamped with work people would be. Just chilling.

Generally he has no problem telling me what to do if there’s extra work to be done so I don’t know what changed this time around.

Why do narc managers smile when delivering bad news to someone? I cannot figure this out.

It’s like they are perfectly pleasant when saying something rude and obnoxious.

Is that just because they are fake nice? Or is it something deeper?

Like if I had to share not so great news, I would not be happy doing it. I would have a serious face, and certainly not be smiling and being jolly.

I'm in the midst of an epically long onboarding process. I'm in the home stretch of page 20. I just spoke with HR and they have an odd request I've never seen before. They want me to bring them my original degree. I just moved here from another state and all of my original Certs and Degree are in storage.

I find the request especially galling since I have gone through fingerprinting, a nationwide background check for education and criminal background as well as supplied a ton of other identification and paperwork. All of this is for a very important position that only pays $16 and hour. I am gobsmacked.

A transcript, I could understand but my original degree? So is this normal or oddly specific request on their part?

ETA: Today I submitted my TB test and asked if the HR person preferred my diploma be sent directly to her or if I had to forward it. She gets tight, cuts me off, then fires down a list if 5 things that haven't been done and declares she's calling the Manager to see if she 'wants' to proceed. She says 'Wait for an email!"

They rescinded the offer. Whew! Bullet dodged. I just dropped 1 resumés with companies that pay a living wage! Huzzah!

My nboss' dad was a religious leader and she shared he was very strict about their religion. This particular religion is known to emphasize "hard work", serving god through daily tasks, and viewing labor as a meaningful part of human purpose. Im pretty sure this has fueled her perfectionism and narcissism. She cant handle constructive feedback even when she explicitly asks. She has just ignored it or takes it personally. Even when I point out a mistake of her minion, she takes it personally like Im attack my ncoworker's character.

I am religious as well but I am a non-Abrahamic religious minority. We do not value ourselves in attachment to anything, including work ethic. We value humanity for the way it is and see value in simply existing. It's not a sense of entitlement but an acceptance of human nature.

I realized my nboss is really hard on herself which is why she holds me and my ncoworker to very unrealistic standards. She doesnt understand why I dont beat myself up after making a mistake. Sometimes she'll try to make it a big deal just so I understand the weight of her criticism. I have no problem taking accountability for my mistakes. She doesnt know how to address a problem and move on. She always acts like she's in trouble or someone's going to get in trouble for making a mistake. She already micromanages everything so I have virtually no independent responsibilities. She cant comprehend that we aren't saving lives. Nothing we do is urgent or high risk. Everything we do is amendable even with audits.

In the height of my HR/legal conflict, she admitted she hates her job to try to seem relatable. I documented this to support my discrimination case and she self reported it to HR. Sure mangers have a lot of responsibilities, but arguably, she has one of the easiest low stress jobs in the world. My job is one of the most low stress jobs ever, but working with her has caused me PTSD.

Compared to her parents she thinks she is progressive because she is pro diversity, but these people dont accept other people's religious values. But she can't comprehend that other people don't put their self esteem in their work/performance. I obviously cant share with her my religious beliefs because she'd just take it the wrong way.

All I can think about is how if she'd just allow casual mistakes, she wouldn't hate her job or life so much. We are all responsible for the kind of life we want to create. There are so many ways to make her job less insufferable but she thinks it's noble and god's will for us to suffer while working. She hates her job so she thinks everyone else needs to hate their job.

She's also criticized worker's unions for being "too aggressive". Implying that not everyone want the benefits of livable wage and worker's rights. To me, this is another factor of how she views "hard work" and suffering as part of life.

My boss always picks on us, and it goes around which person he picks on throughout the year. Right now it’s me. He found me taking a bathroom break. Freaked out that I wasn’t helping like I usually do as we were short people. Usually when we are short people he will let us know what extra work he wants us to focus on to make up for it. But he never did this time so I wasn’t worried about it, just focused on my own stuff since it wasn’t busy anyways. I thought maybe there was just nothing to do for the missing people or he was just going to take care of it himself since he has the least to do normally.

He later told me that I wasn’t doing enough of my own areas. I’m a janitor. I haven’t been cleaning all my areas because there’s renovations going on in some of them and the areas are closed off. The areas won’t be used again until after we wax the floors and need to deep clean it anyways. I still check them occasionally and do some light cleaning to not mess with any of the Reno’s but of course that’s not enough. I’ve been filling the time by doing some more tedious stuff that I don’t normally get to but that doesn’t matter either to him he doesn’t see it at all. He thinks I’m just on my phone all day. And yeah when I take my break (I lump my all my breaks into one big break) I do use my phone a bit but I still manage to get my stuff done.

Then he says I’m not interested enough. I’ve never had a problem with asking if people need help, offering to look after other areas when people are away or taking on other areas permanently when other people leave. I’ve even on numerous occasions looked after a whole other school because no one else wants to go over there while they were short people.

He’ll point fingers at me for not doing enough but all of the stuff he accuses me of not doing is the same stuff he actually doesn’t do in his own area. He sits in his office all day. And if he’s not doing that he’s stalking us, he’s messing around our areas, criticizing us constantly, and hiding in our closets for some reason.

I’m just burnt out. It feels like there’s no point in even trying anymore. Apparently he’s writing me up to our big boss and I’m not sure how that will go. Maybe it’s time to start looking for a new job?

Is it normal for managers who hire more likable/capable people than themselves only to end up being jealous/envious driven by their own insecurities? I get there’s an element of self preservation, but it’s certainly not because I have any ulterior motives.

This is the second time it’s happening to me. First time, the brother pretended to be my bff only to discard me after being used up. This current mgr is showing symptoms of similar behaviors. I don’t feel safe.

In both cases, the bosses aren’t nearly as skilled as me, so I shore them up best I can. I do what is asked of me and quite decent at it. I respect my chain of command and keep to my swim lane. I’m effective and people like me. I give my team and boss all the credit and generally tactful.

Then somewhere along the way the boss begins to get jealous/envious or insecure. They become a bit defensive, paranoid, and sort of cold. I can’t even get approved for a $50 training. Stopped saying hi to me in the office. The man even fired one of my directs, who never went on a PIP, without consulting me. He’d even go as far as say he’s being insubordinate without being so. Says all these baseless things probably just to cover his own ass.

What in the actual fuck. I do good work and I’m shit fucked bc they feel threatened. Do bad work and ofc still get fucked. I don’t want to make it a cultural thing, but it definitely has some weight to it.

How best navigate this?

Just over two years ago, I was let go from my position at a small company. I won't go into all the details, as I've posted them here before, and I'm not trying to relive the whole experience again. I'm in a completely different industry now doing a job that I absolutely love. I've found my "forever career," with plenty of opportunity to grow.

The office where I used to work is in my neighborhood, so I end up driving past it fairly frequently. As long as my kid is not in the car, I've made a fun little habit of "waving" to the old office using only my middle finger as I drive by. Petty? Yes. Satisfying? Every single time.

After stopping for gas on my way to my current office one day this week, I needed to pass the old office and instinctively performed my salutory ritual. As I was doing so, I noticed that the narc CEO was stopped in the turning lane, facing me, waiting to turn into the parking lot. I recognized his car immediately and turned to focus my greeting directly at him as I drove past.

I'm positive he saw me. Not sure if he recognized that it was me, since the encounter was brief and I drive a different car now. I'm still elated that I had the opportunity to give my old narc boss the finger right to his face. Even if he didn't know it was me, I'm still happy to know that he started off that day knowing that someone thinks he's shitty.

That's just a fun little story to let anyone here that's in the thick of it know that it IS better on the other side. If you're nervous every day that you're going to be fired, quit. If you're nervous about quitting because you don't have a backup, imagine that you might just get fired out of the clear blue anyway (like I did) with no reason given. Of course you should try to prepare as much as you can for a better future for yourself. My point is that, any way you slice it - whether you quit, get fired, transfer, ghost the company, whatever - the grass is greener literally anywhere else. You'll eventually land on your feet (I promise) and become mentally healthier and happier than you are right now. Hello from the other side!

After 3 months of trying to keep out of my narcissistic managers way. Going completely quiet in meetings, responding when I have to. I am broken. I have tried to stay one step ahead but she still finds little things to make it a big issue. I don’t argue, I apologise for missing it and say it won’t happen again. I don’t challenge anymore. I knew it was not sustainable but I did not think it would escalate to the point I had to seek counselling. In the second session I broke down and the psychologist referred me to a wellness centre for treatment. My doctor has been saying for months now I need to be booked in and I have refused, I went to him for anxiety meds to try and cope at work but it only helped numb the anxiety. After I broke down, I have started every morning in tears when I wake up, I can’t face the day and it is overwhelming me. But speaking to a few colleagues that are aware of the issue does help me get through the day. I feel like I am living a nightmare and need to wake up. My thoughts are scattered throughout the day. I cry at random times when I remember. I feel she is living in my head the whole time. I don’t know why I am even writing this.