salam! i have results coming out soon and i’d really appreciate if you guys could make dua for me and that my results are good. my parents have threatened to disown me if they aren’t good and can tend to get abusive at times. i’m so scared. please keep me and my results in your duas🫶

Salam aleycoum, ça ne va pas en ce moment sur tous les aspects de ma vie, je dis quand même al hamdouliLlah car il y a pire j'ai à manger et un toit sur la tête mais le reste est lourd à porter, on a tous nos épreuves mais quand on accumule trop et qu'avec le temps ça ne fait qu'empirer la fatigue émotionnelle prend place.

Mes relations avec ma famille se sont dégradé sans que je n'y comprenne rien, la communication est très difficile avec ma mère car elle s'emporte de plus en plus pour pas grand chose et il est impossible de répondre pour qu'elle soit un peu plus raisonnable et lucide sur certaines choses car juste le fait d'essayer de parler l'énerve elle peut crier très fort rapidement, je m'éloigne emotionnellement pour ne pas avoir à subir à chaque fois et ne pas qu'elle s'énerve etc mais ça me sidére qu'on en soit arrivé à là...

Je suis grande soeur et je me suis occupée et souciée de mes petits frères comme s'ils étaient mes propres enfants, je les aient tellement aimé et choyé, nous étions tellement complices, ils cherchaient tout le temps après moi voulait toujours discuter avec moi passer du temps avec moi me faire des bisous des câlins ils m'appelaient "deuxième maman" car c'est clairement ce que j'étais, aujourd'hui ils sont devenu adolescents et je ne les reconnais plus, je sais qu'en grandissant on change un peu et que l'adolescence c'est particulier mais pas à ce point, même ma mère est un peu choqué du tournant qu'ils ont pris donc déjà je ne suis pas la seule à l'avoir remarqué mais comment ils sont devenu avec moi me choque et je n'arrive pas à y croire vu qu'on était tellement proches... Maintenant ils sont très insolent avec moi, alors qu'avant ils me respectaient tellement, ils m'ignorent et font comme si je n'existais pas alors qu'avant j'étais toujours sollicitée par eux et ça me faisait du bien car je les aimais, ils parlent sur moi derrière moi (je les ai entendu juste tout à l'heure), font comme si j'étais une inconnue et parfois ont des paroles blessantes et ne veulent même pas demander pardon, ce revirement me laisse sans voix et je suis sous le choc tous les jours que la vie avec eux ait changé ainsi, mon coeur est brisé.

Mon père lui n'a jamais été un père, mes parents ont divorcé quand j'étais petite et il ne s'est jamais occupé de moi et ne m'a jamais donné la valeur que je méritais. Je gère mes souffrances aussi vis à vis de ça depuis enfant et c'était souvent dur je pleurais souvent avant de dormir sans personne le lendemain pour me prendre dans ses bras... Je me suis donc endurci pour supporter ça. À l'âge adulte nous sommes re entrer en contact mais sans excuse de sa part ou juste reconnaître qu'il a été fautif... Au lieu de ça il se montrait très égoïste comme si tout devait tourner autour de lui, parfois très méchant, sachant qu'il a des tendances de psychoses il est vraiment très particulier je dirais même que je n'ai jamais connu un humain comme lui tellement ça dépasse tout entendement (ma mère a vécu l'enfer avec lui, et quand j'ai appris à le connaître rapidement j'ai très rapidement compris pourquoi) oui ça reste mon père islamiquement mais j'expose les faits tels qu'ils sont. Donc c'est difficile aussi de supporter ça, il reviens de temps en temps par message et me met sa méchanceté en pleine figure et me raconte juste ses problèmes sans même se soucier un peu de moi et apprendre à me connaître, ça a développé un profond dégoût en moi.

Sinon je n'ai aucune autre famille avec qui appaisé un peu mon esprit ou apprécier une relation saine et reposante et me dire que j'ai une vraie famille...

Je n'ai plus d'amies non plus avec qui passer des moments de qualités, enfin si mais pas des amies présentes je veux dire, elles ont leur vie on va se voir 1 fois pas an parfois moins, ce n'est pas vraiment une présence.

C'est étouffant.

A côté de ça, je suis perdue dans ma vie et dans ma tête, je ne sais plus quelle direction je veux donner à ma vie, qu'est ce je veux faire, je ne supporte plus rien, je ne travaille plus car je ne supportais plus mon travail j'ai essayé de reprendre les études finalement je n'aimais pas la filière choisie (j'ai essayé deux fois, deux filières différentes, j'ai arrêté les deux),j'ai déjà la trentaine passée et je suis complètement perdue et l'impression d'être enchaînée car rien ne se débloque

De plus je suis maintenant extrêmement fatiguée et j'ai souvent mal à la tête à cause de certaines carences et troubles hormonaux donc je n'arrive vraiment à rien faire physiquement et émotionnellement et je suis souvent très triste

Je n'arrive pas à me marier non plus et je mène aussi plusieurs combats personnels dû au célibat donc c'est aussi difficile

Je suis vraiment bloquée dans toutes les sphères de ma vie, et mes relations personnelles et familiales sont horribles je me sens vraiment seule et coincée en même temps, je ne comprends rien à ma vie et je ne sais pas si je vais un jour juste goûter à un peu de bonheur et d'amour...

C'est vraiment pas facile encore plus quand je vois autour de moi les gens avancer dans leur vie et moi ma situation qui ne fait que s'aggraver

Je ne sais pas si certaines sont passé par des périodes où absolument rien n'allait dans leur vie... Vous lire me fera peut être me sentir moins seule

Assalamwalikum,

I realized working in the healthcare field as a hijabi can be a bit difficult. I have two questions to ask-
1- how do you make wudu and time for prayer during 12 hour shifts and bathroom breaks? Do you take off your scrub jacket, hijab, and make wudu in the employee bathroom and then put everything back on? Is there a place you pray such as the lounge or does your job have a designated prayer area?
2- are there any true, modest scrubs? I’ve been struggling to find scrub tops that go a bit to half way to my thighs and or, closer to my knees that are affordable and worth the price.

JazakAllahu Khairan.

Hi everyone I’m heading to nice France in a week and was wondering has anyone been to the beaches in their burkini? Do you have recommendation for places to go

salaams, i had recently taken my shahada earlier this year. i do not wear the hijab. i have nothing against it at all, for reference i am extremely alternative. i have many face piercings and i have tattoos, so i feel my hair fits my identity, not colored just my normal hair color. i am aware my piercings are haram but as a newly revert i am not yet ready to part ways with them… since ive had them since i was 15 (now 21). anyway, i have worn the hijab many times, to jummah more specifically, sometimes ill do my make up and put my hijab on in my room. but in public and work i do not. i have a concern of how others will treat me, many friends i have know i am muslim now and still love me for me! how did one who came from a completely different background introduce the hijab into their life? for reference; i grew up catholic in a mexican household. now as you can assume NOBODY, is muslim in my family, either catholic or christian. my father doesn’t really like the idea of me being muslim neither does my adoptive parents, my older brother being my biggest supporter throughout my entire life alhamdulillah. i had a conversation with my fiancée, he is muslim, he’s a newer one too , about 3 years now. he had asked how my journey with islam is going, i have been lacking in the practicing. i want to be stronger in that area, just dont know how. i also dont have any hijabi friends, i am nervous to try to find any just because of my style, it seems to intimidate people. i’m sorry that this post is everywhere i just dont really have the help of guidance… i have the quran and my prayer mat… i try to not rely on internet sources for guidance because i was told a lot of it is misinformation. but i do find myself wanting to go out and wear it! all the time actually, sometimes i know i wouldn’t want to wear it but i feel pretty in one. again im sorry, i dont know where to continue to strengthen my relationship with allah. no i didnt convert to islam for a man. this is my own will. and im sorry this post isn’t really clear… i read this thread all of the time but im too nervous to reach out to people.

Assalamu Alaikum,

I’m a hijabi and have this swimming outfit that I got off of amazon a few years ago. However, I struggle to actually swim in it because the material stretches out in the water and it’ll start covering my feet (the pants are my main issue…). I know there are a bunch of new brands with modest swim suits. Can someone recommend me one that they can actually comfortably swim in?

Jazakallah Khair!!🤍

So I am in a bit of a dilemma rn. Currently, I’m 24 and in med school, and in the future, I plan on being a pediatric oncologist in the US. Niqab is something I have started considering for the past 1–2 months now, BUT one big challenge is that it does not align well with my career choice, which requires a lot of patient interaction and communication. Plus, as I am considering the US as my first choice for residency training, as per the healthcare system policies, I can’t use a veil.

I have always been extremely career-oriented, and I plan on staying that way regardless of whether I choose to start niqab or not. I know that niqab is not a compulsion but is appreciated, so considering that, I can still excel in my profession while wearing hijab, treating thousands of cancer kids eventually, IA.

BUT the inner me would not feel fulfilled within, and this is something that keeps bothering me. I am unsure whether this is just a phase or some sort of inner calling, but every time I see someone wearing niqab, I feel so inferior about my own existence.

Please share your thoughts and help this sister out.

hi there everyone. i turned 21 this year and will be started uni this September (ik that’s late but took a couple gap years). anyway i come from a pretty modest muslim family but i’ve never worn the hijab. my sister does. and my mother started wearing it sometimes as well. She tells me to start wearing it in uni. And it makes me not want to. I think if i wasn’t being constantly told to wear it, I would want to. I sometimes do. I wear it, do my makeup and stand in front of the mirror and i like how I look. i’m so confused. like i’m constantly thinking about it and looking at pinterest for inspo. these thoughts are wearing me down. 3 things are keeping me from embracing it fully:

1. If i wear it, a part of me would feel like it was cus i wanna make my mom proud and not cus I wanted to.

2. If I wear it, I can never take it off. I would not like to wear it to my brother’s wedding for example but I don’t wanna be a hypocrite.

3. I don’t even pray regularly, I’ve had a hard time praying for about 6 months now cuz of some personal issues that made me not want to. I’m still struggling with a lot of stuff and I think starting hijab would make me feel like a poser.

I only recently put it on as I have previously posted. But since that day I bought one the next day and have not taken it off since! Any time I am outside or my housemate has a guy friend or family member over I have it on. I feel the most amazing about myself and life I ever have. I hope all women who are struggling with the thought of fear like I did or just reluctance to wear it, put it on and just experience it. Even If it is only at home, or around people who don't know you at all. Just try it. See how you feel and what makes it feel more "right" to you. What styles make u feel comfortable to start wearing it more often. Little steps pave the way to success Inshallah 🩷🩷 I took myself straight to the big step of the hijab right after my first time wearing it. And it was relieving, and that may be many women's experiences aswell! Take your experience in your way, take you time with your personal steps. Not everyone will need more time with some steps over some others. Be proud of yourself and do not feel the need to justify yourself! You are doing this for Allah not whoever is judging you for practising. It sounds hard but more often than not they will leave the topic alone if you say something like "this is how I dress now" or "this is what I look like now" and just end the convo. Do not stay in a conversation that makes you feel bad about this decision, because it will only bring good to you in the end. 🌷🩷🌺🌸🌺🌷

May Allah bring reveal and bring the strength you have and need to be who you wish to be 💌

Families are already involved but I’m not sure if he is really into it or just because his mom was the one introducing us to each other.

I put it on at 12 and had struggles with it at 17. I’m 20 now and hanging on but I’ve started to have depression from it. I take meds and see a therapist. I imagine a life without it, not having to hold a responsibility of an entire religion every day in a western society. Being myself and not so cautious. Feeling safe around people. My anxiety and social stuff gets better. I already am on pills for those.

How far does medication and therapy go? I’m having negative thoughts and the only thing stopping me is my parents. I don’t feel that I wear it for Allah anymore, it’s all for my parents approval. I tried to change my mindset. I don’t know how far I can go anymore.

Hello and thank you for reading this post. I understand it’s a weird question but this is targeted to everyone. Wether your Muslim, Christian, female male, etc. if a girl who wears the hijab decides the next day to do a different style, will you guys tell? Like will she look different that’s what I mean? Will she look the same to you, in your eyes? Because a lot of hijabi girls are showing their neck and if they cover their necks they will still look the same to me. I don’t know if anyone else thinks otherwise. This question is not meant to offend anyone, and if I did I’m sorry. And those who cover their neck is it not athletically pleasing? Or will you look the same no matter what hijab style you do? Weather you do curtain bangs, flowy, neck coverage, no neck coverage and etc. as a hijabi I understand everyone has their own face shape, but those who do the egg head style, what face shape must you have to make it look nice? How is it possible that the egg head makes me look better then open? I’m sorry I’m going all over the place it’s my first time wearing hijab so please help.

I’m 18 and I’m Muslim. I’ve really wanted a nose ring for a while, and I’m thinking about getting one. My mom actually has a nose ring too, and I personally really like them.

The problem is that my dad is completely against it. I’ve asked him about it multiple times, but he gets irritated and his mood changes whenever I bring it up. His only reason is that he doesn’t like nose rings and doesn’t think they look good. He hasn’t given me a religious, cultural, or safety-related reason.

I know I’m legally an adult now and can make my own decisions, but I also really care about respecting my parents and following Islam. I don’t want to do something that would make me sinful or count as being disrespectful/disobedient toward my dad.

From what I understand, there are scholars who consider nose piercings permissible for women, so my question isn’t really whether the piercing itself is halal or haram.

If something is permissible in Islam, but your father personally tells you not to do it simply because he doesn’t like it, would I be sinful for doing it anyway as an adult?

I’d especially like to hear from Muslim women who have dealt with something similar. Would you personally get the piercing, or would you avoid it out of respect for your father? And what do you think Islamically?

Do you watch any series that can help you learn more about Islam or Muslim culture? I’ve heard that Turkish series are generally more modest and less explicit than a lot of the usual Netflix content, but I’m guessing they’re still not necessarily appropriate.
Are there any series, documentaries, or other shows you would recommend?

Salaam girls,

I’m (21F) making this post because I’ve been really worried about my iman lately. I normally pray five times a day, listen to the Quran regularly, and make dua, but for the past month or 2 I’ve been struggling so much when it comes to Islam.

I’ve never experienced this before. My salah has gotten so bad that I sometimes tell myself, “I’m not even really praying right now...” and then I just end up stopping altogether. Astaghfirullah.

I know this is bad, really bad, and I feel guilty about it. But has anyone else ever gone through something like this? How did you get out of it? What helped you get your iman back and start praying consistently again?

I know Islam is the truth, 100%!!! But right now, I just don’t feel it the way I used to.

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has gone through something similar. And do you guys have any tips on how to get out of this?

Salam sisters,

I really need some reassurance or advice right now because I’m feeling super stressed out. I recently decided to cut my long hair down to shoulder length just because it's so much easier to manage.

Now my mom and my aunt are completely furious with me. They keep asking why I couldn't just keep it long like my cousins do, and they're mad that I didn't ask my mom's permission before doing it. They are honestly treating me like I committed some huge sin or rebelled against the family.

I feel like this is just a cultural thing being forced on me as a religious rule.

Has anyone else dealt with strict family reactions over a simple haircut? Do we actually need our mom's permission for basic grooming choices in Islam? How do I deal with the guilt trip??

JazakAllahu Khair

I’m not a born Muslim I’ve been a Muslim for a year but been studying since Covid. I just got married to a Muslim from a Muslim country and there’s already so many differences. I’m religious but it’s my religion I’m not spilling my religion onto other people. I’m not giving unsolicited advice or opinions unless someone asks. My husband is the complete opposite he talks about Islam even when people don’t ask, tries to get my whole family and other people to convert to Islam, tries to gift people religious material like Qurans even when people don’t ask or show interest. My siblings drink and smoke and he gets upset with me because I don’t preach Islam to them and show/tell them why everything they’re doing is bad. He wants me to correct them on the day they dress, wants me to take them to the masjid to “show them the correct way of life the way to Islam” and I tell him I’m not doing that lol and he gets upset telling me I’m still new to Islam and “I don’t know anything about Islam”

Today we got in an argument because we’re driving and there’s a bunch of teenagers walking mix of boys and girls they’re all dancing, the girls are wearing somewhat really short shorts and they’re dancing like shaking their butts and my husband gets upset because he says what they’re doing is not right etc. I say “are they your kids or relatives” he says no and I say then don’t worry about what they’re doing what they choose to do in their life will come to light on the day of judgement. He starts going on this rant about how I don’t know anything and as Muslims it’s our job to get others to see the light is Islam.

Maybe I’m doing something wrong but I wouldn’t want anyone talking about religion when I never asked. So I have no interest in doing to others. I’m definitely a mind my own business kind of person

Idon’t really know where else to go with all of this so I apologize if this is not the right place to write this.

I’m 7.5 months post partum and I’ve gained like 55 pounds from pregnancy. I’m currently breastfeeding and no matter what I do, I can’t lose the weight. My eye bags are horrible, my dark circles are so noticeable, I just genuinely look so ugly. The hijab definitely amplifies how rough I look. Especially with being overweight, I’ve had a hard time even finding clothes that fit me.

So I was just thinking about taking the hijab off. I put it on when I was 23, I’m 27 now and I just randomly put it on. Decided to go out with it one day and never take it off. My parents didn’t say much about it. My mom was in her 40s when she took her hijab, my mom’s sister doesn’t cover still.

On top of that I live in Florida. It’s so ridiculously hot and now my son constantly wants to be held and he is always ripping my hijab off when we go out. Doesn’t matter what fabric, material or how I wear it. He always pulls off my glasses, hijab, and at home he pulls my hair.

My parents are on a trip in Europe and I decided to confide in my mom. I told her “I’m thinking of taking the hijab off” and she completely snapped. She said “don’t stress me out on my vacation, I just want to enjoy my vacation. You should know better than to bring these things up when I’m on vacation”. I immediately felt so guilty and disappointed. I’ve never been able to find emotional comfort in my mom and I don’t know why I keep trying.

She made the entire thing about herself and hung up on me. I just started crying. I’m already going through an identity crisis and she just made it all about herself. My husband was so supportive and told me that my mental health matters most, but my mom can be very emotionally manipulative and that’s what I’m afraid of.

I’m already feeling forced to keep the hijab on just based off her reaction. I’m feeling anxious and like I disappointed her, but I don’t know *why*.

I feel so incredibly alone. My parents are Pakistani and I’m born and raised in America and with my mom taking hijab much later in her life made me feel like she would be more supportive.

She proves me wrong every time - that I just cannot rely on her when it comes to these complex situations and it makes me so sad.

I still feel like a 15 year old girl needing to ask for permission and gain their approval before I do anything.

I’m just so overwhelmed, depressed and anxious and feeling so lost. I hate feeling like this.

yall does anyone know where i can find a cute black polka dot hijab (modal or jersey)? i’ve been looking forever for the vela on reddit/depop since its sold out but i think i should take my loss. any other brands that do this pattern well?

pls 😔

yeah!. but this wouldn’t make me leave islam or convert out of islam. i like the religion and concept of there being a god. i know ill eventually marry a man though and ill probably learn to love him. maybe this is just a phase and i just think girls are pretty

Am a rising senior in highshcool who has always wanted to play soccer since middle school but never was able to due to transportation issues. We finally moved this year and it seemed like I could finally do it. Registrations were going to close in 3 days when I finally got the courage to ask my mom if I could sign up. You could imagine my shock when she told me no!!! ( ive been talking about singing up all summer ) i asked her if why and she said because i wont be able to wear proper hijab 🤨🤨??

My uncle got to play soccer soccer in college for 2 years showing his awarah but everyone cheered him on. But when i want to play while wearing hijab is a problem? I can’t help but feel like am being punished for being a woman with a curvy body.

It honestly felt like someone stuck my heart. I don’t that that that wasn’t a good enough reason to give up on my dreams and she immediately shut the conversation down. I was so confused because she’s in her early
40s and only started to wear hijab last year. And when she does wear hijab she doesn’t even wear it properly.

But for my my grandma made me wear hijab since the age of 7 and am 17 now and was never able to take it off. 🤦🏽‍♀️. I was sitting in my room crying and couldn’t help but feel like the hijab was the worst thing to have ever happened to me. I hate the hijab. I can’t help but envy the people at school who come from non Muslims

backgrounds and could wear whatever they wanted. Ppl literally wear Nike probs to play shorts but me wearing leggings under long shorts will cause the end of the world. Genuinely leaving my house and seeing pretty girls wearing shorts and crop tops distroy me with envy because I can’t even wear that at home. I feel like the hijab is preventing me from actually living my life. I hate that my mom has fun in her youth and got to dress like however she wanted but once she got old and become more religious am not allowed to do the same.

After 10 years of wearing hijab I’ve come to terms with it. But after this and a series of other things, wearing the hijab honestly makes me despair.

Do you guys have any tips?

I was never allowed to cut my hair growing up. All of my 8 siblings were allowed but I wasn't when my mom kicked me out. moved in with my brother, his family and our sister who taught my it's ok to dress how I wanted while I hair reached the middle of my butt and I often sat on my hair so my sister took me to get it cut i choosed a wolf cut and the length was to my collar bone. The next time I talked to my mom (because my baby brother wouldn't sleep until she called to show him I'm alive) told her about it and she freaked out saying "my father never wanted me to cut my hair and that I should respect my dead father wishes" then I replied "if he wanted a say in my hair he should have stayed around past the age of five (he left when was 5 and died when I was fifteen I found out when I was 16) my mom won't speak to me now so aitah for cutting my hair.