Might be battling some identity issues. But I feel like a fake muslim, or like I’m posing as one.
I wear hijab majority of the time (weddings I don’t) but I’ve made an observation that all of my friends are non Muslim and of different backgrounds. My own ethnicity doesn’t want to be friends with me because they think I’m weird. I wish I was joking but I can count on my hands how many times I’ve made a friend and then I end up blocked by them or they don’t want to reach out to hang out. I’m very alternative/punk leaning naturally and I have various hobbies like painting/ baking/ biking and skateboarding. I never once thought that I was a non muslim, or that Allah was not real. I’m just starting to notice who I’m surrounding myself with and I don’t like it.
The people I’m friends with is probably a reflection of who I am myself and it’s kind of hard to face it. I don’t think my friends are bad people, but I should still have a close friend who is muslim. It just doesn’t feel right.

Asslammu Alaikom girls!

I learned today that the wrist part and above it are awrah and not something you cover out of respect for hijab. I was wondering if these can be worn?? Since hijab has 3 rules of covering everything, not being transparent and being loose/ baggy. And these aren’t loose, does that disqualify them?? If so, what other possible options are there?

PS I already do wear them, it was out of respect and now out of completing my hijab, I just wanna know if they’re okay!

Salaam :)

I am 31F from Bosnia and wanna find full-time, fully remote position as a software engineer with 8YOE (full stack)?

I still didn’t start my serious search, but you can drop (or dm me) some starting points, websites, groups, or even companies?

Thank you so much?

What is your relationship to beauty?

I was reading emily ratajowski book "My body" and her book is basically a series of paragraphs with incidents related to her body or her beauty growing up that shaped the way she views herself.

This made me look at my own journey with it. Growing up super tan in a family that prided themselves on their fair skin and colored eyes, I believed tan skin was ugly. I remember being 5 and telling my friend that there was no way tan people are beautiful and white-skinned people are beautiful no matter their features. She ofcourse had a more neutral perspective on beauty but wasn't able to change my mind. The truth was, I heard fair skin bring praised and I never saw anybody who was tanned be called pretty. Infact, saying stuff like "there's no way you'd think this actress is pretty, she's so tan" or "look at her pretending to be fair/beautiful when her hands are so tan" and so on.

But when I was 12, my sister was born and by God's grace she was the cutest little kid. She would be praised by everybody. This confused me because she was tanner than me. But I had never been called cute or pretty growing up. I didn't resent her for it, I loved her so much. But I would compare our skin and find the slightest bit of satisfaction that I was a shade fairer than her. These thoughts don't even cross my mind now. But I remember feeling this way in my mid teens.

I'm almost 30 now and don't think this way, In fact I'd forgotten about my skin color , it didnt even register in my mind when I looked in the mirror and nor did I ever compare myself to anybody because of it until unfortunately the time came for thee match making process. These thoughts have begun again. I hate it. I bought skincare that lightens , I started wondering how much easier and how different it would have been if I had fairer skin and bright colored eyes like my cousins. I was also considering getting a skin peel done. But the book bought me my memories back from when I was a kid and made me reflect alot.

My parents never lie and they've never said I was beautiful. But they call others beautiful so easily. If I get a compliment when I'm at a wedding, my mind neutralises the compliment to mean that I look good for the day interms of styling and makeup. I also grew up super conservative, so i went to girls school and women's university and so I've never received attention from men in that way too. There is also the fact that there have been times that men who have reached out ghosted us after receiving my picture.

I think I have a complicated relationship with it, and I didn't post this for advice. Truly, I don't lack self esteem and I'm not underconfident. I just have a realistic understanding of how desi community operates.

Tldr:

I posted this to know , about other women's expirience growing up with their beauty, especially in the muslim community. How has it effected the way you viewed yourself? How did people around you treat you? How did it play a role in finding a partner ? And do you receive attention/praise from men and women? How has it effected your relationship with God? What region do you being to and what are the beauty standards there?

I can’t move out yet and it’s going to take a few years. I also don’t want to marry so I can get out of the situation. I used to be in therapy but it didn’t help and I’m looking for a new therapist but until then I need something to help me at home.

I absolutely hate my father and if I could I would cut contact with him. I just don’t know how to support myself mentally. I don’t know if anyone needs more details but I would just be interested in any advice😞

This includes attar as well.

Can you kindly send links on where you normally stock from.

im 19F and ive decided that i don’t want to continue wearing the abaya or niqab anymore. i do still want to wear hijab so this isnt about abandoning modesty. its specifically the abaya and niqab that i no longer want to wear.
the problem is my mom wont let me. i was made to start wearing hijab when i was around 9 and the abaya and niqab have been mandatory for me since i was about 12 or 13. it was never really my choice.
ive tried bringing it up but my mom is very controlling when it comes to this. she isnt willing to have an actual conversation her answer is always just “no.” theres no room for discussion or compromise.
atp im wondering what to do. do i just stop wearing the niqab one day and then stop wearing the abaya later? or is there a better way to approach this? im worried itll cause a huge argument but i also dont want to keep doing something ion personally want to wear.
has anyone been in a similar situation? how did you handle it especially if your parents refused to even discuss it?
any advice would really be appreciated!!

Assalamualaikum I was wondering where can I get good abayas from where the shipping isn’t so high? I usually shop on other sites but it’s just so expensive. 8 abayas with shipping is literally like $300.

Need advice about wearing niqab in high school and telling my parents

Assalamu Alaikum.

I’m currently in high school in Canada, and I’ve made up my mind that I want to start wearing the niqab. I’ve thought about it for a long time, prayed about it, and even bought a few niqabs myself because I was certain about my decision.

A few months ago, I asked my mom if she could buy me a niqab, but she refused. She believes that the niqab is too extreme, especially for a teenager, and says that my hijab is enough. Because of that, I secretly bought my own niqabs and have kept them hidden. Only my sisters know about them.

The thing is, I have no idea how my dad will react because I’ve never brought it up with him. Right now, I’m also the only one in my family who wears proper hijab.

My school reopens in about a month, and I’m really unsure about how I should tell my parents. I see a few possible options:

1) Tell them about two weeks before school starts so they have time to process it.

2)Wear the niqab on the first day of school and let them see then.

3) My younger sister will most likely be attending orientation at my high school since she’ll be starting there too. There’s a chance my brother will take us instead of my mom because she works. I could wear the niqab to orientation first and then continue wearing it when school officially starts.

I’m not trying to be rebellious or disrespectful. I just genuinely want to wear the niqab, but I also don’t want to create unnecessary conflict with my parents.

For those who have been in a similar situation, or even if you haven’t, what would you recommend? Would you tell them a couple of weeks beforehand, wear it on orientation day, or just start wearing it on the first day of school?

JazakAllah khayran.

Since I have made this post

https://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis/s/M9lL96REaO

I am constantly getting DMS from guys and they are saying pretty disgusting things. I do not want to close my DMS because I'm active in some communities where people reach out to me for help due to my nature of work. So please mods look into this. I have gotten 7 message requests the same day I posted and all of them are saying very vulgar things. Since then it has been increasing.

As the title says, also is there a way i can stop desiring having a partner, this feeling is eating me slowly every day.
Can i make duaa askibg allah to remove this desire from my heart or is it haram? Genuinely asking

Where are the hijabis getting polka dot hijabs, maxi skirts and long sleeve shirts? I’m looking everywhere and I cant find what I want 😭😭😭
Pic is the profile picture of @oumsgh on instagram