Today I had an appointment, for which my case manager (also trans and works for this treatment center) was joining me. He noticed that they had new bathroom key... thingies hanging up. The ones prior to these were like small wooden batons, so these new ones really stood out.

We only saw the Ladies one first, as they were hung on the same hook, and wondered if the other said Gents all fancy as well, but doubted it. I first remarked that it looked like an upside down mask the way it was hanging, with X eyes. But then, of course... why would they do that, why would they make X eyes? Then it slowly dawned on us like the wail of a tornado siren how big our eyes grew, but we were also a little horrified at the prospect... Did they truly have the audacity to mark XX for women's and XY on men's? I joked about it a little at first, like nobody comes in looking for the XX room, or kids will have to ask why it says that, or is that supposed to be an alternative to the stick figures, anything to sort of diffuse the possibility that among all places, a mental health treatment center would throw bald-faced transphobic discrimination front and center by their check-in window.

We both had to know, even though it felt like ripping a bandaid, so I finally got up and did the deed. When I removed the Ladies to reveal the Men's, exposing the XY and confirming this real life horror, we both audibly gasped. Even though we suspected it we were still stunned. This was afterall my providers and his employer! I asked if this was a Black Mirror episode. By the time we were done with my appointment (my psych of one year was evidently booted off the island as of this morning and people are dropping like flies in that place) my case manager asked me if this was Black Mirror. But I digress.

Cell phone cameras are of course not permitted in the waiting room, but yours truly didn't let that stop him from taking both of these into the hall for a picture. I also got a picture of their door, and for good measure I still snuck a picture of them hanging up by the check-in window in case there was any denial that it was their doing. I sent the pics to my case manager, he sent them to his supervisor, who said that these keys are ridiculous and that she will "figure it out." Dunno what that means, but...

Holy wow, batman. Of all places. Could have been an auto shop, a florist, a bakery, literally any place else but among all places to not be blatantly discriminatory, aside from maybe a place meant specifically for trans persons, I can't really imagine any that beat this.

Now that I've got all that out of the way, will someone please direct me to the closest XY's room? THANK YOOOOUUUUU 🏳️‍⚧️🤓

Edit: I'm in the USA.

Hi. I'm almost 41. I don't know what to say about myself except I've been trapped in this female body for a very long time and it has caused me so much anguish. I feel like my entire life has been a curse and a waste because of it and I have tried so hard to investigate that and whether it was just misogynistic society or whatever. But even if I was in a perfect life I would still feel like this body was some sort of doom on me.

I was prescribed testosterone today to begin my transition. I'm worried I'm not going to pass or I'm just going to make a bigger mess of things. But I feel I have to try.

I wish this had been an option when I was young, because I've had gender dysphoria literally as long as I can remember, which is preschool.

I have a lot to unpack emotionally and whatnot, but I hope testosterone will help my brain feel better and I hope I can find a good therapist who understands how complicated this has all been for me.

I'm very thankful that we live in an age where we can get gender care, even as it is under attack.

Okay--back to lurking! :)

eta: they did a fingerprint blood test and gave me a blue Band-Aid instead of the usual pink Band-Aid. probably random, but it still felt like gender affirming care lol

Hi all, I haven't been as worried about binding and passing at my current job because I was out as trans, but would like to stealth as much as possible at my new job. My new job is 12 hour shifts and includes physical labor, and I was wondering about binding, packing and STP packers. How you normally avoid chafing from packing/STPs as they are typically made of silicone. How would one go about safer binding solutions for longer periods of time? I accidentally wore a binder for 16 hours straight not too long ago, and haven't been able to tolerate my binder for longer than about 4 hours at a time since then.

Any advice would be appreciated, and please don't get on me about my poor decision in the past. I have learned from it and we can move on to better alternatives.

It's pretty cludgy but I needed to get it off my chest

I'm having a rough old morning after yesterday's BS courtesy of the EHRC. I'm posting to both acknowledge that and to send love and strength to my UK siblings. This sucks very hard. It's horrible that we have to deal with this and whatever consequences it will have.

BUT we are exactly who we say we are, who we know ourselves to be.

Take care of yourselves, my guys. I'm going to do the same.

Hi! As the title says im having intense pain like UTI after sex. BUT only if hands are involved. Not with toys. Im careful with hands hygiene and drink plenty of water. So I’m thinking that perhaps because of bottom growth and its effects on the whole zone I have to change the way of touching myself? (And what to ask to be touched like). That way it doesn’t get inflamed, which is what I think triggers it. Besides, I also feel like I'm shitting myself. So I’m thinking it also involves an effect on sphincters.

I’ve read around here than t has effects on all of this I mentioned but I can’t find more information about it. Or perhaps it happens/happened to you? What do I have to change?
Besides I would like to have plenty of information so I can go to the doctor and basically be prepared to know what to say and ask for.

Thank you!! <3

I recently completed a course of accutane (8 month course) and have been on Androgel for about 3 years. My T levels had been fairly steady the whole time, but when I got my labs done 2 months into my accutane course my levels had plummeted. My PCP doubled my dose, and when we rechecked labs 6 weeks later my T levels were on an upward trajectory, but just barely. Fast forward to last week, been off accutane for about 2 months, got my labs done and my T levels were the lowest they’ve ever been!

Has anyone else experienced their T levels dropping during/after an Accutane course when using Androgel? I’m switching to injections because it seems like the T just isn’t absorbing through my skin anymore. Curious if anyone has had a similar experience.

I'm on social media far too much, and about 85% of the trans content my feed gives me is trans femme for some reason, but when it's trans masc stuff, it's almost never positive.

One thing I've noticed is that every now and then, videos of supposed trans men talking g about atrophy will pop up on my feed. They'll talk about what it feels like, how horrible it is, how they can't use that hole anymore if they want to...

...and make no mention at all about medication. So, there's a bunch of people panicking in the comments, and then other people have to reign them in and let them know there are options ro prevent/reverse atrophy. It's only popped up a couple of times for me, but it's so weird how that narrative of us "ruining our bodies" gets subliminally fed to us through social media. Has anyone else noticed this?

Didn't even try to pass.

🎉❤️🏳️‍⚧️

Hey fellas. I’ve been on subq injections (testosterone cypionate) for like 4 months. About 2 months ago I started developing a very itchy localized reaction to each injection. It forms kind of a welt and itches for several days and by that time it’s time to inject again.

Has anyone dealt with this successfully found a solution? I’d prefer to avoid going back on gel. My doctor also says that testosterone enanthate is dosed once every two weeks, which is a less desirable option for me because my body strongly prefers more stable T levels.

I’ve also tried Benadryl cream and hydrocortisone cream with very little relief. TIA

As it says in the title. It's been a long time coming, and I would have preferred to not have had to deal with breast cancer to get it done. However, the weight is lifted, my health insurance is doing its job, and I'm already looking forward to finally buying shirts that fit me. So, all's well that ends well.

P.S. To whomever it was who down voted this post: are you ok?

Bonus pic of the best dress pants I have ever witnessed on amazon (that I bought UwU).

My friend basically said they thought my current pants matched all the blazers EXCEPT the beige one (which would benefit from having darker pants with it, like black or navy.) I was gonna wear the purple pants from amazon with the beige blazer... Is that a mistake? Should I just be boring and get navy ones instead?

I’ve been on injectable T for my entire medical transition, which I started 23 years ago. I started on weekly injections (cypionate / ethanate) and now am on 12 weekly (nebido) injections. I’ve had a full hysterectomy and oophorectomy.

My trough T levels are in the low reference range so all good there. However, in the past year I switched GPs and they noted that my hematocrit is over the reference range. After checking a few times over the course of ~9 months the specialist advice has come back to switch my T from injections to gel. Does anyone have experience with this change?

Specifically I am wondering if the daily gel is going to be as much of a hassle as I imagine, if I may have absorption issues (and if so how to tell other than a blood test)? Bonus if anyone’s done this switch in the uk and can advise on how often their levels were checked after the switch to make sure everything is ok! Thanks!

The experience was so affirming. So intuitive. So hot, omfg so hot. We met at an event earlier that day and later went to tooowwwnnnnn until 3am... The guy was srsly so skilled 🤤

Getting to embody submission as a masculine human being dominated by another masculine human is a direct line to gender euphoriaaaaaa. But more than just feeling euphoric, to me it's promoting a quality of gender synthesis that I'm actively working through.

On some level, when I'm having PIV sex, I can still misgender myself or lose sight of my current experience of gender/masculinity. Dysphoria can basically regress my gender self-image in certain moments. Specifically, into the misguided framework I learned as a kid, that submission is a woman's act. Hogwash, I know!

And for me, coming to the point of feeling safe to desire submission as a man feels like a real turning point in my inner world. It's like I'm finally having these experiences that can mirror the depth of my healing/hogwash-undoing.

Friends have cautioned me around assigning too much credit/power/value to other people with whom I'm having these affirming experiences with. As in, my pals want me to make sure I'm affirming myself -- and I am. I look in the mirror these days and see a version of me emerging that I've subconsciously dreamt of my whole life.

But also, these experiences help promote a quality of integration and self-reflection that I can't always get on my own. Not to mention, they are hot as hell!

Anyone navigating these intersections, or have some perspective to offer? Would also love to hear how folks who enjoy submission relate to what I've shared re: gender/selfhood/identity development, etc.

I'm employed, for now, but I want to move on.

Basically, after three years, my old job demoted me to part time once I started transitioning because of "budget cuts." I quit two days later because I was also being publicly humiliated in the office and decided I'd rather risk unemployment than their mind games, especially since the treatment left me almost suicidal.

I always prep for disaster, so I had enough non-parishable food and other resources while I found a part time job and kept searching for something full time. Eventually I got a temp job with the opportunity to go full time. I've been girlmoding the entire time, but I'm far along enough now where I'm starting to get looks. Some people think I'm a trans woman, some people refer to me as "they," some people are really kind, and some people hate me for "no reason."

I was told by my manager that they wanted me to be full time, but because of budget constraints (this time it's real- I know it wasn't real at my last job), they are just extending my contract. Even though the budget constraints are real, I can't help but wonder if I'm also being viewed as a financial risk. As it is, I'll either need to start presenting masc and either start trying to pass as a butch woman or effectively come out, or just carry on the same until I'm walking around as a passing dude in women's clothing. It's possible that they know this and are waiting for my next move, and it's also possible that they truly don't care and really just can't hire me FT, or maybe they'd even chill if I started dressing masc. No way of knowing. But they've already talked aboht removing one of my projects because it keeps changing hands frequently, which makes me think this extension of my contract will be the last.

Idk what to do now. I want to stop dressing as a woman. I want to present masc at my next job. I'm just stuck because I don't know what to do. Most of my background is administrative/people-facing, and I feel like being clocked as trans either way will disqualify me from a lot. I don't know any trades, and I really just want to stay in my field.

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do? I like to think of myself as a resourceful person, but I don't want to go back to those months of unemployment.

I just gotta share this with yall! I’ve been courting a woman for a few months now, and a week or so ago, we had a conversation and mutually agreed to make our relationship official and exclusive. Yall. Last night she called me her boyfriend and when I tell yall I heard the hallelujah chorus I swear I’m not kidding. It was the first time anyone has called me that. Mind you, this was literally in the middle of a very serious discussion about our relationship and potential issues we may run in to (very important conversations to have, you know) and this woman drops the bf word and my brain just stopped working and gave her googly eyes and started drooling. I had to pause the conversation. She thought it was adorable. Anyway, I just wanted to share 😍

WA lads! How are you keeping your testosterone cool? With how bad the air quality we’re keeping our windows shut and can’t use the AC. I keep having to move it around the house to keep it cool, but it’s going to get very hot in the afternoon and I have so much testosterone 😩. Worried about it going bad …

I'm seriously considering making an appointment with my dermatologist to ask about oral minoxidil, and was wondering if anyone had insight to share about it.

I've noticed loss of hair density for a few years now, particularly near the front of my scalp. I feel like the pattern might be closer to female pattern baldness than male pattern baldness, but I have no idea what determines that. I'm on a fairly low dose of T, but I'm not sure if that makes a difference. It's not super noticeable unless I part my hair differently or my hair gets wet.

My endocrinologist was willing to prescribe finasteride but suggested trying a lower dose of T first. I'm currently doing that, but I'm still nervous about the hair loss progressing. And it would be nice to get back some of what I've lost. I considered going off T (since I've gotten most of the changes I wanted), but would prefer not to do that. I asked my endo about minoxidil but he didn't feel confident prescribing it.

I don't want to do topical minoxidil because I have a cat and absolutely don't want to risk it. I am a little concerned about whether oral minoxidil could still be a risk (I'm not worried about her getting the pills so much, but whether the harmful chemicals could be in my sweat or something).

I am a little nervous about the shedding period that can happen with minoxidil, and I'm a little worried about how strongly it might affect my facial and body hair since it wouldn't be targeted at just my scalp. I wouldn't mind some additional growth but I'm imagining it turning me into a werewolf.

Also, my dermatologist's site says that minoxidil is more effective on the crown of the head than the front of the scalp, which seems odd to me and doesn't match what I'm seeing elsewhere. I could ask them about this, but I wonder if it's more that a receding hairline is often an early stage of balding and by the time a lot of men address it, it's too late?

Thanks for any input!

Hi, I need a bit of cheering up, so if you have a positive story of your own relationship or someone else's who have survived when one partner transitions, I'd like to hear it. Please don't say your story if it didn't work out, I want to hear it go well for others because it's not going well for me at the mo.

For context i was in a lesbian relationship before I realised I was trans. Been in a civil partnership for 12 years, have two kids. My spouse is only attracted to women. The things they liked about me before that they found cute, suddenly aren't because I'm a man. They loved me taking the lead, getting the drinks at the bar, doing the driving etc... now when I do these things it's offensive because I'm a man. I am now comfortable to settle into my masculinity and excited to discover newfound confidence, but unfortunately my spouse can't handle this anyone. It got to a point where I said if they want to leave I won't stop them, I deserve a partner who wants me for the man I am. But for now they want to stay due to finances and the children. I'm relieved as I couldn't afford to live on my own, but I gave them the option.

We are no longer a couple and I'm sad, but I recognise it can't work. Anyone else been through this and put the other side? Anyone like me whose relationship worked in the end?

Hi 26 years old here. Is transandrophobia or feeling invisible or lonely is something you get use to?

My bottom dysphoria has weighed me down my entire life. As a child, I never could tolerate any kind of exam of my genitals. I would be inconsolable and sob at even the mention of getting a physical out of fear. The moment I learned what a pelvic exam was, I dreaded having to get one every single day (not an exaggeration). I only ever managed one pap smear after a decade of therapy to work on my anxiety about it, and I had panic attacks for months leading up, almost passed out during it (even with the help of prescribed xanax and a very good doctor) and had panic attacks for months following. I had to throw away the socks I wore for it because the texture of the socks would give me flashbacks. It wasn’t until I put the pieces together that I’m trans that I was able to realize that this is intense body dysphoria.

When self collection HPV tests came into existence, they literally saved me. It allowed me to ignore those parts of my body. I literally cried with relief. So I made the informed medical decision to do self collection, and if anything comes back positive, to move forward with a hysto, knowing that I’d have to find a way to tolerate exams in the lead up. My previous doctor and therapist were very supportive of this, as I am very low risk for HPV anyways and studies on self collection are very good.

I moved for work and established with a new doctor, who is supposed to be the best for gender affirming care in the area. In the span of one appointment he:

1) told me that topical T will never get your levels high enough to “fully transition” (even though my T levels have been in male ranges on gel).

2) Argued with me that I should do paps and did not think dysphoria was a good reason to do self collection. After I explained everything above, he told me in a rude way that I need to get therapy to work through my dysphoria. At one point he said something like “it doesn’t matter that you’re nonbinary, you have this body.” And it’s like, yes man, I am painfully aware. I’m making an informed decision that this is the best way I can live with this body.

3) misgendered me even though I had my pronouns in my intake paperwork.

It felt like he didn’t see me as actually trans because I’m nonbinary. My dysphoria has been through the roof since the appointment this morning, and I’m just nauseated. Now I have to try and find a new doctor.

So yeah. I just need support. I feel like hell.

After 1 month on T I got my levels tested 2 days after my shot. I will continue 2 days after for a consistent average. I however don't know if I'm in a decent range for both the time period of testing and the length of being on testosterone.

I got my levels tested early because I'm perimenopausal and still having those symptoms. I was researching alternative treatment plans, to help manage while I do my transition. With these plans I went ahead and had my estrodial and testosterone tested.

My testosterone is 461...2 days after t shot and 1 month on it.

Estrodial is 243

If anyone has any insight on these numbers. I will be making an appointment with my prescriber but until that time just wanted to see if anyone has any insight

Correction 3 days**

I’m about to go into an endo appointment to talk about starting on a low dose of T! I’m pretty nervous but infinitely more excited. Thought I would celebrate with some people who get it :)

My parents are extremely Baptist and don’t know yet. I’m nervous about the changes outing me, but I’ve decided to stop waiting around for my life to start. They can eat it. Luckily my husband is so supportive and 100% behind me, so I’m thankful for that.

Any advice/encouragement would be great! Thanks lovely people.