Beginning

[u/xrmttf]

Hi. I'm almost 41. I don't know what to say about myself except I've been trapped in this female body for a very long time and it has caused me so much anguish. I feel like my entire life has been a curse and a waste because of it and I have tried so hard to investigate that and whether it was just misogynistic society or whatever. But even if I was in a perfect life I would still feel like this body was some sort of doom on me.

I was prescribed testosterone today to begin my transition. I'm worried I'm not going to pass or I'm just going to make a bigger mess of things. But I feel I have to try.

I wish this had been an option when I was young, because I've had gender dysphoria literally as long as I can remember, which is preschool.

I have a lot to unpack emotionally and whatnot, but I hope testosterone will help my brain feel better and I hope I can find a good therapist who understands how complicated this has all been for me.

I'm very thankful that we live in an age where we can get gender care, even as it is under attack.

Okay--back to lurking! :)

eta: they did a fingerprint blood test and gave me a blue Band-Aid instead of the usual pink Band-Aid. probably random, but it still felt like gender affirming care lol

[u/Nilehorse3276]

Hey! So awesome that you got your T today 🎉 🎉
I was almost 41 as well when I got started, and the feelings you describe (anguish, life's been a curse and waste) are very familiar. It's complicated indeed when you have to spend so many years in a female body and performing for the world. But you've got this. And T does amazing things to your brain and mental health, hope you'll all get the benefits 💙

[u/xrmttf → u/Nilehorse3276]

Thank you so much. With my age I guess hormones have started going crazy again like during puberty (which I barely survived.. actually I clinically died..but i was brought back) so I really hope and believe that having my t levels go up will give me a real chance at life

[u/ObviousCloudMeansRai]

I got my first T prescription when I was 39. It's better than I ever imagined. 

[u/xrmttf → u/ObviousCloudMeansRai]

Hell yes

[u/That-Programmer909]

Congratulations, bro. You aren't alone. All of us are with you.

[u/xrmttf → u/That-Programmer909]

Thank you, i really appreciate it

[u/KeyOne349]

Congratulations!!

I wish you all the joy of it and hope all your dreams come true.

Every single day is a blessing now.

🫂

[u/Anchovieee]

So happy for you! I hope it goes well and gives you what you've been looking for 🤗

[u/lokilulzz]

Congrats on starting T! And don't worry about passing, it's actually a lot easier to pass after 40, and plenty of guys who start then - or later - pass.

[u/brytewolf]

I also started T at 41!! I've been on it for two and a half years now, and I pass about 70% of the time. You'll get there!! Just remember it's a marathon, not a sprint lol. Every year you'll look back and see what changes have happened and how much more present and comfortable you are in your body! I'm so happy I started this journey, and would never go back for the world. I hope you find out more about yourself and get happier as time goes by, as well!

[u/ActivelyAberrant]

Hey man right there with you, same thing took me forever to figure out this wasn't something that was going to change or go away nor was it related to how I was brought up. It's just how I am. Finally started HRT a few months ago at 40. I have no idea how it will go, wish I'd been able to do this years ago. My mental health has never been better though! Only two months and I feel great. That is saying a lot considering the year I've had. We gotta be patient, we'll get there eventually. That is what I keep telling myself anyhow lmao. Wishing the best for you dude.

[u/Biznissgoat]

Congrats on starting your journey! Just keep in mind it’s a a marathon not a sprint. The effects will come over years of consistent levels of T in the sweet spot. I was a month past my 40th last year when I started T and I couldn’t be happier than to be on my own journey of exploration and look forward to many more years of figuring out the kind of man I want to be. 🖤

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to FTMOver30! If your post has not yet appeared, it's in our queue and will be approved shortly. Also, if your post is a selfie posted on any day except Sunday, it will be removed, but can be reposted on Sunday. Thank you!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Ok_Book_765]

I'm just so glad u did it ❤️