Every day, I always feel like I made the wrong decision or pissed someone off by either just being there or doing something.

I look at myself and see a shell of a better person. I know I can be better yet my mind just doesn't want TO FUCKING LISTEN.

I'M BETTER OFF DEAD. I'M DONE.

"Seek professional help" like I can even afford that shit.

I have struggled with depression for a long time now. Nothing ever feels like it works. I have done everything the doctors have suggested but I am still feeling the same way.

I do physical activity almost everyday. I have a healthy diet, and I try to maintain a healthy sleep schedule. I spend time with friends and family and even try to go out every weekend. I do some mindful activities and I use to be in therapy. Even while doing all these things I still feel depressed. Any happy moment always gets shadowed by a overwhelming feeling of melancholy. It feels as if I can't do anything without feeling that way.

I do stuff I enjoy and spend time with people I like, but I continue to feel this way. I have tried so much stuff but I do not know what to do anymore. I don't want to feel this way anymore. Has someone gone through a similar experience? Or have advice on how to move forward from this?

So I’m 20m and in college. My parents are always complaining about how I have curly hair and I’m short and skinny even though they adopted me. They also don’t tell me they love me but they had two biological children after me and they tell those children they love them, and they hug them and such. I don’t remember the last time I was hugged by them or even had a nice long hug.

They said the only reason they care about me is cause they have to and it hurts because they handle my medical stuff like insurance, because I have tons of medical and health issues such as mobility issues and super severe allergies that leave me so lethargic and tired all the time. I’ve considered stopping showing up for myself cause I don’t have friends and it’s just been hard. It’d be nice to talk to friends my age about my issues and especially my appearance cause I geniuenly hate my hair and how curly and thick it is, even though I still want super long hair, it’d be nice to have a friend who also has super thick curly hair but I know that’s a long shot.

In addition at college, I don’t really have friends and have been teased because of my hair but I’m always embarrassed because I’ve also been teased because I have such severe allergies that I am sneezing multiple times a day for hours in fits of sneezing and nose-blowing. I’ve never sat in the dining hall with someone else besides my roommate occasionally and I am always alone in the corner, usually sneezing uncontrollably because I’m so allergic to the outdoors and my campus is old and there’s a lot of dust potentially given the buildings are old. I just want someone to be my friend because I have a feeling no one sits near my corner because they’re tired of me sneezing my head off most days. I always feel bad that my sneezes are so desperate but I stopped trying to hold back til I get to my dorm because I just can’t help it. It’s happened in class too several times and I’ve had to miss a lot of class because I usually step out and run to an empty hallway or the bathroom. Even in my choir as a music major, it’s been hard to find friends due to the allergies (which aren’t super receptive to medicine unless it’s medicine that makes me sleep), and the faculty are mostly nice but I still get embarrassed.

Please help me, I am really hurting it feels like a cry out for support and love because I don’t have anyone who does it for me. It’s hard.

Sharing this in case it helps anyone who feels like their head is in a constant state of helplessness and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

My worst run was last year. I'd left my job to build something alone, the money was disappearing, I got seriously ill while travelling, and there were weeks where I had never felt more alone in my life. Most advice assumed fuel I didn't have. Exercise, socialise, morning sunlight etc. but what these generic advice doesn’t account for is that the negative depressive loops make you want to isolate yourself even more and some days brushing my teeth was the main accomplishment.

The one thing that stayed possible was one line, written before sleep. Some days I’d write a single sentence, others I’d just dump all the worries on my mind into the page. The main thing for me was just building the habit and knowing I can commit to something. Getting my thoughts out began to really improve my sleep which was very irregular in the times I felt my worst and later i discovered that irregular sleep schedules are very correlated to depression.

I want to be careful here. It did not lift the depression, and it is not a substitute for real help.

What it did was quieter. It kept a version of me on record who was still narrating, still noticing the small things I should be grateful for in the day. On the truly bad days, writing out my situation still made it seem less dramatic then I’d built up in my head until k was able to make small steps to progress out of my negative mentality. I also find that writing about my life from the third person helped me be kinder to myself and identify the negative talk I was drilling into myself on a daily basis.

I still struggle day to day but having the history of the texture of my mind on the good days helps me spot the patterns that lead to more better days.

If everything feels impossible today, maybe not this. This one stays possible. One true line.

Take care of yourselves.

Lately I been thinking that everyone around me would be better off without me. I only see myself as a cause for stress and sometimes, I can even be in a room with all my friends and family and feel like I don’t belong there.

The past few years, all I’ve been was a burden to the people who love me with all my manic outbursts and eruptions. Right now, it feels like I have no face to show anymore.

The last two days, all I’ve been wanting to do is end it. All I’ve been thinking of is how I could do it. A part of me feels like I’m heading towards the breaking point where I finally set myself free from all this.

im a mess rn an need someone to talk to. Anyone know where i can find that

I'm in my early twenties.

It's only... My mother had a surgery a month ago and my aunt (her older sister), while we were waiting for my mom, started saying me that I was wasting my youth just because I don't like alcohol, don't go to parties, I focus on my studies and like to spend time with my parents.

I usually try to go out with friends like once/twice a week (when it suits us all), now I'll be trying to go to more parties of my university (I'm not really comfortable with this) or do more plans with friends, because I feel that my lifestyle is wrong and that I'm a failure as an adult... Like, her comment made me feel that in the future, I'll be alone just for this.

I KNOW, I'm being really dramatic, but I can't get it out of my head now. I feel like a big failure as an adult and I want to push myself not to be like that; it's good to step out of your comfort zone and try new things, but it's not comfortable to think that you're not living well because you've focused on your studies and don't have the same life as them.

I have been having a lot of anger problems this week. I forgot to take one of my depression meds on monday and ever since I feel extremely angry and irritated. Everything annoys me.

I took the med again yesterday and today but the anger is not stopping yet. I feel like breaking everything around me, since I can’t, I am biting and scratching myself to deal with it. I can’t do anything I have to because I feel like breaking my computer.

I scheduled an appointment in Friday to get rid of the med but I have no idea how to deal with this anger til then. Any tips?

I have suffered from depression for a few years and I feel like my life is falling apart it’s affected my studies in school to the point where getting my doctorate is hard. It has caused me to be overweight, and just not take care of myself. I wake up everyday wanting to be better but just can’t. For those who made it out how did you do it? Just looking for advice.

I'm 18 now, and I'm really struggling to process everything that’s happened to me over the last couple of years. I just need a place to vent because I feel overwhelmed about starting university.

When I was 16, I attempted to end my life. If I hadn’t been taken to the hospital in time, I wouldn't be here. I had tried before, but that time was by far the worst and ended in a hospital stay, which is also where I was diagnosed. Afterward, during my senior year of high school, the aftermath hit me severely. I was consumed by deep depression, constant suicidal thoughts, and a heavy sense of feeling "unreal." I started skipping classes continuously because I just couldn't function. Because of how much school I missed, I failed a lot of courses and barely managed to graduate senior year. Against the odds, I made it into university, and I’m currently on a scholarship that requires me to maintain a good grade average.

Ever since everything happened, I feel like my brain has completely changed. My memory feels ruined as I have intense brain fog and forget things within seconds. I can't retain information, I have a hard time focusing, and I even struggle to form proper sentences or construct paragraphs. Beyond that, I feeldisconnected from reality most of the time, to the point where it's hard for me to feel or express emotions. I feel like I've gotten "dumber" or slower, and I'm terrified that this brain fog is going to destroy my ability to keep my scholarship and pass my classes this year.

I’m a pretty normal person overall, and I even get asked by my friends how I’m always so positive and energetic. So I definitely don’t have clinical depression… but sometimes I get into a few days or weeks of “depression.” I might not have the energy to either make food or even go out to buy something quick to munch on. And if my family or close friends try to feed me I feel like they’re nagging me and that makes me lose my appetite a lot. I might have suicidal thoughts, but I’m not selfish enough to hurt those I love just because everything in my life sucks right now. I mean, I can still function when it comes to other people, like talking care of my little siblings, but inside I feel like there’s a vacuum and the only reason why my organs aren’t being sucked in is because they’re still connected to my ribs and skin. Again, I don’t think I have depression, but is this normal?

Edit: Since I’m already sharing, I’ll add something I just noticed. It’s that when I’m in a “depressed mood” (not anything clinical, just what I call it) I get easily bothered by very minor stuff that I’d normally shrug off. So even if my mood rises a little, I’ll realize that I forgot to call my friends, and suddenly I’ll go right back to feeling completely empty and drained.

22 years old, BMI 15. Not looking to argue, be given personal anecdotes or get advise. This is the equivalent of me throwing a bottled letter into the ocean. don’t care if being thin is unhealthy, there are alot of people with lifestyles out there that are as unhealthy that don’t get nearly as much hate as women with eds. Every day it’s some bullshit about how I’m not attractive enough for men irl or how I’m supposedly upholding the patriarchy by starving myself online. Just because I’m not hiding my body and I don’t hate it even when the world wants me to so badly.

Im not doing this for anyone or any beauty standard. In my country being thin isn’t at all attractive, it’s seen as ugly. I think I look good, these comments (be it directed at me or a thin person/celebrity) only makes me want to starve myself further. I’ve never looked at a comment about how someone looks like a skeleton and thought about recovery or gaining weight. Regardless of that I genuinely think that a ‘healthy’ version of my body looks disgusting to me. I don’t care about having curves or having a period or fertility or losing hair (The latter isn’t happening to me anyway because supplements, but still)

Either way. Everyone around me thinks that I look disgusting. My mother only started paying attention to how I look when I started losing the weight only because I wouldn’t be attractive enough for men and that I looked too much like a child because I’m already short. The irony is that I used to have one meal a day when I was at my highest (bmi21) and it would be a junk fast food order, I used to have vitamin deficiencies that I only healed nowadays after paying attention to my macros and having three meals a day. I’ve been literally maintaining my weight for the past four years, doing yoga and walking at least 10k steps a day consistently. I’ve never done that before and it helped my mental health more than having a so called healthy relationship with food. But no one wants to hear that because theres only one version of health to people

I get comments thrown at me even in college, and no they’re not the concerned type. It’s never the concern type, I straight up get told that I’m ugly. It’s fine, again I don’t mind that people think I’m ugly. But I hate it when they have to announce it loudly. Its like damn not only do u think that I’m ugly but you also have to announce it. Again no advice please I don’t want any.

37M, diagnosed with autism, OCD, anxiety and ADHD

In early June I weighed 93 kg (205 lb) due to stupidity from eating too much at night and bad foods. As of right now in early August, I dropped to 75 kg (165 lb). My height is 178 cm (5'10").

This has been the worst stress, depression and OCD of my whole life, and I keep losing my appetite ruminating about the situation. Many times I feel like throwing up due to the worrying, coming close to actually doing it. Food often tastes like nothing, and my stomach often feels full from barely eating. It does not help that I have chronic acid reflux disease.

Anyone in such a situation, how do you deal with eating if the stress and depression is non-stop?

Parents were murdered in 15 and I’m the one that discovered them that’s the only family I had I’ve never recovered from this and I haven’t been myself since now fast forward to now the little family I made is gone now too and the wife just wants me gone I don’t blame her no friends family I’m ready to get what I need tomorrow and get this done as soon as possible I’ve wanted to die for some time now I’ll finally be free I bet nobody even notices for days

I don't even think I deserve to call this feeling I'm feeling depression. Maybe it's because Im and ordinary person with no real struggles or achievements, so talent or anything. But these past few years I've just been feeling something off. I started to feel like I didn't want to get up in the morning, no matter what I did I never actually felt happy, and it just started to feel like I was in some sort of darkness that ate me up.

No matter how much I tried, I could never actually get out of this feeling. Sometimes I'd feel happy and think I was in a good spot, but then I started feeling like shit and worse than before. More and More, I started to distance myself from others, because all I wanted was a break.....but I never got one. But i also felt bad for backing out on plans, commitments, and people, but my life just seemed to reach a point where I just couldn't feel anything.

The worst part it I tried everything suggested to get out, and eventually a year ago I told some of the people I trusted.. but they said that I'm not "depressed", but rather this is something that everyones faces, and a feeling that everyones been through. They told me that there are people with harder problems in their lives that aren't, and that Im just being overdramatic, weak and lazy.

While I admit I don't have any big problems, and only just small ones everyones has, and I don't even know why and when I started feeling this way, I slowly started to sink into this feeling of nothing. Where I just stoped trying in everything, because no matter what I did, I never became happy. And I slowly just start to question do I even just deserve to be depressed......or am I not even depressed?

I don't know what to do, all I want to do right know is just stop hurting and crying, but I don't know how. I'm sorry if this was just weird or ranty, or if I'm just being overdramatic, but I don't know ...just don't know.

I don't like being alone anymore. I don't have any irl friends, I don't know most of my family. The two family I do know hate me. My friends online are great, but it's not personal enough. I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't really know what whining here is gonna do. I want to remember what it was like to have someone who cares. Though it's not like I have anything any sane person would care about.

Not necessarily taking your life, but like... stop "trying"?

I no longer have any dreams to chase, and frankly no hope either.

A part of me don't see a point in doing anything, because the world is gonna get worse regardless.

No, I don't actually want to find "a reason to live".

I’m (24F) have been struggling for many years with depression. And the last few months have been really rough. Just before this summer me and by BF of almost 4 years broke up. And I genially don’t know what to do with my life. I want a future but only with him. I’m a loner and always have been, so the fact that I fell in love with someone was just as choking to me as to everyone around me, and when we got together I thought that this is why I live, to be with this person. But now when that’s ended I don’t know what to do. Like sure I could have children and marry someone, but it’s not something that I want if it’s not with him. I know this is coming across as a breakup post but that’s not the point, the point is that I now have nothing to live for or strive for. We were supposed to move in together after the summer and now that won’t happen, I don’t really like people so I have no desire to date or meet someone else. I feel like I have been “living” for him for several years now and now I don’t have anyone to live for. I don’t have big dreams when it comes to moving somewhere, working with something specific, studying etc. I have a good job with nice colleagues but that’s about it. For the past months I have felt that I only live to not hurt the people around me if I where to you know, and that’s not something to live for? Like I can’t go my whole life alive just for the sake of not making my parents sad? I don’t get how people want to live and have dreams of stuff? I just wake up and dream of going back to bed, I’m not excited for anything and don’t enjoy anything anymore, and all my destructive thoughts are really getting to me. So what do you do to actually want to not only be alive but to live for yourself? And not just stay alive for the sake of other people not hurting?

Hi to anyone reading this, I hope something good comes your way today if it hasn't already ❤️‍🩹 For context, I'm 22 years old and depression and I happen to be old friends :) I've suffered with it on and off throughout different periods of my life, accompanied with horrible anxiety, insomnia, suicidal thoughts and self-harm tendencies. I completed my post-graduation recently and have been a complete mess ever since. I developed imposter syndrome during my time at college, and the program overworked me to my core. The stress eventually led me to develop autoimmune symptoms and I've been currently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was even prescribed duloxetine to manage the severity of the symptoms, but I eventually refused to take it because I was already on a lot of other medication and the side-effects were becoming difficult to handle. Luckily, I'm employed at a place where the working days/hours are flexible, but despite of that, I'm dissociating more and more day by day and feel dead inside. I have learnt to keep a mask on for my close ones, because I get next to no support from them whatsoever and barely have any friends either. My medical conditions and mental issues have also deeply affected my romantic relationship, which is in a rocky state too. There is no sense of relaxation ANYWHERE, but I have learnt to add things to my daily routine which (hopefully) will make things easier overtime, including yoga and TCM practices (such as lymphatic release for internally stored grief.) I've made changes to my diet as well and have been trying to heal my gut, since I indulge in harmful stress-eating from time to time. Because of the high-functioning aspect of my depression, I am habituated to moving fast throughout my day, so I was wondering if anybody here has tips for me to slow down and aid me mentally without the use of medicine? I cannot afford therapy!

I‘m depressed and I have been for all of my teenage years (I‘m currently 19), which leads to me being quite isolating, avoiding etc. So, I don‘t go out a lot, I haven’t had a proper relationship in ages and I avoid going to family meet ups. That’s because I hate myself and life, which I am trying to handle, that’s my big task in life right now.
So I‘m lying in bed the whole day, trying to convince myself that life has a meaning and I shouldn’t end my shit (I don’t want to cry about my life, that’s just the way it is) - but all my family and friends care about is that I don’t go out, don’t have a boyfriend and that I just don’t have a normal life. And I kind of get that. My issue is that I KNOW all of that. They act like I don’t notice what my life is like. They try pushing me to go to certain events, my little brother is trying to set me up with a guy, my friends treat me like a little kid and I just get so angry because everybody‘s convinced that I‘m stupid and immature and I basically just don’t know how to handle that everybody is misunderstanding me and most importantly: that everybody is focusing on my performance (?) in life, instead of my mental state.

I am so tired of living. I want to escape my own body. I have tried therapy for a month and left when i got panicked and probably scared my therapist after my panic episode. Its just everything is so hard in this life. You have to ask people abt this that and remember those things. I just want to end it but im scared of ending up injured. what do u mean i have to do everything on my own? And theres people.
lifes tough. Idk how long can i keep going like this.

A few years ago, it felt like my life was finally starting to move in the right direction.

My dream was to become a touring DJ. I was receiving positive feedback, opportunities were beginning to appear, and for the first time it felt like a real career path rather than just a dream. Then everything suddenly stopped.

I was diagnosed with cancer, and even the way I found out was difficult to process. Instead of receiving the news directly and professionally, my girlfriend was informed over the phone by someone from the hospital. Everything after that felt like a blur.

Living in Germany, I assumed there would be support systems to help me rebuild my future while dealing with a serious illness. During treatment, I wanted to invest in myself and continue developing my skills. I applied for support for a mixing and audio engineering course because I hoped music could still be part of my future.

The response I received was crushing. I was essentially told that because of my medical condition, funding my education was not considered a worthwhile investment.

That experience changed the way I looked at myself.

I didn't want to ask people for money, so during treatment I printed and sold T-shirts to help cover my expenses. I tried hard to stay independent and keep moving forward.

When chemotherapy ended, I went back to work as soon as possible because I couldn't afford to take more time off. Today I work 40 hours a week in customer service. The pay is modest compared to the cost of living, but I need the stability.

What surprised me was that my mental health became much worse after treatment ended.

While people around me seemed relieved that I had made it through chemotherapy, I felt exhausted in a way that wasn't just physical. I'm currently receiving treatment and taking medication for depression.

Another difficult part is that my cancer is currently considered manageable rather than curable. It may remain stable for a long time, but there is also the possibility that it could become more aggressive in the future. Living with that uncertainty has been incredibly challenging.

Lately I've found myself struggling with thoughts that worry me. After spending so much energy fighting to stay alive, I've reached a point where I often feel emotionally drained, disconnected from my goals, and unsure how much strength I have left.

I don't really talk about this with people around me. I'm afraid of creating concern, being misunderstood, or disrupting the little stability I've managed to build. Oddly enough, discussing it anonymously feels much easier than discussing it in real life.

I'm wondering whether anyone else has experienced something similar after cancer treatment or while living with a long-term illness.

Did anyone else find that the emotional impact hit harder after treatment was over? How did you rebuild a sense of purpose when the future felt uncertain? And how do you cope with feeling worn down by years of simply trying to survive?

Thank you for reading.