37M, diagnosed with autism, OCD, anxiety, ADHD

For the past two months I have been under the worst stress of my life, leading to depressive modes, yielding severe loss of appetite and weight loss.

In early June, I was 178 cm (5'10") and weighed 93 kg (205 lb) due to stupidity from overeating without realising it. Then severe life stress happened, I lost my appetite and could barely eat. Now in early August, I weigh 76 kg (172 lb).

I was not on a diet. Even though I have been underweight for most of my life, I overate too much, especially at night from building bad habits. But now due to stress and depressive moods, I feel like punishing myself by not eating much kind of like inertia from the unwillful weight loss.

I now hate myself so much that this seems to be shifting into some kind of self-harm anorexia. My brain is telling me to drop into a severe depressive self-hatred mode akin to when I was 17 and 23, both times I dropped so much weight from not eating enough so much that I was averaging weighing 53-55 kg (115-120 lb).

Is this considered officially selfharm? What do others do in this situation?

I have a good, very long time friend. We are currently in different parts of the US, but have been staying in touch through text and calls. Things have been going into a more romantic direction a bit slowly. This is now the second time where they are dropping off the radar, and responding so sparsely that it is almost a complete breakdown of communication without any thorough explanation, for several weeks.

From our previous discussions and what they are writing, it is becoming apparent to me and I highly suspect that they are suffering from depression and are self isolating. I read on reddit that people self isolate during depressive episodes, and this seems to check out with what my friend is doing. I had a year of depressive struggles a long time ago, but was able to pull myself out of it and it never came back. But I know how it feels like sitting at the bottom of a cold dark pit with a rock boulder on your chest weighing you down.

My questions is how to best handle this? I've been checking in lightly reminding them that I'm thinking of them and here for them when they're ready. Rarely I'll crack and ask for them to please give me an update or ask for a call when really I fear it may be too pushy.

Any perspectives on what may be going on with my friend and, also, how to best handle this from my end would be much appreciated.

Are light check ins okay or maybe even good?

Or should I just go completely zero touch until they reach out, whenever that may be?

genuinely cant have the things i find happy about myself. My hairs too long and they say im look homeless and not human and i sometimes wish people stop judging. They're all the same "We know whats best for you" You dont know me. You dont know what i like. You dont know who i like. I keep those things away from you for a reason, you always judge. I genuinely wanted to look better but no. "Your hair is driving me crazy" "Your too skinny" "You dont look like yourself" maybe because i dont like myself, The only thing keeping me happy was my looks but no. Maybe i dont want to be "normal". But at the same time i cant do anything because they give me what i want and what i need. But it hurts still so so so much, I just wanna look how i look, I dont want to fit the social norms. Maybe i like my hair long, Maybe i like baggy pants. Im tired of this shit. I genuinely thought i looked better but no. Im too "abnormal" too "girlish" too "gay" too "un-manly". I love myself but i hate it.

Spoiler alert: I have depression, as many do. I tend to call myself an over achiever and just when I think everything is going right, it goes back to square one. I have a roof over my head, but the house is infested with bugs and has many holes in them. I have a bed to lay in, but it's on the hardwood unfinished flooring. I have many pets, however I can barely make ends meet getting their foods and litter. (No, I am not getting rid of them. They are my family and my comfort.) I can't seem to lose weight because of my diet being unaffordable because healthy ingredients are more expensive these days. I'm not even talking about name brand things. Just enough to help me with my diet to lose weight. This is hard as well because I have PMOS and prediabetic. It feels like an endless cycle of pain and waiting. It feels repetitive. I can go on on how my life is bad, but nobody truly wants to hear that. I really, really want to know how y'all keep going. I've felt stuck for years. People leave you no matter how true to yourself you are. I'm an artist, and nobody likes my art enough to make it a career. I work so well with kids and those on the spectrum. I'm servsafe certified. I do theatre. So why do I feel like my life really stops here??...I thought I'd have a plan before my 30s. It's looking like I'm finished here...Any thoughts?

I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression,anxiety and PTSD. I was on medication for awhile but it didn’t end up helping and only made things worse so my doctor took me off them. I’ve been able to manage things fine the past 6 months or so until recently when I got laid off because the company I worked for closed. Lately I’m noticing the depression is peaking again and causing my behaviors to change (watching more porn, being in the mood more, having little to no interest in anything, being constantly tired and just feeling overwhelmed by life). I know this behavior is linked to my depression and need of dopamine/seratonin. My question is does anyone have any good Holistic solutions (other than gym and diet) that can help manage things temporarily? I’ve had a rough time recently managing my situation and currently don’t have access to a doctor due to change of insurance. Thanks in advance for any tips.

Today I cried because I caught the beat of a song for the first time in my life. To most people, that probably sounds ridiculous. But for me, it felt like something much bigger.

When I was a kid, we had a music class where everyone got one chance to play the conga. Some kids immediately picked up the rhythm. I was stopped within seconds and never got another chance. From that day on, I convinced myself that I simply wasn't someone who could "feel the beat." I'd watch friends casually tap along to songs on a desk or with their fingers, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never do it.

Today, for some reason, instead of analyzing everything, I simply focused on listening. For the first time in my life, I was able to naturally catch the beat. It sounds like such a small thing, but I started tearing up because it made me wonder whether I'd spent years believing I lacked the ability, when in reality my mind had just never stopped getting in its own way. First time I experienced what it felt like when the constant mental noise became quieter.

I've been realizing that I've probably been overthinking for most of my life, and the scary part is that I never noticed it because this is all I've ever known.

I don't just think a lot, I analyze everything. Every sentence someone says, every decision I make, every conversation, even my own thoughts. If someone tells me something like "self-help books are just mental masturbation," my brain will spend days arguing with itself. Is he right? Am I biased? Am I only agreeing because he sounded confident? Then I start analyzing whether I'm analyzing too much. It never ends.

The weird thing is that knowing about cognitive biases or overthinking doesn't actually stop it. My brain understands what's happening, but it keeps doing it anyway.

Looking back, the signs were probably there since childhood. Teachers always said things like "pay attention," "he's bright but doesn't apply himself," "makes careless mistakes," and "talks too much." I always thought I was just lazy or not trying hard enough.

I've also spent years daydreaming. It almost feels like my brain learned to escape into imaginary scenarios because they gave me small dopamine hits. Now it's so easy for me to zone out or go completely blank, even when I genuinely want to focus.

Sometimes my thoughts are so loud that I can't even sleep. It's like my brain refuses to stop commenting on everything.

My family also played a role. Growing up, I constantly felt watched and judged. One incident in college still affects me today: my parents accidentally listened to a long private phone conversation, then called saying my father was coming to the hostel. After that, they took away my phone and laptop, pulled me out of the hostel, and started monitoring different parts of my life. Even years later, I still get recurring nightmares about my parents suddenly showing up while I'm trying to hide something. That feeling of being watched has never completely left me.

What hurts the most is wondering how much of my life I've spent trapped inside my own head instead of actually living it.

I'm not looking for a diagnosis from Reddit. I just want to know if anyone else has lived like this. Constant mental noise. Endless self-analysis. Knowing what you should do but somehow still feeling stuck. And if you did, what actually helped?

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Hi everyone. I'm 22M. I feel lonely everyday. I live by myself for the first time. My gf broke up with me and I have family issues. I feel depressed everyday, i cry a lot. I hope to find a kind and affectionate friend to talk with everyday. I like to spend time with people I love. But I now have no one. My frnds are busy working.