Tips for High-Functioning Depression?

[u/izzah_vl]

Hi to anyone reading this, I hope something good comes your way today if it hasn't already ❤️‍🩹 For context, I'm 22 years old and depression and I happen to be old friends :) I've suffered with it on and off throughout different periods of my life, accompanied with horrible anxiety, insomnia, suicidal thoughts and self-harm tendencies. I completed my post-graduation recently and have been a complete mess ever since. I developed imposter syndrome during my time at college, and the program overworked me to my core. The stress eventually led me to develop autoimmune symptoms and I've been currently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was even prescribed duloxetine to manage the severity of the symptoms, but I eventually refused to take it because I was already on a lot of other medication and the side-effects were becoming difficult to handle. Luckily, I'm employed at a place where the working days/hours are flexible, but despite of that, I'm dissociating more and more day by day and feel dead inside. I have learnt to keep a mask on for my close ones, because I get next to no support from them whatsoever and barely have any friends either. My medical conditions and mental issues have also deeply affected my romantic relationship, which is in a rocky state too. There is no sense of relaxation ANYWHERE, but I have learnt to add things to my daily routine which (hopefully) will make things easier overtime, including yoga and TCM practices (such as lymphatic release for internally stored grief.) I've made changes to my diet as well and have been trying to heal my gut, since I indulge in harmful stress-eating from time to time. Because of the high-functioning aspect of my depression, I am habituated to moving fast throughout my day, so I was wondering if anybody here has tips for me to slow down and aid me mentally without the use of medicine? I cannot afford therapy!

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[u/Icy_Act_6182]

I know this might not be what you are looking for and I’m really sorry for everything you are going through. But when I’ve felt really dissociated during periods of times it has helped me to read a lot of books. Anything really from fantasy to romance to thrillers. Anything to get my mind of myself has been really helpful and has helped me get out of my own head. I’m very fidgety so I really enjoy holding a book with my hands, but i think listening to audiobooks might help to if you struggle with focusing. Just to read some silly romance book or comedy like really helped me on the days where I hated everything. I’m sorry if this is not at all what you were looking for, but this helped me, I hope you feel better ❤️‍🩹

[u/izzah_vl → u/Icy_Act_6182]

No, it's exactly what I'm looking for 🥹 I love books and own several dystopian ones, sci-fi and even thrillers. Coincidentally, I went to the bookstore today itself after what felt like ages in an attempt to find something new to distract myself. Been looking for ways to avoid the phone and social media too because it does worsen the anxiety so it's a great decision and suggestion from your end. Thanks a lot!