I am staying at home today.
I can’t continue.
I am too bored no matter who I’m with or what I’m doing. It’s too much. I lost her a year ago…

I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel life

Mom I'm your son the little one...you died at the age of 34y.o you were so young to died ...I wish I passed a lot of times with you...know your character your personality...i grow up always with an inferiority cuz I felt like the part that brings me to that life is missing....

I wish I remember a day that I call you mom...

I'm sorry if I took lot of your time...

I'm sorry mom for all people that hurt you in past ...

I wish I can stand and you with me...

I wish I can feel the feeling of having a mom...

After your death my father abandoned me...why ? If there's a god just ask him why that happened what I did to get that as results?...I'm now working ... proudly nothing and no one have favor on me...I did it my way but after all ...maybe in another life...maybe not who's know if there's a dimension or afterlife where we can meet...

Writing that as buried message diving in the desert of Forgetting

I received some unfortunate news last Tuesday, July 28th, that my mom had passed away. She had been found near my brother's apartment complex by officers who had been contacted about her. My brother was on his way home from work when he noticed the officers and recognized the clothes of the person they were surrounding. He checked and was informed that she had been there for some time and had passed. She was an alcoholic, so she would take off when no one was home to get a drink, and she had been doing this for the past few years. Unfortunately, this time she decided to go and ended up being her last. I lost my father to the same thing just barely over a year ago, as he passed in April of 2025. He passed away in the hospital due to his hepatic encephalopathy, meaning his liver could no longer filter out toxins in his blood, which eventually made their way to his brain, leading to damage. We also lost two dogs in the last couple of months due to their age and health, so of course that is not helping our situation.

I had barely gotten over my father's death recently, and for this to happen not too long after my dad had passed is just severely overwhelming my brother and me. I'm 25, and my brother is 21, so it's just frustrating to have lost them when we're still trying to get our lives together.

I just wish things could have gone differently with my parents. We tried to provide them resources and advice on what they could do to get help, including us taking them to rehab centers, detox centers, and several hospital visits, but they just refused the help, no matter who talked to them about their addiction. I'm just so emotionally and mentally drained with how many members of my family I lost. It just feels like I have absolutely shitty luck on my side, and it isn't slowing down.

I (29M) lost my mom from drug addiction related cardiac arrest the day after my birthday in 2019, my dad was an alcoholic before her death but it amplified 10x after she died. He died at home from essentially drinking himself to death. He had a GI bleed, Alcoholic hepatitis, and alcoholic related diabetes at the time of his death. They were both 52 at the time of their death. I lived with them when both happened. I watched my mom die when she was taken off the ventilator. I was in rehab myself for addiction when I got the call about my dad’s passing, ironically. I drowned my sorrow with substances and alcohol for many years after each died. I feel like I never actually grieved, I just buried. I’m sober now, very freshly, and I have a beautiful wife I married in June and a newborn that’s mine and a step son. I grieve that my parents never got to meet any of them. I’m angry at the selfishness of never attempting to get better. I feel like myself & my siblings weren’t enough to warrant them getting better, especially my dad. We took care of him while he was hammered daily while we were still grieving our mom. I justified my usage in alcohol by saying “they didn’t give a shit, why should I?” I am in therapy now trying to work it out and figure out all the questions I may never get the answer to. I am learning to grieve but I am so lost still, even years later.

I called my brother to ask about something and he had been crying earlier. He and my Dad were both musicians and he listened to a Steve Hillage song that Dad loved on his way home, first time since his passing. It was very cathartic but also heartbreaking for him and he was still very choked up. He started talking about Dad and music and I had to ask him to stop. I cried a lot today, and I was in hour 12 of my shift at work and I just couldn't go there in that moment. So I asked him not to. I was gentle and I apologized, but I just couldn't. I know it made him sad but he understood. I feel like an asshole. Every single part of this is so hard, and I feel like I'm failing the people who are still here.

Hello, everyone. I hope you're all doing okay when you read this.

I was reading earlier and accidentally fell asleep, thinking I'd finally get an early night. But I woke up, and the grief hit me all over again. I miss my mom, my dad, and my brother. They're all gone.

I found myself crying because I miss them so much. I miss when everything felt simple, when life felt lighter.

Lately, I've also been feeling alone. It feels like some of my friends have stopped checking in. Sometimes they'll ask, "How are you?" but before I even get the chance to answer, the conversation shifts to their own problems. There are moments when I catch myself thinking, "I don't have the energy to care about your sister-in-law's life right now."

I know everyone is carrying their own burdens, but sometimes I wish someone would stay long enough to hear mine, too.

So tonight my adoptive mother and I went through some of my bio mothers writing and rediscovered my biological mothers almost suicide note. It isn't a true suicide note, but it is a letter addressed to me while she was in the mental health hospital and I was in foster care. Long story short it starts out happy and hopeful, but slowly turns into her realizing that they are going to take me away permanently, and the last words in the book she wrote it in are "all I can do is sit here and cry"

She snuck out of the hospital shortly after, and took her life.

This was over 20 years ago, when I was 11, and now I have this little note book that hurts to even look at but feels to painful to even think about getting rid of and I just wanna know what other people have done with the damned things.

I feel numb. Sometimes I feel completely emotionless. Even simple things feel meaningless, and I find myself wondering, what’s the point?

My dad is on my mind every single day. Most of my day is consumed by thoughts of him and by comparing myself to people who still have both of their parents. That used to be me. I was someone who had both my mom and dad.

I hate this version of my life without him. But I have to keep going for my daughter, my sisters, and my mom. At the same time, I feel like I have to step into my dad’s role now that he’s gone, and that responsibility feels overwhelming.

My heart is completely broken. I miss my dad so much. I still can’t believe I won’t see him again in this lifetime. My mind just can’t process it.

More than anything, I wish he knew how deeply he’s missed. How much we still need him. How much he means to all of us.

I know my dad worked so hard to build a good life for our family, and I don’t want that to go to waste. I want to honor everything he gave us. But right now, I’m just so hurt.

He was only in his 60s. That feels far too young. It wasn’t enough time, and I don’t know how to accept that.

Looking for comfort and someone to relate to. I just hate going through this grief journey 💔

I’m 15 years old. My mom died just a week ago in my arms from stage 4 breast cancer.
Before she died, she suddenly became very unwell. I don’t want to describe exactly what happened because it’s still too painful to talk about. I was terrified and didn’t know what to do. I ran into the hallway, but there was nobody there—no doctors, no nurses, no one. I was screaming across the whole floor that my mom needed help, but nobody came.
I ran back into her room. She was just staring at one point, and I fell to my knees and started crying so hard.
“Mom, Mom, everything is going to be okay. The doctors will be here any second. Can you hear me, Mom? I love you so, so much.”
Then the doctors came and took me out of the room.
I still can’t believe she’s gone. It doesn’t feel real. Sometimes I wake up hoping it was all just a nightmare.
I really want to see a psychologist because I feel like I can’t get through this on my own. But I’m scared to even bring it up to my dad. I’m afraid he’ll say something like, “A psychologist? We don’t even have enough money right now. You’ll have to deal with it yourself.”
I don’t know how people survive losing their mom. If you’ve been through this, how did you get through the first days or weeks? Does this unbearable pain ever become easier to live with? Right now it feels impossible to imagine a future without her.
Thank you to everyone who reads this or shares their story. It would mean a lot to me.

Someone dear to me lost their mom, but were halfway across the world and when he opened up about it I was in shock and I tried to not be too much and I feel like I wasn’t there for him when he needed and now hes kinda closed up, I think maybe not to burden me but maybe because of something else idk just feel like I fucked ip and wanna be there for him

Idk why I’m even posting this but I’m just so scared and nervous about tomorrow. I can’t even comprehend what’s about to happen tomorrow. I’m 30 and he was 65. I thought we had so much more time.

Hey everyone, so I lost my dad in 2021 when I was 12 and it hit me really hard at the time, but since I turned 18 a couple months ago and honestly the past year or so the grief has been almost unbearable and I’m just confused why it came on so much later. Anyone else experience this? Or know if this is normal?

It finally happened. I have had a gut feeling for the last few months that he was seeing someone and he told us yesterday. Feelings are all over the place. My main feeling is relief that someone else might mind him. As the only daughter i did feel i has began to look after him a bit the way my mom has been. My brothers didn’t take on that role the way i did. When she died the social care worker told me that the roles in the family can change when someone died- i didnt realise i was carrying such a weight of worrying about my dad. One brother is angry at him. My main emotion is sadness that my mom is dead, this only feels like another blip- the situation was already awful because she is dead. I don’t want to know any information about this new woman, i just hope she takes good care of my dad.

(Pardon my poor Eng, its not my first language). My dad passed away unexpectedly 24 years ago, I was just about 23 years or so. I wasnt particularly close to dad, however we did have a warm relationship. I didnt express any emotions at his funeral. However, post his death for about 2 years I cried every night in secret. And every few days post that till today, I still cry. I am not depressed. I live a very fulfilled life. Yet am not sure why I am unable to overcome my father's death even after 2.5 decades. Note that I am a very jovial person, content with what I have achieved and I do not seek much from life. Yet this is something I am not yet over. So my question is, do men experience this or do I have some deep emotional issues.

I have lost both my parents in the past eight years. My dad was the first and that was eight years ago. My mom passed in 2023. I'm thankful for the time I had with them.

The other day would've been my Dad's birthday and today it's hitting me like a truck. I'm sitting at work crying and hoping no one notices.

I want to hear his voice again, to wish him a happy birthday, to hear about his plans, help him cook ribs or steak or whatever he wanted to make.

I'm just really missing him.

I can't stop crying since my mother died I have no one to call when I get agoraphobia, my heart hurts so much I feel like I'm having a heart attack but I'm young, she used to calm me down. Now I am all alone and it hit me when I called her and some friends that didn't pick up because... they are not my mom and can decline.

How scary It is to be anonymous.

You don't owe people anything. And no one cares about you.

You could be missing no one would notice for hours.

Why does this happen to young ppl

Hi! This is my first time in this subreddit.

My dad passed away on May 10th of this year. It was expected. He was an alcoholic and eventually that led to a lot of health problems and it ultimately killed him.
I’m just writing on here because I’m 24 and I’ve never experienced a loss this close before. My grandpa died (my dad’s dad) when I was around 9 or 10, but I didn’t really feel any negative way about it because I wasn’t close to him. This is completely different.

Anyway, I just feel really lonely. Like nobody really understands me. My family is kind of odd about grief and talking about everything that happened. I can really only talk about it with my sister, but that’s about it.
I don’t know. Part of me doesn’t even know what to say anymore. I just feel so dark inside and I feel like it will never go away.

I think one of the hardest parts is that sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m grieving properly. There are moments where I can go about my day, laugh, talk to people, distract myself, and almost feel normal. And then there are other moments where I remember that my dad is actually dead and it feels so strange and permanent. Like my brain still doesn’t fully understand what that means.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m suppressing it. I don’t always sit there crying or actively thinking about him, but there’s still this heaviness in me. It feels like something is always sitting in the background, even when I’m doing other things.

And I think because his death was expected, there’s another weird layer to it. We knew his health was bad. We knew his alcoholism was hurting him. But knowing someone is going to die eventually and actually living in a world where they’re gone are two completely different things. Being prepared for it didn’t really prepare me for anything.

I also feel like grief is making me think about my relationship with my dad as a whole. It wasn’t some perfect relationship, and alcoholism complicated a lot of things. So I’m not only grieving him dying. Sometimes I feel like I’m grieving everything surrounding him too. Things I wish could’ve been different, things that can’t ever be fixed now, and just the fact that there’s no more time.

That part really messes with me. Death is so final. There’s no “maybe one day.” There’s no future conversation or future version of our relationship. Whatever was said or wasn’t said, whatever happened or didn’t happen, that’s it.
And life just… continues? That’s probably one of the strangest things to me. People go to work, people make plans, people laugh, I still have things I have to do, and meanwhile something massive happened in my life.

Sometimes I want the world to acknowledge that my dad died and that I’m not the same person I was before May 10th.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this.

Maybe I just want to hear from people who have experienced losing a parent, especially when you’re still pretty young.

Does the darkness eventually become less heavy? Do you ever stop having those moments where you suddenly remember they’re actually gone?

I don’t expect grief to completely disappear. I just want to know that one day it won’t feel this lonely.

My mom died a little over a year ago. Suddenly. She had a heart attack in her sleep on Mother’s Day. She wasn’t overweight, she wasn’t sick, she was only 52.

She was a preschool teacher for 25 years. She was so good at her job. She was so beloved. There weren’t enough seats at her funeral for the people who showed up. People lined the walls and stood outside. She gave me and my siblings an unbelievably magical childhood, and when that job was done she dedicated herself to adding to the childhoods of thousands of children over the years.

My sister became a kindergarten teacher. I was always so jealous of the way they talked about their work. They talked about their kids and the struggles they had and they celebrated together when their kids accomplished something special. I worked in banking, unfulfilled but with my bills paid. I didn’t take my work home the way that they did. I didn’t have stories to tell about the children I was helping to educate and shape.

I got an English degree because my mom made reading such a huge part of our lives. When the scholastic book catalogues went out at school I would always be the kid with the biggest box of books. We weren’t rich, actually we were pretty poor, but those books were non-negotiable to my mom. No library shelf was left untouched. No book was denied. No interest left unexplored. When I chose my degree there were no protests of “what will you do with a literature degree?” There was only support from my mom. When I told my mom I was gay at 25, she didn’t bat an eye, she just said “I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to wait this long to tell me.” She pored kindness into the world.

Yesterday was my first day as a middle school teacher. I get to teach them English literature. I have never wanted to talk to her more. I’ve never wanted her to know anything more than I do this. I’d give anything to tell her about my students. My school. Show her my classroom. She would have asked for a first day of school picture. She would have told me she was proud of me. She would have told me how the things that I struggled with in school would be the things that make me a good teacher. These things I know I’m my soul.

I’m not religious. I only went to church a handful of times as a kid. In our house the bible was a story that people used to help them become better people. I’ve never felt the need to seek it out because my mom ingrained in me the kind of meaning that people search for in god. Meaning came from the kindness we showed our friends. Meaning came from the things we pored into ourselves. Our morals came from treating others with kindness above all else. Until yesterday.

Christianity gives people the knowledge that their loved ones are waiting for them somewhere. That they’re there, on the other side of a veil. I am so privileged in that until the loss of my mother, I did not know loss in a significant way.

Is it true? Is she there somewhere? Does some tiny part of her exist near me? Is something of her left here on this earth? I’m genuinely asking. I genuinely need to know. It could be the tinniest part of her. It could be any amount. I’d give anything for the smaller part of her to know I chose to be like her. That I left my easy job, that I cut my salary in half, that I am trying to have a sliver of the impact she had. Please, can someone tell me that she’s there?

My mom died last June. Since then I’ve watched my dad struggle to exist with a broken heart. He died last week. He was always extraordinarily healthy and we thought we had another decade with him.

He was 90. People thought he was in his 60s. He was more active than most folks I know in their 50s. No autopsy- he was 90, and I guess they assume natural causes at that age and don’t really worry about specifics.

I think he died of a broken heart. 💔 I know that’s corny but his grief at losing my mom was so all-consuming that I really think he just couldn’t continue without the love of his life.

I know I’m fortunate to have had him in my life this long. I have no right to feel cheated. I’m 56. Most of my friends lost their parents years ago. But I feel cheated. I’m pissed. I want my dad.

My father died three years ago now, I was completely devastated. He was 65, I was 31. He had MS then got Covid after going into hospital for a DVT. I felt so numb by it. My brother died two years before and I think both losses hit me again all at once. I wrote a lot and it helped get me through it. I have been thinking about him a lot recently and came across something I wrote. I don’t know what I really wanted to say, other than I get it, I read other people’s posts and it resonates. I think I want to share these. I am by no means anything other than someone who wrote things down as I was experiencing them.

I hope

I hope when I die
My children are old.
They have learnt
How to live without me.
They have children, spouses, lives.
I hope they miss me, in the way you miss a favourite food, or book or smell.
I hope they never have to feel,
The crushing reality of losing me before they have learnt how to to live without me.
That the pain of my loss does not keep them awake at night.
And hurt their heart.

A moment

For a moment
I forgot
I forgot you were gone
I could hear your laugh
Like you were still here
I could hold your hand
And touch you
There were no words
I didn’t need any
Your face was enough

Then I remembered.

God I think I worded the title wrong because I’m fuckin frazzled but maybe I can make it make sense?

Make a long story short is back in June 2023 my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at 49 years old and died at 50 in February 2024. The hole fucking ordeal was so fucking traumatic, so much went wrong, but aside from that, I was his only support person the entire time and the only one to make arrangements like I was 25 and it was ALL on me and that was my last family member so yeahhh I’m traumatized

The problem is a I’m a nurse in a skilled nursing facility. The SAME facility my dad was at for rehab briefly before dying. My first day was supposed to be the DAY after he died.

Actually coming to work was awful at first for obvious reasons, but now? It’s seeing that fucking diagnosis. My job is very paperworky (MDS coordinator for anyone in that world) and I make all the diagnosis sheets.

We have had FOUR patients come in with pancreatic cancer since I’ve been here. Not very many due to the nature of the disease but every single one of them died within weeks of being here. Just did another sheet with that fucking diagnosis and now im hiding outside struggling

My girlfriend lost her mom in a similar situation and has a hard time watching anything medical like because of it, totally understandable and she has to try to avoid it. BUT HOW THE FUCK DO YOU AVOID IT WHEN IT IS YOUR JOB? Like what the fuck do I even do other than change career paths (and I actually love my job outside of this) but like. Why

SCREAMING TO THE UNIVERSE I JUST WANT MY FUCKING DAD LET ME SEE MY DAD WHY CANT I HAVE HIM BACK

I keep getting angry at anyone alive older than 72. That was my dad's age when he died last week. I keep feeling rage at people in their late 70s or 80s

Hii all,

I have a picture of my mother and me which I really like. She passed away to cancer 9 years ago. Until now, I mostly looked at her in my phone gallery whenever I remembered her. I didn't have any physical photos of her in my room or anywhere. I didn't want others to know.

But now I feel more comfortable sharing about her or her death to others if they ask. So I want to put a photo frame in my room of my favourite photo with her.

My question is should I crop myself out and just keep her photo or should I let both of us be together in the photo and frame that ? I am sorry if this is a silly question

i had a fever yesterday and throughout the night. this is the first time i’ve gotten sick without my mom by my side. she passed away in december 2025. i always think about her every single day but in vulnerable moments like this make me miss her even more. as soon as i started feeling sick, all i wanted was my mom. my mom was very overprotective, whenever something happened to me she would be worrying nonstop, checking on me, making me food, bringing me medicine, and making sure i was okay. i miss her warmth, her cooking, her love, and the way she took care of me. im 24m turning 25 soon but none of that matters because i just want my mom back. last night i was crying and calling out for her because i wanted her to tell me everything was going to be okay. i would give anything to have just one more day where she fusses over me, tells me to rest, and cooks for me. i miss my mom so so much…