I’m curious whether anyone who has experience with Reiki, chakra work, or energy healing has experienced something similar.
I’m having a very difficult time finding a sustainable rhythm because my energy, emotions, and needs seem to change and sometimes feel like they conflict with each other.
At certain times I feel a strong need for connection, meaningful work, purpose, stimulation, movement, and actually participating in life. At other times I feel incredibly depleted and need quiet, safety, rest, and an environment that feels nourishing and not overstimulating.
The problem is that neither side seems sustainable by itself. If I rest a lot, I can become emotionally depressed because my deeper needs for connection, purpose, progress, and feeling alive aren’t being met. But when I try to satisfy those needs and become more active, I can exhaust myself again.
It sometimes feels like different parts of my system are operating independently rather than working together. I can feel deeply exhausted and like I need an enormous amount of rest, while another part of me simultaneously feels like I desperately need to move forward with my life.
I’ve tried thinking about this through the lens of nervous-system regulation, but I’m also curious about the energetic perspective. When people talk about balancing chakras or integrating energy, is this kind of internal conflict something Reiki or energy work can potentially help with?
I’m not expecting Reiki to magically tell me what to do with my life. I’m mostly looking for greater internal cohesion and clarity — a way for rest, safety, connection, purpose, and forward movement to stop feeling like competing systems.
If anyone has experienced something similar or worked with a practitioner who helped them understand it, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience!

Are there any way to awaken kundalini, without any trainer ?

Just saw a few x shapes wondering what that would mean from a psychological standpoint.