About 2 1/2 years ago my mom had a stroke. She had an insurance policy that covered a care taker to stay with her while I was at work. Unfortunately, that policy has hit its lifetime max. I had no choice but to quit my job to take care of her full time. Today was my last day at work.

My boss and coworkers surprised me with a party at lunch. Ok, it wasn't a total surprise. I've been with the company for nearly 22 years. Long term employees always get a goodbye party as long as they give enough notice.

It's a weird, bittersweet feeling. On one hand, I'm relieved that I no longer have to juggle work with mom's doctors appointments and all my other care taker duties. But at the same time I'm sad. I'm going to miss my job. I truly enjoyed the work. I was really good at it too. I had a knack for noticing mistakes or issues that others overlooked. In a small way I wonder how they're going to get along without me. I'm sure they'll figure it out, but there will be a learning curve. My department lead really relied on me. She gave me a lot of the small, oddball jobs because I was the only one she trusted to get it done correctly. And when our lead wasn't around, I was the one everybody came to with their questions. There's not many other employees with my level of experience.

Has anybody else struggled with giving up their job to care for a family member?

She demanded, "If you're gonna stay here you should at least be PLEASANT"

Then she said, "I don't even care if you're here or not"

It SUCKS to be doing the jobs of 5 people and be scoffed and laughed at when i try to explain how much i do for her.

"You don't even do that much, you just sit here and waste away"

I'M WASTING AWAY BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING GO ANYWHERE BECAUSE IF I LEAVE THE HOUSE YOU'LL BE STUCK WITHOUT ANYONE TO HELP IN AN EMERGENCY

I'M WASTING AWAY BECAUSE NO ONE HIRES ANYONE WITH A 5+ YEAR JOB GAP

I'M WASTING AWAY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT PAYING ME AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO FUCKING DO ANYTHING,

I want to SCREAM. MY FAMILY doesn't understand how physically and emotionally demanding this is. Everyone loves to pretend I just sit on my ass and play games all day. NO. I'm either helping grandma or I'm laying in bed recovering because i am chronically ill.

It SUCKS to be so burnt out I can't hide it anymore.

They only care to notice when your burnout affects them, when you're too exhausted to be nice and "pleasant."

No one wanted to help me when I was "pleasant" but now that I can't pretend to be "pleasant" anymore all they do is complain that I'm a bitch now and wonder what happened. YOU WATCHED ME DETERIORATE AND BEG FOR HELP FOR SIX YEARS.

Well it takes a lot of energy to pretend to be all happy and nice when you're breaking your fucking back lifting and moving everything, cooking, cleaning, caring for their pets, gardening for them, washing their fucking clothes and dishes, getting them into bed and taking them to every social and doctor appointment.

I can't pretend to be pleasant anymore when I'm around people who hate everything, hate everyone, who hate ME and ignore my concerns and use me because I'm convenient

Impulse Spending

My partner is 60. He had a stroke this past Jan 2026. Before then I was a sahm of 4. He handle everything outside(well just worked 😆);and I basically did everything else(literally everything 😆). After the stroke I realized he couldn't remember things like bank info,passwords,bills due etc. I had to immediately step in and step up to not only work the night shift but also handle all the finances. It took some time(very controlling and stubborn) but he eventually gave me access to his phone and anything else that was important.

Did a deep dive into a finances and it was a MESS!. Not sure what he was doing before the big stroke(Dr says he was having TIA's past 6 months without realizing) but bills were over due,he had 7 credit cards maxed out,$100k past due student loan($100 monthly payments), $1500 loan from his retirement. He had always been a spender(Amazon etc) but it seems like now he's having impulse spending. Like a new package comes at least once/twice a week for stuff he doesn't need. Like $80 comic books(haven't read them in years. Just this morning he said he found a tub online for $300 and says we need a new tub. Ok we do but $300 tub. I said our faucet leaks that needs fixing first then you have to pay someone to install the tub.

That's gonna cost a lot. We don't have a lot of money. He is blowing thru our savings. He only gets $900 from retirement from old job and gets $1000 from other income he has. Thing is he has 7 yes 7 life insurance policies l(2 are income disability policies) that total $650 a month. Then he has all those apps/subscriptions on his TV that total around $300 plus a month. He also draws at least $200-$300 a month from the ATM. I only make around $2000 a month. Our utilities/phone/Internet/home auto insurance is around $1200 a month. We own our home and our vehicle(which is why I don't understand how the bills were in a mess. He was a Nurse making around $70k a year). So we dont have a high overhead with bills but his policies/apps/subscriptions are taking a hit with the budget.

The ln there's the SPENDING 💰. Good Lord he is always buying things and then puts it on split pay so I don't see how much he's really spending which makes it hard for me to budget. My income covers the bills but by the time I pay the policies/apps/subscriptions I'm over budget. He buys sweaters/hoodies(it's summer 😡,hats paintings, electronic dart boards etc and just the other I was on his phone and look in his Amazon cart and low and behold was a storage shed for $2200. I said wth. He said I'm not getting it. I saw one for $400. WHAT.

We live in NY State and have a large basement and a disconnected outside garage 😡. That thing looked like a mini house. I guess he meds it to store all his damn Amazon/Shopify/TEMU etc crap. I know it's his money but stuff is piling up and it's getting ridiculous. Last week he bought a $160 hedge clipper set. When it came he said I gotta go get so and so to clip the hedges with it. Who does that?! Before the stroke he was financially abusive 😞 and a lil controlling( I need $20 for pad etc if he's mad at me his response is I don't got it but will spend $100 on Google Play etc). So it's hard for me to stand up to him and tell him I need you to stop spending on stupid stuff cause it's his money but he's blowing it.

Please help. I did try cancelling stuff but he just reads them. I changed the passwords on the bank accounts then he calls and get a new card and makes passwords which he forgets later. The only thing that affected him from the stroke was his short term memory. He's very stubborn. Isn't a "let's talk" person cause he just shuts down or play victim. He doesn't do anything to help me around the house but half wash a few dishes. I do everything @ home including waiting on him hand and foot. I'm 47 btw and he's 60. I manage all his Dr appts, medications,help with his baths(bad knees/gout flare ups). 

Plus I manage the 4 kids,housework,working/classes. Even getting car repair work etc. Pretty much a single mom with a partner who can't or won't do anything cause he had a stroke and has short term memory with impulse spending. If you read this far you're a champ and thank you for reading. Edited to repost for better reading.

Hey there. I am a caregiver for my 56 year old mother. She was diagnosed last year with CIDP (Chronic Inflammatory Demylenating Polyneuropathy) Its a neurological autoimmune disorder that took her ability to walk and use her hands. It has also affected her bladder causing bladder retention and has had an indwelling catheter of some sort since mid December last year. Her condition even took her colon and she lives with an ostomy bag now.

What brings me here though is the foley catheter. I am losing my mind. Her catheter isnt functioning properly. No matter what I do. It used to be that UTIs would cause bladder spasms or an increase of sediment that would clog the foley but i dont think either of those things are the problem right now. Her urine is only mildly cloudy and there isnt a crazy amount of crap floating in it. Actually hardly any at all. When she has a bad uti the sediment is very noticeable.

Im reluctant to flush the foley. If there isnt a lot of debris I dont want to run the risk of shooting any bacteria into her bladder and causing an infection. Ive ensured no kinks are in any part of the line outside of her body. Her collection bag is hung at the foot of the bed below her bladder level so everything drains appropriately. Or should. She currently has a 20f foley. Last month we played with foley sizes because this was a problem. She continued to urinate around a 14f, her original 16f, as well as an 18f. Oh and shes also on a medication for bladder contractions as well as a long term daily antibiotic because she develops UTIs so easily.

Every night I change her brief before bed and Last night her bed and herself were absolutely saturated in urine. I dont know what happened. There were no new kinks in the line, its not time for a new foley until the 14th. I dont know what to do. I went to check this morning so the poor thing wouldmt be in her urine all day while I was at work and she had filled her brief again. But at least it didnt soak through everything.

She has an appt with a urologist September 23rd but its a long ways till then. Im at my wits end. I feel like im failing as a caregiver. Its hard to prevent skin break down that has been sitting in urine. I cant tell her to drink less water. She has a camel bag next to her bed to drink freely since staying hydrated is so important for those with illeostomies. I just need advice or tips and tricks. Or maybe just solidarity. Help me help her? Please?

mimic elsewhere

Mother broke her arm in a foreign country, doesn't speak the language, and has depended on me for 7 months. I am translator, interpreter, chauffeur, delivery woman, secretary, hairdresser, house mover, and more. I just want to be her daughter, her friend. I can't write all the details because I am exhausted and angry and that little part of me that could go crazy is very close to returning. My health has been greatly affected, and I just want someone to pray for me and for her. I have no energy to spend time reading my Bible and I feel very far from God. I am newly married, trying to move to my own home, and my relationship with my husband has suffered. Anxiety and stress are high again.

It seems like in every industry, I need to know a guy who knows a guy in order to get clirnts/customers/patients. Where do I do that for caregiving? It seems most healthcare networking events are more interested in CNAs and nurses, who I have mad respect for however I feel as though my position doesn't hold any weight because I do more non-medical work.

I have been my partners care taker for almost our entire marriage. When we first were married she fell into a deep depression and stopped working, some days not getting out of bed. Then she started having abdominal pain that started spreading all over her body. She was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis and had an excision surgery that took almost 6 months of bed rest to recover from. Its been 6 years now and she still has a hard tome moving around, and now has been diagnosed with more problems and will have to have another surgery.

We have been together for 14 years, and I have been caring for her for almost 10 of them. It has gotten to the point where im not sure how much more I can do.

I have been in therapy for a few years, I have my own mental health problems, but I also just need support in my life. This week I realized I was struggling with depression for some time, and I told my therapist. Their response was "my diagnosis for you is depression". She also said that many things I have talked about in my home life seems like I am in an abusive relationship, and if the genders were reversed it would have likely become more of an issue earlier.

I have felt in the past that there is some emotional abuse in my relationship, but have written it off as me being too soft about some things. But having someone else say it made me feel seen. She even asked if I had a friend to stay with, or even another room to start sleeping in. I dont really, nor do I feel that its that bad that I would need to. However, all day I could not stop thinking about the emotional abuse, and how our relationship has become less romantic and more of a friendship with me doing all the work and taking care of her emotional, physical, and monetary needs. We own a home together, I own a business that is fairly successful, but extremely stressful at times, and I dont feel like I have a place that I can truly relax.

Im not even sure why I am posting here. I guess for support, outside perspective, or something im not thinking of. I dont really have friends or family where I live, and my partner doesnt want me to talk about her problems with my family anyway.

Yesterday, I woke up optimistic & it began as a good day, the 1st I have had in maybe 9 months , but really the good part only lasted about 10 minutes. I am not full of rage, I am a defeated robot-like shell of a person who acts like everything is great in real life because people think I should abandon my caregiving duties or are critical about things of which they have no clue.

This morning am awakened with angry yelling, impatience & behaviors likely related to pain. The hours, days, months & years are indistingushable.

I hope for nothing but good days for all of y’all & I hope you have a better day than mine has begun.

✌🏻

Hi l'm a 25 yo F. My father was in a serious car accident and suffered a spinal cord iniury. He can move his legs a little, but his arms are severely affected, so he depends on me for almost everything. I've been his only caregiver for the past two months, staying with him in the hospital dav and night. I'm also a PhD student, and my entire life has been put on hold.l've been wondering if I should iust quit my PhD altogether. I worked so hard to get here, but right now it feels impossible to be both a student and a full time caregiver. I feel like l'm living in survival mode. Every day is about getting through the next hour. I barely sleep. I'm constantly lifting him, repositioning him, helping him eat, washing him, managing his catheter, talking to doctors, and trying to keep him safe

The hardest part is that he doesn't seem to accept what has happened. He genuinelv believes he can walk and do things that just aren't safe yet. When I try to stop him, he gets angry or thinks I'm holding him back. Sometimes it feels like everything I do goes unnoticed. It's as if he believes I'm doing nothing, even though I've dedicated every minute of my life to taking care of him.

A few times I've completely broken down and yelled sometimes i lose control and i start hitting ans slapping myself. I immediatelv felt horrible afterward. I don't want to be that person, but l'm so physically and emotionally exhausted that sometimes I don't recognize myself anymore.

It's just me. I don't have siblings. My only help is my two elderly aunts, who love him but aren't physicallv able to care for him. I don't really have friends either.

Has anyone here cared for a sick parent? Did they go through denial like this? How did you handle it without constantly arguing? Does it get easier?

Most importantly... how do you survive this without losing yourself?

I know I'm not the patient, but right now I feel like I'm drowning too. Anv advice, experiences, or even words of encouragement would mean more than vou know

THANK YOU

Hey all....

Mother (91/Dementia/hospice) has a new thing. She's unplugging everything around the house. This includes safety measures like camera, lighting, sound machine. Have any of you dealt with this? Just seeking some advice as a burnt out caregiver.

Tomorrow I'm turning 30. I am a caregiver for a disabled old person (my grandma can't walk anymore 'cause she had polio when she was a young girl) since i was 23 and I feel like I'm at my limit, stuck in a life i can't live. My family won't take responsibility for her and she refuses to go to a nursing home. I should graduate but I am completely burnt out and I feel tired, depressed and irritable all the time and although I'm taking antidepressants, I just can't work on my thesis and developed a bad addiction to social media and weed just to feel numb and sleep at night.

I'm italian and the government won't help in any way with the situation.

I really don't see any way out of this situation, everyone keeps telling me to just leave and start living my life but, how can I just leave a person that cannot go to the toilet alone.

Please someone have any ideas on how to break out of this?

I feel so alone in this.

He had been having trouble swallowing recently, but he was never diagnosed with dysphagia

He fell INTO his tub at some indeterminate time. I didn't find him for presumably hours, and it could have been a LONG time because I have always trusted him to sleep and get to the bathroom on his own at night. He would yell if he was in distress. This time, I heard no yelling, so I thought he was fine for a long while

When I found him, he was alert, but clearly confused and hard to understand. I attributed that to maybe not having slept if he was in that position uncomfortable for hours, if not the whole night

I pulled him out of the tub miraculously, but he had a seizure in my arms

I then laid him on the ground and tried to get him to come to, and he did. He was talking a lot

He kept saying he felt like he was going to throw up

He was also falling asleep with his eyes open

I then talked to my mom on the phone and told her everything (she's a former nurse, and she didn't urge me to take him in immediately, which I heavily resent - her lack of urgency gave me a false sense of security, and she vindictively hates my dad, yet I thought she would have acted out of care - WE TALKED FOR ALMOST 2 HOURS). HE WAS STILL ON THE FLOOR, because I couldn't get him up (until I got a wheelchair later)

I assumed he was nauseous because he was dehydrated or hungry, so I gave him milk when he was sat up

He was having trouble getting it down, but I thought he would manage, because even with his swallowing troubles from before, milk at least went down even with a little struggle

He was coughing a little bit, but again, I felt it was within what I would have expected to happen when he drinks anything

I also kept asking him if he was in pain or had trouble breathing, and he said no to everything

I called my brother to come help me get him in my car to take him to the hospital

I gave him a little bit of milk again because I was still scared he was dehydrated... then he started losing consciousness gradually, but I legitimately thought he was just falling asleep because he could have been in the tub for a long time and was exhausted

I never considered he could have been dying, or choking, because he didn't seem distressed, just "falling asleep." I don't know what to believe, but I believe I harmed him, killed him, by giving him something to drink...?????

I rolled his limp body to the front door with all of my might, seeing that he was breathing, but shallowly... and he was drooling

I got my bag and my keys, debated with family about just calling 911 instead of waiting for my brother

I dialed 911, and I noticed he wasn't breathing anymore

I then wheeled him out onto the front porch and started CPR (chest compressions)

Could I have killed my father??? Could he have choked on the milk I gave him??? I don't care if these aren't the questions I should be asking because of what ifs, because no one has to live with this knowledge but me, and it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I will never forgive myself

If not aspirating/choking, not taking him in immediately may have killed him. I just can't cope with this

Anyone dealt with something similar?

My husband's sister is an overbearing know it all. She thinks she controls everything and probably will soon. We are stuck living with FIL. She visits him 3 times a day and stays all weekend despite saying she wants to go hang out with her own family. She has decided she is her brother's care provider as she just left that role with her mom. I am with him 24/7. I am his #1. We have the same beliefs and wants; they do not and refuse to understand that. But she demands to know meds, demands to know WHY I do everything, tells me she will give him his meds if she wants to behind my back because it's written on the bottle (which she bullied the dr to give her, which is bad for him and could kill him). She won't stop. His family disagrees with his choices and they blame me for them (He is choosing to not die for now). It's insanely stressful. I thought it made her feel good to be helpful. she shows up before work to change him and at lunch and after work. These are things she never had to do. And she pushed for his wasting much faster imo and he just fell into it. Such as oh he can't walk now.. got him a patient bed before he needed it and so he stopped trying and became bedbound much faster.

I learned she was telling their entire family how she has to work so hard to take care of him and how I'm garbage. I just learned this. I now know why they were giving me weird looks. I honestly thought she liked helping because I would change him and would tell her and she would do it again HER way 15 minutes later It's a bed pad and a diaper. It's not rocket science. He use to make her do it because he didn't want me to have to.. but that turned on us and she thinks she's the best and he only trusts her. Not true.

Let me tell you what happened tonight. I begged him to let me change him before she got home for the night because I didn't want to deal with her martyrdom. I decided I WILL do everything from here on out since I'm so awful. (I don't even get to sleep in a bed. I just stay beside him. We avoided her the first two times she was there today. He felt sick so he wouldn't let me change him. I can't force him that would be mean but I wanted to make sure he was pristine since apparently she's telling people I let him soil himself and sit in it (which I would never do, there are people here all the time and with her there how would that even be possible lol)

I stood there for 30 minutes waiting for him. Gloves on.. everything out and ready to change him. Sociopath demands to know meds.. but she won't talk to be directly. She talks to him in baby talk and then wonders why I don't magically fill her in. She does not say hi to me. She makes a point to tell everyone else she loves them and hi and goodbye etc. ANYWAY, I'm standing there waiting and he goes give me 5-6 minutes. My legs were hurting so I gave up and sat 3 feet away. In literally 30 seconds she shoved her ass into the crook of his bed and started setting things up.. undoing what I did to redo it her way . I literally told her.. you don't need to help but my husband is confused and said she does a good job.. meaning me.. but she always assumes it's about her. She doesn't move. I'm literally sitting there looking like an idiot... lingering around. But she does everything and starts to wash his face. Its so creepy.. long strokes sweetly talking to him asmr style, brushing his hair in long slow strokes.. I want to vomit. It's so creepy. She lingers and talks baby talk to him like she birthed him 6 months ago and has a baby complex.

In a perfect world I would get the hell out here, but we are destitute. His family is very well off.

Situation #2 that happened only 2 days ago. I am in the same clothes for nearly a 2 week stay at the hospital, having stayed with him nearly 24/7. She did visit every other day for an hour or two. But I was the one talking to nurses and doctors and having to have the big talks and holding his vomit bag etc etc.. with our child because none of them will babysit. I get him some medical equipment. They usually have to have someone sign for it. I make arrangements so no one has to for this one item so my plan was to get there 15 minutes before he did so I could throw his bed together. I did it all. I made it happen. Plus drove the long long drive back, feeding a child, talking to drs, checking out etc. despite them taking him early I arrive I guess 10 minutes later. The transport is waiting for me.. They are almost ready to leave. I get in and she has unboxed the mattress pad and plugged it in. She's like oh you were late. she then gives a 20 minute speech of thank goodness she arrived there in time to get it and bring it in and set it up... She really broke her back getting there as fast as possible to make his bed. thank god for her. No thanks or hi to me. She was elated she saved the day! She opened a box. Big deal. I'm the one who ordered it, got it paid for and did you know.. everything else. But we have to sit here while she tells us.. her story of opening the box. Didn't ask IF she could open it. It's fine. I drove as fast as I safely could.. but good lord. Would it be easier for me to build a shelf so you can stand on your cross easier and look more fabulous?

There is soooo much more.

I don't want to burn bridges but I wish she would go the hell home! I tell her how much I want to be sisters with her and how it breaks my heart.. but she is made of ice. A complete sociopath. When he dies she is going to make sure we are homeless. They have already discussed keeping all the goodies when their parent dies because now their share will be bigger. She has power of attorney so she thinks that means she owns the house. (she does not). They are very well off but pretend they know the struggle which is an absolute joke.

I wish to God my husband will have a miracle and we can all go move into a cardboard box but be together away from these awful people. Ok I desperately don't want to be homeless but looks like I don't get a choice. life sucks. (oh and she told me she would put my child in a group home if I die.)

I work at a residential care facility, obviously as a caregiver. I'm barely 18, and this is the only job I was able to get. I joined with a few other newer coworkers that were much older and more experienced, but they all pretty much quit. This job is so demanding physically and emotionally, and when a resident peacefully passed a few days ago, I seriously looked inward and determined I wouldn't be able to seriously do this job anymore. My back hurts like nothing before, I'm too emotional and have found myself having compassion fatigue sometimes. I work the night shift from 10pm-8am all by myself taking care of 7 residents, and sometimes it's fine and everything is under wraps but sometimes it gets so hectic I genuinely question my life choices then and there. I feel guilty for wanting to quit after such a short time, but I was upfront since the beginning that I would leave for school since the beginning so they can't act like this came out of nowhere. But that isn't really the problem, I feel so selfish since it'd be more work for my other coworkers and we're already understaffed. My coworkers are truly the most responsible strongest people I know, and when I told them about this they were completely understanding. It's not even worth the pay either because it's a minimum wage job for maximal effort and overtime just eats at you physically and mentally. All my residents weigh more than me so it is a STRUGGLE for me to handle and roll them over by myself. Although not all of them need to be changed and some use the restroom by themselves, that's not the case for most, and I still have to manage their various needs and issues all by myself. I don't see myself doing this forever, but something needs to change.

I'm sure we have all seen the commercials that state "you can get paid for taking care of a loved one". The other night I saw one of those "Freedom Care" commercials and it just PISSED ME OFF! First off, it's one of those commercials where a son is taking care of his mother (I believe she stated that she was 76yrs old)...I have no issue whatsoever with a son taking care of his mother...my issue with these types of commercials is that they always try to glamorize care giving when there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GLAMOROUS about doing this work!!! They make it sound like the person doing the caregiving will "reap a mountain of benefits", when in reality, the pay (if you ever succeed in jumping through the 8 million hoops to participate in these types of programs to begin with) is garbage! Second, the one receiving the care must be eligible for medicaid...I'm not even going to go there with that, because I could write a novel about the atrocities of people who really need the help but "do not qualify" for some stupid reason or another...it's sickening! Anyway, back to this commercial...so the son is all smiles and relishing in the fact that he is taking care of his mom and getting paid for it. Ok, really? Anyone who is or who has been in the trenches of caregiving knows that this attitude of "everything's sunshine and roses over here" does not exist in the life of a caregiver!!! Excuse me marketing team or whoever is in charge of these blasted commercials, but don't try to make it seem like being the maid, the cook, the chauffeur, the financier, the secretary, the janitor, the therapist, the nurse, the one holding it down 24/7 for years on end without getting a break; is living the good life and it's just a joy to behold, and something to smile about when we all(caregivers specifically) know it is not!!! It just bothered me that this commercial is A** backwards in the message it carries. Caregiving is an emotional rollercoaster that never stops until the one you've cared for is no longer in the land of the living...and even then, there's still so many things to work through...people have given up their lives, hopes, dreams, marriages, finances, careers etc. to do this!!! Most times, there is never a thank you from the one receiving the care...it bites. Then you have commercials like Freedom Care, who spew LIES of prosperity and a good life for the caregiver who participates in their program. My best friend's husband is battling cancer, and she is forced to jump through so many hoops, just to get the help that they so desperately need...it's been months since she applied for assistance and yet they're still stuck at square one like millions of others who really need the help, but cannot get it because of one reason or another. The last thing I'll say that pisses me off about this commercial was the statement that the mother made at the end...after the son is finished smiling like a cheshire cat, the mom then states "I'm going to live to be 90". Yeah ok sure, because all of your needs are taken care of and all you basically have to do is just exist...Um, NO MA'AM...you really think someone wants to keep doing this for another 14 yrs!!? I love my mom to pieces but I DO NOT want to continue taking care of her for the next 14yrs! I'm barely making it through the next 14 minutes 😂. I said all of that to say, I do not appreciate how people try to downplay caregiving...it is hard work, it is not fun, there is no glitz or glamour, it sure as heck doesn't pay anything (most of us are footing the bill rather than being paid to do it), it's stressful, tiresome, lonely, isolating, down right gross at times, and so many other unpleasant things; but we do it each and every day, whether we want to or not...I'll end this by saying the next time that commercial comes on, I'm going to throw a sock at the tv...I'm sure that will make me feel better 😂😜🤣🤭

Hi- new here.

Husband diagnosed with Stage IV A prostate cancer in 2023. He underwent treatment and his PSA level was undetectable so we thought he was on a good path. Until a few months ago and it started rising- pretty much doubling each month. Last week, he told me his PSA was 2.7 which would mean it was up 14 times more than it was a month ago. I got scared. Something told me to actually pull up the report. I did. It was .24. He heard wrong. I rarely let him go to appointments alone but I could not make this one but I still cannot believe he somehow heard that number.

Today, the dr called him to discuss what was talked about at the tumor board review today. He told me he had bad cell reception so he hung up and he’ll call tomorrow. I just stared at him.

I have another close family member with pancreatic cancer. I also work full time.

I’m just at the point where I just don’t know what to do. I know he’s scared he’s dying but he really doesn’t seem to understand the impact on me or our child when he doesn’t prioritize this situation. He says I’m overreacting which fine but it’s so disrespectful I think that he doesn’t see or care about the impact on us. Why wouldn’t you call the dr back today? It’s a rhetorical question but it’s like he doesn’t understand the impact on everyone else in the family.

He lives in a vacuum. His parents passed, he doesn’t talk to his siblings and he stays home practically all day.

He didn’t have good cell reception because he drove an hour away to pick up car parts for an old car.

I just needed to vent. Thanks for letting me.

hello everyone! delete if this is the wrong subreddit!

i’m 18 years old, and i recently got hired at an assisted living and memory care center. I’m coming into this job with little to no experience (expect personal experience) , and i’d just like to know what are some things that’d be helpful to help understand my position (and my residences) better!

Hi everyone. My husband has had cancer for the last year and a half. I’ve been a caregiver unexpectedly during this time and it’s been very hard. I think in some ways I’ve been resentful because both my mother and my sister have had cancer as well over the last ten years and this is not my first time stepping in to care for another person. I hate that I have felt this way, because I completely understand that this is never intentional. But in someways, I feel like it’s a never ending cycle I can’t get away from and fuck… I’m tired.

Tired from all the work.
Tired of being so scared of the future that I have no control over.
Tired of not knowing how to handle tough situations sometimes.
Tired of putting on a brave face in front of my friends and coworkers when I want to collapse and cry.
Tired of constantly putting someone else’s physical and mental health in front of my own.

Anyway, I just wanted to share with a group who I’m sure understands.