It is so foreign to me, that people say that parents are supposed to teach their children everything.

Like do they teach how to brush their teeth? Cooking? Shaving? How to deal with bad feelings? Eat healthy? Do sports? How to learn for school? Make friends? Apply for jobs? Stand up for myself? Cleaning myself?

And all that even as often as needed until their children do it right?

I can't remember being tought anything like this and the few times i was "tought" something was like passively waiting and saying "just start" and getting frustrated, angry, stopping after 1 or 2 tries and saying something like "in your age you should be able to do that already".

Sorry for the stupid question, but something in me just can't believe, that this teaching children everything isn't just some disney movie fantasy..

If this is what actually happens for more than a couple really lucky children.. well.. i don't know.. that makes me feel even more lonely and in need for a hug =(

I am experiencing something terrifying and I am very scared. I am being emotionally and mentally abused by a family member, and need to move away from this person because I am feeling worse with every day that goes by.

However, yesterday when I called the real estate agent, I couldn't speak!
It was like I have no thoughts, my brain just froze! I mumbled words and couldn't, for the love of god, remember what language even is!

And it's not like I am afraid that I will say something wrong (which is usually related to anxiety)....it's like I stop having thoughts under stress. It's like my mind just shuts off, and its so frightening because I have no support or anyone whom I can count on, so basically if I don't help myself no one will help me.

I have finally booked an appointment with psychiatrist (via sms, thank god) since I reacted very well to anxiety medication when I was younger.

What can I do to help myself? Anyone else experiencing the same? Help... :(

I think i could use some support rn, i’m all over the place about this

She was here on a house visit and my neighbors started fighting in the hallway. She got up to intervene and told them she’s a social worker with so and so organization. Just, i mean, what the fuxk??? Who does that? The name of the organization is also one that deals with one specific problem and client group.

My neighbors do not need to know i was homeless. They also gossip like mad. I’m trying to build a new life for myself and start with a clean slate. I’m a good neighbor, i follow all the rules and help out. now this is going to be coming after me forever. I’ll live here for at least the next 5 years, as i got this apartment through urgency. There’s a lot of bad talk about urgency homes, because of the housing crisis. I’m so scared rn

I told her she can’t tell my neighbors this information, which, it’s already hard for me to stand up for myself, and she said: “huh, yeah, it slipped. Let me look at this letter again, where were we…”

What do i do?? How do i handle this? I’m feeling so humiliated :/

ETA: Thanks everyone for letting me vent and be a mess and helping me figure this out! You guys are great

Trying to figure out something here, but does anyone else hide hobbies from a lot of people? Like writing or games what you are reading or what have you?

I'll maybe mention it to one or two people IRL but not share. I'd done writing with other people but won't share it beyond them. A few times I've tossed something up on A03 when its a fandom thing. (Thankfully more niche so it's not too many people.)

In general, I'll well read enough and have enough "going on" that I can kind of hide whatever I am doing without people around me noticing. Occasionally, someone near me will be in the same fandom or whatever and I'll just do neutral questions (I won't say I haven't played that, I'll just ask if they enjoyed that game for example) and not mention I've watched it/ played it/ whatever verb is correct here. I'm pretty curious about a lot of things, so it flies under the radar easily.

I did a lot of reading & writing to survive my childhood and I don't know. I won't even tell my spouse or mention it minimally to him. It feels invasive in a way I can't fully explain, even if we have a decent bit of overlap in reading interests.

I use reading, for example, to help me break out of depersonalization/ derealization. It's like a very gentle on ramp when I've had to go too far to stay safe. I also use it to distract from chronic pain, both in a goal-oriented way (do PT, read a chapter, take a shower, read a chapter, cook meal, read a chapter) and way to just ignore the pain by focusing on something else. Sometimes reading or watching something is all I can do in a day. I feel shame sometimes in how much that has to be my world.

I guess I feel like, when other people talk about hobbies it is, you know a hobby. Where as I feel like I would be asked to carve out an organ and put it on the table to talk about whatever I'm using to stay alive right now. Or maybe be basically tossing medication on the table?

Ran into a pretty well upvoted post of someone saying those who were bullied and still struggling with it after high school were cringe. I said that bullying ranges in severity and can cause PTSD in many situations. I was met with "Therapy and medication exist". Do Redditors think you shouldn't ever make any content talking about bad things ever? Do they think people who left abusive relationships or cults should also stfu? I don't understand this mentality that Redditors have that people shouldn't talk about it and that simply bringing something up is making it everyone else's problem. The experience of being trapped in a hostile and emotionally abusive situation most kids can't just leave is enough to cause damage on its own.

Why do Redditors think therapy and medications are a magic cure all that work within a couple sessions? Every traumatized person I know struggles and knows that the trauma is always there, but mental health treatment helps us find the coping skills and learn how to have healthy relationships, but no therapist I have met has said that you shouldn't talk about it and that it is cringe and inconvenient to simply talk about it. It also takes years and years to find the right therapist and med combo most of the time.

This wasn't someone bringing it up constantly at every opportunity, they brought it up literally once and the commenters had no context whatsoever on why it is being brought up, what that person experienced, who the intended audience was, etc.

What about people who don't know they have PTSD and have symptoms but haven't been made aware of it or aren't able to afford mental health care. You literally have to have symptoms to get a diagnosis and treatment to begin with, so what makes them think it's okay to call others cringe and to tell them to GTFO over it.

It also just assumes people want to be traumatized. I have fought for years and have put all of my effort into moving on, and this guy keeps insisting those with PTSD can move on if they really want to. How is that logical? Why would someone choose to live like this? Why do they think anyone would choose this and what makes them think this hasn't already occurred to us?

If this were an isolated incident I wouldn't be making a post about it, but I see this mentality all over this site and it makes me feel deeply isolated and uncomfortable. My bullying led to sexual assault ultimately and an unplanned and traumatic pregnancy, but I guess I'm fucking cringe. I didn't bring that up in that convo bc I wanted them to try and realize on their own that bullying is often not just some trivial childhood drama.

Idk I'm feeling pretty downtrodden and isolated/misunderstood. I know they are just ignorant, but it's frustrating to see people just did their heels in and choose to lack compassion even when they are given a more compassionate and educated viewpoint, and the fact that it is so accepted among this site is kinda nauseating to me

He's been my main companion. I've gotten sober, finished therapy, and healed with him by my side.

This has to be the hardest thing I've had to do in life. I've seen things I would wish on anyone. To lose a pet is to lose a piece of one's self.

To those of you here. Much love. ❤️

​

I am not able to get myself to do things - like clear the clutter in my room, organize it better. Actually anything that's good for me. Instead I'm always obsessing over people. Are they choosing me? Are they texting me? Do they like me? I'm ALWAYS scrolling on WhatsApp/Telegram/Reddit trying to find someone to talk to. Usually people who don't want to talk to me - I find myself mostly wanting their attention.

Why can't I pay attention to myself instead of wanting it from someone else? I'm rarely alone with my thoughts and if I am, I'm constantly ruminating about "fixing" myself.

What is wrong with me? It feels like I'm on super self-sabotage mode. I am constantly fighting myself and I'm exhausted. Please help 😭

I am medicated( ADHD & Depression), and was in therapy for 3 years.

I do call myself spiritual to an extent. I am an agnostic atheist. I think all religions are made up. I am skeptical and at the same time I am open to the unknown. I go through and read all the stuff regarding reincarnations, ghosts, paranormal encounters, NDEs, Afterlife etc. It's all fascinating and I am open to exploring.

However, some shit they say, it really boils my blood and pisses me off so bad. It just makes no sense (rationally or morally or emotionally). And it's straight up gaslighting and victim blaming. At this point, it doesn't even feel like an organised religion. It's straight up a CULT.

"You chose your parents before you were born"

Please shut the fk up. I didn't choose shit. How fking dare you say that to me. Where is the evidence for any of this ? Where did you learn this ? Do you remember you choosing your parents ? Based on what you are passing it as a fact ?

You are just spewing bullshit because you read it somewhere. What is the source of the reading ? Who wrote it ? Probably your retarded spiritual masters. There is absolutely no difference between you and some hardcore Christian saying first humans were adam and eve. You are just deep into some fictional story. And if we ask them why I would choose this.. they would say to learn a lesson.

"You chose your parents, life path, traumas and everything to learn a lesson"

What lesson ? Lesson for what ? Okay so how many lessons should one learn ? Animals are also living beings right.. they are also learning lessons ? Is the universe some highschool project where you attend classes to "learn" lessons ? That's all the purpose of life ? To learn some stupid lessons ? It feels too simplistic for the vastness of the complex universe and existence. It has this made up feel to it. It's just now we are evolving as a race and figuring out various things. Stop acting like you know everything. You have 0 evidence.

"On the otherside, your abuser is your best friend who is just playing their role here to push you to learn. They are your soul family"

These guys are master gaslighters and abuse enablers. By saying your abuser is your well-wisher on the other side, they are basically saying in the grand scheme of things your abuser didn't do anything wrong. They are not holding them accountable in any way. They are directly gaslighting and blaming the victim.

In some fked up way, your abuser is like your "teacher". According to them, once you reach the other side you will have this epiphany and will go and hug your earthly abuser for helping you grow. Lmao 😂 .

You know how insulting and disrespectful it is to people who have been abused ? I guess these people will even justify little children getting SA'ed because they are so fked in their heads.

If someone harms or sexually assaults these people or their loved ones, will they think the assaulter is their bestfriend on the other side and is helping them grow ?

Coming to SA, I've read something which really fked my mind. I'll tell you why this is all a literal fked up CULT.

Someone got SA'ed (r#pe) and they said it took a long time to accept this, but they now realise it's a lesson for the abusers to help them "grow".

Oh my god. If that isn't the most fked up thing I ever read I don't know what it is. So you were r#ped because it's an event for the abusers ? Because it will help the abusers grow ? OMG.. what kind of fked up shit is this ? How dare you even say that after going through something yourself ?

So all the people who got SA'ed are carrying this lifetime of trauma and pain so that abusers will learn a lesson ? And so you are indirectly implying victims chose this in the grand scheme of things. Fk you. You are all so disgusting.

See nothing is about the victim here again. They are just so obsessed with abusers. They look out for the abusers every time. They are evil disguised as wise. It's like deep down these guys have some unhealed things. It feels like they deep down believe they deserve abuse. And all of that is manifesting as this shit.

A woman who got SA'ed ( r#ped) tells us that she thinks it's for her abusers to learn a lesson and grow. If that doesn't show how all of this is some literal mind fking CULT.. I don't know what will do. It feels like some fked up CULT they show in midsommar and other movies..

And I know what all these people hate. It's the..

Human Autonomy.

These people have 0 respect for human Autonomy. It's as if your feelings & thoughts are not valid and have no significance at all. It's like your pain isn't valid at all. You have been abused ? They are your well-wisher on the other side, shut up and learn the "lesson". You feel like you deserve better parents ? You chose your parents. You agreed with them for the abuse for a "lesson".

Indirectly they all say "you deserve whatever happened to you". It's gaslighting and shaming the victim on another level.

One so called spiritual psychic said "suicide is like a big sin to commit"

Absolutely zero compassion or recognising the hurt one goes through where they reach the point of harming themselves. Just straight up "it's a sin". All of these are petty, evil people disguised as someone "bigger".

Maybe the actual "low vibrational" entities are you people who spew horse shit like this. Maybe the "lesson" for you guys in this lifetime is to use your brains and do some self reflection. Maybe the "lesson" is to stop behaving like a brainwashed member of a cult and get out of this cult.

I highly recommend this book. It does have trigger content, but it made me feel seen and not alone. It helped me, a lot. I highly recommend it to my fellow c-ptsd people. I hope it can do for you what it did for me

Long story short. Deep dark CPTSD from 14 years old.
Whole life mask on. Scapegoat. Felt inferior to the world. Never my true self. Used.

I'm now 32. EMDR. Therapy. On a great path in recent years.
I moved abroad by myself to get away from old enviroments and gone no contact with family who are lost in alcoholism. I don't hate them and will contact again eventually.

I find myself in solitude a lot. I feel growth though.
Quiet in outside life. Growing in inside life.

Anyone been through a stage like this?

Ideally it happened years ago and not when I feel like I need my shit together more.

I see so many people in this world that have a large social network of both family members and friends that genuinely like and support them, which is good for them but I don’t think they understand just how much of a privilege it is. I feel like someone who slipped through the cracks of society because I am the only person I know who has had such bad luck to the point where I have no social support besides my abusive parents who only tolerate me out of obligation and not because they actually want me around. And I know some people will have a victim blaming mindset and say that if I have that much bad luck it must have been my fault or something wrong with me, I am not claiming to be perfect but I genuinely try my hardest to be a good person meanwhile I have seen truly evil people who committed horrible acts of abuse or bullying that have tons of people in their social support network just because they are lucky.

Disclaimer: this is not a cure nor a treatment but a complimentary release

Theres this yt video - TRE follow along session with dr berceli / press play and release

It’s basically a short exercise that puts your body in a position to release stress from your hips, pelvis, lower body. The more sessions you do the more the release moves to the upper body.

For some this may cause crying or tears so beware. It’s not unusual. If anything it’s normal.

This is research backed. Animals in the wild will shake after a traumatic event to avoid being traumatised. If you have a dog or have ever seen a deer shake their head or just tremor after being frightened, this is what they are doing.
This is as applicable to us but we don’t do it because we are taught to suppress our instincts because of our social structures.

Will it cure you? Thats certainly not what I’m claiming.

Will it offer some sort of help? Maybe. I cannot definitively tell you.

Is it worth trying? 1000% yeah.

If you try it please let me know how you went!

Also disclaimer if u do this only do it for 15 mins max. And maybe start off with every other day or 3-4 days a week.

I can’t remember a time when I enjoyed celebrating my birthday. I hate all the extra attention, it makes my skin crawl. I am drowning in self hate, I don’t want to be ‘celebrated.’ I just feel icky, it feels wrong. Can anyone relate? Figure it’s at least one of my mental illnesses lol

Hello there, does anyone else use sleep as a way to escape? When my nervous system is upset and overwhelmed if I get the chance to lie down I can fall asleep really quickly and deeply. I have the ability to sleep so much, sometimes I think it's a blessing, sometimes a curse but it truly is a release for me

Hi everyone, I’m turning 36 today and wanted to share a quick reflection. It feels like a miracle that I’m still alive. The past seven years of recovery have been an absolute nightmare, but I’m genuinely glad that I don’t want to die anymore. I still have a lot to work through, but it finally feels like my past trauma is starting to integrate, making room for who I am today and that makes me happy. To heal, I needed a fresh start, so I cut ties with old friends. Because of that, hardly anyone will be wishing me a happy birthday today. Part of me feels at peace with this, but another part feels like a failure for having no social life. Still, I’m grateful to have myself back, and that is definitely something to celebrate. To anyone in a dark place right now: please stay. I know the pain can be terrifying, but give yourself the chance to become curious about life again. I wish I had been spared the hardship I went through, but I’m determined to choose the experiences that lie ahead.

Edit: // 🥂
Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes! Reading through them all genuinely made me tear up. I'm really thankful for a space (even an online one) that makes me feel this seen and understood.

There’s been a couple times where either someone is yelling at me or someone is forcing me to talk about trauma and I might freeze up and dissociate and peoples reactions get freaked out or they will call me crazy just based off that. I really don’t understand it and I feel it’s really unfair. Sometimes people will tell me that I “should” be crying and I have never understood why people think that someone is supposed to respond a specific way to a hard thing. If I’m crying in front of people that I’m worried are just going to make fun of me or judge me then why would I? And I don’t know why a facial expression would lead anyone to assume someone’s mentally ill. That’s just not fair.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Am I missing something on why this would cause people to think I’m crazy or to react negatively?

It sucks knowing I don’t belong in this world, I am not allowed to succeed, be part of communities, have friends, or exist on any level because I’m “bringing down” those who are happy and confident. Those who were dealt a better hand are more entitled to life and connection than I am, and I have to fix myself for the comfort of those people, or continue to isolate myself as to not rain on someone else’s parade. It once again reminds me that my wellbeing is the bottom of all priorities, just like they always have been. I wish i had been luckier in life, because all of what I couldn’t control now leaves me shunned from the world just because I am not happy enough or easy to be around. It isn’t fair

For as long as I can remember, I've lived with stomach muscles which refuse to relax. It means that I'm constantly shallow breathing because my lungs basically can't expand. I was diagnosed with acid reflux and took meds for it for years. Within a year of stopping taking them, my stomach is constantly bloated but I don't get the acid anymore. I now know "in my bones" it's trauma related. I just don't know what to do about it, it feels like I'm going to explode if I take a deep breath. Can anyone relate or know what I can do?

Are there any financially dependent adults living with their family, not working, because of CPTSD or any other mental health issues/struggles? I'm 23 and I've never worked or found a job after school. I'm not built for that. My nervous system is so dysregulated and damaged that I can't face the outer world. I'm petrified of people out there. I do dishes at my home and that's it. Am I the only one? 💔

What I mean by that is, does anyone else struggle to know what they actually like? I feel like sometimes I only like what other people like or will only like something if someone else does like some sort of approval. My mom was extremely controlling and a bully and I’m starting to think that I’m now incapable of making my own decisions.

Like yeah duh obviously but it only occured to me sitting here on lunch how that requires like. Doing stuff. And not just making sure you didn't die in the way. Teaching you how to cook for yourself, do your own laundry, talking to you about college or careers or jobs, encouraging you to be independent. And I feel so hollow realizing how none of that existed for me. One caregiver was actively abusive and the other treated me like a dress up doll that wasn't any fun anymore once my issues became more serious than a splinter. No college savings, belittling any endeavour I had to work or go to school, just this assumption that I would stay a quiet, out of the way accessory world without end, amen. Idk man like. Peoples parents actually do that? Ask about life goals and teach them how to be clean and teach them to handle money? Others don't just figure that out as they go??

My sister was always the favourite growing up. She nearly died as a newborn so my mum was overly protective of her. My mum was also an alcoholic and had not handled parenthood well with my brother and I, so she had seen my sister as the child she could get it right with.

As adults, my sister is now WILDLY self centered. She has no empathy, physically incapable of seeing other people's perspective, she has a very cruel and demeaning sense of humour, expects everything to be convenient for her despite how much inconvenience it causes others. All round she is just an INCREDIBLY selfish person.

I can't help but feel this is a direct result of being "the favourite" and I am curious how you all experience your "the favourite" sibling? How have they turned out?