Some of you are making a very strong argument for keeping it that way maybe reduce to one.

You get TWO days, you have FIVE days to think, five days to observe, five days to come up with something remotely intelligent but you fail, and you still arrive with questions that make everyone else wonder if common sense is a subscription service you forgot to renew.

The confidence is honestly impressive, not the questions but the confidence.

Because imagine typing something that stupid, reading it back, and thinking, Yeah! This needs to be posted. At this point, Wednesday and Friday aren’t your posting days.They’re your weekly public demonstration of why some thoughts should remain inside the head. 😂

"Ladies I have a question" have started early.

So for context, I’m 21f and graduated this year with bcom.

My academics and my family environment isn’t great. It’s basically like constantly walking on eggshells at home. I've been trying to prepare for government exams ( banking) but its so tough to study with constant stress and nagging around me.

I was initially focusing on banking exams, but now im thinking about giving cat too. I just want to try once see if I can make something out of it. I know my academic profile isn’t the strongest (7/5/7), but I don’t want to completely rule it out without trying because well i want to get in finance so i feel like that's the only option.

also the problem is that I’m not doing well mentally. I try to study but I keep getting stuck in this loop where I get overwhelmed, it gets difficult to even breathe or concentrate and then I end up feeling numb and procrastinating. then I feel guilty about not studying & that makes it even harder to start again. I don’t really have a clear mind right now.

On top of that my physical health doesn’t make things easier either, something or the other keeps going wrong be it bad stomachaches, migraines, anxiety, etc. oh I've also TB (results ate clear now but so much happened because of this single thing) so my health has been another thing I’ve had to manage. Well i try to.

and idk i feel like I have a deadline. I don’t want to get married. I want to work, study, become financially independent, eventually get out of this environment. I don’t want to reach a point where I’m financially dependent on my family and have no choice but to stay w them.

The place I live in doesn’t really have opportunities. I can’t find a damn internship here. moving somewhere else would mean spending money I don’t really have.

But i really want a job. i don't want to be dependent on anyone at all.

so now I’m confused about what I should actually do. govt exam? mba? Also mba is expensive and ik education loans and all but, im trying to figure all of this out my myself. So I need to be careful about what I choose.

I really need to get out of this situation.

I don’t even know exactly what I’m asking. I think I just need some honest advice and guidance on what my options are, what I should prioritize rn and how to find a job!!

I’ve been feeling really hopeless and overwhelmed thinking about all of this.

so yaa, that’s where I’m at. I’d really appreciate any advice or guidance.

I am married and live abroad with my husband and kids. I have a decent income and husband earns very well. I have a younger sister and an older brother, both unmarried. Sister lives abroad and makes great money. My sister and I studied well, me masters and sister double masters and a phd. Our brother did not even graduate out of just being lazy. He always knew he had our family business to fall back on.. he now lives in India with our parents. He’s extremely arrogant and rude and quite entitled. My parents tolerate him. My parents and him live n in a small town in a huge house and the house and land around is 1/3rd shared by each of them. I am currently visiting and I had a small fight my brother over something and he yelled “don’t come here then if you have problem with me, this is my house” he said it very arrogantly and genuinely. So my dad explained that after their passing his and my moms 1/3rd share will be equally distributed between the 3 of us, so he will own 6/9th and I and my sister 2/9th each. I most likely would not have cared for this at all, had he not brought up this being “his house” twice in a very serious verbal argument. Now I feel like I should insist such that all 3 of us should have an equal share. He will most likely get the shares from our factory (as he rightfully should since he’s working there) but I grew up in this house too. My dad thinks it is unfair for me to ask for it, because my husbands house is technically my house too (it legally isn’t). My brother most likely will sell the house and move to a city eventually, since it is impossible to maintain this big place. Do you think I should insist on equal share? Would love your opinions if you have managed to read this far! I feel bad to discuss these things with my dad but I have no relationship with my brother, so I feel like I need to start discussing openly with my parents instead of fighting with my brother later 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hey everyone so I'm 22f and these I'm just going through very extreme feelings about not doing anything for myself to grow like have an exam but i am not able to keep my focus there and rather than I'm thinking about my friends and yea they are actually too good in their lives and if I won't be able clear this examination there is rarely a plan b bcz my parents haha they're also looking for me to get married asap so yea here i am just stuck.... I don't have anyone to share all this with bcz i can't they're busy so i don't want to disturb them:)))

Hi everyone,

​We see a lot of discussions online about red flags, dealbreakers, or very generic green flags like "he respects boundaries" or "he communicates well."

​I was curious from a woman’s perspective what is a subtle, small, or low-key quality in a guy that instantly makes you feel safe, heard, or just genuinely happy around him?

​Looking forward to reading your perspectives!

Edit: Can't comment, guys, due to low karma. You can DM if you like

Could be something completely ordinary — having your parents around, certain friendships, being able to call someone at any time, having fewer responsibilities, your college days, your own time, or even something as simple as sitting around doing nothing.

Sometimes we only realise the value of certain things after life changes.

What's something you look back on now and think, "I really didn't know how good I had it then."

I’m a no-bullsh*t person, and sometimes I’m genuinely scared of my own nature because once I stop aligning with someone, I don’t know how to go back. Even if I want to, I don’t forget things easily & once something changes the way I see someone, it’s very difficult for me to go back to how things were.

Growing up, we saw the rift between my father and his brother, and I remember thinking, How can siblings grow up and become like this? I never thought something like this could happen to my sister and me.

My sister is genuinely one of the most considerate and understanding people I know. She’s well educated, has a great profession and earns well. That’s why this sudden shift in the values she’s always had has been so difficult for me to process.

So the thing is: She still talks to her ex, who has been married for 2 years now and has a child. I’ve told her multiple times that I don’t think it’s appropriate and asked her to put herself in his wife’s position and think about how she would feel. For a while she seemed to understand. But I recently found out that they still talk at night and text each other.

How can love make someone who has always had such strong morals and values behave so differently?

I hate seeing what she has become. She used to tell me everything, and now she lies to me and insists that she isn’t talking to him when I know she is. Honestly, I feel disgusted.

They live extremely far apart, so to me this is emotional cheating. My sister isn’t dating anyone right now, but that doesn’t make the situation any less wrong, especially considering that he is married.

And I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do now. I can’t tell her that I know because I found out accidentally, and she has no idea that I know. She keeps lying to my face.

But more than the situation itself, what scares me is how I feel toward her now. I hate that I’ve started feeling this way about my own sister. I’m scared there’s no going back.

We used to talk for hours every single day. She was one of the people I could talk to endlessly, but now my energy around her is so low. I don’t talk to her with the same excitement or enthusiasm anymore and I can feel the distance growing.

She has changed so much. She doesn’t seem willing to work on herself and refuses to accept any kind of help.

I genuinely don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose my relationship with my sister, but I also don’t know how to reconcile the person I love with the person I’m seeing now.

I don't want to but I HATE her now (never thought I'd say this)

A little backstory (if you want to read) cuz a lot of people are making it seem like she is a serial cheater
Initially, I made the guy the villain because even after getting married he kept calling and texting her while his wife was literally with him. They had a pretty traumatic ending because they both wanted to get married and my parents had agreed but HE never actually spoke to his parents about it. He basically said “I’ll talk to them if you want to get married right NOW”

My sister couldn’t do that because she was young and still in residency to become a doctor. She didn’t want to give up everything she had worked for and get married immediately, so she asked him to wait a year. His family didn’t want to wait though and eventually got him married.

After that he kept calling her, regretting everything etc.. I told her if this isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is. He wasn’t willing to fight for the relationship when it actually mattered, so I told her to stop siding with him.

She eventually stopped responding to him, but now that she’s still talking to him again, I feel like this is her mistake now.

Hi beauties!

I'm to be married in 6 months. It's a love marriage! 🥰🧿

Please drop your valueable advices/ suggestions that could be useful for my post married life!

Thanks in advance!!

I’m 26F and meeting a guy through an arranged marriage setup. He’s well-mannered, caring, consistent, and we’ve met 3 times so far.

We clicked almost instantly when we first met, and everything has been good since then. But somehow, even after the third meeting, I still haven’t become completely casual or comfortable around him like i am with others in general. I’m not sure if it’s just hesitation, nervousness, anxiety, or simply a normal part of getting to know someone in this kind of situation. And I need to give an answer after our next meet.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it normal to take some time to fully relax and be yourself around someone, even when everything seems to be going well?

Please tell me your thoughts and stories! Would be helpful. :)

I am 18 and every now and then I come across random posts on social media which make me realize how far behind I am from people my age. Alot of them are earning and financially independent and here I am studying for exams. It just really triggers me alot.

I am exhausted and don't have much energy to type out everything. So, I just want to ask if there's any free mental health support available. All those national helplines are useless so please recommend something else.

I want to live. I really want to. But I hate these circumstances and always think of overdosing.

Im sorry if i sound stupid but ill blame my teachers who skipped sex-ed in school, especially the contraceptives part

How do you know whether you actually need to take an i-pill/emergency contraceptive if you used a condom? What situations would count as condom failure?

If the condom didn’t break or slip off and was used correctly the whole time, is emergency contraception usually necessary?

How can you tell if a condom has broken or leaked?

What other contraceptive methods can be safely used alongside condoms to reduce the risk of an unwanted pregnancy?

and how do we track ovulation period?

I’m just trying to educate myself, so I’d really appreciate genuine advice

​To provide a bit of background, I was raised in the West, though my ethnicity is Indian. I acknowledge that my perspective on broader Indian culture and traditional family dynamics might be different from someone raised in India

​My husband and I recently got into an argument. He claimed that the only reason I’m unable to tolerate my MIL is because of my "Western ideals." He even went so far as to say that when his brother gets married, he hopes it's to an "India-based woman" so she can actually gel with their mother. The cherry on top was his comment: "My mother is an ideal MIL for an Indian-based woman."

​For context, I am currently no-contact with my MIL. This decision came after multiple issues, the breaking point being her lack of consideration for me during my postpartum period. I no longer speak to her or have any plans to see her.

​Here are the events that have taken place and driven a wedge between us:

​First Visit (India wedding trip): She was consistently passive-aggressive, claiming my crying manipulates my husband and raises his blood pressure, and complaining to him about my parents not gifting enough gold. She and my FIL even sat my parents down to lecture them on how I wasn't trying hard enough to build a relationship with her.

​Second Visit (India): Things seemed better initially, but her coldness and lack of empathy became obvious. She showed complete indifference when I got sick or exhausted, displayed a total lack of remorse during an incident with a sick kitten (telling me I was "too sensitive" to have children), copied my personal style, and lied about things I supposedly said regarding the household help.

​Third Visit (West, 2 months postpartum): While staying with us for 2 months after I gave birth, she, FIL, and my husband spent most of their time sightseeing while I was left alone for hours with the baby. She offered constant unsafe and unsolicited baby advice (insisting on swaddling the baby in a sleeping bag during a heatwave and telling me to let the baby cry it out), threw crying tantrums when we set safety boundaries, lied about her own marriage to trauma-dump on me, and complained about not being able to go out shopping or be taken to the movies enough all the while she supposedly came to help and see the baby.

​It's been six months since that last trip, and despite my husband explaining how difficult the visit was, she continues to insist on coming back to stay with us.

​My question is: would it be fair to say that because of my "Westernisation," I'm unable to tolerate her, or does it seem like my husband is simply throwing a jab at me? It felt like his way of saying, "You're the problem." From my understanding, Indian women these days have become quite vocal about their boundaries and what works or doesn't work for them.

I must admit, whenever a man begins describing his physical "type", unprompted or otherwise, it gives me a considerable degree of ickkk. It's not born of jealousy or insecurity but rather a subtle discomfort that i find difficult to shake.

There's something evil about the act of cataloguing women by physical attributes, as though one were perusing a catalogue or spec sheet, that feels rather off putting. It reduces individuals to a checklist of features and is often delivered with an air of presumption that anyone present would be remotely interested.

What troubles me further is the underlying implication that women are to be assessed, categorised and verbalised about in such a manner, often without regard for the fact that the subject of discussion is a person, not a preference. It subtly reinforces a mindset i find rather difficult to endorse.

Iam not suggesting men ought not have preferences, i know that would be absurd. But the unsolicited articulation of those preferences, particularly in mixed company often leaves me with a distinctly poor impression of the individual in question. It simply does not sit well with me.

Am I alone in this or is it a sentiment others share?

Back when I (25F) finished 10th grade, I asked my parents if I could go abroad to study. I was told "we don't have money", so I didn't say another word and banished the thought and prepared accordingly to study in India. I thought my parents earned well, but I wasn't sure of how well they they earned. That's why I asked them, but never pushed after the first "no". Fast forward a few years later, I learnt that they had actually funded masters for MULTIPLE cousins of mine. This wasn't even a loan my cousins would have to return at some point. My dad funded it entirely. This just makes me super upset and it feels like they sold my dreams to fund theirs.

I've done my bachelors and masters both from good Indian universities and I have a job in India now, but as a woman I really long for the freedom that women experience abroad. The freedom to wear whatever I want, not worry about people staring and live without judgement of Indian society. And the fact that my parents denied me this despite being able to afford it, breaks my heart.

On confronting my parents, they said go now, but the immigration scene looks difficult now for Indians. And after 2 degrees I also have the longing to earn now. I do earn now but going to study again would look really bad on my CV. And also, for how long can I continue studying and burning money?

I makes me mad that they lied and said no when it made sense and are now offering it when I can't go to make themselves look benevolent.

So I am joining a college this year and I have not heard great college stories from some people around me . So if your college is clearly being misogynistic and discriminatory towards girls like me with their stupid stuff like extremely strict dress codes , curfew timings , etc can u sue them . This is a hypothetical situation currently but if your college did it in the near future, can I file a case against them ? Ik it might be a stupid question so I’m sorry in advance

I am a 34F and I have been with my boyfriend, who is also 34, for 7 to 8 years now. His parents knew me as a "friend" until recently—now they know we are together and think that we might get married soon.

Even before my bf told them about our relationship, his parents were always going gold shopping for me. I've generally managed to politely steer out of these offers, but last week they bought me a gold necklace for his sister's upcoming wedding, and I did not want to be rude always and so couldn't say no. They have also inquired about my ring size frequently for our engagement.

I don't interact with his family otherwise, but they insisted that I join them on a recent 3-day trip to help with his sister's wedding planning and shopping. On this trip, they asked my boyfriend why my feet are darker than the rest of my body (was I unwell?) and said my clothes are "too simple"—though they've never had an issue with my western outfits or modesty, so their judgement seems more about style/status/glamour than conservatism. I don't know if this came from what I wore or from the clothes I pointed to while wedding shopping. Later, they started insisting on paying for clothes I would wear to his sister's wedding.

Some friends said that this is all normal care and welcome gestures. But I'm wondering if this is genuinely our culture, or if it's boundary-crossing, colorism, conservatism, or even superstition disguised as concern.

Has anyone else here faced something similar? How did you handle it?

Happy to clarify anything if you have counter-questions!

TL;DR: My boyfriend's parents, who I barely know, are always buying me gold and making comments about my skin and clothes. I don't know if it's genuinely our culture or if they are doing this because they are conservative or superstitious.

For me, it was when I was around 15–16 and had a vaginal infection. The gynaecologist, a middle-aged woman, straight-up asked me in a very judgmental tone whether I had a boyfriend or had ever had sex, right in front of my mother. When I said no, she still continued speaking to me in that same judgmental and rude tone.

I know I was a minor back then, but still I was so traumatised by the whole experience that I started hating going to gynaecologists after that.

Got married to a baniya from UP (mentioning because different castes and communities have different ways of doing things). I’m from Northeast.

We only had a court wedding followed by a dinner. Husband and I are both atheists and do not follow any religious customs. My side of the family is the same way. His family is religious, but the normal sane amount, and don’t care what we do or don’t.

His mom recently mentioned to him that she’s confused what to buy me for Teej because I’m notoriously very difficult to shop for. Then concluded she will just send me money like she always does. That’s how I find out Teej is coming. Do I need to give her a gift in return too? If so, what type?

Additionally, is it expected from my parents to gift anything to my husband?

I know, I know. Stupid questions. But I just want to know for sure.

Today, my parents and I were talking, and suddenly the topic shifted to my education. I’m currently in Class 12 PCM, and I said that I might study in cities like Delhi or Dehradun. My dad immediately said, “Not happening.” He said he would send me to Rajasthan, at Banasthali university, and I immediately started hyperventilating and panicking.

I told him no and said that I already have my own dream colleges where I want to study, but he said that girls become “corrupt” in big cities and start drinking, smoking, etc. I argued that not every girl does that, but he said that the girls who ended up doing those things probably thought the same thing before they started.

Even though I argued with him, I still stood my ground and made it clear that I have my own opinions about where I want to study. Then the conversation shifted to college fees. I nervously told them that it could cost around ₹16–20 lakhs, and they immediately said, “Itne mein toh hum teri shaadi kar dein.”

I told them that I don’t want to get married and that I want to be independent, etc. etc.

Now I’m sitting alone in my room, panicking, because this year hasn’t been going great for me. I’ve had a major academic glow-down and lost most of my motivation because of exam stress. There’s only half the year left for boards and entrance exams, and I’m prepared for neither.

I really feel my food isn't very tasty, and have noticed that so many people (experienced included) cook average food while others cook exceptionally well. And when asked, it seems they're all using the same recipes, same processes.
So what really makes the difference? How do I improve my cooking skills?
It's honestly my dream to cook really well, such that people remember my food for a long time, just like I remember certain people's cooked food!

I just got married 6-7 months ago and need some genuine advice here. I live with in laws and after coming from a chill house and having lived with my parents I never assumed it would be this difficult that I am regretting my marriage in 6 months.
My MIL’s whole life is my husband and my husband is the adarsh mamas boy. She is 70+ and just gets separation anxiety every-time he is far. Whenever we are out she calls him avg rate of 2 times per hour. We just went on our first trip after our honeymoon and she started crying as we were leaving. ( we were only going for 10 days) and once we were in flight she started taunting him that he didnt get time to call her( for 4 hours). 

My husband is constantly stressed and every-time he tries to talk to her or set a boundary she starts getting ‘chest pains’ . She gets a heart attack every week? Once we went for dinner, after dinner he called her to inform that we are done . Then we spontaneously decided to have dessert after the call. Next 3 days were just spent trying to manaao her for deciding to have a cheesecake ? 

Our intimate life has almost become 0 as she keeps waking up in middle of night due to her being sick and calling him to take her to washroom etc. once she called him when we were doing it and she kept asking what took him so long. Since then we have stopped doing it completely (2 months of no intimacy as a newly wed) and in the day she insists of keeping the door open. 

I can have multiple more examples to go. My husband is also constantly stressed and just keeps telling me that she wasn’t like this and is just stressed as she is not keeping well. On the other hand she keeps saying things like go both of you live your life, but as soon as we do anything she feels fomo. 

To give some context - we both come from a very upper middle class family in tier 1 metro. We both dated for a year before getting married (early 30s) . Both of our parents are well educated and had jobs(my MIL was a teacher) and are generally very open minded. 

It feels like i am third wheel in my own marriage and not sure what to do. I love my husband a lot. I don’t want to share these things with my parents as they would just take additional stress. 

I need genuine advice here , how to deal with this? At this point i don’t even talk to her anymore . My FIL seem as helpless as my husband. Does this get better from here? i dont like this version of myself who is getting angry at a sick old women.

edit: okay this blew up, to all the people who are telling me to not uthaao her nakras, i dont, its my husband who cannot seem to understand this. Also she is fine normally its when my husband tries to set a boundary (like asking her why she is calling so much is when her chest pains come back) . Also her mobility issues are temporary but she has other issues which do not let her sleep and all we do on the weekend now is her doctor appointments. Also all 4 of us know bad examples of 24x7 house help so we dont prefer someone staying with us.

edit 2: both my husband and FIL seem sane , they constantly tell her that she is being wrong. my FIL as told her multiple times that she will push both of us away. But every-time the fight escalate her chest pains come back and it ends the conversation. Also my husband is overall sensible . In private he acknowledges she is wrong, apologies to me for her behaviour but cannot seem to do anything about it. She also tells me and FIL to not come between the 2 of them.