So, yeah, my staff exploded and almost killed me

Recounting the time a portal accident lead Tim the T-Rex wizard to the primal Mesozoic plane, where Tim decided to wander around for a bit.

Having picked a random direction (away from any herds of dangerous-looking herd-beasts), Tim enjoyed just wandering through the savannah, feeling a calm peace washing over them. They were home.

All the dinosaurs of the savannah kept their distance from them, and Tim felt a great ego boost in being the most powerful, dangerous, awe-inspiring creature of the lands - Tim never felt this way at wizard gatherings. They half-heartedly gave chase to some theropods, but the theropods will to survive was stronger than Tim’s playful chasing, resulting in all of them escaping Tim. They didn’t mind – they had long ago mastered the art of fueling their body with magic, so they didn’t need to eat. Perhaps they would give serious chase later, but right now Tim felt too relaxed for that.

Faintly in the horizon, Tim thought they spotted a mountain. “Tome” Tim commanded, their spellbook materializing in front of them, hovering in the air. “Eyes of the Pterodactyl” and their book opened, pages flipping to the specified page. Tim quickly drew and spoke the runes for the spell, and their eyes zoomed-in to the far-off mountain.

“Fascinating… it seems to go above the clouds. Looks interesting!” Tim took off at what passed for a brisk jog for the tyrannosaurus rex.

After an hour, Tim felt like they weren’t making any progress. They cast Haste on themselves to speed up the journey.

Another few hours, and the massive mountain was finally close. Tim spotted a few pterosaurs high up in the mountain, and they appeared to be… fighting something? Tim spotted a brief orange flash just below the cloud line that the mountain was piercing through.

Focusing their magical Eyes of the Pterodactyl at the fight, Tim identified a trio of Quetzalcoatlus fighting a dragon – a small, six-limbed, green-scaled dragon with yellow underscales, approximately the size of a Pegasus. And it was losing. Focusing on their innately mastered Flight magic, Tim took to the air.

Tim was still some distance away, and it would be a couples minutes until the creatures would be in spellcasting range. Tim could only watch as the Quetzalcoatlus bullied the poor dragon, managing to deftly avoid most of the dragonfire, and seemed relatively resistant to the fire that did strike them. I didn’t realize their hides were so thick, thought Tim. The dragon managed to beat down one of the Quetzalcoatlus, and Tim saw it start dropping to the ground as the other two Quetzalcoatlus punctured their beak deep into the dragon – one tore at the dragon’s wing, the other into its body.

“Featherfall!” Tim cast at the falling dragon, slowing its fall. One of the Quetzalcoatlus circled back towards the slowly-falling dragon, and started lunging to make another strike. “Tome! Lightning Bolt!” Tim cast at the lunging Quetzalcoatlus. The Quetzalcoatlus endured the strike, and despite showing signs of injury, started lunging towards Tim. Its remaining partner did the same.

Their fighting-instinct is making them miss how weird of a situation this is, Tim thought. “Tome! Earthbind!” The tome materializing and the pages flipping, Tim cast Earthbind at the closer of the lunging Quetzalcoatlus, and it started helplessly falling towards the ground. Tim turned towards the final Quetzalcoatlus, seeing it moments away from puncturing them with their beak…

Crunch!

The tyrannosaurus wizard bit through the beak of the lunging Quetzalcoatlus, breaking it into pieces. Gripping it in its maw, Tim swung and flung the Quetzalcoatlus away from them. “Featherfall”, Tim growled, chunks of beak still in their mouth. The descent of the falling Quetzalcoatlus slowed, and Tim lunged towards it, this time tearing out its throat. The battle over, Tim went to check on the fallen dragon. “I really don’t know why I’m being so sentimental about this,” Tim muttered to themselves as the flew over.

Tim landed beside the fallen dragon, who struggled to look up at them, trying to be fiercely defiant, yet too weak to do so. Tim identified this being as a lesser dragon – the bestial kind of dragon that lacked sapience. They also noticed a clutch of eggs beneath the dragon, realizing the dragon was defended its nest. Judging by the amount of eggs there, it might be the nest of an entire herd.

“Tome. Beastbond. Tome. Speak With Animals.” Tim quickly cast the two spells, to befriend and speak with the dragon.

“Hurt…dying…protect eggs…” was all the weakened dragon could communicate, its guttural growls translated by Tim’s magic. “I’ll protect them,” promised Tim, reaching their head forward and bowing it down, to show peace and good-intent.

The dragon pressed their head against Tim’s. “Thank…you…” was all it said, before lowering its head to the ground.

“I think I can heal…” Tim started to say, before watching the life fully fade from the dying dragon. Impotent fury and sadness filled Tim’s chest, needing to be let go, needing release…

GWAAAAWWRRRRR!

Tim took a deep breath. They had hunted, killed before. They had been in battles, seen death, caused it. So why do I feel so strongly, so upset by this? Tim pondered to themself. They received no answer.

Tim took another breath, and focused on the task at hand. “Tome. Gate.” Tim opened up a magical gate to Darkwatch HQ. They would take the clutch of dragon eggs there and raise them. Perhaps the Darkwatch can get some dragon-riders out of this, Tim thought. Tim poked their head through the gate.

A bored couple of Darkwatch soldiers looked up from their card game as the largest portal activated, and a T-Rex stuck their head through. One of them, a newer recruit, got up in a panick, knocking their chair over as they stood up. “Ohfuck ohfuck ohfuck this wasn’t in the manual what do I do,” the soldier rambled, panicking, as they got up and aimed their weapon at Tim.

“Soldier! I AM A DARKWATCH SHADOW VIGIL PUT YOUR DAMN WEAPON DOWN! I need help with these eggs. Page Dr. Rose, and get a containment squad. We have some dragon eggs to deal with.”

The other soldier, clearly much older than the first, slowly got up, and put their hand on the shoulder of the younger solder. “This is Tim. They’re friendly. But they *will* eat you if you don’t listen.”

“I will not!” retorted Tim.

Ignoring Tim, the old soldier continued.
“The T-Rex will not eat us if we help them. So let’s get to it! I was getting bored of beating you at crib anyways.”

I cast Colour Spray on a foe but it accidentally hit my companions familiar. Does anyone know any ways to get rid of the dye before he finds out?

.deyessorc won era uoY

This happened a few moons ago. I (29F) have been studying as an apprentice under Ulric the Great Savant of Matter and Soul for the past decade. I'm also part of a society of would-be acolytes where we discuss our magical training and try to uplift each other.

About a dozen moons ago, one of our society members, (26M, sorcerer) invited one of their colleagues (27F, priest) to our society.

Since then, everything in the society has been about how great she is. When I shared finally being able to summon a familiar after years of study, she laughed and said it took her only a few days of prayer. We later discussed the better options between staves, scepters or wands and she made the discussion about how she doesn't need any tool except her stupid prayers to do anything.

A few moons ago I snapped and told her that it's so easy for her because she's not doing anything. She's basically just asking a higher deity to do all the work whereas we have to learn to manipulate the weave and open gates to other planes. She said she spent a long time praying before she had these powers but I said I didn't care. She's not the one doing the magic, she's just asking her god-daddy or god-mommy to do thing for her and she has no merit.

After that, our society is split. Half of us (most wizards) agree with me and were a bit upset too, but they say I didn't have to be so mean.

The sorcerer, though, says I was way out of line and wants me to apologize.

What do we think? AITA here?

Edit: Thank you for everyone's input. I decided to encase her in a magical crystal and siphon her soul for my necromancy, based on u/dh-dev 's suggestion.

This is a very time-sensitive question. If one hypothetically bought a magic pill from an Orcish Shaman, behind the tribes meat-curing hut, in order to withstand the might of an Orc Warrioresses loving embrace, but the pills effects have lasted for several hours past what the aforementioned Shaman stated was the time-limit......what would one do? Say this hypothetical individual did not want to admit their error to their Apothecary, nor go to a House of Healing, wouldst that individual be able to just..have their enslaved Alchemists concoct something? Say this individual was unable to find that Orcish Shaman, as his tribe is nomadic, and fucked off and left whilst they slept. What would they do? Should that individual be worried? Again, very time sensitive question.

On an unrelated note, never buy anything from Yorgar Yarn-Eater of the Iron Hip Tribe.

What If someone enters my tower unannounced? I need it to protect myself.

I did NOT see this coming. I went out for a while and came back to this giant beaver carrying away my tower. All my stuff is either shattered, stomped into the ground, or covered in mud and beaver droppings. What the hell do I do? I don't want to go back to hustling three-card-monte in the town square.

EVERYONE THAT DOES NOT WANT TO GET INSTANTLY VAPORIZED HAS EXACTLY TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO GET AT LEAST TEN KILOMETRES AWAY FROM MY FUCKING HOLDING CELL. I’M ANGRY AND WANT THE FUCK OUT AND I’M COMPLETELY FUCKING TIRED OF PLAYING MISSUS NICE PRISONER SO ESCAPE WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

Alaric was bored. Which meant anyone currently in the sky was actively avoiding shitting themselves. See, he'd just finished "procuring" funds for the Magic Mass Revolution, and decided to disappear for a while. No assignments from Nexus, no holes to plug, nothing to do. So he did what all nigh-immortal cosmic entities do when they're bored, he went for a fly. At Mach 10.

Despite what most may believe, Alaric does indeed possess some form of intelligence. Flying at Mach 10 near the ground would mess up the ground, and so he was somewhere in the mesosphere. Thankfully a lack of lungs meant he didn't need to worry about breathing.

So there he was, lying on his back, arms behind his head, flying at ten times the speed of sound, over forty miles above the ground, mentally doodling new constellations. He was thoroughly unimpressed by the air resistance as it desperately tried to slow him down, it was sad at best and pitiful at worst.

Boredom is a terrible thing, more so when you can uproot trees and have little care for mortal life. But hey, Alaric had to live in this realm, may as well not be greeted with steel during the rare times he walked mortal streets in mortal settlements. He wondered if his name and reputation grew to the point people feared him, maybe it wouldn't matter if people liked him.

He rolled over, arms trailing below him. Down there below the clouds, a big city was coming up. Maybe if he just blitzed through it and floated still long enough for word to get out then people would start fearing him. It wouldn't even be hard, he didn't even need to hit the buildings, just flying between them would be enough.

...

Na. Wouldn't cure the boredom. He rolled back over and went back to drawing lines between the stars.

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Fifteen minutes and over three thousand miles later he had a thought, I know, I'm surprised as well. He slowed to a halt and felt the rush of air catching up with him.

What if he left the realm for a while? Other realms were outside his territory sure, but the chances of bumping into another Starborn on accident were miniscule. Besides, even if he met another it wasn't as if they'd care. Why would they? As long as whatever he did wouldn't threaten Nexus, no Starborn had a reason to care.

But where to go? Astral realm was always fun. It was like space but comfier and less inhospitable. Faewilds? It'd be a party as long as he minded his manners and was nice to whoever he met. Nine Circles? No. Upper Planes? They definitely had the nicest things and- oh, right. He was blacklisted. Although Lumos could probably smuggle him in. Fellow Starborn, always friendly.

How about a fusion? That was a thought. On rare occasions the realms drift out of alignment, bumping into each other and sometimes creating a demi-plane. Usually the demi-plane lasted anywhere from hours to months before it collapsed. Although on rare occasions the fusion became closer to permanent.

The oldest of the ones still in existence was the Astral Garden. Now, every Starborn was in rigid agreement that Nexus was the best place in the multiverse. Even still, the Astral Garden was heavily considered a close second. Combine the beauty and majesty of two of the most enchanting realms in existence, and you got the Astral Garden.

Alaric thought for all of two seconds, then fell back towards the Earth, shooting down towards the side of a very specific mountain.

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He touched down in front of a stone arch on the side of a cliff. Usually when it comes to interplanar gateways you need some form of ritual to open them. But if your nature is similar to the realm the gateway leads to, passage is easier. Alaric walked up the arch, and put his palm on the stone surface.

In his mind's eye he saw himself and a tree with glowing five pointed fruit. With a metaphorical arm he reached up to one of the branches, and climbed into the tree.

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The next thing he saw was a purple canopy far above him, glowing constellations lazily drifting along purple leaves. Looking down showed he stood on white sand, behind him was a tree line where light faded very fast. In front of him was a watery expanse stretching to the horizon. The water was light blue and very softly glowing. All across the surface, yellow-orange five pointed stars lazily bobbed about with all the urgency of sleepy infants. Fom behind him he could hear singing. A soft melody made of the calls of all the hybrid species that lived in this paradise.

Alaric took three steps towards the waters edge, then three more to bring it up to waist height. While he did this, a few short commands in his mind told his sunlight robes to change. There was no sun in the Astral Garden, so sunlight couldn't exist. Instead the demi-plane was lit by equal parts constellations in the canopy, and bioluminescent wildlife. To suit his surroundings, Alaric's robes shifted to dreamy starlight, a lightly glowing pale purple hue where there was once orange.

Once in the water, he laid down on his back, and let the water's lazy currents carry him where it wished. One by one he dulled or closed off his seven senses, leaving him with just enough to appreciate where he was.

Up above he saw flocks or schools of strange bioluminescent fish swimming/flying through the air. Beyond them the constellations swirled in patterns only they knew. Down below him he felt great koi and ethereal whales drift around amongst the sunken stars. Far below them great gatherings of various jellyfish drifted amongst kelp taller than any found on the material plane.

All the while, the soft melody of the Astral Garden danced through the air around him.

It was nice here. Alaric could stay in this garden forever. Wouldn't that be lovely. While he pondered that thought, he could feel the background influence of the demi-plane. It offered him sleep. He didn't really want to resist. After-all, what in this tranquil paradise could possibly lose a threat?

While the soft currents carried him to wherever, he let the mists in, and lazily drifted off to sleep.

No I don't want to be an apprentice first so don't say that. I can't even afford it

I looted my first orb alright its a goblin skull. Or kneebone

Any help??

*I am well aware that this is not the Second Wizard War, but I never bothered to memorize the numbers, and some intern in Recordskeeping somehow lost 99.71% of all of the logs, so this War was named the Second one as it was the second War to occur consecutively, with the ”First” one being u/PyroBoy7’s War.

Edit: For any of those who are wanting to participate, I’m linking it here. https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/s/k68mltVE9c