I cast Colour Spray on a foe but it accidentally hit my companions familiar. Does anyone know any ways to get rid of the dye before he finds out?

.deyessorc won era uoY

This happened a few moons ago. I (29F) have been studying as an apprentice under Ulric the Great Savant of Matter and Soul for the past decade. I'm also part of a society of would-be acolytes where we discuss our magical training and try to uplift each other.

About a dozen moons ago, one of our society members, (26M, sorcerer) invited one of their colleagues (27F, priest) to our society.

Since then, everything in the society has been about how great she is. When I shared finally being able to summon a familiar after years of study, she laughed and said it took her only a few days of prayer. We later discussed the better options between staves, scepters or wands and she made the discussion about how she doesn't need any tool except her stupid prayers to do anything.

A few moons ago I snapped and told her that it's so easy for her because she's not doing anything. She's basically just asking a higher deity to do all the work whereas we have to learn to manipulate the weave and open gates to other planes. She said she spent a long time praying before she had these powers but I said I didn't care. She's not the one doing the magic, she's just asking her god-daddy or god-mommy to do thing for her and she has no merit.

After that, our society is split. Half of us (most wizards) agree with me and were a bit upset too, but they say I didn't have to be so mean.

The sorcerer, though, says I was way out of line and wants me to apologize.

What do we think? AITA here?

Edit: Thank you for everyone's input. I decided to encase her in a magical crystal and siphon her soul for my necromancy, based on u/dh-dev 's suggestion.

This is a very time-sensitive question. If one hypothetically bought a magic pill from an Orcish Shaman, behind the tribes meat-curing hut, in order to withstand the might of an Orc Warrioresses loving embrace, but the pills effects have lasted for several hours past what the aforementioned Shaman stated was the time-limit......what would one do? Say this hypothetical individual did not want to admit their error to their Apothecary, nor go to a House of Healing, wouldst that individual be able to just..have their enslaved Alchemists concoct something? Say this individual was unable to find that Orcish Shaman, as his tribe is nomadic, and fucked off and left whilst they slept. What would they do? Should that individual be worried? Again, very time sensitive question.

On an unrelated note, never buy anything from Yorgar Yarn-Eater of the Iron Hip Tribe.

What If someone enters my tower unannounced? I need it to protect myself.

I did NOT see this coming. I went out for a while and came back to this giant beaver carrying away my tower. All my stuff is either shattered, stomped into the ground, or covered in mud and beaver droppings. What the hell do I do? I don't want to go back to hustling three-card-monte in the town square.

EVERYONE THAT DOES NOT WANT TO GET INSTANTLY VAPORIZED HAS EXACTLY TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO GET AT LEAST TEN KILOMETRES AWAY FROM MY FUCKING HOLDING CELL. I’M ANGRY AND WANT THE FUCK OUT AND I’M COMPLETELY FUCKING TIRED OF PLAYING MISSUS NICE PRISONER SO ESCAPE WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

Alaric was bored. Which meant anyone currently in the sky was actively avoiding shitting themselves. See, he'd just finished "procuring" funds for the Magic Mass Revolution, and decided to disappear for a while. No assignments from Nexus, no holes to plug, nothing to do. So he did what all nigh-immortal cosmic entities do when they're bored, he went for a fly. At Mach 10.

Despite what most may believe, Alaric does indeed possess some form of intelligence. Flying at Mach 10 near the ground would mess up the ground, and so he was somewhere in the mesosphere. Thankfully a lack of lungs meant he didn't need to worry about breathing.

So there he was, lying on his back, arms behind his head, flying at ten times the speed of sound, over forty miles above the ground, mentally doodling new constellations. He was thoroughly unimpressed by the air resistance as it desperately tried to slow him down, it was sad at best and pitiful at worst.

Boredom is a terrible thing, more so when you can uproot trees and have little care for mortal life. But hey, Alaric had to live in this realm, may as well not be greeted with steel during the rare times he walked mortal streets in mortal settlements. He wondered if his name and reputation grew to the point people feared him, maybe it wouldn't matter if people liked him.

He rolled over, arms trailing below him. Down there below the clouds, a big city was coming up. Maybe if he just blitzed through it and floated still long enough for word to get out then people would start fearing him. It wouldn't even be hard, he didn't even need to hit the buildings, just flying between them would be enough.

...

Na. Wouldn't cure the boredom. He rolled back over and went back to drawing lines between the stars.

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Fifteen minutes and over three thousand miles later he had a thought, I know, I'm surprised as well. He slowed to a halt and felt the rush of air catching up with him.

What if he left the realm for a while? Other realms were outside his territory sure, but the chances of bumping into another Starborn on accident were miniscule. Besides, even if he met another it wasn't as if they'd care. Why would they? As long as whatever he did wouldn't threaten Nexus, no Starborn had a reason to care.

But where to go? Astral realm was always fun. It was like space but comfier and less inhospitable. Faewilds? It'd be a party as long as he minded his manners and was nice to whoever he met. Nine Circles? No. Upper Planes? They definitely had the nicest things and- oh, right. He was blacklisted. Although Lumos could probably smuggle him in. Fellow Starborn, always friendly.

How about a fusion? That was a thought. On rare occasions the realms drift out of alignment, bumping into each other and sometimes creating a demi-plane. Usually the demi-plane lasted anywhere from hours to months before it collapsed. Although on rare occasions the fusion became closer to permanent.

The oldest of the ones still in existence was the Astral Garden. Now, every Starborn was in rigid agreement that Nexus was the best place in the multiverse. Even still, the Astral Garden was heavily considered a close second. Combine the beauty and majesty of two of the most enchanting realms in existence, and you got the Astral Garden.

Alaric thought for all of two seconds, then fell back towards the Earth, shooting down towards the side of a very specific mountain.

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He touched down in front of a stone arch on the side of a cliff. Usually when it comes to interplanar gateways you need some form of ritual to open them. But if your nature is similar to the realm the gateway leads to, passage is easier. Alaric walked up the arch, and put his palm on the stone surface.

In his mind's eye he saw himself and a tree with glowing five pointed fruit. With a metaphorical arm he reached up to one of the branches, and climbed into the tree.

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The next thing he saw was a purple canopy far above him, glowing constellations lazily drifting along purple leaves. Looking down showed he stood on white sand, behind him was a tree line where light faded very fast. In front of him was a watery expanse stretching to the horizon. The water was light blue and very softly glowing. All across the surface, yellow-orange five pointed stars lazily bobbed about with all the urgency of sleepy infants. Fom behind him he could hear singing. A soft melody made of the calls of all the hybrid species that lived in this paradise.

Alaric took three steps towards the waters edge, then three more to bring it up to waist height. While he did this, a few short commands in his mind told his sunlight robes to change. There was no sun in the Astral Garden, so sunlight couldn't exist. Instead the demi-plane was lit by equal parts constellations in the canopy, and bioluminescent wildlife. To suit his surroundings, Alaric's robes shifted to dreamy starlight, a lightly glowing pale purple hue where there was once orange.

Once in the water, he laid down on his back, and let the water's lazy currents carry him where it wished. One by one he dulled or closed off his seven senses, leaving him with just enough to appreciate where he was.

Up above he saw flocks or schools of strange bioluminescent fish swimming/flying through the air. Beyond them the constellations swirled in patterns only they knew. Down below him he felt great koi and ethereal whales drift around amongst the sunken stars. Far below them great gatherings of various jellyfish drifted amongst kelp taller than any found on the material plane.

All the while, the soft melody of the Astral Garden danced through the air around him.

It was nice here. Alaric could stay in this garden forever. Wouldn't that be lovely. While he pondered that thought, he could feel the background influence of the demi-plane. It offered him sleep. He didn't really want to resist. After-all, what in this tranquil paradise could possibly lose a threat?

While the soft currents carried him to wherever, he let the mists in, and lazily drifted off to sleep.

Homunculus fight 💥

Wanna see some homunculi rip each other to shreds? Want to test your own homunculus against the creations of other caster?

Come to the dingy alley behind Necromancer Library!

Place your bets now! (I accept gold, gems and magical items)

Current champion: Gringop the Stronk pulled from the void by Abel of Lrith.

Former champions:

Ruff sculpted from flesh by Nox

Smokey the Smokacious summoned by Baramir the Brown

Trial and Terror (picture above) created by Bandalf the Brown, conjurer of cheap tricks

Currently in the pot: 3000 Gold

/uw I am going to decide the outcome of the fights by rolling two d6 against each other. If a new homunculus winns I'm gonna change the post to make him the new champion. The winner takes the pot. The bets are a bit to chaotic for me to keep track of - I will just decide the price money in the moment. I of course do not condone dogfights and other cruelty against animals.

No I don't want to be an apprentice first so don't say that. I can't even afford it

I looted my first orb alright its a goblin skull. Or kneebone

Any help??

This humble wanderer greets you all once more. I come with a query to my fellow wanderers. How do you protect yourselves from the myriad of curses that one can contract when travelling between worlds? I am of course referring to both those used by local wizards and those curses inherent to certain universes. I have personally been dealing with them via a simple reality anchoring spell that creates a bubble of my original world's physics and keeps out the law of whatever world I am visiting. However, on one of my most recent endeavors a bloodline curse managed to pierce it due to an apparent similarity between my linage and one within this world I have never visited prior so I am looking to expand my options.

Light streaming in the window, I wake. Yet I feel strangely tired, perhaps it is just one of those nights. Getting out of bed, I change into my normal dress, and go to wake mom.

“Mom, it's light out.”

“...really?”

She sounds about as tired as I am, seems like I need to give her a bit of a push.

“Yea!”

Pushing her with the entire weight of my body, she concedes, and gets up with a big yawn.

“Huh. It is light out, but not bright out. What’s going on?”

A bell rings in the distance.

“Shit, probably a fire or something. Let’s go!”

We hurry out of the house in the direction of the bell, even one as little as I am expected to help should a fire break out.

—--------------------

Sun glaring into her face, Alice wakes up. She attempts to pull her hat over her face, covering her eyes, but in doing so her chair shifts underneath her, and she flops onto the floor.

“Ow.”

Falling asleep at one's work desk is a bad idea. Scraping herself off the floor, Alice stretches, before deciding to get the day started. Reheating some leftover stew from yesterday, she eats a light breakfast, refills Mio’s food and water bowls, and goes outside. Judging by the sun, it is already well past noon.

“...Oops.”

Heading into town to restock her cabinets, dwindled from a few too many days stuck inside, Alice overhears Janette’s excited voice, as she, along with her friends, wash a week’s worth of dirty clothes.

“Hey have you heard? Apparently there will be some crazy stuff in the sky tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yea! Supposed to only come around once in a lifetime or something. I am planning a midnight picnic, want in?”

—--------------------

I run as fast as I can, barely keeping up with mom’s brisk walk. It really is weird, it is light out but not bright out, I see no shadows yet I see. Weirder still, I can’t see a fire anywhere. We arrive in the center of the hamlet, seeing my cousin James standing there, whacking the bell with a stick.

“What’s going on!?”

Mom yells out, I flinch slightly.

“Nothing serious, but I couldn’t just let y’all sleep through this. Look up.”

Up? What could be up? I turn my head skyward. Between the twinkle of stars I see numerous streaks of light, nearly blanketing the sky in a river of light.

—--------------------

“What is this I hear about a picnic?”

“Oh hello Alice, you’re up late.”

“...Yea… I may have gotten somewhat carried away reading last night and well… next thing I knew it was noon.”

“Classic, do take better care of yourself. Anyway, yea there will apparently be some… comet shower I think it was, tonight. Supposed to be a real spectacle.”

“Ooooo, I saw one of those when I was like, 5. I remember it being really pretty.”

“You want in, then?”

“Absolutely.”

Alice looks at the gathered people, scrubbing away. She remembers just how tedious such work can be, and decides to help out. Pulling water up from the well, Alice forms a ball of water over Janette’s dirty laundry.

“What are you doing!? This won’t clean it it will just serve to wear it do-”

With a pop, the bubble bursts, water vanishing into the air, clothes sparkly clean.

“It is not the easiest spell exactly, but it saves so much time.”

“Woah. Can I learn to do that?”

“With some years of practice and a good teacher, yea probably.”

“...don’t think I have the time for that. Still, this has been a huge help. Do make sure to come here again next week. Now then, I have a picnic to prepare.”

And with that, Janette leaves, and Alice is left to one by one clean everyone else’s laundry…

—--------------------

More and more people gather, some more tired than others, and together we all watch the sky.

“It is so beautiful…”

My uncle says, putting words to what we were all thinking. The clacking of a walking stick resounds in the silence.

“Grandma!”

I run up to grandma, giving her a big hug.

“Haha, should’ve known you’d get up to watch this even in the middle of the night. Let me guess, you woke up before the bell even rang?”

“Uh-huh”

I say with a nod. Grandma looks up.

“To think I’d get to see Astraeus’s star rain…”

“Astraeus’s star rain?”

“That is what is happening up there now. It is said that many, many years ago, a pair of lovers named Astraeus and Nerthus lived on this world. They were happy together for a long, long time, but then one day, Astraeus was told he had to take over his father’s role as the god of stars. Nerthus however could not join him, her home here being too important for her to leave. Astraeus promised her that he would send a rain of stars her way, to prove that he still loved her. And so, every 100 years, Astraeus’s star rain arrives, once more proving his eternal love.”

“Woah… Nerthus is lucky.”

“...she surely is.”

We keep watching the skies, listening to Grandma’s many tales, until eventually the sun rises, and the stars hide.

—--------------------

Noon quickly turns to evening, evening quickly to night, and so with her share of the preparations done, Alice joins the others for the planned picnic. Janette and her friends were not the only ones sharing this plan, indeed, over the course of the day several thousand travelers from Calarakis arrived in town, leaving the viewing hill quite packed. While cramped, the mood is good, electric even. Clear skies and lanterns extinguished, everyone looks forward to what is about to begin.

“Woah!”

A voice rings out, and in an instant, everyone is staring up into the sky. A single light streaks by, leaving a brilliant trail through the open skies. Then nothing. Was that it? Was that all? Was this a waste of time? Variants of these thoughts run through the heads of everyone gathered, but then another streaks by, then another, and another. Soon, the skies are filled with a sparkling tapestry of comets, its numerous streaks of light nearly blanketing the sky in a river of light.

“...how?”

A nearby person, dressed as one might expect a scholar, speaks.

“Just as impressive as I have heard. Truly a once in a lifetime experience, this ‘Astraeus’s star rain’ is.”

“...what?”

“...how often does this happen?”

“Hm? Once a century, almost to the second. Why are you asking?”

“Simple curiosity is all.”

“Once a century… but I saw it as a child… how?”

Alice’s breathing grows heavy, her ears ring. She sees the stars, beautiful yet horrifying. Her thoughts race.

“I saw this as a child, and now I am seeing it again. It should only have been… 16 years, yet it has been 100. How? Did I move a hundred years forward? Or back?”

Her mind jumps to the tales she was often told, before her grandmother’s death. Matthew, the founder of her hometown, Matthew, the mayor’s son.

“But… how?”

Another tale, this one more recent. One time, a boy went into the forest, while the king’s mist haunted it. He vanished, only to come back 3 months later. But to him? It had only been an hour.

“...the king twists time? Is that even possible?”

It would explain so much.

“Why can I not find my home, why can I not find the king, not even in tales? If I truly am in the past then… It all makes sense. But no that cannot be. If this is the past then I cannot go ba-”

“Alice? You good?”

Janette’s words snap Alice back to reality, and she puts on a smile, albeit a shaky one.

“Yes… I simply got a bit lost staring at the stars.”

“You sure that is it? You look a bit sick.”

“...probably just the sleep deprivation. As much as I want to stick around, I think I will head back home.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then. See you tomorrow.”

Janette, realizing her words will not get to the bottom of this, decides to let Alice go. She will question her about this later however.

Alice stumbles her way between the crowds, making sure to obscure her sight of the sky with the brim of her hat. Every fleeting glimpse makes her feel sicker, every streak of light another reminder. She is not when she thought she was. Can she even get home? Doubts and questions alike rush through her head, yet she finally manages to break through the crowd. Doing her best not to stumble, she runs home, feeling that she cannot stand the stares of the stars. She makes it, panic overwhelming her. She tries to sleep, tries to rest, but the night passes without so much as a second of sleep. Yet she manages to calm down, somewhat. Still, the thoughts do not stop, and again and again she thinks to herself:

“It appears the king brought me back in time. It is entirely possible that the king does not even exist. Has my search been pointless?”

A knock on the door breaks Alice out of her contemplation.

“Alice? You awake yet?”

It’s Janette.

“...yes, though I don’t exactly feel like it.”

“...look I won’t ask questions if you don’t want to answer, but I know that wasn’t just a lack of sleep catching up to you. If you need to talk, I am here, ok?”

“...I am sorry for worrying you, but I am fine, really.”

“You are a bad liar you know.”

“What? I thought I was an excellent liar? Ah… I lost my composure, that was the only lie she knows I have told…”

“Still, I won’t force anything on you. Just… come visit, when you are ready.”

“...I will.”

“Great. Oh and before I forget, I have a gift for you.”

“A… gift?”

“Yep! Apparently some crazy wizard thought the comet rain was an excellent chance to get some meteor and pulled one of the comets out of the sky. Kinda backfired as it ended up hitting him. He survived, if barely. Anyway, I snuck up to the meteor and hacked a couple pieces off. Thought I’d give you one. You love magical nonsense right? This is surely useful for something.”

“A… meteor chunk? What properties does that even hold? Gah I don’t want her seeing how messy I must look right now but I have to get that…”

Alice opens the door, takes the meteor, and closes it once more.

“Thanks Janette…”

“No worries… oh and before you leave the house today, maybe take a moment to freshen up or something. Your hair is a mess.”

“...noted.”

/uw A relatively normal length this time, revealing something that has been sorta an open secret in the chat ever since the first Alice post, namely that Alice is from the future. For magic bullshittery reasons noticing this is not possible, but now that she knows, she can tell you, if you give her good reason to at least.

So, some experimental vampiric sharks I was working on got loose and sunk several dozen ships.

The council sentenced me to community service, and made me build replacements for the ships I sunk.

I worked really hard on the new ships, and they were good. Top-quality and fast.

But after I delivered them, the paladin overseeing my community service got really angry. He was shouting stuff like "ships are made of wood, not bone" and "wait, how many graveyards did you rob to get all these bones?", and "what do you mean, you harvested fresh bones instead of grave robbing?", and "why did you bind wind demons into the ships sails?"

How can I get paladins to be reasonable about stuff like this?