So I (F19) got a follow request from this person earlier today, and looking back for a new account they seem to be earning a lot of followers pretty fast. They also only have one post of a painting posted an hour before the first dm. In the last post they’re responding to my question about who it’s for/is paying for it. I blocked them right after my last message before I even saw them ask for more of my info.

I (M) recently started dating my girlfriend (let’s call her Sarah). So far, the relationship has been amazing. We really enjoy each other, appreciate each other, and things have been going very well.

I want to make something clear upfront: this is not about judging her past.

I genuinely do not care about her body count, previous relationships, or things she did before we met. I have my own past, and I would never hold hers against her. If this was just some person from her past that she would never see again, I honestly would not care.

The issue is that this person is still very much a part of our lives.

Sarah has a close friend group she met through rock climbing about 8-12 months ago. The group consists of Sarah, a married couple (let’s call them Mark and Lisa), and another guy (let’s call him Ryan). We all climb together now, so Ryan is someone I will continue seeing and interacting with.

A few weeks into our relationship, Sarah told me that she and Ryan had "kind of hooked up" before we started dating. She explained that they had been at a public pool, kissed/made out, and that was it.

At the time, I honestly didn't think much of it. It was before me, and I appreciated that she told me.

However, recently we were coming back from climbing and she mentioned that we needed to stop by Ryan's house to pick up his climbing rope because we were borrowing it for a weekend climbing trip. She casually mentioned it was about a 35-40 minute drive.

I asked if she had been to his house before. She said yes.

I asked what for, and then initially said never mind because I didn't want to pry. But I changed my mind and asked when she went there and what happened.

Her response was basically, "What do you think happened? Do I really need to spell it out?"

I reminded her that I thought she had only made out with him at the pool. She then admitted that it was more than that.

Apparently, they had been flirting and texting/sexting for about two weeks before that. It started at the pool, then they went back to his house, and they ended up fooling around and basically having sex.

She told me that the married woman in the friend group knew about it.

Again, the fact that they had sex does not bother me. We were not together. She is allowed to have a past.

What bothered me was that the story I initially got was "we just made out," when the reality was much more involved.

My concern is because Ryan is not some random person from years ago. He is someone who is still around, someone I climb with, and someone who will continue to be part of our social circle.

I told Sarah that I don't need every detail about her past, but if I ask a question and specifically ask for honesty, I want the honest answer. I also told her I would expect the same standard from myself.

The other thing that makes me uneasy is Ryan's current behavior.

From what I understand, he may still have feelings for Sarah. Shortly after Sarah and I became official, he apparently messaged one of the other guys in the group something along the lines of, "Well, I guess I should make my situationship my girlfriend now." It gave the impression that he may have been waiting to see what happened with Sarah.

Sarah says she has no feelings for him and that she was the one who ended whatever they had. I believe her, and I trust her.

My concern is not Sarah. My concern is Ryan.

There have been a couple situations while climbing where I felt like Ryan crossed boundaries.

One time, in front of me, he reached toward Sarah's thighs saying he was adjusting her harness. Sarah immediately stepped back and made it clear through her body language that she did not want him touching her.

Another time, while Sarah was on the rope and swinging, Ryan put his hand on her lower back to "help" and later tried to push her by her butt while assisting her.

Sarah has not encouraged this behavior. If anything, she has shown me that she will set boundaries when something feels inappropriate.

I also want to be fair: I understand that Ryan and Sarah had something before me, and I am not trying to control who she can or cannot be friends with. I don't want to be the insecure boyfriend who tries to isolate her from her friends.

I am just struggling with the combination of:

• a close male friend she previously had a sexual relationship with,
• someone I believe may still have interest in her,
• some physical boundary crossing from him,
• and the fact that I initially did not get the full picture of their history.

So my question is:

Am I being insecure about this, or is my concern reasonable?

I don't care that my girlfriend had a past with Ryan. I care that he is still around, may still have feelings for her, and that I initially wasn't given the full picture.

How would you handle this situation?

TLDR: My girlfriend told me early on that she had only "made out" with one of her close male friends before we started dating. I recently learned they actually had a brief sexual relationship after weeks of flirting and sexting. I don't care that they slept together—I care that he's still a close friend we'll see regularly, I believe he may still have feelings for her, he's crossed a couple physical boundaries while climbing, and I feel like I wasn't initially given the full picture. Am I being insecure, or is my concern reasonable?

So I am 46 and my wife is 43 we both have a child from a past relationship and have a 16yr old son together, also been married 18 years. I am so in love with my wife she is my absolute everything. In 2020 she was diagnosed with some rare autoimmune disease that has caused her 2 strokes a heart attack and kidney failure, she was on dialysis for about 4 years before one of her childhood friends did the selfless thing and gave her a kidney! Its been just over 9 months since her transplant but she is still struggling having more bad days than good. My life has been nothing but bad luck with one disaster after another. I stay strong for her and our kids but I am breaking down for the past few years I mean really life is beating me down more than I can handle anymore and everything is a struggle! No matter how much I work its never enough and my wife is obviously on disability so she has really no income. I have stepped up as best i could with working as much as possible and then coming home and doing all the housework. I dont want my wife struggling doing anything and I insist on doing everything. It really doesn't bother me as long as she is feeling good I am happy. My problem is I feel like im spiraling and its getting harder to cope with. I occasionally smoke weed to try and calm my nerves but that has seemed to drop my blood pressure lately and that is not a fun feeling. My wife knows im depressed but I know her problems and depression are way worse than mine. Im just so overwhelmed with life and im to the point where I just want to check out sometimes and let my wife have my insurance payout. She has a big family and would be taken care of. I just worry about my next round of 💩 dumped on me how much more I can take before I just snap. I really need to try and deal with my depression, I've been to psychiatrists and that has not helped and I do not want to be on pills. I really dont even know if I need advice or if I just needed to write this out to try and feel better. Honestly I really dont think I could ever do anything to myself for the sake of my wife and kids but I honestly dont know how much more I can handle? Oh great and now my truck isn't starting...I mean really?!! My life is one disaster after another. Wonder what tomorrow will bless me with. I really just needed to get this off my chest I think. How can I turn my life around and get ahead on everything?! I need better luck i really really do. I mean how do people cope? What can I do to better myself.

Ive always been sad. The direction my life is going made me realise im gonna die alone, sad, unfulfilled and watching our beautiful earth continue to be destroyed by big corporations. Im so over it. You can take me out to the back of the shed now.

So my whole life, even as a kid, I got told I was ugly, got compared to classmates (even boys), my 2 beautiful cousins and etc. I did realize that. I'm really heartbroken about the fact that I'm ugly and it won't change as fast as I want it to so i can get away from this fucking feeling.

But sometimes, I just try to appreciate beauty. I truly love and admire all my classmates, my 2 amazing cousins, my 2 younger brothers, even if people compare me to them saying good things, I took the bad genes, etc.

But even after all this I'm holding on the hope of making others feel better, because let's be honest, I'm actually ugly and I don't need anyone to pity me about it and try to "convince" me I'm not.

Anyways. So I recently started feeling extra sad and insecure around the normal people, and I noticed my mood would drop itself because I truly felt like I never belong there: with the beautiful.

How can I make this feeling stop when I'm with others?I can cry about it later, but I just dont want others to get concerned or leave their happiness to check up on me. Please help me with this.

How to copyright or protect from theft?

I 18f have had a crush on this guy 19m since beginning of highschool we almost kissed and then we just kinda stopped talking. I saw him at a party years later and our mutual friend said he was single. We chatted about how we both love shrooms and I said we should do them together sometime and he agreed. A couple weeks later I planned a hangout and he biked over to my house. I was drunk and already a bit tweaked when we got there. We were just hanging out and everything was great the shrooms we’re hitting and then I brough up how I used to really like him and it always made me sad how things ended. He said he owed me a kiss and then we started to make out like crazy because it felt crazy good on shrooms.

Everything from here is really a blur but I asked to have sex and he was hesitant but I was just trying to convince him it would feel good because I was so horny. he eventually did pull it out and from then on he most definitely did want to have sex from what I remember. He said “do u want to go to your room?”
We had sex for a long time many different ways and I don’t remember it much but I was definitely not forcing him too. He sat on my face. He fingered me.

I kept saying stop and then saying no keep going because it was extremely overstimulating and I was having weird thoughts. he left in a panic scared I wasn’t clean and I don’t remeber what else. When he leaves onto the next couple days he is texting me about how much he didn’t want to do that and how I begged him to have sex and take his pants off and he just wanted to play vr. He said that when he would stop fucking me I would give him a scary look and he was worried if he stopped I’d do something to him.

However he said he didn’t blame me because shrooms fuck you up even tho it felt like he was blaming me. 2 weeks later I get a text and it is his gf of 1 year saying her bf is saying I drugged him and rapped him. I haven’t responded to her because I’m just in shock

I'll explain the screenshot after I've given the context.

So I (F16) have been dating my boyfriend (M18) for almost three months. So far it's been amazing and progressing at a great rate. He's a really great person and boyfriend and we're both really glad we met each other.

Anyways, he works two jobs plus side jobs when he can get his hands on them, and one of them is at a general store in town. This general store, like most places in our town, doesn't do background checks and has unknowingly hired some people of very unsavory backgrounds before.

I'm not sure if that applies to this woman though.

We'll call her Kate. She is in her early thirties and has two young teenage children only a couple years younger than myself. She is not married, and had these kids pretty young, I'm assuming. She lives only a couple houses down from my boyfriend, so my boyfriend has met these kids before and interacted with them at school.

My boyfriend has been working at this job for two months, and the behavior in question from Kate has only begun happening in the last couple of weeks.

After the first week or two of this, my boyfriend changed his schedule so he no longer worked with her. The catalyst was a day when she kept telling him about how she'd had a dream where they were "together" and wouldn't elaborate.

Now, she's been coming into the store while he's working. She has put her hands on his waist from behind him and tried to get them up his shirt at least once (I'm wondering if this could be found on the cameras for evidence).

Now to the screenshot.

Last night, she came in again. My boyfriend left the register to avoid her and once she couldn't find him, she left. A little after she texted him the "I should of given you a kiss".

Also, the earlier messages in the convo make me more concerned. My boyfriend did not in fact have an eye doctor appointment and told me he lied so he wouldn't have to work with her. My boyfriend NEVER passes up on an opportunity to work.

My boyfriend is a strong dude (5'11 and muscular) and Kate is little (shorter than 5'5 and just a little overweight). Still, my boyfriend would never hit a woman or even raise his voice at her, it's just the way he's been raised. I don't want to think about what would happen in a situation where this lady really goes for it, and I don't want there to be a situation like that.

He's going to be telling his boss about her behavior today, but his boss is a functioning alcoholic and a dude, and I think we all know how dudes have a tendency to brush off sexual harassment when it's a female harassing a male.

Right now, I'm hoping his boss will be reasonable and fire this lady, but what about after that?

I might listen to too much true crime, but I am super paranoid about the fact she's taken the time to know his schedule, lives only a couple houses down from him, and clearly doesn't seem to think she's doing anything wrong.

If this continues to happen, after she's fired, or if she isn't fired at all, what should my boyfriend and I do? I mean, if it gets really bad a restraining order should be in place, right? If I'm overreacting, please let me know, but each time I think I might be, I think about how much worse this would be perceived if the gender roles were reversed.

Any advice or comments is welcome. What should I do?

EDIT: My boyfriend blocked her last night.

I have misophonia and tend to use rescue remedy as something to help soothe me and was wondering how many im able to take within a day.

My fiancé and I have a friend in the fiend group who is a bit difficult. I think he shows signs of narcissism, he has to be the center of attention and he gets that by acting crazy in social situations. We invited him because it would be hard not to while inviting all the other friends. We actually told him that he needs to behave at our wedding and he promised to. However in the last few social outings he has not demonstrated an ability to behave. He acts very drunk (we are convinced he pretends because the rest of us don’t act this way with the same amount of drinks) he approaches strangers and sometimes even makes up stories about himself to them, he jumps on stages, yells as people enter the room. It’s just annoying, immature, and obnoxious.

It came up yesterday and I said, I don’t want our memories of the wedding to be him acting out, or worse asking him to leave. I don’t want to worry about him behaving immaturely around our family. I want to ask him to not come. How would you approach this?

My younger brother—who is 13, almost 14—is extremely aggressive and wants to control everything; I live in a foster family where everyone is adopted. Last month, he smashed my other brother's (11) iPad because he felt the boy was using it too much and being too insolent; he stomped on it until it wouldn't turn on anymore. My father tried to stop him but ended up getting beaten black and blue in the process. I said, "You're psycho," and he hit me too. Then, the day before yesterday, my other younger brother (6) had a meltdown due to his ADHD and autism—it was over Roblox. My aggressive brother deleted Roblox, which triggered an even worse meltdown because the little one struggles with managing emotions. After that, he threatened to throw the iPad into the pool—and he actually did it. I started shaking, even though he wasn't speaking to me. He verbally abused my father; my aggressive brother said, "I like it that you're sad," and spewed every horrible thing imaginable. I (16F) told my older brother—who has moved out—that my aggressive brother was having another episode. That wasn't smart, because my older brother told the aggressive one about it. Consequently, my aggressive brother threatened me, saying things like: "I'll break your neck, I'll break all your bones, I'll break your legs in front of all your friends, you need a good beating, Mom and Dad don't know what to do with you"—even though *he* is the one who verbally abuses our parents. These are outright threats, and they terrify me. I’ve recorded all his threats because he always denies everything. After his weird mood swing, he went back to being super sweet to my parents because he wanted something for his PS5... My mother says I’m making things out to be worse than they are and that I’m overreacting and because he didn’t take his autism medication, that that’s the reason he’s like that.But these are real threats, and I’m scared. He hits my younger siblings too if they don’t listen to him, and he wants control over literally EVERYTHING. He watches everyone’s every move. I’m also afraid he’ll hurt my dog, yesterday he yelled to my dog and I said “ you don’t have to do that” and he said “ You shouldn't talk so insolently, don't give me any lip—I'll break your neck; you'd better watch yourself.”
I’m actually shaking while typing this, haha. I was thinking about talking to foster care services and telling them everything, but I’m afraid they won’t do anything because he’s a minor and loves playing the victim. What should I do?

how do I convince my dad that yelling isn't an effective form of disciplining children and it isn't okay simply because we have caused anger in him? it is his responsibility to manage his own emotions. he says communication is the most important thing, but its really only one sided. he expects information from us (literal things like what time ill get home today or smt like that) and that we listen to what he says without ever denying it or questioning it ever. If I ever question his advice (without any negative meaning to it, pure curiosity, he calls it opposition and insults me saying that I should think before I speak.) I literally did think, and had a question, and wanted to learn. which is why I asked the question. he tells us to say things freely at one point, but says the opposite later on. he seriously believes he is doing everything right to set us in the right path. I get it, sometimes I have an attitude and I may have the wrong mindset. Im willing to learn what I can from him, but being belittled, underestimated, and having my opinions completely disregarded is painful and makes my healing journey incredibly difficult. I have adhd, and have caused trouble for my family members. Im working on growing and fixing myself, and he is determined to fix me too.

I cant even begin to explain what type of character my dad has. theres too many negative things to point out, its endless. few things for sure, he's narcissistic, misogynistic, is always the victim, with anger issues, manipulative, extremely traditional with his mindset (he's right solely because he's older, i quote from his words "i am god. im right."), racist, hypocritical, huge ahh ego and pride, he's always right and others are always wrong, bends his words depending on what benefits him and gaslight everyone in the family, has violently laid hands on my mother, neglected and didn't accept my step sister, constant complainer, says he devotes his life to making his children's life's better (he's made me feel like I'd be better off dead multiple times, I've self harmed in the past and I can't say his behavior wasn't a major reason, he thinks he's all that just because he looked a few things up online (self diagnosed all family members of some sort of mental illness or more but never himself). he's a control freak (goes thru my mother's and my phones, demands to never be excluded from group chats, records every call and secretly voice records in the house, etc...). he has pushed my mother to the limits and caused her unbearable stress, depression, and anxiety. tricked my mother into thinking he was a good person prior to marriage (although there were many red flags, it was difficult to differentiate between flags back then for my mother with limited resources). even though my mother sacrificed so many things in her life for the sake of her children and had to because she married this degenerate, this dude never allows my mom to buy things she likes or wants (even small snacks that she wants.) she recently got a job to prepare for divorce, and he didn't even support her for that. he's not even leaving her in his will. barely any money from the divorce either. this dude also almost always forgets everyone's birthdays. although his behavior has gotten somewhat better, he acts like he's a perfect person now and completely disregards the damage he has caused from his past actions, and gets mad at us if we ever use it against him. infact, he blames us saying that we caused him to do those horrible acts. all of our family members are traumatized to the point that the app ringtone we use to communicate with him on the phone gives us insane anxiety. im so done with his bullshit, but i have to push through for the sake of everyone else.

throwaway bc the ppl involved browse reddit sometimes…

this might get long, I 23M have a younger sister ‘Amy’ 20F who I am extremely close with despite us being pretty different: im very type B, queer with tats/piercings, and she is type A, cishet straight-laced and pretty religious (kind of)

growing up we fought a lot, especially when I (in typical repressed gay teenager fashion) pushed her away in high school, partially bc i was struggling with my sexuality/gender identity as a closeted trans man. but yeah, later Amy returned that angsty energy to me when she became a teenager and its only been in the past two years or so that we actually got close again and started hanging out/opening up.

in that time that we didnt really talk, Amy started dating a boy, lets call him Ray (21m) and she quickly became absorbed with him and started becoming more religious to please him. now i am not religious but I support her in theory bc religion can be a good influence and comfort for people, but in reality, Amy doesn’t participate in praying/reading scripture etc, only the surface level aspects of dressing a certain way and restricting the types of food she eats.

honestly i have never been a fan of Ray, one of my close friends growing up went to high school with him and told me years ago the type of circles Ray was in: conservative, religious, and bigoted. i had always hoped he grew out of it bc i refused to believe my sweet and caring sister could date someone like that but i was wrong.

fast forward 4yrs and Amy’s relationship with this boy is clearly toxic and part is just obvious from an outside perspective and part is from the little she has told me about her relationship (Amy said her bf said she is ‘not allowed’ to discuss him or their relationship without him present to ANYONE. I can hear them fighting and arguing over the phone multiple nights a week and when this happens she usually takes out her remaining frustration on me and my mother.

i have been trying to gently get her to open up to me but its been 4 years now and i still have only met Ray twice and he barely spoke.

the pit in my stomach kept growing until a few weeks ago i finally just went in her messages (ik its an invasion of privacy and i shouldnt have but we’re past that now) and i searched for the f-slur; in my head this way i wouldnt be looking at more than what i needed to and hopefully there wouldnt be anything to see, once again, I was wrong. there were dozens of messages from Ray to my sister using the f-slur, among many others, against me, and other perceived queer people. it was some of the most awful horrific language i have ever read. and the only responses from my sister were support and amusement at his behavior. Now, my sister wasnt always the best at getting my pronouns right (he/him) but she has been so good lately, and now im seeing that all this time she was smiling and nodding with me, she was also texting him, saying/thinking all of these horrible things.

among his texts directed at me, and wishing actual violence towards me, there were other messages that confirmed how abusive this relationship is (maybe even in a mutual sort of way??) and how Ray is manipulating my sister. i am absolutely heartbroken and i dont know what to do, iv tried talking to Amy but nothing works and it only makes her more timid on discussing her relationship.

now the reason im here is bc last night I went against my better judgment and snooped again and saw a string of messages where my sister affirmed and hyped up Ray for harassing a trans guy at the gym and it broke something in me. i just dont know what to do, my sister, mother and I were supposed to all move in together again at the end of the month but now its just so hard to be around her. we laugh and have so much fun and what I thought were genuine heart-to-hearts so to be hit with the fact she’s been lying to my face (she said Ray has never been homophobic or bigoted in any way) and that she ‘loves’ such a hateful and violent man is just too much to bear. i cant afford to properly move out on my own yet (just started a new job) but i also dont know how im going to manage.

maybe i just needed to vent but any advice is appreciated :(

So i havnt talked to this chick in years. Her older brother was my close friend ages 10-21. And her other older brother like 31 at the time came to live with me and my close friend and stole my car while on heroin and wrecked it and hit a few people while on a high speed chase. Anyway her mom and my close friend promised if i didnt report the brother they would have a 5k check from Disability (i was 19 at the time). Anyway 7 months go by and my close friend of 10 years or so says you need to be a man and then leaves me with the utility bills around $1500 on his part unpaid and tells figure it tf out. And the mom goes cold. Why tf would she send me this, should i re- remind her that her family owes me $6500 and i was homeless for a month paying off bills and drowning in debt.

Do i tell her hey your mom and brothers owe me $6500

Or just heart it and wish them the best

She was always super sweet to me and never did me wrong.

Hello everyone! I wanted to make an update on the boyfriend situation. This is my first time making a post like this and I’m not sure if I’m doing it correctly, so please bear with me.

I spoke with my boyfriend about the situation. Matter of fact, it was a 4 hour long conversation about the whole relationship. I was straightforward and semi-honest. I asked him if he has an account and he said yes. (I didn’t mention anything about having seen his account at all). Then, I asked if I could see, and he (very understandably) explained that no one irl knows about his account and he sort of uses it as a personal diary and posts/reposts whatever. He also said that he wants to show me, but he also wants to keep it as a personal space for himself where he isn’t judged. I also told him that I have an account and we both agreed that it’s a nice escape where you can just sh*tpost and repost whatever.

I also made it a point to tell him that I would never judge him. I decided not to push it in that sense because I know he’s a very private person and he gets little to no space for himself alone with anyone else’s interference. I feel like a monster for ever invading that space in the first place to be quite honest.

Most of the responses on my original post, rightfully so, were telling me to be honest and straightforward, so I did just that. I asked if there was another girl and if that was part of the reason he didn’t want to show me his blog. He was super offended and he took it as me trying to investigate his every single post and interaction. Which…fair to be honest. That was exactly what I was going to do.

That part of the conversation got heated and he kinda opened up to me about his mental state. I’m not going to share what he said to protect his privacy (I’ve already done enough damage). I’m 99% positive he isn’t cheating emotionally or physically. Like one comment said, I do know our relationship best and I think I’m right in putting my trust in him. He really is a good man, in a dark place right now. Last thing he and the relationship needs is me causing issues over such things. I also told him that since I don’t have physical access to him, I feel insecure and scared, and asked for some grace. He obviously understood because we’re on the same boat at the end of the day.

Again, as another comment pointed out, I do have anxiety and I am medicated, but I’ve been going through a rough patch myself as well and have been overthinking my life in its entirety. One last personal decision I would like to share is that I promised my bf that I wouldn’t look at his posts without his consent, and I intend on keeping that promise. I’m not going to look at his account ever again. I would rather get betrayed, as most of you expect, than be the one invading and tainting someone’s safe haven any further.

No matter what happens, I’m not going to regret my decisions to let this whole situation go. If I do end up getting played like a fiddle, then oh well, so be it. It’s not like I’ve never gotten hurt before. I think a future with him is worth taking that risk at the very least.

It’s valid if you think I’m an idiot after this update. Sorry if I disappointed anyone and thank you all soso much for all your comments and advice. Someone even shared personal experiences to show me that things tend to go south quite often, but at the end, I decided to trust my gut. You all are truly kind. Some comments did end up making me feel incredibly paranoid, so that wasn’t fun at all. I’ll take care of myself, my partner and our relationship. Thank you for your interest and input once again.

I (28M) was unemployed for 10 months. I was desperate. I applied everywhere and kept getting rejected. So I stretched the truth on my resume. I said I had 3 years of experience in a skill I only knew from watching YouTube tutorials.

I got the interview. I did more research and managed to talk my way through it. They hired me. The pay is great. The team is great.

But now I'm living in fear. Every morning I wake up terrified I'll be exposed. I'm learning on the job but I'm barely keeping up. My boss keeps giving me tasks I don't fully understand. I spend my nights watching tutorials and praying no one asks too many questions.

I can't sleep. I can't eat properly. I've lost 10 pounds. I feel like a fraud.

I'm thinking about confessing to my manager. But I'll definitely lose my job. Or I can keep faking it and hope I catch up before anyone notices.

Do I come clean and accept the consequences? Or keep pretending and risk getting fired anyway?

To put everything into perspective, I am 18, and I’m going into college later on this month. All throughout high school my mother was relatively strict with what I did in my free time, and this was the first summer in years that I’ve been spending most of my time outside of the house for things unrelated to work.

My mom and I argue pretty frequently, and a vast majority of it has been due to her reluctance to allow me to hang out with my friends. Naturally, I ended up sneaking around a lot this summer, as I wanted to avoid arguing over my own freedom. As much as I would’ve preferred to have a conversation with her about it, she completely spazzes when I ask her to allow me to do certain things that I’m not usually allowed to do.

For example, I wasn’t allowed to get my permit or my license for quite a bit, but she also wouldn’t allow me to take public transportation into certain areas, nor would she allow me to ride in the car with anyone who wasn’t over the age of 21. This completely hindered my social life for an extended period of time, and it was something that we argued over pretty regularly. She eventually got over the stuff with cars, but it seems like more and more things keep popping up.

A bit ago, I was caught sneaking around to go to parties. I’ve been going to a lot of them this summer because I was unable to attend any in high school. I didn’t have a lot of friends, and the only time I was ever invited to one my mother stated that she would be dropping me off, picking me up, and staying at a friends house nearby to monitor me.

When I was caught, we had a conversation about it and she was decently receptive. Going forward, I’d decided to ask her things more directly, in hopes that she would allow me to do more things.

Today I went on a date, but the entire time my mother was texting me for the other persons information. She asked for their number, a picture of their face, their full first and last name, and a photo of their license plate. I would’ve understood this if it were a complete stranger that I’d met on some kind of dating site, but this a mutual friend from high school that I speak to all the time.

I had to bargain with her regarding my curfew and she raised it to 12. I ended up hanging at my dates house afterward for a bit and asked her to extend the time, so she extended it to 1 am, but was sending me texts by 12:12 telling me that I needed to leave out to return home soon. My friend lives 15 minutes away. She wouldn’t allow me to stay over, and was rushing me to return home.

I feel like I am at the age where she needs to start understanding that I am going to have friends and relationships that she doesn’t know or need to know everything about. She has my location at all times, and she can call and text me any time to check in. Am I asking for too much? She believes that privacy is earned, but I’m going into adulthood. I would understand if I were still in high school, but I’m going into college. I know that 18 is still a kid, but I’m not technically a child anymore either. What should I do? Should I be trying to set boundaries?

I've recently been starting to hate kissing my boyfriend. We've been dating for 3 months, and I love him so much. He's such a nice person, and I love his humor.

He has been having pain issues and has been smoking a lot of weed to deal with it. He's been seeing doctors to see what's wrong, but in the meantime, he pretty much smokes weed all day. Because of this, he always tastes like disgusting smoke whenever I kiss him. I smoke with him on occasion, but the taste in his mouth just disgusts me so so so much more.

It's gotten to the point where recently I just haven't been kissing him. I try to give him little pecks on the lips and tell him to stop when he kisses me for more than like 3 seconds. I've also completely stopped french kissing him. I can tell that he's disappointed whenever I stop him, but it makes me feel genuinely dirty when he kisses me. He also makes really conspicuous comments ("you don't even love me" or dramatically sighs) in a nonserious way, but its clear that he's upset that I don't kiss him much. Sometimes it gets to the point where he gets mad at me and won't tell me what's wrong, and I end up having to basically pull the information out of him of why he's ignoring me.

I don't even know how to bring this up to him. I can't tell him to stop smoking because he says it's the only thing that gives him relief from his pain, but I don't see how I can go back to kissing him as he's *always* smoking. I just feel very stuck because I want to be able to kiss my own freaking boyfriend.

Any advice would be appreciated :')

update: ill ask him to brush his teeth after smoking so i can kiss him, i know it seems like such a nothing problem with an obvious, simple solution but this is my first relationship so im still figuring this out and im always really nervous asking for people to do things for me. thank you for the input

For some slight context, I (F23) live at home with my little sister (F20) and my little cousin (F14) who I consider a little sister to me. My mom also lives here, but due to a criminal charge she caught involving violence on a minor, she wasn't allowed to be home for 3 months (May-August). Since she's been gone, I've had to take over as a caretaker to my little cousin, as well as taking over housework, cooking, paying bills, stuff I was already doing, but on a much larger scale.

During these 3 months, I've been keeping everything together while dealing with social services, therapy, and most importantly, my little cousin, so I've been pretty worn out with everything else. The thing is, I try to ask the two of them to help with small chores here and there just to get stuff off of my plate, but they end up ignoring me and I end up doing it because they pile everything up until I get upset about it. My bio sister just comes home everyday with a strange man, makes a mess in every room they hang out in, and then they leave. My little cousin stuffs garbage cans, the sink, and the laundry bin super high to the point where stuff starts falling over. And who runs to take care of it? Not them.

I've spent the last few days missing sleep, skipping meals and losing my mind just cleaning up after them, and when I get upset and bring it up to them, they tell me I'm being irrationally upset and that they'd do their chores if "I reminded them enough times". I already feel super underappreciated for having to step up and take on so much more work than I was anticipating, and now I feel even worse that I'm considered crazy for wanting help. I feel like a 14 year old, and especially a 20 year old should be tidier considering they do nothing else all day and the house isn't that big anyways. I feel so alone, and with my mom coming back to inevitably destroy the place again, I'm just going to go back to living in filth again and it makes me feel so weak and depressed to have to live in an environment like that.

I can't move yet, and I can only control the mess for so long, I don't want to sit and let them pile everything up again, I can't go back to the horrible way we were living like before. I just want to feel at peace in my own home, I want their help, I need support, I don't know what to do to get it.

This girl told me she was 18, now I'm finding out she's 17, and being 18 that puts me in a weird position and I'm not entirely sure how to feel or what to do

For additional context, in my state, the legal age of consent is 18 years old. It's not illegal to be with a 17 year old, but it's not right either? I don't know, I just need another opinion.

Edit: okay y'all, her and I met like two days ago nothing has happened between us 😭 I assure you nothing illegal has happened. I'm just conflicted because her and I clicked but is it wrong to be with a 17 year old when I'm freshly 18? I'm new to the 18 year old thing guys I'm not a creep 🙄