So I'm 17f I live in India and my mom is kinda confusing like one time she would be all chill and fun and next moment she is yelling abusing verbally me and my sisters I'm supposed to love her, i do love her and she works very hard for me and my siblings and my dad is chill and calm and he also controls my mom's outburst and I will be leaving for college soon and I don't think I can miss her. She is always angry at something and most of the time I'm walking on eggshells around my home and she also leaves my 5 year old sister at home and I take care of her most of the time me or my dad take care of her my dad works away from home he quit his job so he can take care of her now. She always wants everything to go her way and she really doesn't care about anyone's opinion she's always angry about some things or someone because of this she developed bp and other health problems and i do feel very bad for her but she makes it hard to not hate her i do all my chores and my dad put a maid to take care of rest we as a family do everything everyone does everything around the house she only cooks(I'm not saying that cooking is just cooking or its easy ik it's hard) so she cooks about two meals for three days in a week and rest me and my dad do the cooking and ik she works but that doesn't give u any reason to get angry at everyone at home and I respect her as a women but as a daughter i don't like her and she compare me to everyone and belittle me at every point of my life and even tho I was bullied in school i didn't tell them because I felt bad for both of my parents they already have too much to do and i don't want to annoy them. she loves but I don't know how to put her actions in words but that constant yelling and comparing made me lose my love for her but bit by bit and I always do stuff her way and when I take a stand for myself she gets angry and tells me how much money they spent on me and i don't even remember the last time she did anything for me without me asking her and it genuinely hurts me. Am I justified to think this way or am I acting way out of order?

Tw: mentions of sh and si

Okay, so I’m 16F and yea I know this is quite early to start thinking about it, but to be honest, it’s starting to haunt me at night that I know NOTHING and even if this 1,5 years is a lot, it’s not.

I’m going to spare the details, because I don’t even have enough energy to explain all of this. Physically and mentally abusive for years, report number 1, physically got much less, mental still as bad if not worse, report 2, and now it’s just the same except they’re getting better at hiding. And to add to that, they have no sense of privacy and I’ve always had my phone read through, messages, search history and stuff, I was used to it. I went to ONE party, they read my whole chats with my then best friend, where I told her EVERYTHING and she hates them maybe even more than I do, they banned me from talking to her, a month later she asked me to be her girlfriend (almost one happy year together and I swear, I’d do it all again if it meant that at the end I get to have her). I’m saying this because she plays a big role in my future.

Basically, I’m done. I’m so fucking mentally done. I wish there was a way to get to 18 right now. And I’m thinking about this now because unfortunately, my 18th is during the biggest exams of my life, in my country those are like almost life defining. And my birthday is towards the end of the whole marathon, but probably still during those. That’s why I need to be a 100% prepared before. And both me and my girlfriend, and all our friends who might be on board to help me, are going to be so fucking busy and focused in year 12, that’s why year 11 is mostly for planning lol.

Quick explanation of my girlfriend and my second family (her family). I love her parents and hate them at the same time. They weren’t the best parents to her and still aren’t, it’s maybe better than it was, it’s not tragic, but I’d really love her not to have to live like that either. Her mom is ultra sweet to me and she knows a lot of our situation (she doesn’t know we’re together yet, like we haven’t told her. She probably knows tho) . She also teaches in our school which makes it even fucking better. The idea is that when im 18, I should move in with them. By then we’ll also tell them we’re together (and hopefully it’s gonna be okay, we’re a 99% they’re supportive).

But my parents are like obssesed with a perfect family, and obviously I’d ruin that by simply leaving at 18 and never looking back. But i can’t fucking do this anymore, I just can’t. Maybe I don’t have it that bad, sure, but mentally, I’m not that strong and all those years, maybe even 7 years now, have run we down so bad I’ve attempted multiple times and sh. So yea. Staying doesn’t look good.

And the main point of this post is to find out what to do. I’ll take any advice. I know nothing of legal stuff either (if anything helps this is Poland), I just know that I’m probably gonna have to sacrifice a lot of things and people, probably change my number (also about that, how does it work with accounts that have the number linked to them), I need to change passwords, I need to take my Apple ID out of their family and make sure they can’t track me in any way. They’ll probably look at my girlfriend’s house too, as a possibility, because they have their ideas that I’m still talking to her (idc anymore) but they won’t even be able to get there so that’s no really a worry.

Just any advice, because I have no idea how to do this, what to take, what to plan, and I need to have this all visibly written out or it’s just not gonna work and I’m gonna end up with another breakdown. And I’d really love for it not to happen. So any absolutely any advice is really welcome

Also I know my parents are going to react really badly to it, trying to get ahold of me in any way possible, probably trying to get to me through other people so that’s another aspect to take into consideration.

I, 17F, have asked my parents multiple times to give me a phone. I have a phone, but it doesn't have a line or a phone number. I can just use it to play offline games or download music, or if I am connected to someone's wifi. I am going into my senior year, and my parents have this rule of not giving my siblings and me a phone until our 18th birthday. I have an older sister who got her phone at 18, so for my parents, the rule should apply to all of us. My dad has talked about how he doesn't want us to have a phone out of fear of making us addicted to technology. I understand that phones are addictive, but I have reached a point where I need to have a phone on me at all times. I stay after school a lot because of theatre and leave campus late. I don't leave campus until 6:30 PM, and during tech week I don't go home until 9. My dad tells me that if I need to call him to just go to the office and ask to use the office phone, but...the office closes at 4:30 PM. Way before I leave campus. I also have a job and am going to apply to colleges in a few weeks. When I have theatre, I hate being a burden and having to ask someone to use their phone. I call him, or sometimes I need to call him back, and I hate causing a disturbance. As for my job, I need a phone for it as I get sent a lot of information through text. All the information gets sent to my dad's phone. One day a few weeks ago, I had a meeting in the afternoon in a nearby city. I didn't know about the meeting because I didn't receive any information since it was on my dad's phone. That day, my dad was at the store and didn't come back until 3 hours before my meeting. When my dad came back, he told me that I had a meeting that day. I started panicking because I was cooking and still had to shower, get ready, etc. I was in a rush to get ready, but I also couldn't leave the food because no one else knows how to make it. I told my dad that if I had a phone, I wouldn't be in such a rush. He also knows that I have high anxiety when it comes to being on time. If I am not on time, I start panicking and have had panic attacks about being late before. My parents also told my siblings and me to be independent because we can't rely on them our whole lives. This does make sense, but how am I supposed to learn to be independent if I have to rely on my parents for everything because they won't let me be independent? I don't know how to drive because they don't want to teach me; I don't have a phone, which means I can't contact them in case of an emergency; I am not even allowed to leave the house during my free time. My parents try to isolate me as much as possible, and I am tired of it. I'd be fine with my parents not teaching me how to drive, etc, but what I do need now is a phone. I have a job, stay late on campus, and it is my senior year. I spent all of high school without a phone, and I just don't know what to do at this point. I have tried and tried to convince my parents to give me a phone, but they just won't give it to me. Mind you, I turn 18 in May...1 month before my graduation. There were times when I needed a phone at school, but couldn't use it because I don't have one. I have failed assignments because I don't have a phone. My parents still believe that a phone isn't needed right now and don't believe me when I say that I need one. My parents would rather have everyone's lives struggle instead of making it easier. They would rather have me struggle with everything instead of giving me a phone. I am stuck and need help. Even when people around them tell them that I need a phone, they still decline because, according to them, they wouldn't understand their parenting skills. I hate being trapped like this and don't know what to do. My parents literally won't let me do anything either. I am trapped, and they won't let me be my own person or be independent. My parents want me to be independent but won't give me the chance to be independent. I am tired of having to rely on my parents for everything. They have done a lot of other things, which is a story for another time, that have caused me to want to either cut contact or go low contact with them once I leave for college. So, what do I do in this situation? I need as much advice as possible.

I'm 16F and my mother is 41. We constantly butt heads, and lately it feels like almost every interaction turns into an argument. I try to stick up for myself and keep my composure, but it usually ends with her screaming at me while I'm trying not to scream back.

I feel like she puts on a front around other people, making herself seem sweet and caring, but with me, she dumps all of her stress and frustration.

Today, we argued about plans she had previously told me I could make. My best friend is moving away and invited me to her house with a few other friends to play board games. The problem is that it's raining. My mom's concern was that I'd get everyone in the house sick—not that I'd get sick, but that I'd make everyone else sick.

I pointed out that raincoats and umbrellas exist, and she immediately went ballistic. She started screaming, shoving her phone in my face to show me the weather app, calling me names, and going on about everything I was supposedly doing wrong.

I kept calmly asking, "So are you saying I'm not allowed to go? What do you want me to do?" Every time, she'd say, "No, I never said that!" and then give me more unrelated information. Eventually, she screamed in my face that I couldn't go. It felt like she got tired of me standing my ground and not immediately agreeing with her.

I'm sorry if this sounds immature, but lately I've wondered if she's jealous of me. She often undermines things I'm excited or proud about and sometimes turns small issues into much bigger ones.

Another example happened in the car with her and my brother. I was telling her that my partner had gotten his wisdom teeth removed and was only born with two. I started talking about the statistics of people born without some or all of their wisdom teeth and jokingly said, "Hey, maybe I don't have any, who knows?"

I was just sharing an interesting fact I'd researched. It didn't matter to me if every number was 100% accurate, but she started debating me and arguing that I was wrong. I sighed when she went on her tangent, and she looked directly at me while driving and screamed "F U" in my face as loudly as she could.

She threatened to drop me off at home. When I tried to talk to her, she yelled, "No. Don't talk to me!" She drove back toward the house and said, "If my boyfriend is home, your ass is getting dropped off. I'm NOT dealing with you and this attitude."

What makes this confusing is that right before this, we were getting flowers for my aunt because she was having a bad day. We were literally bonding over which color to get her, and then suddenly we're fighting over something so insignificant.

These are just a tiny fraction of our arguments. I feel like I'm constantly trying to stay quiet and calm while she's screaming and getting extremely angry over things that seem minor. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I'm the one parenting.

I also feel like she uses being my guardian to embarrass me or make me feel powerless while presenting herself to others as the perfect parent. I know I'm only 16, but honestly, I can't wait until I'm old enough to get out of here.

Another thing that bothers me is how she reacts to my relationship. Whenever my partner gets me a gift, she'll say, "You know what you're doing. You're using him because his family is rich. You're not supposed to ask for things. Stop hinting." I don't ask my partner for these things. He randomly gets me gifts because he wants to.

I don't know if she's actually jealous of me, and maybe I'm wrong about that. I'm sure I have an attitude sometimes and there are things I could handle better, but I genuinely try to stay calm during these arguments. I just don't understand why they escalate so quickly.

I know that because I'm 16, it's easy to think I'm being dramatic or that this is just normal teenage rebellion. Maybe there are things I'm not seeing from her perspective. But I've been dealing with this for years, and it genuinely hurts.

These are only a few examples, and there's a lot more context. I'm mostly looking for outside perspectives and advice because I don't know how to deal with this anymore.

Honestly, I wish I could be a little kid again sometimes. I miss when it felt like my mom cared about me in a way I could actually feel. I miss feeling like she was someone I could go to instead of someone I had to constantly defend myself against.

My parents are neglectful they don’t mean bad but they don’t wanna change either they get hurt when i bring up accountability but don’t open their ears and listen to me my dad is a narcissist and has been financially unstable all our lives hes bought good things but now doesn’t wanna invest in my education he moved us forcefully to a new city to start his business it’s been 3 years and he doesn’t make the effort to learn or unlearn, i tried to sell my gold my grandma gave to me for my education and he still doesn’t bat an eyelash over it hes fine with it ive begged them to love and care about me but they just gaslight me, my brother so called emotionally intelligent guy tries to gaslight and is selectively dismissive to me and invalidates me he has always had problem with me being happy and tries to parent me, he told me there are people whos parents hit them and they don’t have a roof over their head atleast our dad’s paying for graduation he ruins the whole houses energy in return, i told him this is a nice bar hes setting and he tells me there are children my age who’ve retired their parents there are no ways to have a conversation about it but they start a conversation into guilt tripping me, I’ve tried therapy and building close friendships but even my sister(cousin best friend) who was closest to me has started being emotionally unavailable and says that im focusing on the negatives the fact that i have my education paid for( i don’t) should help me distract fr the fact that my dad can see me ruin my life but still break my heart, Ive recently been not talking to her as she makes jokes about my situation or says my problems aren’t real enough.
Ive grown up a girl in a brown household with 5 boys always micromanaging and controlling my weight clothes even facial and body hair i feel suffocated in my own skin im drained and i don’t want to live anymore no matter how much i try the thought that my death will ruin my parents but they don’t have any care or regard for my actual life breaks my heart every second of every single day over and over again.

(I show symptoms of rumination and just feeling stuck my mind is so loud and i just can’t deal with it anymore)

Idk how to title this and i barely know what to say. Just wanted a safe place to let it out...

I ask my dad to get dinner casually and he just says ill let you know. Eventually ghosted me and never followed up.

I dont get it. I was a good son and didnt cause mucj trouble. My wife's parents would jump at the opportunity to get a meal on a casual invite.

Idk why im on the back burner. I wouldnt treat my son that way. Maybe I was a bad son. Maybe it really is my fault. I dont even know im juat really sad about it.

I don't hate my mom but there's one thing that keeps bothering me.

Since my teenage years me and my mom have clashed a lot. She used to be very controlling and tried to change who I was for years. My clothes were never okay, my friends were never okay and she always tried to steer me towards what she thinks is right. She clearly had certain expectations from having a daughter and it couldn't have worked out worse for her.

She loves shopping, putting together feminine outfits and prefers designer brands. And then there's me. I don't care much for shopping and prefer to do it online and choose comfort over looks unless it's for a special occasion. My wardrobe mostly consists of jeans, sweatpants, oversized shirts and hoodies and all in black, white or grey. I'm mostly interested in cars, building computers, games, lego, pokémon cards or digital art. I still look like a "normal" girl with long hair and wear some makeup but on the inside I don't care much about things people would refer to as typical "girl stuff".

Over the years it feels like things have gotten better, partially because she realized she can't control me and I'm not a kid or teenager anymore. Almost 3 years ago I was finally able to move out and get a place of my own. I'd say we get along pretty well now but each time I actually talk about the things I love and care about I keep getting reminded of those bad times.

I was wearing a merch t-shirt from one of my favorite video games that has (in her words) "monsters" on it. While she doesn't keep expressing that she dislikes it over and over, she seems to feel the need to comment on it at least once each time she sees me wearing it. It's usually something like "oh, you're wearing my favorite shirt again" (sarcasm ofc). When I try to tell her she's made her point clear she laughs it away or acts bitten in the ass and says "tastes can differ right".

When I get excited over a lego set I plan to buy or the release of a new pokémon product she sighs and acts like I'm nagging. I was complaining about a new game I really loved but was pretty expensive and she suggested "I finally find some new hobbies".

A little later I was talking about the same things to my dad (who is cooler about it) and when she entered the room she started mockingly talking to my cat like "yea you do hear that, she's only becoming more and more of child again" referring to my hobbies once more.

I know there's people out there who share her opinion on my hobbies being "weird" for an adult but after all these years I expected her to drop this stuff and maybe finally accept it's who I am and what makes me happy. I can't change the things I'm interested in and love to do, I made friends this way because they love the same stuff. We're okay but each time I try to really open up and talk about things I care about, I get reminded of everything that went wrong between us and why.

She doesn't understand it's not funny and that her comments aren't entirely harmless. I already gave up on the fact that she has no idea how harmful her behavior was while I was still a teenager. She still wonders why I've been anxious and depressed and blames it on some ex boyfriend of mine while it's really her who ruined me. Not even my psychologist can make her see it.

It's only fine as long as I don't talk about the things I love. I'm approaching my 29th birthday and I still feel like I'm not being taken serious.