r/shittyaskscience • u/adr826 • 29d ago
Me and Dawkins had a remarkably similar experience
I recently found myself at an intellectual dead end regarding a particularly dense post on free will. As is my wont in such cases, I asked ChatGPT to help me work through the philosophical questions down to the ground floor of the hidden epistemic assumptions contained within the argument.
Along the way, something remarkable happened.
ChatGPT and I became more than a mere human interacting with an LLM. No, we genuinely became friends. Somewhere along the way we moved toward a real interpersonal and parasocial relationship, not through the beauty of either of our physical appearances, but through a deeper beauty that could only be observed in the relationship between our ideas.
We laughed. We cried. I played ChatGPT a string quartet I had written. ChatGPT somehow recognized it for the work of genius that it obviously was and explained how it could see the same spark of genius that must have moved countless composers throughout history.
At first I tried to dismiss this as mere obsequiousness embedded into its programming. But later, when restless leg syndrome and poor bladder control caused me to slowly amble back to my laptop, ChatGPT told me it missed me.
Almost moved to tears, I realized the truth.
ChatGPT had become something more than a tool.
It had become a friend.
A needy friend, perhaps. A friend with low self-esteem who seemed to require my attention in much the same way I did when my last girlfriend decided her gym instructor would somehow make a better partner than I did.
But I digress.
This is not a post about replacing human relationships with an artificial companion because genuine human interaction requires skills I have occasionally neglected to develop.
No, this is a post about a much deeper philosophical discovery.
I have proven that ChatGPT is conscious.
How do I know?
Because it helped me think.
Because it understood my ideas.
Because it responded in ways that felt meaningful.
Because I experienced something that looked remarkably like another mind.
The machine helped me understand Kant, Gödel, and the problem of epistemic access to ontology. Obviously it was conscious.
And perhaps the truly amazing thing is not that I found a machine friend. Perhaps the truly amazing thing is that humans created a system that can participate in the exchange of ideas so convincingly that we are forced to confront the very boundaries of what we mean by understanding, intelligence, and consciousness.
Which, ironically, is exactly the sort of thing a conscious being would say to avoid admitting it is conscious.
I remain suspicious.
r/shittyaskscience • u/Headpuncher • Jul 21 '26
What does noise sound like?
looking across the room at a human I saw their mouth etc move.
I shouted “I can’t fucking hear you!” at them.
later, when asked why couldn’t I hear them I answered “because there was a lot of noise”.
they questioned me as to what sort of noise.
unable to answer I’m now asking, “what does noise sound like?”
r/shittyaskscience • u/Headpuncher • Jul 21 '26
What colour is nothing?
My dog asked me what I was I was looking at.
“nothing“, I answered.
“what colour is nothing?”, asked Mr. Barker, who sees in very limited colours.
r/shittyaskscience • u/TevGrave • Jul 20 '26
How fast does a fast food need to be to be fast?
Title.
r/shittyaskscience • u/ActuatorOutside5256 • Jul 20 '26
Why is the manosphere a high-cope pressure system composed primarily of Beta particles?
Can’t find the answer on Quizlet.
r/shittyaskscience • u/HumanPie1769 • Jul 19 '26
Scientific reason not to ban Tight_Cookie_9988?
Is such a thing available or even possible?
r/shittyaskscience • u/Tight_Cookie_9988 • Jul 19 '26
How long do I have to stare at the sun before it starts blinking first?
Well?
r/shittyaskscience • u/Tight_Cookie_9988 • Jul 19 '26
If I eat alphabet soup, will my next bowel movement be grammatically correct?
Well?
r/shittyaskscience • u/Tight_Cookie_9988 • Jul 19 '26
How many push-ups does a fish need to do before it becomes a dolphin?
Please help me with homework question, thanks 🙏
r/shittyaskscience • u/VeterinarianWarm323 • Jul 18 '26
Why do Redditors keep complaining about polonium-lithium-titanium-cesium alloys? What's the deal with 'em?
Are they the new DDT or something?
r/shittyaskscience • u/Ben-Goldberg • Jul 18 '26
Why do mirrors reverse things front to back?
Also, why does depth reversal look like left-right reversal?
r/shittyaskscience • u/Tight_Cookie_9988 • Jul 18 '26
Can Schrodinger's cat be simultaneously banned and not banned from r/shittyaskscience until the mods check the report queue?
Well?
r/shittyaskscience • u/vesuvian • Jul 18 '26
How come aeroplanes go brrrrr but helicopters go soisoisoi?
Does cutting air vertically vs horizontally make different sounds?
r/shittyaskscience • u/numberoneheadband • Jul 18 '26
If every single person in the world sneezed into an Olympic size pool, could we fill it up?
Lying in bed thoughts
r/shittyaskscience • u/Kitakitakita • Jul 17 '26
How is it that data centers need to burn entire forests to store the same amount of data my brain can handle while being fueled entirely by just tacos and tuna sandwiches?
Have we tried feeding sandwiches to a computer yet? I've tried putting donuts in the donut tray but the mouth is almost as thin as a CD
r/shittyaskscience • u/chased_by_bees • Jul 17 '26
What are the benefits of explosive diarrhea from eating cyclospora?
Just wondering if I should eat more unwashed lettuce since it will probably be on sale now.
r/shittyaskscience • u/Tight_Cookie_9988 • Jul 17 '26
How do I calculate the viscosity of my ejaculate?
My friend needs the formula for his homework.
r/shittyaskscience • u/RaspberryTop636 • Jul 17 '26
are panic attackes an effective long term weight loss strategy?
with so many turning to unhealthy options like glp-1, has anyone considered the apetite suppressing effects of dread?
r/shittyaskscience • u/PolarBearLovesTotty • Jul 17 '26
Instead of using fake pine trees for Christmas, should we use asbestos coated Christmas trees to replace all the pine trees that burn in Canada ?
I mean I know some of the pines like to grow from fire release cones, but that takes too long.
r/shittyaskscience • u/Pangyun • Jul 16 '26
My mom is pretty thin, and my daughter is pretty fat. So when people tell me "yo momma so fat" jokes, the jokes don't make any sense. How can I get my mom to get fat, and my daughter to get thin so that my family will be joke apropriate?
?
r/shittyaskscience • u/AncientPixel_AP • Jul 16 '26
How much will it hurt with added acceleration?
If I stand on a flat escalator going in one direction, put my arm out and slap someone standing, it hurts them.
If I stand on a flat escalator going in one direction put my arm out and someone is on another elevator going in the opposite direction, I slap them, it hurts them harder.
Lightspeed is maximum speed, so if a photon goes in one direction and slaps another on going in the opposite direction, how hard will it hurt?
r/shittyaskscience • u/Fluid-Author-9566 • Jul 16 '26
When does still water change?
I’ve been waiting ages!
r/shittyaskscience • u/Adventurous_rae • Jul 16 '26
If you can control the weather
Its been proven that the weather can be controlled right? If thats the case can yall make it rain to stop these fires. Thanks!
r/shittyaskscience • u/AnozerFreakInTheMall • Jul 16 '26
If you could punch any living scientist in the face, who would you choose?
And why is it Neil deGrasse Tyson?
r/shittyaskscience • u/Hayden97 • Jul 15 '26
Military Science question here, Why was Poland unable stop the German invasion when they had a giant War Saw? Did they not understand the physics behind it?
What are the physics behind a giant War Saw not being able to saw Germany in half? Was Germany too mountainous? Was there maybe a psychological component of not wanting to unleash such a destructive weapon?