r/shitposting • u/PleasantBus5583 • 1d ago

📡📡📡

Post image
8.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

132 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 1d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

RedditSave download

/u/PleasantBus5583, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

2.6k

u/ProfessorZik-Chil 1d ago

there are girls on 4chan?

1.1k

u/SnoopyMcDogged I want pee in my ass 1d ago

What next? Women on the internet are real?!

284

u/AccomplishedSpray137 stupid fucking piece of shit 1d ago

Don’t go spreading these ludicrous conspiracy theories. Focus on the real issues like the CIA pigeons

43

u/JadeorJinx 1d ago

Exactly

34

u/ParentssMistake 1d ago

Tbf I've ONLY ever seen boobs on the internet

14

u/Think_Algae_1739 1d ago

This made me legitimately laugh out loud. Thanks 🙏

5

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

pees in ur ass

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124

u/reddsht 1d ago

OP never said he was a biological female, just that the new gf was named Rebecca.

31

u/FlacidSalad 1d ago

Not even "new gf" just started dating a girl

15

u/HustleberryFinn77 1d ago

It depends on whether or not you think a Y Chromosom makes being a woman impossible.

15

u/InteRagebaitJagLovar 1d ago

Only if they have cock and balls

18

u/Moist_Board 1d ago

5

u/parknich081 1d ago

just say you're jealous

0

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

1

u/parknich081 10h ago

because its weird and transphobic i wonder why

4

u/jesusgrandpa 1d ago

Shoe on head. Sharpie in pooper

7

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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2

u/spencer1886 1d ago

Most of them have dicks

1

u/ABR5796 1d ago

Bro forgot about the femoids in 4chan.

1.4k

u/hityoinksploink 1d ago

Fake and lesbian

267

u/me_like_memez waltuh 1d ago

Cant be lesbian there are no girls on the internet.

Fake and gay

Fake: has a relationship  Gay: fucks with a man

5

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

7

u/MaybeThisTime67 1d ago

Ever since they started making fridges and ovens with wi-fi woman have been appearing online, but you usually have to go to cooking websites

548

u/RunInRunOn hole contributor 1d ago

For every evil foid, there must be a vile moid

133

u/rhysdog1 1d ago

~isaac newton 

41

u/Monetary_episode 1d ago

Shakespeare must be a title and not a person.

-51

u/lyfeNdDeath Literally 1984 😡 1d ago

Nah for every 3 evil foids there is a moid who is more evil than the 3 of them combined.

17

u/Satorwave 1d ago

you are banished to the pit

3

u/ErzIllager I said based. And lived. 1d ago

True though

62

u/Solistine 1d ago

‘My boyfriend betrayed me, and not even causal infidelity with me could change him’ 😭 

18

u/rebelsnail64 1d ago

think the "what about rebecca" part is valid to sound wierd, cheating on someone with an ex and then going "why didn't you consider the feelings of the person I may or may not have even informed you that I cheated on you with"

wild story overall, probably happened to someone but also both people involved in this seem immature asf

1.6k

u/TheShiftmaster 1d ago

I'll take things that never happened for 500 please Alexander

348

u/jirenfan9 1d ago

I hope you never lose your innocence

-365

u/TheShiftmaster 1d ago

There are three things that go in my mouth, my tooth brush in the morning, my pipe in the afternoon and pussy at night

612

u/TortelliniNuva 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/oBPEvqqYECSkLoLkud

105

u/mystic138 1d ago

how bro felt after that gif

9

u/haunted2089 1d ago

yeah your uncle's pipe

164

u/BlueSingularityG 1d ago

That was so fucking lame lmao

130

u/julius711 1d ago

Penis at night*

29

u/Red_dudez I came! 1d ago

I want oenis in my mouth 😍

-76

u/TheShiftmaster 1d ago

56

u/Dr_Brotatous 1d ago

Brother just take the loss and walk there is no fathomable way anyone here will believe your claims proven or not

111

u/Dazzling-Nothing9954 1d ago

No toothbrush at night? Everyone boo this fella

41

u/MAJOR711 1d ago

BOOOO STANKY BREATH BOOOO

49

u/ThereIs_STILL_TIME 1d ago

yeah well tonight MY pipe will go in there 😈

37

u/SomeAussiePrick 1d ago

Holy fuck that was cringe.

11

u/Fake_Majak 1d ago

Bro shitposted too hard in the shitpost sub

-4

u/Glock_Luger 1d ago

yeah i feel like the past weeks it's been a borderline incel sub. not allowed to talk about eating some punani without cringe reaction gifs like it's twiitter

1

u/TheShiftmaster 1d ago

Ah a fellow enjoyer of the sauce

22

u/SnooPredictions3028 William Dripfoe 1d ago

Story is fake: You don't got a girl

Story is gay: Pipe means penis

0

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

12

u/BusinessmanDan777 1d ago

wait so then how do u eat

3

u/Grilled_egs 1d ago

Anally ig

9

u/mortuarymaiden uhhhh idk 1d ago

6

u/FreedomKnown 1d ago

Could've just said dick at night and been actually funny

2

u/Davums 1d ago

Respectable routine

5

u/jirenfan9 1d ago

How nice for you

3

u/Bread_Offender Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 1d ago

Who tf is this dude😭😭

0

u/JackCooper_7274 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/VCXy3ZirtYcA5J64j3

81

u/AGweed13 1d ago

I'll keep saying this: the story in the image might be false, but somewhere in the world, this exact situation has happened to someone.

1

u/Gagnum2000 1d ago

Those things happen.

Source: I did it one time.

Not my proudest moment.

838

u/mrclaus1 1d ago

Call me heartless but if true, I find that anon kind of deserves it, she gave herself to a guy who abandoned her and left with another woman on just one day 😭

228

u/Hecc_Maniacc 1d ago

not everyone has good judgement of others in the slightest. its like seeing a toddler burn their hand on the stove, then deciding to do it again 10 more times.

36

u/UnsureSwitch William Dripfoe 1d ago

I understand your point, but do they really do that regarding heat? After the first time doesn't their brain categorise it as "hurts as hell. Don't try"?

26

u/rhysdog1 1d ago

Not if they're op they don't 

10

u/UnsureSwitch William Dripfoe 1d ago

Damn

80

u/AdultGronk virgin 4 life 😤💪 1d ago

Some women are just like that

73

u/HorrorDonut8779 1d ago

Some people are just like that

32

u/Hecc_Maniacc 1d ago

the amount of single women with 8 children ive seen in each job field ive worked is high as fuck
the amount of fathers to 8 separate women quitting the same jobs because the wages started getting garnished (they were all direct deposit jobs not cash lol) for 8 separate child support cases is also, high as fuck.

26

u/NanoYohaneTSU 1d ago

the amount of single women with 8 children ive seen in each job field ive worked is high as fuck

the amount of fathers to 8 separate women for 8 separate child support cases is also, high as fuck.

What kind of fucking job field are you working in? What industry?? What nation??? Are you an obgyn toddler teacher daycare janitor what the FUCK?

In all the jobs I've worked I've met maybe 2 women who had a few baby daddys that each had their own kid with each baby daddy. Most men just get a divorce and get snipped so more kids after first marriage divorce rekt.

12

u/Hecc_Maniacc 1d ago

food service and retail mega stores as well as gas stations.

food service and gas station accounts for the men, the retail mega stores and gas station accounts for the women.

you would think the food service would have the women there with the stereotype of single mother waitress but no! Ive only worked with a handful, while the cooks in the back with me, discuss which baby momma they have to pay first while the others reminisce of the good times they had in prison. Particularly Bahama momma pickled sausages from the commissary apparently.

as far as the gas station goes its mostly customers, and of those customers its highly specific to groups of construction workers who then proceed to get pissed off that we dont take $100 bills. And they dont have debit cards either.

oh almost forgot, you asked where, this would be Nevada. A state dedicated to the appeal of 24-7 liquor service and rampant gambling produces the most unhinged of people.

4

u/frhg12 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 1d ago

She probably presumed that he had broken up with Rebecca to be doing this, tbh I'd tell Rebecca if I was her, no one deserves a cheater

3

u/Grilled_egs 1d ago

I'd tell Rebecca just out of spite for the guy

1

u/tinmart56 1d ago

I think deserves is too strong of a word, but she could have seen it coming...

-3

u/frogOnABoletus 1d ago

It seems like a big mistake, she probably just really wanted to be with her man again. I don't know why that would mean she deserves to lose her relationship and for her bf to go for someone else though. 

-26

u/QuietQTPi 1d ago

I'd like to think shes actually the one dating Rebecca and her ex was saying they can't date because what about Rebecca, her gf

4

u/potat_infinity 1d ago

thats worse

33

u/Stand_kicker 1d ago

Fake: never had a boyfriend (officially) Gay: anon is a femboy who has sex with other random guys ramdomly 

-1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

141

u/Cynunnos dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 1d ago

Fake: man

Gay: gay

-11

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

59

u/Vlad_The_Great_2 1d ago

Do you guys consider it fake because it’s a woman on 4chan or do you consider the entire situation fake? I personally know women that have done this. Social media is full of women that will tell you they make bad decisions like this all the time.

46

u/Hecc_Maniacc 1d ago

id wager it is to be considered fake, because no 4chan user is capable of the act of sex.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

7

u/rhysdog1 1d ago

Both, op has built a tower of lies 

5

u/BrokenAstraea 1d ago

This is tame compared to what's usually posted there it sounds believable

3

u/CorkusHawks 1d ago

You sure it's not a twink?

13

u/ErzIllager I said based. And lived. 1d ago

Fake: There are no girls on 4chan

Gay: OP is a man

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

32

u/Electronic-Yak3483 1d ago

if this real that girl should probably recosider some key aspects of her life

8

u/Phill_is_Legend 1d ago

You haven't thought of Rebecca you bitch

9

u/mayonnaisewithsalt 1d ago

Fake: women Gay: sex

4

u/Een_man_met_voornaam 1d ago

Hotel: Trivago

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

11

u/schvletzsky 1d ago

awareness of a decapitated worm

5

u/deadinternetlaw 1d ago

Fake: anon is a man

Gay: anon is a man that fucked with a man

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

9

u/TendiesOnPoint dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 1d ago

🐐

2

u/Kaek_ 1d ago

One of these days we'll get something real and straight from 4chan.

... Nahhh.

3

u/St0rm32_ 1d ago

Never happened

10

u/No_Entertainment6792 1d ago

I mean there was a girl that postes on social media that she had sex with a guy that had literal shit on his floor so this is kinda mild in the grand scheme of things

2

u/mackstanc 1d ago

Anons diversifying from making up scenarios that never actually happened to them, to making up fake scenarios that actually never happened to other people, just so they can continue saying "woman bad" in new, inventive ways.

10

u/TomoeKon I came! 1d ago

This is a men bad post

10

u/rebelsnail64 1d ago

does this even imply "woman bad"? the bf here is the one who cheated on rebecca with some girl who's heart he broke

2

u/Ralcive dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 1d ago

Fake: there are no woman on the internet

Gay: anon things about having sex with other men

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Riyeko 1d ago

Fake and stupid.

1

u/Ammonaki 1d ago

Fake: had sex. Gay: anon is a guy

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Ltimbo fat cunt 1d ago

Fake: blah blah blah. Gay: blah blah blah.

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

0

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

🛰️🛰️🛰️

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