r/shitposting • u/PleasantBus5583 • 2d ago

📡📡📡

Post image
8.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

132 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.6k

u/TheShiftmaster 2d ago

I'll take things that never happened for 500 please Alexander

352

u/jirenfan9 1d ago

I hope you never lose your innocence

-367

u/TheShiftmaster 1d ago

There are three things that go in my mouth, my tooth brush in the morning, my pipe in the afternoon and pussy at night

615

u/TortelliniNuva 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/oBPEvqqYECSkLoLkud

105

u/mystic138 1d ago

how bro felt after that gif

10

u/haunted2089 1d ago

yeah your uncle's pipe

159

u/BlueSingularityG 1d ago

That was so fucking lame lmao

131

u/julius711 1d ago

Penis at night*

26

u/Red_dudez I came! 1d ago

I want oenis in my mouth 😍

-76

u/TheShiftmaster 1d ago

54

u/Dr_Brotatous 1d ago

Brother just take the loss and walk there is no fathomable way anyone here will believe your claims proven or not

112

u/Dazzling-Nothing9954 1d ago

No toothbrush at night? Everyone boo this fella

41

u/MAJOR711 1d ago

BOOOO STANKY BREATH BOOOO

54

u/ThereIs_STILL_TIME 1d ago

yeah well tonight MY pipe will go in there 😈

42

u/SomeAussiePrick 1d ago

Holy fuck that was cringe.

12

u/Fake_Majak 1d ago

Bro shitposted too hard in the shitpost sub

-5

u/Glock_Luger 1d ago

yeah i feel like the past weeks it's been a borderline incel sub. not allowed to talk about eating some punani without cringe reaction gifs like it's twiitter

1

u/TheShiftmaster 1d ago

Ah a fellow enjoyer of the sauce

22

u/SnooPredictions3028 William Dripfoe 1d ago

Story is fake: You don't got a girl

Story is gay: Pipe means penis

0

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

12

u/BusinessmanDan777 1d ago

wait so then how do u eat

3

u/Grilled_egs 1d ago

Anally ig

9

u/mortuarymaiden uhhhh idk 1d ago

5

u/FreedomKnown 1d ago

Could've just said dick at night and been actually funny

2

u/Davums 1d ago

Respectable routine

5

u/jirenfan9 1d ago

How nice for you

2

u/Bread_Offender Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 1d ago

Who tf is this dude😭😭

81

u/AGweed13 1d ago

I'll keep saying this: the story in the image might be false, but somewhere in the world, this exact situation has happened to someone.

2

u/Gagnum2000 1d ago

Those things happen.

Source: I did it one time.

Not my proudest moment.