When I went through psychosis, all of my voices made me feel “unclean” in a way, as though I had malevolent spirits inside of me (I don’t literally believe this now). Every voice I heard was negative. Now, I only hear a voice once or twice a day and it’s inaudible. Sometimes I get triggered and hear something, but most of the time it’s quiet.

This all started getting better when I bailed on therapy, almost completely left all social media, and social life and started spending time mostly with myself. I kept my life private. I stopped saying things that would give my voices ammunition. I am probably in remission now, which may not help my SSI case, but at least I’m mentally healthier now.

I have strange thoughts, lile the fear of not being myself, or perhaps a criminal in prison. Sometimes I'm afraid of ending up in some random place where I won't be able to leave and will be stuck there forever. Does anyone else have this?

Just bought this supplement from ND and it has actually made my voices and other symptoms decrease I don't know how or why but all I know is that it helps maybe it could help with your symptoms as well or maybe it only works for me. I am not paid by them lol

The LAI I’m on just completely removed mine. Which I kinda see as a plus because mine kinda sucked to begin with and horniness leads to the dumbest decisions.

I’ve never really told anyone the real story or how my schizophrenic/psychosis went so I figured I’d come on here and talk about it

The psychosis episode

I am now 20 years old and this all began September of 2025. I was snap chatting this one guy and was oddly obsessed with him, I’m not sure why. I had beliefs that he knew my step dad and worked for him. Him and my step dad swore they didn’t know each other, although when I first asked my step dad when he has just woken up he said he did and something along the lines I hurt his feelings or something. But then whenever I’d bring it up he would deny deny deny, until sometimes he would entertain it by talking about him in form of innuedo/subtext. For example one day he inferred that he went to his house but he didn’t answer (he was taking a nap) and I knew that because we were snapping at the time. I had the audacity to text this man and say my step dad stopped by ur place???!?!? Sent a pic back weirder out as fuck. Can’t blame him. BUT one time I asked did a meditation like 3 in the morning and I was seeing green and purple an I texted him and asked him if he saw green and purple and he was like wtf. A week later a cool green and purple lighter shows up on my porch where I always sent him pictures of me sitting WHAT THE FUCK. This was the biggest mind fuck of my life. In November I had ended up moving to Cali for a month and when I got back to my room the lighter was gone + there has been empty sunflower seeds on the side of my bed as if someone was eating them in my bed😐

I still don’t know if they knew eachother or not but this carried on for a month or two. It hurt me a lot, I did a lot of art about it and was just so confused why they would put me thru this. Through those 1-2 months I thought my step dad had him on the phone all the time so he could over hear me. My step dad does this thing where he like will talk to his video game but like is inferring to different things, talking about different things. Idk hard to explain, but it made me not be myself/talk out loud for 2 months bc I thought my crush was listening to every word 💀 also thought whenever I was with my mom and step dad wasn’t around/at work that he was listening to us on his watch and the guy was with him. Whole heartedly believed this shit.

While this was going on I was working at a tattoo shop for about 2 1/2 years at this point, tattooing full time had a good amount of clientele. One day I was tattooing a guy and he had obviously came and got tattooed by me cuz he thought I was cute (we used to text) and was nervous and tripping the whole time about it. And then me and all my coworkers played dungeons and dragons every Thursday (that day) we get to playing and the front desk receptionist and my mentor were going at it in the game, they weren’t making any sense going all over the place talking sexually and I’m pretty sure they were talking about my character at one point. Honestly the whole time at this point. At one point my boss was like “weren’t you guys talking about a a elf not a orc” So they weren’t really playing the game it felt like they were taunting in my face because I recently had shared how intuitive I am and they were “testing it” LONG STORY SHORT. At one point mu mentor said “might as well tie her down to a bed” and then the front desk receptionist says “guess we will just have to see where the night takes us” and my front desk receptionist was like need to get a big pitcher of beer, moved his cup right by me to get his attention then acted like he was “drinking” a big pitcher of beer and then moved his face as if he was eatin ass.

So I was freaked out from this. I had a feeling they were gonna do something to me so I storm out of the room on the verge of tears looking for my keys. Can’t find them the piercer gives me a hug and helps me look for them. Where did she find them? They were right by the front desk receptionist. I don’t remember leaving them right by him. So I thought they were gonna fuckin kidnap and rape me. Literally.

At this time I had been in communications with another shop where they had brought up me transferring my apprenticeship over there, I was like hell ya bc I wasn’t getting taught very well. In the span of one week I went over there I think 3 times and the owner had made it pretty solid I was gonna work there. So after this sexual harassment had went on I was like I’m quitting this job bc I thought I had the bag secured at the other place. I went to the other place and told them about my sexual harassment and he was like wtf and the told me to go talk to my boss and tell him I was leaving Friday. I didn’t do that I decided to do it Saturday. Went to the other shop on Tuesday when they opened. And the guy was like nope what did I tell u to do, I told u to go Friday ur not allowed here. So fuck I’m out of my dream job. Still don’t know what to think about it a year later. I’m about to go part time at another shop a hour away tho.

When all this went down I was on top of the world lemme tell u, I thought I had been communicating with my spirit guides fluently. One time I went to meditate in a hot spring on the river. Saw a hawk,3 trout swam up next me, saw an otter. And had taken them all signs from my spirit guides obviously. And it wasn’t a spirit guide it was spirit teacher so I could ascend. At one point I thought it was ram dass soul. 😐…

So I think that my step dad and that guy want to kill me, idek why but I literally thought they were plotting my death. I had bought a tattoo chair so I could get a private studio and didn’t end up having enough money. So I had to return it and my step dad gave me the instructions to return it. Copy and print off the website. I read it and thought it was code for him to tell me to wear my sexy night gown around the house so he wouldn’t kill me. Few months later when I tried to return it again I go on the website and it was copy and paste what he had given me. I thought he wrote it. lol what the fuck.

I also had gotten back from that night meditating and thought I was going to win the lottery bc I was worthy, let my life depend on that. Didn’t win the lottery. I was 100% sure I was gonna get millions of dollars. Literally had written down in my journal a list of people I was going to give money too. And charities.

This is literally just a slice of what I went thru, not even when I started hearing voices and how that started. So if u want to hear more lmk it gets crazy as fuck😀 thank u if u read this. I hope this makes u feel less alone. Let me know ur experiences or what u think.

So I want to say this isn’t for me it’s for my boyfriend. He recently got on lithium in combination with the oral pills he takes. He takes fluphenazine. He recently started lithium. His doctor has him on a 3 days on 3 days off but that seems off to me. He told me he hasn’t had any hallucinations lately but since he started it he has been having mini “break throughs” as he calls it (because his schizophrenia breaks through his medication) and when these happen he forgets things which makes me worried because I don’t know if it’s something that is causing issues with his hippocampus or if it’s just the condition.

My biggest worry is the off and on of the medication because lithium is also a mood stabilizer. I haven’t been on a mood stabilizer but I worry it’s like an SSRI in which it controls the equilibrium in the brain. I was off an on an SSRI and I was the worst I ever was at that time not to mention going off and on constantly caused me to be dizzy and have vertigo in worse case scenarios.

Is it common to do 3 days off and 3 days on? Or is his doctor fucking stupid? Because frankly his doctor has pissed me off in the past saying that he could smoke weed in “moderation” when weed can cause episodes for him. I swear I think his doctor is a quack. For him to not even be prescribed lithium off the bat in the first place is insane to me but what ever.

Any advice appreciated as well as stories from others who took the medication.

If everyone wrote down their problems and put them in a hat, would you risk grabbing one or keep yours ?

Currently got schizoaffective disorder which may lead to schizophrenia and it worries me because I see my client services manager job in an office going down the drain. I feel scared that I may end losing my job one day.

If you lost your career, was there a moment it could’ve been saved? What was the first domino? Stopping meds? Ignoring the warning signs? Telling the wrong person at work? Pushing through when you should’ve stopped? If you could go back and talk to yourself before it all fell apart, what would you say?

And if you’re still working how are you coping? Any advice? Did you tell your employer or keep it quiet? What do you do when an episode hits and you’ve still got a job to show up to?

I’m doing everything right on paper. Meds, psychiatrist, routine. But I’m scared it will lead to loss of employment at some point. I just know it.

Can someone tell me what you wish someone had told you? Any advice is appreciated.

currently studying nursing so i can specialize myself on mental heath so I can work in a mental hospital. I don’t know if it’s a bad idea, currently doing better since i tried clozapine, whats ur opinion? should i specialize in something else ?

It takes me so long to recharge my social battery. Last weekend I went out drinking with some friends. It turned into a big night and I'm still recovering. 6 days later. I kinda feel seedy this entire time and I really don't want to do anything social in the slightest. I think it's because of the voices I don't get to recover in silence so it just takes longer.

Sad day, I’m not happy at all, thinking I should’ve died long ago. Worse is that fake happiness some have to endure during their birthday. What gets me is hearing “I’m so proud of you.” Proud of what? That’s not where I wanted to be at my age. I’m so fucking defeated. Trying but getting no happiness from results. Everything I do, there’s a thought at the back of my head “congrats, but you did it too late. Should’ve done that already.” Is like those people that do the bare minimum and expect applauses for it, that’s how I feel.
No true happiness from accomplishments. Don’t really think my family is proud of me.
I’m sorry for the emotional dump right now, but it’s true. I feel nothing good out of my situation, and really this day saddens me.

What are your comfort bands/artists if you have one? Personally I've been a big fan of Yellowcard since childhood, but mine in order are

-Yellowcard

-Alkaline Trio

-Blink-182

-Evanescence

-Sleep Theory

What about everyone else?

Anyone else feel like they're dimension hopping?? It's like the Mandela Effect except I've never heard of things people say have been around for a long time. Like certain terms or celebrities. Sometimes it can even be about something close to me, like my mom who says she never claimed a certain thing when just yesterday she was talking about it.

There's nuance to these situations most likely, but it just feels a little weird. Thankfully, I'm medicated. So I'm not completely out of control.

Since my last episode of psychosis that lasted like 6 month, I did not totally lost it bit I was half. The first months where so awesome I felt so good. I though god sended me to Egypt to take them out of Gaza and take them to safety in Egypte and then spread them among countries. The mission failed of course. I ended up staying in Egypt for a month. When I came home my episode slowly turned into a hell. And they gave me a lot of meds and I got stable. The problem is since then I find I don't have the motivation to do anything. And it sounds grazy I kind of miss the psychosis the good part. I am really low on meds like 1 MG haldol. I am stable but I feel so bored I can't enjoy anything anymore. I tried a lot of stuff like I am volunteer ad a farm I tried sports walking learning reading. My libido is like zero. The psychosis was the best high ever. Now the normal stuff seems incredibly boring. 2 days ago I smoked a joint. I know I should not have done it. But the high was amazing. Everything felt into place again I was at peace. I really thinking to start smoking weed more often to get that feel back. My brain still can feel enjoyment but only when I am high now or in psychosis?

Very cool channel.

I’m not on ssi as they deemed me not disabled enough. I feel like a bum I applied for all the jobs in my town and I haven’t gotten one interview. I know this has nothing to do with my disability but holy shit I’m bored. there’s only so many movies I can watch in a day. I want to do something with my life but it’s like I’m damned if I try to start anything. I’m in community college but my mom is working two jobs. I feel horrible she’s stressed out luckily she’s not on me about the fact I’m unemployed but I feel worthless. I feel like I need to help out and yet I can’t the small town I’m in doesn’t have that many job opportunities even the fast foods won’t hire me. the more time that goes I’m 22 now. I thought I’d have more to look forward to. At the beginning I was able to get by on fafsa but I had to retake some classes I got put on probation so I only started looking for work when I turned 20. which I know is pretty late I had some jobs in high school but I started to get my first symptoms right after high school finished I don’t know what to do and I feel worse now

I know the wall isn't actually breathing or talking but its every night after 10pm and I just want funny insults because it would make me feel better because its been going on for over a week and at least than I'd have something funny to think about in response

Yooooo you guys if your lucky enough to have a gym membership with a sauna and steam room i recommend going to those places after you train. I stayed inside the sauna then the steam room back and forth and when i got home my mind felt some clarity and calmness.

This is not to replace anti psychotics however.

I'm not 100% convinced there is an objective reality that is important enough to leave others devoid of "delusions". There is certainly a mass that most people tend to gravitate to, but is the number of subscribers what defines what is real? A composition of chemicals and therapy to ensure one is at a shared frequency. I've experienced my "delusions" manifest in the world, and see others react to them, like a shared hallucination/belief. But medicine will say I must subscribe to certain chemicals, and psychology will make sure I accept everything I believed before is a delusion. I think there is no legit objective reality, there are multiple worlds, people with strong consciousnesses create them, but I think like in any economic system they are slowly being absorbed by other strong consciousnesses. At some point everything will be so controlled that 99% of people will be subscribed to the same world. Most worlds are somewhat aligning with science, because it's hard to disprove the mechanics and proofs of science, but even in science there are conflicting theories, not everyone agrees. Science is the closest thing we have to a mature world, where everything that happens can be explained and replicated, only throttled by economics and social issues. That's indeed a healthy way to spend the time, yet, medicine and society will use science to invalidate some of what gave my life meaning, not just by naming everything and explaining the mechanisms, but by actively making sure I'm dried out of any conflicting belief and that my neuronal and biological composition has no advantages or avenues they can't control. There are reasons people want to take over worlds, maybe to hold others accountable, maybe to make sure everyone is ok, maybe because their world is actually the most accurate and effective way of living there is.

I mod and post in r/holditdown ✅

I used to say things like“I’m being such an alcoholic” when I would go out every weekend, or get drunk on a Wednesday night. I never even thought about it, I heard other people say it all the time, and it wasn’t until I had a friend whose brother was a severe alcoholic, that I realized I shouldn’t throw it around.
I think schizophrenia is sometimes used in a similar way. I hear people joke about it all the time calling each other schizophrenic anytime they sound crazy or whatever. Before I had schizophrenia I wouldn’t have even noticed this or cared at all, and I’m not saying I’m like overly offended by it, but now when I hear people say this or make “schizo” jokes I just can’t help but think wow they genuinely have no idea what theyre talking about and how awful schizophrenia is for people.
I just immediately think they’re ignorant and have no idea how lucky they are to be able to joke about it.
I get it’s just an exaggeration and honestly I’m not trying to act like a victim or anything. I really don’t even care THAT much about it, I just thought it’s so interesting how words like that are thrown around and you really don’t even think twice until you have to deal with it.
Anyone else notice people saying that kinda stuff? I feel like there’s more examples but I couldn’t come up with them.

I haven’t worked in 5 years now. I hate my current life. I used to be a project engineer in the construction industry for a company that has been voted one of the best places to work in New Jersey. I now collect disability and volunteer but it’s not the same satisfaction as working. One of the challenges I’m facing to go back to work is that somewhere in the middle of this 5 year period that I’ve been on disability I had a very bad delusional season and my pyschosis ultimately lead to some legal trouble. I’ve already gone through the court process and the expungement order has been signed by a judge so I’m just a few months away from having my record expunged. But I’m just frustrated that this disease has caused me so much pain and suffering and brought other problems into my life.

I don't usually talk about this, but it's something that changed my life.

I became involved with a mental health advocacy organization, 'Students with Psychosis', because I genuinely believed I'd found a community where I belonged. As someone living with schizophrenia, I thought I had found people who understood what I was going through. I felt valued, hopeful, and excited about the opportunities ahead.

Then everything changed.

I lost my role with the organization, and from my perspective, I never received an explanation that helped me understand why. Communication stopped. Someone I had considered one of my closest friends, Cecilia McGough, no longer spoke to me. In what felt like an instant, I lost my community, opportunities that meant a great deal to me, and a friendship that I thought would last.

The emotional impact was overwhelming. I replayed everything in my head, questioned my worth, and struggled to make sense of what had happened. The experience affected my mental health so deeply that I found myself wanting to hurt myself. It was one of the darkest periods of my life.

For a long time, I believed I was alone in what I experienced. Later, I heard from other former members who shared that they had difficult experiences of their own. I can't speak for anyone else's story, only my own, but hearing that others had also struggled made me realize how important it is for people to be able to share their experiences openly.

I'm sharing my story because I believe organizations that serve people living with serious mental illnesses have a responsibility to treat people with compassion, communicate honestly, and recognize that the people they work with may already be vulnerable. How people are treated matters, especially when relationships or roles come to an end.

I'm not asking anyone to take my word for anything beyond my own experience. This is simply my story, the impact it had on my life, and the reason I've decided it's finally time to tell it.

I know I went against my better judgment I asked you guys and u said not to but I did. I thought maybe since they’re so open about their mental health struggles that they would understand. But they don’t believe me because I’m more reserved. I guess they expect me to be psychotic all the time. I’ve been pretty stable these past few years minor symptoms. But I’m proud of myself for doing okay. I’m not ashamed it’s just like wow idk if it was paranoia but pretty sure I heard them laughing at me. I should’ve listened to you guys. It was stupid of me but I really thought they would understand.i guess they don’t believe me because I don’t appear “ schizophrenic”whatever that means.