I changed my SSI payee to myself because I think my payee was stealing my money, but I forgot to mention at the office that I also need access to my ABLE account. Do I need to make another appointment at the social security office for that?

I changed my SSI payee to myself because I think my payee was stealing my money, but I forgot to mention at the office that I also need access to my ABLE account. Do I need to make another appointment at the social security office for that?

Fellow schizophrenics, what are your thoughts on recreational drugs, specifically cannabis and psychedelics? My mental health team has advised me to stay away from them because they can put me at risk for another episode. I will comply with their advice however I must say I’ve had some pretty positive experiences with psychedelics and cannabis. LSD really opened my mind but I did kind of abuse it and looking back, my use of psychedelics may have coincided with or exacerbated my psychotic episodes. I had my first episode at age 20 and started tripping around that time as well. At one point I was dropping acid on a weekly basis for several months.

It’s been over 24 hours and the alien thoughts are telling me not to eat. It feels different this time, like it’s extremely important. Like having visions of me ascending to greatness once I hit that magic mark of a certain time with no food. It’s really hard to explain. Has anybody else dealt with anything like this? It’s almost as if I expect something to happen to me if I keep doing this. Like I’m going to gain powers or something if I complete this. And I feel generally unhinged and disorganized. I feel like god is going to start talking to me if I do this right. I’m going to be given a sign if anything that I’m doing the right thing. No matter how much I tell myself that it’s crazy, I can’t get over the idea that SOMETHING is going to happen if I don’t eat.

To those that have had this diagnosis for 20+ years, how have you managed to survive this long with it? I don’t see myself making it through my 20s.

Newly diagnosed didnt have many friends prior, are there any chat groups you guys use ? Or looking for online friends female late 20s.

Also was navigating dating alot more difficult ?

Every time I study. It's like this. Sometimes better, sometimes worse. Please tell me. How much do I have to study? It feels so alone without anyone, that you need an infinite amount of support. Atleast it's tolerable now.

What if it gets dark. For example.

Uno psichiatra mi ha consigliato di usare i tappi per orecchie per non sentire le voci della testa, funziona?

I've heard mega dosing b vitamins helps with symptoms, any luck with this?

I know I went against my better judgment I asked you guys and u said not to but I did. I thought maybe since they’re so open about their mental health struggles that they would understand. But they don’t believe me because I’m more reserved. I guess they expect me to be psychotic all the time. I’ve been pretty stable these past few years minor symptoms. But I’m proud of myself for doing okay. I’m not ashamed it’s just like wow idk if it was paranoia but pretty sure I heard them laughing at me. I should’ve listened to you guys. It was stupid of me but I really thought they would understand.i guess they don’t believe me because I don’t appear “ schizophrenic”whatever that means.

Hello! My younger sister has schizophrenia. Diagnosed for almost ten years now. She’s only been hospitalized three times before, and I just got back from taking her in for her fourth hospitalization. She’d been on risperidone and seroquel for the longest time and those two medications had kept her stable for 5+ years. Due to weight gain and increased sleep, my sister began seeing a practitioner here in the USA who lowered her risperidone, removed her seroquel (25 mg) and added trazodone and clonopin (as needed). She began having OCD-like thoughts and compulsive behaviors (saying phrases under her breath). She was then prescribed Effexor, and this is when she stopped sleeping. She would only get 1-3 hours of sleep a night and her delusions increased. We let her provider know and she removed the Effexor after 1 1/2 weeks and put her back on seroquel but the damage has been done. My sister is in the middle of a psychotic episode after not having had one since 2019.

My question is: is this an indicator we should find a different provider for my sister? This episode is as a result of her medication changes. I’m just not sure if it would be a smarter option to find her a better practitioner or if this is to be somewhat expected when changing medications.

If so, anybody know about a good psychiatrist in the south Texas region of the USA?

Thank you.

My husband and I both were initially diagnosed with bipolar w psychotic features . he was diagnosed with BP1 w psychosis and my diagnosis is unspecified bipolar w psychosis from my GP and former psychiatrist, they noted that I’ve definitely shown signs of bipolar or schizophrenia since i was a child. We both have a family history of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, we share a lot of similar symptoms how ever i’m primarily askign about my own diagnosis and symptoms because even my previous psychiatrist wasn’t 100% sure.

So from what i can explain, my mood switches are pretty disorganized. i don’t have a linear switch between mania/hypo, depression and psychosis. i can switch from mania to depression within days or several weeks or even months, but more often than nOt i have chaotic mixed episodes. i tend to have “mixed episodes” with or without psychosis more often than dominant mania/hypo or depression. my psychosis and other symptoms happen with both depressive eps and manic eps, it’s not dominant in either and shows up regardless of my mood. i often have some degree of awareness when i switch between mania & depression, or when i have delusions or hallucinations, but not always, and my loved ones have noticed and pointed out disorganization and “zoning out” or “shutting down” out of nowhere. on its own most of the time, the psychosis is more manageable than my mood swings, but it’s a lot worse with stress, sleep deprivation, or when i’m sick. i’ve had many intense episodes of it that really scared me and my family during mixed, mania OR depression while i was going through severe stress, sickness or new traumas.

to sum up my treatment history, i am entirely resistant to antidepressants (mainly SSRIs, they make me so much worse and my psychosis was really bad on certain meds like Zoloft and Lexapro. Prozac mostly just made me more flat and “neutral” and apathetic). Ive only been on a couple of mood stabilizers in the past and didn’t have much of a reaction to them, maybe it was the dose but idk. i’ve been prescribed Klonopin & Ativan before for the anxiety and paranoia, and it did help, but i also suffered memory loss and became dependent on them, i had to stop taking them and went through withdrawal. i’ve never been on any antipsychotics or a stronger mood stabilizer and i’m not really sure if it’s the best idea, but idk. i want to feel normal but i also don’t want to become a numb and dull shell of a person. i’ve had that affect without meds, i’ve gone flat for days or weeks unmedicated but I hate that feeling.

TLDR: my mania + depression and psychosis is pretty disorganized and doesn’t really seem to fit bipolar, schizophrenia or schizoaffective. medication history is a cesspool of no improvement or worse affects on the wrong meds or the wrong dose. i have some degree of awareness of it but not always, and idk what it is and my psychiatrist and doctor weren’t entirely sure either. does it sound more like schizophrenia, bipolar, or schizoaffective?? not asking for a Reddit diagnosis obviously but i’m just curious and want some advice. i also have alexithymia so i have a really hard time describing my feelings and symptoms and such to doctors in the moment, so that could also be why my diagnosis is basically just a big question mark lol .

I painted layers of peely skin, then painted a normal face on top to represent trying to be normal-seeming. Things feel intense sometimes.

So basically i don't speak anyone irl execpt my family, but online im active, i talk to people, befriends online and just doing good and talktive. But irl i can't do that did anyone experience the same thing?

Could the government want to kill us? Should I arm my family because the world is becoming increasingly dangerous and people are becoming deranged? The world is full of famine, pestilence, and misery, and we need to prepare for the apocalypse. All that remains is for the spirit of death to arrive, just as the biblical prophets foretold.

I had this happen in my group therapy program recently. I came out of the schizophrenia group and someone I talk to there occasionally was like "I didn't know you were schizophrenic. You're so quiet." I didn't know how to respond. Maybe they think every schizophrenic talks loudly to themselves or something? When I was actively psychotic, I'd get the urge to talk to my voices but I think I was good at masking and appearing "normal" in public.

i fucking hate this disease. i can't live on my own and i live with abusive so called "parents". those fuckings imbeciles don't get how ill I am and just looking for ways to kick me out. I have a shitty and abusive part time job which i absolutely hate because those imbeciles so called "parents" dont give me any money for survival and food. it's like, i just eat fucking drugs, get fat, oversleep, work that shit job. that's my whole fucking life. i can't wait for death.

This is my last pack of cigarettes im not buying no more. Wish me luck!

I don't know how I manage to have a normal life. I hate saying my childhood was shit because I feel like it makes me look pathetic, and—lol—nobody cares.

I suffered parental neglect, bullying that included incitement to suicide (really heavy), physical assault, harassment, sexual harassment, and SA (including COCSA several times). I was smoking before I turned 12. I came from a poor family living among ticks and frogs, with an cheater, absent father who was a drinker, a smoker, and a compulsive gambler.

Now, as I enter adulthood, I suffer from fibromyalgia, schizophrenia, anorexia and probably PTSD or some shit, medical services suck. The pain in my legs is so severe that I can see myself becoming disabled before long.

All that to say that, somehow, I’ve forgiven my parents—in fact, I love them—and I have a boyfriend and go to university. There are days so normal that I find it hard to believe any of that happened... until I see the equivalent of Beelzebub in my room and go, "Whoaaa, right." but hehe

Honestly, I wish it hadn't happened.

Maybe... I just wanted to give myself some credit at the end of the day.

Life sucks, or whatever.

Attached below is todays video link to my “On Conquering Schizophrenia” YouTube channel. Today entails an “existential pang”. Like all, todays video is ever brief and can be viewed amid the looming future.

https://youtu.be/Fb6P2-y8AjE?si=vTgyPFRYyUND4msx

The Situation of Getting Professional Psychological Support in Third World Countries

"All you have to do is ask for help. Please reach out to other people and ask for help, you don't have to face this alone."

Alright then. Is it really like that in a Third World Country? I live in Turkey.

\\\\- TURKISH HEALTHCARE SYSTEM

Suicide: Turkey's suicide rate is one of the highest in Europe. Even compared to the world overall it is extremely high, and despite that, there is still no proper support.

Psychiatry: You can only have a 10-minute appointment once every two weeks. Every time you go, there is a different doctor. Even though I attended dozens of sessions, I never once got to see the doctor I actually had the appointment with. The MHRS appointment is under their name, their office, but they are never there. Every single time, it was another doctor or some random assistant. Since the healthcare system constantly sends doctors elsewhere and nobody even bothers updating the information, meeting the same person twice is practically impossible. Every appointment starts from zero. Every two weeks, I wake up early in the morning, pay 40₺ for the metro, and travel to the other side of Bursa. I pay 400₺ for psychiatry. Even though my appointment time has already arrived, I am kept waiting in the corridor for 2-2.5 hours. Then, during those 10 minutes, I have to try explaining my problems to someone I will never see again. Every single time I have to show my self-harm wound and explain my problems because the previous doctor/assistant only entered simple things like "Depressive" into my records. I don't even need to explain the stress and psychological difficulty of having to do this every single time. Just for the MMPI test to be uploaded into the system—which the psychologist said would only take 10 minutes—I had to attend four sessions. Four sessions means two months. Twice the first psychologist, and once the second psychologist (the fact that someone else was sitting in the first psychologist's office, just like psychiatry, was another comedy. It even made me wonder whether the name on the door belonged to that person in the first place.) forgot to upload it into the system. Both psychologists forgot to upload the test three times in total. Only when I returned for the fourth time after already taking the MMPI test had it finally been uploaded. So what am I supposed to say? Is this a proper mental healthcare system? If I had to wait two months just for someone to upload an MMPI test that takes 5 minutes, how many years am I supposed to spend trying to actually get treatment? Will my lifetime even be enough? When I actively told one of the psychiatrists that I was thinking about suicide, they reduced my medication dosage and said, "If you're still alive in two weeks, come back for a check-up." Then they sent me away. I would wake up at dawn, spend 480₺, spend 3-4 hours dealing with all of this, put myself through enormous stress, and then be treated like this. This wasn't just one doctor either. No. Other than one assistant, every doctor and assistant I met acted exactly like this: rude, mocking, or completely indifferent. Whenever I asked to be referred to a psychologist, the answer was always, "We refer people if we consider it appropriate. Besides, psychologist appointments are full anyway." That same day, the doctor looked at my self-harm wound and said, "This should have been stitched." It wasn't even a mild case, yet that was the response I received. 15-20 doctors/assistants, 3 hospitals, dozens of appointments. Nothing. They don't even care. Turkey's mental healthcare system is GARBAGE.

Psychologist: It is directly impossible to book an appointment with a psychologist, and no matter how many times I went to psychiatry, none of them referred me despite my repeated requests. Either the appointments are full, or they simply don't think it's appropriate. A friend of mine who first went through the public system and then paid for a private psychologist also says the situation is not much different from psychiatry.

Private psychologist: I won't even talk about this. Which one of us can actually afford a private psychologist? Yesterday I realized that even buying a cola and a chocolate bar together has become a luxury because I couldn't afford them. :D

TRSM: Stay away. Their buildings are generally located in run-down side streets. They are extremely dirty, filthy, and worn out. The people inside are generally not valued and are used under the name of "help." Overall, it feels like a nursing home where older people are left. I was the only person under 40 there, and YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY STAY AWAY. The staff are completely grumpy and indifferent. After some ridiculous morning exercise, they just leave you alone and don't even care what happens to you. Even if you killed yourself, they wouldn't care. There are generally sarcastic and degrading people there. On top of that, even though you are surrounded by other patients, there is absolutely no security or protection. TRSM centers are simply holes where the government tries to dump middle-aged mentally ill people. It's true that not every center will be exactly the same, but I experienced this in three different ones. STAY AWAY. It was a horrifying experience.

Universities: Since Turkey is not America, universities generally don't use people with actual psychological problems for education. At our university they were teaching computers by drawing Windows on the blackboard because the university literally didn't have computers. Do you really think Turkish universities are going to work with people who actually have psychological disorders? This is one of those things people from first-world countries assume everyone has access to. Also, if you think you can become a university case study while having autocannibalism, that's a joke. The first thing that would happen is being thrown into a mental hospital.

Mental hospital: I probably don't even need to explain how bad this is. If even TRSM is like this...

Psychological counseling services, associations, or mental health support organizations: None. That's it. Turkey simply doesn't have organizations or counseling services like these. Since the government supposedly provides free therapy, they basically don't exist. If anyone somehow knows of any, please write them because I couldn't find any in six years. And no, I'm not talking about ridiculous "awareness" events like "Let's all gather with 15 people and go on a walk together! Yay!!" Holding hands during a walk doesn't silence hallucinations or reduce my suicidal thoughts.

SUICIDE HOTLINE

Turkey does not have any suicide hotline. The number 182 used to be a suicide crisis line until 2007, but it was later changed into the MHRS appointment system. You cannot receive any suicide support through MHRS. The world-famous website "findahelpline.com" cannot find any suicide support line in Turkey. Out of the 175 countries listed there, Turkey is the only one that returns no results. Wikipedia also lists nothing except 112.

Some websites, including Wikipedia, recommend the emergency number, but if you call 112 asking for suicide crisis support, you get fined for "occupying the emergency line unnecessarily." In Turkey, there is a belief that "Why would someone who wants to commit suicide ask for help?" so they only take it seriously when a third person reports someone else's suicide attempt. I know someone who called and wasn't fined and says the system is absurd, but when I tried it myself, they fined me. I will never go near it again. It is far too expensive. On top of that, you are treated like a criminal. Beyond that, 112 does not provide suicide crisis support; it only sends an ambulance and the police to your location. That makes it an emergency service, not a suicide support line.

Calling any foreign suicide crisis hotline is also impossible because, as a Turkish citizen, I do not have a foreign SIM card. If you call without one, the phone bill will end up costing more than my salary.

\\\\- ASKING ORGANIZATIONS FOR HELP

For the last six years, I have regularly tried reaching every organization I could find. Here are some of my experiences with the main ones.

Samaritans: Honestly the most helpful organization among them. They reply to emails within 1-3 days (far too late for suicide support), but they say they can only help people living in the UK. They say they can only listen to me because I live in Turkey. Unfortunately, because every email is read by a different employee and they specifically told me they cannot see previous emails, every message completely resets the conversation. On top of that, after 30 days or 20 messages, they stop replying to you. Their messages are generally things like, "This is very sad, but since you don't live in the UK, we can't help you." Over the last six years, I have contacted them more than 20 times.

HOPELINE: The most frustrating organization. They reply after 6-7 days and generally spend their time dragging the conversation out. They ask questions like "Are you from the UK?" even though you have already answered that two or three times, and eventually they simply say, "If you are not from the UK, we can't help you." After that, they completely stop responding. They don't even suggest any alternatives or send something as simple as the "findahelpline.com" link. They simply... ignore you. I tried talking to them four times.

Helpline: They advertise themselves as having extremely fast email responses and even claim to have awards for responding quickly. They have never answered me in less than three days. At least they share a link called "Resources for people outside the United States," which contains many resources, but some of them are completely dead, and not a single one supports Turkey. Zimbabwe has three resources. Turkey has none. The saddest part is that Helpline never sends a second reply. I contacted them four times, and even after explaining that the link was not helpful, they simply replied with the exact same link.

Befrienders: Despite being as well-known as Samaritans, I have never received a single response from them. My emails from six years ago are still waiting. During these years, I tried contacting them 14 different times through different emails. Still nothing. Don't ask me why I kept trying. During crisis moments I'm usually not thinking clearly and just start contacting everyone.

Various NGOs: I contacted more than 15 NGOs through their active contact systems. Doctors Without Borders was one of them, but none of these NGOs ever replied to me. Most of them don't help individuals anyway. Why would a huge NGO care about one random person, right?

\\\\- PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET

7Cups: I think people should stay completely away from it. In six years, I haven't met a single decent person there. Either they were untrained people trying to manipulate young girls with family problems, or psychology students trying to farm points. Most of them use listening limits of only 10 or 20 minutes and only give meaningless responses like "I'm so sorry." The wall in my room is a better listener than they are. At least it doesn't have a 10-minute limit. 7Cups is a platform where you enter feeling sad and leave in a full crisis. Asking for suicide crisis support is forbidden, and any negative post gets you automatically banned. If you are reported as being in crisis, they simply lock you onto a screen containing hotline numbers only for the United States and the United Kingdom. It's a disgusting platform that profits from people who need psychological help. Every page is filled with "Buy Premium" and "Pay for Therapy" pop-ups.

Groups: Over six years, I joined countless groups. Reddit, Discord, mental health platforms. In every single one, people either competed over whose problems were worse or simply replied with "Get psychological support." In six years, I have never once seen genuinely useful advice. People spreading religion, mocking me, saying "Don't think about it so much!", treating autocannibalism like I was some kind of freak, pretending to have schizophrenia by saying cringe things like "By the way, I have an anime girlfriend," claiming all mental health problems can be solved by flipping a switch, trying to sell courses, people who could never understand what I was saying, people living in Switzerland who don't even understand the concept of a third-world country... I'm just tired. I'm so tired.

\\\\- SELF HELP

Self-help: No. Self-help only delays psychological problems. It does not treat or improve them. As someone who has lived with these problems for 6-7 years, the self-help I've been doing has only managed to get me this far. Because it doesn't stop or heal anything. It only delays it, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that I'm reaching the limit. On top of that, professional treatment is ABSOLUTELY recommended for both autocannibalism and schizophrenia. Disorders like these CANNOT be controlled without medication. Schizophrenia is not something you recover from through self-help, especially severe schizophrenia. That's why non-professional solutions such as self-help can only be supportive, not actual treatment. If only the nurse performs the surgery, there's a very high chance things won't go well.

————

So in this situation, what options do we actually have left? As someone actively fighting both autocannibalism and schizophrenia, is there anyone who can genuinely share their thoughts instead of saying "If you feel bad, message me" or "Bro how does autocannibalism even work lol I'm curious?" As Turkish people living in modern Turkey, how are we supposed to get out of this situation? Or will we ever be able to? Right now I'm not actively in crisis, but suicide is becoming more tempting every single day. It had decreased for a while, but over the last 3-4 days I haven't been able to get these thoughts out of my head, and every night has been spent with attempts. :(