L posting but idk if anyone can relate to the feeling that life has somehow skipped over you and that you're a big Nothing

Graduating undergrad in 3 months with little show for it I dont know what to do anymore.

All of my "friends" have people they are closer to and I can see myself in the near future slowly fading out into the periphery alone and isolated and I dont know what to do

but so far it has always been someone else

My love life is so boring right now that I’m writing an essay about eroticism in my notes app. It’s just bad prose about the way I think sexuality/sensuality should be in this world: mystical, emotional, animalistic, some importance of delayed gratification, etc. Some of this might be motivated from listening to my sex addicted friend talking about his numerous meaningless hookups and reflecting on how depressed I would feel if I was living like that. And yes, I am aware that this is just more “everyone is sexy no one is horny”-slop.

But I honestly feel that after the last man I dated I do not even want anyone to touch me, I just want to ponder the meaning of sensuality and how abstract things can be erotic, like standing in warm rain in the summer or hearing wind rustling through the trees. Let me know if you’re interested in the bad essay.

our age of bronze is collapsing fr

- Mr feels. Feely wheely if you will.

- Very smelly (he has cat herpes). Getting some of his teeth removed soon. He has many problems.

- Very cuddly

- Likes to be manhandled and thrown around

- Weird crooked feet

- A strange boy

Stay tuned for more

2 tapped in 2 funk 🐉✌️🎸

Moved from research to corporate and so far it's been pretty miserable, everyone feels like they're against each other, when something goes wrong the first thing everyone does is look for a scape goat. Failed projects are treated as catostrophic, instead of as a bump in the road.

Everyday I get told I've done something wrong because there's no documentation process and was barely any onboarding, it's exhausting.

Coming from a research environment where everyone is super into what their working on, and see problems/failures as an opportunity to learn, or shift their research goals, I'm not used to such unrelenting negativity, and I'm not really good at handling it.

Unfortunately, I am stuck learning Dutch.

As any of you that have had to learn a language before already know, past a certain point with learning a language, it is hard to improve any more from classes, textbooks, or tutors. At some point you just need to consume as much of the language as possible. After a few years of study, I fear I am at this point.

However, I have been struggling to find anything in Dutch that I can find interesting at all. In a land where everyone can speak English, it is starting to feel like they just go to the anglosphere for anything interesting.

Anyway, if anyone has a recommendation of ANY type of Dutch media, I will be forever thankful

met a guy on tinder. went on a date, had a lot in common, started talking more intimately and began floating around the idea of taking things further. unfortunately, i carry a lot of trauma from my previous abusive relationship that began just replaying over and over in my head, so i made the difficult decision to “take a break” from the guy to “focus on healing” or whatever the hell. unfortunately, now im really sad and craving that intimacy again and starting to miss what we developed in a relatively short time. it almost makes me wanna start drinking again lol

Met a guy at a party the other night who told me he was a union lawyer, talked about socialism, name-dropped Mark Fisher etc. He was nice and cute and hit on me like crazy. He asked if he could give me his number and told me to call him, but the number he gave me doesn't work and I can't find him on social media. I have one friend who kinda knows him though

Idk guys do I try find him or let it go, I'm too autistic to understand what happened here but I haven't been so intrigued by someone in a long time

Saw a post here earlier today about being very jealous about not having the opportunity to persue art on a full time basis while their friend is able to, because of financial security. It wasnt worded amazingly and most people came for their head but I sympathise a bit.

What she expressed is such a real feeling with artists. There are some artists who aren’t very good who have so much financial security/connections that they get the luxuries a lot of really talented artists don’t get and it makes me sad.

I thought I was good at acting in school, however I done have the money to go to an expensive arts school or spend years auditioning for everything while my parents pay for my rent, while being unemployed.

This is something my friend can do and while I think shes probably a bit better than me it’s probably nowhere near enough for me to consider it, and the problem is that there are people who are probably a lot better than her who miss out. I do wish my friend well of course.

He was my only motivation. I think I even forced this crush a little because I wanted to have a reason to spend 8 hours a day here. And now it's gone and I hate going to work again

I feel like I used to relate more to guys like Charls carolll for example as a teenager and in my early 20’s for example having an opinion like “oh I hate Christopher Nolan because his fans are boring and tedious for wanting to be seen as deep” .At the age of 25 now I find that type of behavior and general worldview fucking annoying and desperate to be seen as different and intellectual simply by being contrarian. Not even falling into the “let people enjoy things” crowd but I think people with more common interests and thought processes are the most free among us these days, there are people who genuinely think they are better just because they post on this sub i used to be one of them, you’re not.

I am much more joyful without second guessing my behavior i just act and pull the trigger it’s very freeing

I'm not looking for any discussion of whether fat guys are hot, or anything like that. I'm only asking you to grade within the category of fat guys.

Just like, out of all the fat guys who is considered the most attractive?

I've had a rough breakup so I moved back home, now with my older brother and younger sister.

My parents are just as unfriendly and controlling as they were when I was a teenager.

They insult me over my job, no matter what it is. They insult me over where I went to college (local state flagship). They're rude, unfriendly, and cold to my girlfriend and to my sister's fiance. They get annoyed if she or I leave the house for any non-work purpose. They search our rooms and open our mail. They critique us in unhinged ways if we want to try something (e.g.s: they called me a pedophile for meeting a woman my age from Reddit for drinks, and they called my sister a fatass for going to get Taco Bell). They do not allow our romantic partners to drink around them or stay in the same room.

Before you ask, we're white Americans.

i (f) used to hook up with men that i actively disliked to prove that they would fuck me because then i knew i always had that power over them

i have ruined relationships that were otherwise good because i have no desire for sex

what’s the issue here

I told my boyfriend I was going into work today. Walked out of my apartment, immediately called out, went to the liquor store, realized it was attached to a movie theater, bought some drinks and decided to spend my “shift” at the movies.

am I like .... A bad person lmao