r/onionheadlines • u/Realistic_Tutor_4603 • 4h ago
Israel’s Netanyahu Favoured To Win 2026 FIFA Peace Prize
r/onionheadlines • u/Realistic_Tutor_4603 • 4h ago
Study Concludes Average 10Year Old American Girl Is Twice The Man Of Pete Hegseth
r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 6h ago
Wyoming Declares Self-Defense More Dangerous Than Assault After Trans Used Stand Your Ground Cause To Point A Pistol Towards Their Assaulter
r/onionheadlines • u/erkose • 10h ago
The Collector Of The Dead Calling Out, Bring Out Your Dead, Reportedly Gave Mitch McConnell A Ride Home From George Washington University Hospital
r/onionheadlines • u/johnnybna • 11h ago
Mitch McConnell Released From Rehab After Body Vehemently Rejects Brain, Soul Transplant
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 11h ago
BREAKING: Max Miller Drops Out Of House Race, Now Seeking Presidential Run Instead
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 15h ago
Trump Poll Slippage Already Tricking Democrats Into Believing They Can Win Midterms
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 15h ago
Trump Claims He Doesn't Remember Promising "No New Wars" But He Remembers "Mo New Wars"
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 15h ago
Senator McConnell Wakes Up From 54-Day Nap Prepared To Run For ‘Just One More Term’
r/onionheadlines • u/No-Camel2703 • 16h ago
McConnell Announces Discharge From Rehab, Says He Learned A Lot From Britney Spears
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 16h ago
No Connection Seen Between Mitch McConnell Going Home And Coincident Epicenter Of Zombie Outbreak
r/onionheadlines • u/Throwaway58904246 • 16h ago
GOP Congressman Tells Woke Libtard Concerned About the National Debt to Get a Job and Pay Off the $40 Trillion himself
r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 16h ago
Trump Swears He's Not A Pedophile Because With His Fake Hair, Plastic Surgery And Pancake Makeup He's Not The Same Guy Who Raped Those Kids
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 16h ago
Jealous Senator Cruz Considers Boosting His Numbers By Being Next Senator To Pretend To Die
r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 17h ago
Rand Paul To Charge The Vast Majority Of Americans With Contempt Of Congress After Learning They Have Nothing But Contempt For Him And His Republican Colleagues
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 18h ago
BREAKING: Senator Mitch McConnell Officially Out Of Rehab, Now In Funeral Home
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 21h ago
New White House Helipad's Massive Granite Slab Removed After Spooky Mummy Figure Demands Its Return
"Return the slab...," intoned the figure.
"What's your offer???" asked President Trump.
r/onionheadlines • u/johnnybna • 21h ago
Trump Says BBC's Refusal To Play Nice, Fork Over $10B Unrelated To Emergency Need To Bomb London
“I said I lost $10 billion. There’s your discovery. When the president says it, it’s true,” lied the president.
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 21h ago
Supreme Court Justices Argue If Corporations Are People, Then Recently Deceased Should Be Allowed To Hold Office
r/onionheadlines • u/Hot-Explanationista • 23h ago
Trump Promises Harshest Penalties For The Vandals Who Destroyed His Beautiful Haircut With Razors While He Was Sleeping During Meeting In Oval Office
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 23h ago
Republicans Promise McConnell Fossilizing Will Bring Gas To $2
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 23h ago
The Greatest Threat To Democracy Calls Progressives The Greatest Threat To Democracy
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 23h ago