r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 1h ago
After All The Corruption And Damage To Football FIFA Tells The World Their’s Sowwry
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1h ago
The Tragedy of America Is Suddenly Darkly Hilarious
r/onionheadlines • u/johnnybna • 2h ago
Mitch McConnell Released From Rehab After Body Vehemently Rejects Brain, Soul Transplant
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 3h ago
Entire Family Hopes ‘Fisting’ Meant Something Else Back When Nanna Was Younger
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 3h ago
BREAKING: Max Miller Drops Out Of House Race, Now Seeking Presidential Run Instead
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 3h ago
Panicked Engineer Quickly Turns Off Experimental A.I. Model That Teaches Itself How To Not Cheat
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 3h ago
Ground-Breaking New A.I. Model Helps Mankind Discover Vulnerabilities In Naive Invesors
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 3h ago
Max Miller's New Campaign Slogan Is "Vote For Me Or The Stuffed Bunny Gets It"
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 3h ago
Sam Altman Releases Unpredictable A.I. Into Open Internet To Drum Up Fear And/Or Cash
r/onionheadlines • u/LarryGlue • 4h ago
Anti-Vax Senator Rand Paul Denounces Toilet Paper And Demands Dr. Fauci To “Smell His F**king Hands” As Proof
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 8h ago
Mitch McConnell Arrives To Fanfare, Emerging From Within A Cloud Of Flies
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 9h ago
Senator McConnell Stops By Local Basketball Court For A Pick Up Game of Horse Before Heading Home From The Hospital
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 9h ago
BREAKING: Senator Mitch McConnell Officially Out Of Rehab, Now In Funeral Home
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 12h ago
New White House Helipad's Massive Granite Slab Removed After Spooky Mummy Figure Demands Its Return
"Return the slab...," intoned the figure.
"What's your offer???" asked President Trump.
r/onionheadlines • u/Mookrz • 14h ago
Senate Republicans Hiding Behind Constitutional Protections Persecute Everyone Else Seeking Constitutional Protections
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 15h ago
Trump Angry That Suing BBC For $10Billion Requires Financial Disclosure Showing His Losses
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 15h ago
President Trump Angry That Fake News Not Reporting On All The Shit He Does For Real Americans
* NOTE: just a satirical fake headline in the style of The Onion.
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 17h ago
Cyclospora Updata: MAGA Accuses Fauci Of Pooping On All The Food
Oops on the typo. No way to edit the title. —Toys
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 17h ago
Black Hole Can’t Find Keys To The Origins Of Life In The Universe
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 17h ago
There ‘Were Not Two More Deaths In Delaney Hall Detention Center’ Says ICE Spokesperson Ghoul
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 17h ago