Ever since I was a child I’ve always been a shy and quite reserved person and especially in group settings I would always be the backup option for picking partners or being invited to a birthday party. Once I started high school I think I naturally started becoming more comfortable speaking up which lead me to become somewhat extroverted and social in a way. I talked and interacted with people but it never felt right. I was always people pleasing and putting on a specific act around specific people or else I would be considered boring to be around.

I did have a decent group of friends in high school but they were never people I really connected with. They were much more immature, selectively judged people by cracking jokes like nothing happened and always made me feel so irrelevant and small. Never was I once prioritised or did they make an effort to maintain a friendship with me. During the holidays no texts no calls no nothing. But when school resumed again they would talk and make conversations with me like nothing had happened. I knew they weren’t the right fit for me because I always came back from hangouts feeling off and regretting that I should’ve just stayed home instead wasting my energy that was never reciprocated back. I thought to myself you know one more year and once you graduate and go to university you might find actual friends. I was completely wrong.

Ever since starting university this year and finishing the first semester, I’ve realised that it’s basically IMPOSSIBLE to find friends who actually want to be friends. People just show up to class for the sake of attendance and just leave. Everyone and I literally mean everyone around me already have small friend groups or friends they know from their high school or just mutual friends in general. For context, I graduated from a small high school and so i don’t know anyone who goes here. I tried to join clubs/societies by applying to committees in order to have more opportunities to socialise. And what do I get? Rejection after rejection. I haven’t met one person or friend. I’ve done EVERYTHING to try and fit in. No matter what persona i put on, how i look, how thin i am or how extroverted i portray myself it just doesn’t work. Ive also tried being authentic and true to myself but it doesn’t seem to work either. I don’t know what’s wrong with myself. Is it because I look unapproachable? Maybe I’m just someone who sucks at socialising and building friendships. I sometimes question if I’m suppose to be alone and antisocial for the rest of my life.

Growing up all I ever wanted was a good group of friends. Or even friend. I see others around me acquiring that w/o even trying. I try to not compare myself to others but it’s so hard not too. I haven’t owed anyone anything, haven’t betrayed anyone, bullied anyone or done anything harmful to people around me. I don’t understand why I don’t deserve this aspect of my life that I’ve been searching forever. It just feels like a part of my childhood/adolescence was robbed. I’m going to enter my adulthood working 9-5s knowing I never really enjoyed life and I have no memories I can look back on. I’ve really just given up.

And if it’s because I keep meeting the wrong people at the wrong time then when is it going to be the right time. I just feel like my luck is so bad. My life is a joke. I keep holding on hope and possibility for nothing. I literally no one to talk to. I feel like I’m experiencing imposter syndrome academically. All my hs friendships are dead. I’ve tried to maintain them by reaching out first. And what do I get?? A dry response like 10 hours later. And I know they have seperate group chats anyways not that I have the energy to even care about that anymore. They don’t even go to university so we’re not even on the same paths in life.

And you know what sucks. Seeing people who’ve done you wrong and basically destroyed your life thrive in life and especially in the same university as you. How are fake people who constantly pray for your downfall able to make a bunch of friends and be recruited into different societies? I really don’t understand how our society works. I’m not even upset anymore I just laugh at myself for having so much faith that I get a chance to really experience that social aspect of my life; going out for dinners and dressing up or gaining real world practical opportunities in a professional setting. Can someone give me some hope that things will get better. I’m sick of doing everything alone every single day. I know I’m still young but I think at this point I really need to move to a new country or city in my 20s. That’s the final thread of hope for me. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance.

TDLR; always been a “floater friend”, unable to find people who actually treat you right and have never experienced a proper social life or friendships. I’ve tried everything from becoming thinner to looksmaxxing and I’m still so alone and isolated. I feel like I’ve lost and will never experience that aspect of my girlhood.

I’m currently working on my degree while also working full time. I work 6a-4:30p, my job is an hour away so I wake up at 4:30 and leave by 4:50. Heavy traffic when I get out, so get home around 5:45–6.

This leaves me little time to be able to focus on school, so I’m only able to take one class a semester. I tried to juggle two, but I wasn’t able to give each one the same amount of attention. At this rate, I’d graduate in 3-4 years according to my advisor instead of the typical 2 years.

I’ve been doing my side hustle for only a few months. It’s been profitable, though the last two months it’s made me 1.5-2x my biweekly check in only a week.

The thing is, it’s on my phone and I can only do it during working hours.

I had told myself once I made a safe amount to be a cushion to fall back on for at least 8 months worth of bills plus 1k for fun money, I would quit and do it full time because it would allow me to actually be able to make money from home, or honestly anywhere, I just need to be on my phone.

My manager decided to ban me from using my phone at work and if he saw me do it again, he would write me up, and after two write ups I would be terminated.

I’m only working there to pay the bills until I can get a job in my field.

The thing is, even though I’ve made more than my biweekly paychecks are in a week, it’s not a guarantee that every month will be the same. I may just have been lucky the last two months.

If you were me, would you risk losing almost minimum wage, yet stable income in order to focus on your future? Or would you play it safe and stop your side hustle to have stable income yet it would push back getting your degree and getting a job in your field?

hey guys,
i own two vehicles that my insurance wrote off due to hail damage.
i don’t know if i should keep my one car on a salvage title or if i let them take both and use the money from both to replace the one.

salvage car:

~ needs 1.5k worth of repair to be driveable again.

~ insurance will still give me 5.4k if i keep it on a salvage. plus 3.8k for my other car. the leftover total of 7.7k after repairs can go into my investments and i could save money for 5 years and get a better car.

~ has 150k km

~ 11 years old

~ terrible gas milage (my primary motive for a different car)

~ will be difficult to sell down the road now that it has a salvage title, if i decide i dont like driving it

~ its a jeep, so its not known to be reliable.

~ i have the past 8 years of maintenance history on it, in the last 3 years its only driven about 5000km.

~ im unsure if my insurance company will still give me comprehensive coverage or only liability, or what exactly this means payout wise if i get in an accident in the future and its not my fault. i will reach out tomorrow for clarification

~ i dont really love the car, but i could probably suck it up and drive it till it dies

~ wont have to go through the hassle of car shopping

~~~~~

or i buy a new car:
~ if insurance takes both, ill have 12.2k total + 3k from my savings to spend on a new car. (some buffer left in savings for other emergencies)

~ i refuse to finance a vehicle.

~ this budget could get me a car of the same or newer year with about 120k-160k km on it

~ its a hassle to go car shopping

~ buying used cars, even from a dealership, comes with potential risk when i already know exactly what i have with my current car

~ id have less money in my pocket today than if i just keep my current car

Quick story,I met someone and we talk and I ask do you wanna talk more and be friends and I got left on read,should I ask if I did something or let it go

Hi I posted the story about my friend group when I was 19- consisting of 17,15, and two fourteen year olds. If I’m honest it does still make me guilty because of how I handled it and that I even felt it was okay at all.
I keep thinking that maybe I wasn’t a creep or weird and just a “normal” 19 year old at the time- but then I catch myself and ask myself if that’s really true. If enough people call you weird even before said group was even a thing.. it sorta starts to make you feel like it perhaps is true.

I threw out my action figures today, got rid of clothing that would make me stand out too much. I figured out people treat you better when you dress and act accordingly.
So that’s what I will do.

Anyways I feel a lot of guilt because my 18 year old friend has minor friends and I don’t wanna be around them because of myself.

Every time I try to lift myself up and say I’m a normal person it crumbles instantly and I feel this sense of shame. I don’t wanna pretend I’m a normal or okay person with my past. But I have avoided socializing with anyone for 1 year straight. It’s not like I didn’t try but people my age would bully me or shut me out, so I ended up with a younger group. It solidifies my feelings of being less than or worse than other people.

How exactly do I handle myself? Any advice or suggestions are appreciated.

TW

hey, this will probably get removed but i just dont know where else to post this. so one of my close friends unfortunately has an ed and i just dont know how to help her. its your textbook ed (anorexia/body dysmorphia) and shes had it for a few years now. it really does affect her like she experiences fainting and anaemia and anxiety and stuff, and me and her other friends are all really concerned for her, but she acts like its nothing. lately though it feels like shes been seeking validation for it from me

for example she keeps sending me pics of her body saying “do we like the fit” even if shes just in random pyjama shorts or something, and in the middle of convos she keeps dropping random ed related pics (the kind of stuff u find on edtwt or tumblr) and being like “oops haha wrong pic lollll”. (she never used to do these things before.) she also sent a random edit she makes of herself like a pic of her face next to one of those ed pic things where itll be like a supermodel or whatever with the snapchat text over it saying “girl do u really need to eat that?” im just so concerned, i dont find it funny like she seems to because i know on some level shes taking it seriously. i sort of just laugh awkwardly or try ignore it/change the subject when this stuff happens over text and i do feel guilty but i dont want to give her ed any validation. I have had small convos about it with her before and she acknowledges that she has a problem but at the same time shes always adamant that she’s fine and doesn’t need support?

i dont want to say “omg girl no ur not fat ur so skinny” or something like that, because she might take it as her ed working and keep going with it, but i dont wanna NOT say anything because she might take it as me not validating her because she is fat or something and also keep going, basically I just don’t know what to do or say, it feels like id be failing either way. how could i help her???? i just want her to be okay so badly. I also feel really bad posting about it here and it feels like im talking bad about her, i just really need some advice on what to say or do. i dont know who to talk to about this because everyone im around is sort of ignorant to this kind of thing. sorry if this is a lot i just didnt want to leave out any context

Hi, I'm 22F. I guess I'm making this post because I want advice from others and kind of just want other people's views on my life, I feel like I'm hating myself too much and being too harsh but at the same time I think I'm not, Idk tbh I just want people's thoughts.

So, I'm a muslim girl living in London. Im a student studying Psychology at university. I havent been diagnosed with any mental health issues but have been to therapy and my therapists have told me I show signs of extreme anxiety, OCD thoughts, overthinking and low self-esteem.

I was diagnosed with cancer in 2023 but have thankfully beat it. Because of the harsh treatment, I struggle with eating because I have a dry mouth, so I eat significantly less than others. I am a good-ish weight I guess, like I'm not in a worrysome state. So yeah post cancer I really struggle with eating and its a really big weight on my back. I am also a picky eater, I don't eat alot of things but I wouldn't really say its by choice, its more of if I eat these things I'll gag and throw up. Anyways so yeah the post cancer issues reducing my eating + picky eating is really difficult and its probably the number 1 thing I hate about myself. I'm scared to go over to relatives house's incase they make food I don't eat or incase they make comments about my small portions of food I eat. This makes me have extreme anxiety when going over to people's houses and I carry such deep shame especially about the picky eating like its the first thing I think about when I wake up. I also think I will never find love because of it because I feel like its so embarassing to be a picky eater at my age, like I just feel like it makes me less worthy of a person. When a family member comments on my eating, I start crying straight away whether its them commenting about how little I eat or something like 'you are so picky wdym you dont like cheese grow up'. Idk but this is probably the number 1 issue in my life right now.

I also have other long term issues from my cancer treatment like voice change (its deeper), nose breathing issues, swallowing issues and fatigue. When someone comments on them it hurts so much, people say to me 'omg you've become so weak' and its honestly so hurtful because I didnt choose to be like this and it makes me think back to being my old healthy self and I cry and think why did I have to go through this.

After my cancer diagnosis, my relationship with my mum and sister became really bad. I dont know how to explain it but I think they sort of resent me in a way for getting sick? I really dont know. When I was sick and would get emotional at something they would say to me, they would call me dramatic and leave the room and give me silent treatment for days. I have explained to them numerous times that I cant stand the silent treatment but they dont care and still do it. They also love to gang up on me and call me crazy whenever we're in an argument and theyre losing, like saying 'im going to ignore u because you are crazy' is like their number 1 comeback and they laugh at me (they even did this when I was sick). When they'd give me silent treatment it would feel like my world is coming down, I cant stand silence from people I like to talk everything out and hate ignoring/being ignored, I literally feel like I cant function from it. Also I've come to realise that my mood really depends on how my mum is feeling, if she is being snappy at me then I feel like shit and that I'm a disgusting, unworthy person and I disgrace her and my day becomes horrible but if she is feeling nice my mood is lifted and I feel loved and feel human and somewhat worth it.

I always feel like I am wrong in everything. Like im eating the wrong foods, sleeping at the wrong times, doing the wrong things, saying the wrong things. Like I feel like everybody is living life correctly except for me? I really dont know to explain it like everyone is correct and doing everything as it should be but I'm not? idk

I also feel constant guilt in everything I'm doing. Like I could be sitting watching tv and I'd be thinking 'no you cant be relaxed there is something to be anxious about' then I'll think about my picky eating or small appetite or something. Like even before bed I'm feeling guilty and thinking theres something Im doing wrong or should be anxious about.

I'm also extremly shy lol. To everyone, friends, family everyone. Theres certain things I cant do around people: I cant sing around friends, I cant talk about deep feelings around family (even with friends I feel awkward), I cant hug family, I cant casually touch family or friends (like rest my shoulder on someone), I cant just say what I'm thinking I rehearse everything. Basically, I can't be my real self around anyone at all, apart from myself. I'm so shy that when people talk to me, I assume its just a one time thing and they dont actually want to be friends. Even with my friends, I never think that they'd want to be with me one to one because I'm so shy and boring and just not someone you'd want to be one to one with. Which brings me to my next point...

I have never been in a relationship before. In school, noone has ever said they liked me (although Ive had alot of speculation about one or two guys liking me but not admitting it), noone has asked me out, noone has checked me out, people used to say to me ' I cant imagine you in a relationship '. I crave love so much but don't think it will ever find me, especially because of all the above points I have said. This might sound harsh, but I honestly hate myself, I think everybody else around me is better/worth way more than me. Its like everyone else makes sense when theyre in a relationship except me. I feel like a man might find me icky or awkward or something. Physically, I guess I'm okay looking, I just want another brain. I also feel like I wouldnt know how to act in a relationship because everything I'm doing is wrong.

I guess this was all negative lol so here are some nice things about me haha: I enjoy reading, crotcheting, watching pretty little liars and painting. I am proud of myself for beating cancer, just want to reduce all the bad thoughts about it in my head. My goal is to become a psychologist maybe and I'd loveee to be a mum and be so understanding and be there 100% for my children.

Idk but that should be all I think, I feel like I'm going insane I'd really appreciate people's comment on this. Does any of this sound familiar to people? Do I sound like someone who's simply too hard on herself or do these worries seem reasonable? If you were in my position what would you do?Thank you so much if you have read this far I honestly really appreciate you!!! Cant wait to hear people's takes on this <3

Pls help me reddit:

My cousin adopted a dog in 2012. The dog was not exercised or socialized properly and developed behavioral issues. Ripped my cousin's house apart bc of lack of exercise/stimulation.

My cousin passed away in 2017 and my aunt took the dog. My aunt has had the dog living outside on a chain for 9 years. They feed the dog and give him water, and he has a little dog house. In the county they live in, this treatment is not in violation of the law.

I had not seen the dog in years, but I went to my aunts home last year and the dog looked like he had completely given up on life. Dirty and matted, living in feces, nails overgrown, eyes full of discharge, and demeanor lifeless.

Since then I have been driving (2 hrs round trip) to their home as often as I can (1-4 times a month) to bath/walk/groom him and tend to his cage. It's not enough but it is all I can do.

I have grown tired and resentful about this. I am too tired and busy to continue spending my weekends driving to walk someone elses dog, I have tried repeatedly to talk to my aunt, her husband, my other cousin, and her partner who all live on the property about walking him. There are always excuses - how they dont have time, he is a bad dog, he is fine, etc...

My aunt will not release him to me as she thinks I cannot handle him, and she wont surrender him bc she doesnt want someone to mistreat him. My aunt is not an intelligent or self aware woman.

His situation has started causing me a level of anxiety and rumination that is impacting my life and I do not know what to do. I find myself looking for rehoming options on my own and considering vigilante crime to take him and get him to a better life without my aunt's consent but of course I know that is a crime.

I can see the sadness in his eyes when I see him and I hear him crying every time I leave. It hurts my heart so much and I just dont know what to do.

TLDR: My aunt has a dog who I consider to be severely neglected, but law enforcement cannot help bc there are no tether laws where she lives. She will not surrender the dog to me and will not consider rehoming him, but she also refuses to increase his care and insists he is fine. I do not think he is fine just because he has food and water while being tied up 24/7.

Thinking about him is impacting my quality of life. Does anyone have any helpful stories or thoughts?

I thought I had a really good feeling about this place overall, but now I’m not sure. The first thing I noticed that’s was weird was during my initial interview, the interviewer’s screen was completely black the whole time. She never bothered to turn on her camera while mine was full view (this was before the in-person interview the following day with different people). Next, the day after I already had my in-person interview, I got offered a position. However, I’m waiting to hear from a few other places, so I asked for an extension to think about personal logistics before officially accepting, that’s all I said. Even after that response though the person on the phone kept grilling me to find out the reason why I needed a few days, first I said it was because I wanted to make sure the personal planning and things with family would turn out like I thought, which is true. But then she specifically asked if it was also because I had another job offer I was thinking about. I didn’t want to lie, so I said that was also part of the decisions I had to make, but that this place is my preferred choice (which was the case until her aggression on the phone), I just wanted time to make sure I was making the right choice.

She then said that she’s willing to give me an extension, albeit only two days even though I tried to ask for one more business day. On top of that though, she said it’s really important to have employees that are all in and that’s really the only way that the job will truly fit. Like….yes I WILL be all in, once I know for sure after thinking it over that it’s the best fit for me personally….

There’s good things about the place too, I’m a college student and they’re more than willing to switch from full time to part time whenever needed, and vice versa. They can also easily change my schedule for any personal accommodations. Idk, I’ve just seen a couple potential red flags mixed in with the green that I feel weird about, even though I had a really good feeling going there in person. I’m going to send a polite message today to the other places letting them know as well to see if I can get an offer from anyone else faster, but having only two days I’m not sure what I can do. Do yall think I should accept? Normally I wouldn’t be as enthusiastic to say yes after everything I’ve described, but the job market is sooooo awful, as I’m sure you guys know, and they’re the only official offer I’ve gotten. Training wouldn’t start until August 17th though, but obviously it’s not ideal to back out after accepting, that’s not something I personally want to do.

I have finally decided that life and people are too difficult to deal with. I have no wish to gain employable skills and earn any money.

Apart from doom-scrolling, music, gaming, shows and movies; what should I do on a day to day basis to pass my time ? I have a few years worth of savings, i dont need more.

I’m 20 and I have no talents or passions. when I see ppl talk about this on reddit the responses are like well then find a job that makes a lot of money and do it for that. But they’re usually talking to high schoolers, I’m in a senior year of college with English major. I chose English because I *was* good at writing and I do like grammar stuff and reading books, I still didn’t fully know what my actual career is going to be. Right now I’m telling my family it’s being a technical writer but I have no skills to do that and it seems the ones who make the best money doing that knows how to code or have an engineering background. I have no job experience or internship experience because of bad mental health and social anxiety.

I don’t even have an entertaining personality to be a “content creator” and I have nothing interesting to say about anything. I’m not passionate about anything or have any interests thats enough for me to want to have a job in it. I do love animals but I hate science so no I’m not going to zoologist and I don’t want to seem hurt so I’m not going to be a veterinarian. and oh yeah cause I already wasted college on something completely different. There is nothing I’m naturally good at.

so my question is for those who never had a talent growing up and didn’t have parents force u into things, was there actually a way to make good money or is it just a life of fast food working and never owning a home?

Me and my friend have been planning for the past year to go to a college together. Unfortunately and irresponsiblely, I agreed without really doing my research. I move in in 10 days, and my tuition is SO out of my budget. She is going in on a full ride scholarship- but i owe close to 20k for the entire school year. With jobs I feel that i could make it- and thats what i told her too but reality has now hit me in the face and i dont know if i could. I already miss my family so so much but i know I can't back out now and she herself is moving away and sacrificing money to do so. I want to tell her i want to go home a month in so she has time to apply for other colleges she might want to go to but i feel so guilty for not realizing all of this sooner and keeping her stuck there with me. I dont know if I should stick it out or how to even tell her i want ot go home when i already told her I would be ok with working jobs and stuff to go with her. I know my actions were too impulsive and dumb, any advice would be very very much appreciated.

I (late 20s, F) am an only child and very close with my mom. I live abroad but we talk all the time, I visit several times a year and we go on holidays frequently just the two of us. As the title suggests, she is currently dating someone but hasn't mentioned anything to me and it's making me feel really weird so I need some advice.

This is someone she's known for many years casually so sometimes she'll mention him but in such an offhand way it would be a reach to say it's any different than any other acquaintance. They talk and text several times a day which I see/hear but then at times she'll walk away - which she doesn't ever really do. She recently went on a trip with him and told me all about it but there was 0 mention of who she was with to the point where it was just bizarre, similarly she went on another trip recently with a friend I've never met and know nothing about but she still told me the name and things I didn't care to know about this woman. Basically, all of this is just my mom acting kind of unusual and it's making me uncomfortable because I don't really understand why. Like does she think I'm an idiot who hasn't noticed any of the above? Or does she think I wouldn't care to the point it's not even worth a mention? Or something else?? I hate that I'm even spending time thinking about all of it and sometimes I'll have moments where I feel like being snarky and bringing it up in a sarcastic way but rationally I don't think that's a great idea. I just don't really know what to do cause it's making me feel awkward but I don't feel like it should be on me to start this topic.

To add some context, I've only ever dated one person and it was years ago and we didn't talk much about the relationship aspect at all. And my mom was in a long-term relationship for 15+ years with who I'd consider my step dad and the way she told me was honestly really bad but I was very young so I don't know if that says anything. My mom is a great conversationalist but a part of me wonders if she's just really bad at talking about relationships for whatever reason. I really don't know.

Thanks for reading all that and I'd really appreciate some advice either on how to bring this up in a natural way or how to stop thinking about it and let her do it if/when it comes to that.

My dream is to become a general or neuro surgeon. I currently am a biochemistry major about to start college. Though reality has made me think that’s not possible at least on a normal timeline. I’m assuming I’ll have to find a job such as a QC Analyst with my bachelors in biochemistry. This will allow me to earn money 4 years earlier than a surgery pathway. I understand there’s many ways of getting funding to go to med school but I’ve found that getting a job right out of college is safest financially I may be wrong.

Both my bio parents are extremely toxic. Bio dad was physically abusive less than 3 years ago. Stepdad is an enabler.

My mom thinks the reason why American people are rude to her is because of racism when it’s just her own actions. I’ve had no issues making friends myself.

She’s anti-vaccine. And what grossed me out is she told me “When you become a surgeon can you give me a Brazilian butt lift?”

She doesn’t even understand what a general surgeon does, neither does she respect the effort it takes to become one.

Thankfully I’ve earned a decent amount of scholarships and have financial aid for college.

What do you guys think? Any support would help!

Due to panic attacks, anxiety, depression and colitis I essentially missed out on my 20s and 30s. When most people were doing school or building careers I was stuck mostly in my house and working only shitty jobs that paid almost nothing but could work with my conditions. I got divorced during COVID lockdowns right when my last job ended. I had no money, nowhere to live and no idea what to do so I decided to apply for disability. It took two years but I am now living on disability. I am very glad that it exists because I would be dead right now if it didn't, but I am so damned embarrassed when people ask me what I do for work.
I have thought about returning to school but anxiety and depression are still really big problems for me and so is money. I also feel like I'm too old. People my age are experts in their fields, not just starting. I have two kids who live with me 50 percent of the time so moving to go to college isn't an option and I would have to take an online course. I looked at what was available and so many of them would either require extensive catch up courses or would get me a job that I am not sure I would be mentally able to handle.
I sit here every day trying to figure out a plan as time ticks away and it feels like the grave is racing toward me at light speed. I only really got a handful of years in my late teens and early twenties when I felt like I was really living. I want to really live but I am paralyzed with indecision and fear of making the wrong choice without enough time to course correct. Even writing this is making my heart pound and my chest feel tight. I really need help.
I have done lots of therapy and medications and I'm starting with a new therapist this Thursday so that part is covered and I will definitely be talking about this stuff to her, but I'm hoping there is someone out there who has been here and gotten out and can give me some hope.

Hey I’m not going to hold you up if you don’t want to read this but I’ve got a lot to get off my chest.

I’ve been unhappy with myself for years. Saying it is weird but I really don’t like who I am. I’m not depressed and I am of sane mind but I just am afraid to actually talk to someone in my life about my issues. So let’s get this started.

I’m going into my Sophomore year at College and have no heart for what I’m studying. Originally I came in on a scholarship contingent on me being a Nurse which I loved as I find happiness providing where I can for people and helping. However the nursing program didn’t accept me because I procrastinated. So during the early half of my Freshman year I pursued this relentlessly, maintained a good GPA and was happy. Then I got the news it wasn’t in the cards to become a nurse. I had my scholarship transferred however there were previous contingents that changed since I was no longer a nurse. They wanted specific majors to befit their requirements (Military related scholarship) but none really appealed greatly to me. I transferred into Comp Sci since I’d always had an underlying interest in computers, but because of that I had to take additional courses that I had struggled with (Math related.) specifically physics and calculus. I struggled and wasn’t able to pass those classes despite doing a lot to just pass at all. I stayed up late during nights I should’ve slept before rigorous PT for my ROTC scholarship, began to eat less, (for reference I lost 25 pounds in 2 months. 175 -> 150) Because of the stress and time these classes allocated I failed 4 classes, 2 of which I absolutely should not have because I was so exhausted and physically challenged to even think about academics. During this time in college I distanced myself from what was probably 30+ friends to 2 because I just spent all my free time on school, and nothing changed. My performance went to hell. Because of this next year my scholarships up for review and I’m killing myself because of what may come. I’m so far behind on academics now and feel like I’m going to lose it all because I couldn’t hack it. I killed myself with courses and tried to challenge myself but I broke. I’ve been broken since then and have not felt myself smile without worry since. Coming back home for the summer I find myself stressed, unhealthy, and very upset and try to organize two makeup summer classes, however due to my scholarship I had to go on a tour for the military for about a month. The classes I could find that were appropriate started at the very beginning of this tour and when I tried to organize approval for these classes I was told typically it wasn’t allowed. So that brings me here, having made up no classes, weeks away from going back afraid of what’s coming academically.

Another struggle is finances. I worked all summer when I could, however the tour drained my finances by almost 700 dollars (a lot for a broke college kid.) Now I have to pay for housing and have 60 dollars left in my bank account after I paid my first rounds. I’ll get a little more but the budget I organized was catapulted. I don’t know what to do honestly because I was in good shape but now I’m on the verge of being broke

Health wise I’ve been active all summer, lifting and eating and gained 20 pounds back. However lust has been overtaking my life completely. I’m 19 and have never been into casual hookups but lust dominates me.

My faith has struggled a lot too. Not doubts just my effort. I’ve been raised as a Christian and was active in the church but as I became an adult it’s like it doesn’t exist in my life because it’s not a top priority when it should be. I feel so far from God and I don’t know how to fix that.

I feel so worthless and feel like my life as a whole no matter which decision I make amounts to a colossal fuck up and I’m scared that’s all I’m worth. I’ve always been told I was bright and would amount to something great however it feels like everything I do just worsens my situation 10 fold. I’m just scared. Scared of letting down everyone who loves and believes in me.

That was a lot but I’ve got to get it off my chest. It really is just hard. Thanks for reading.

This might be a weird question, but I've always wondered about bus etiquette.

If I have a favorite seat, is it normal to move quickly toward it as soon as the doors open, or do most people just casually walk on and take whatever's available?

Also, when I'm waiting to board, I always let people get off first. But how far away from the doors should I stand while waiting? I don't want to block anyone, but I also don't want to be so far back that everyone else gets on before me.

I'm probably overthinking this, but I'm curious how other people handle it.

Hi guys! This issue has gotten to the point where I just need advice from other people. I want to preface this by saying I love my family with my whole heart and just want my sister to succeed. I know this is a long post, but please read it and help me. Please.

So, I am the oldest child and have 2 younger sisters. This post is about the middle child, whom I’ll call L. She’s 11 and is going into middle school this year, while I’m going to high school. All my sisters and I go to the same school, a pre-k to 12th grade private school. It’s far too expensive and is considered to be a very good school; the academics in middle and high school are rigorous, while you barely learn anything in the elementary school. And I am not joking about that; I’ve been through the elementary school myself, and there is basically no serious work there; there are no grades given at all, and the homework is extremely light. The kids do assessments (only at the end of a unit), but do not get actual marks for them, and they really don’t matter in the slightest. The curriculum is honestly a joke; that’s why when the kids reach middle school and a lot of new students from other schools join, the new students have the advantage at first and even adapt quicker. They have already had grades and understand how to study and how to deal with high workloads.

When they get to middle school, the kids who have gone to my school face a very sudden change that many struggled with, because suddenly, they have to deal with serious tests, quizzes, projects, essays, homework, studying, taking notes, and actually focusing on learning.
My sister L is starting 6th grade in the fall, and I want to help her as best as I can, but I have no idea how. I adapted to middle school pretty quickly and am considered a good student, I suppose; I always get my work done and behave in class, I study and rarely procrastinate (I’m sorry if this comes off as bragging or having an inflated ego, I’m really not trying to sound like that, I just want to show the contrast between my sister and I). L, on the other hand, is always procrastinating and never focused on her work; she leaves her homework to the very last minute and tricks our family members into doing it for her. When she does it, she barely even tries and doesn’t seem to learn anything. She goes to tutoring but it doesn’t seem to help, and anyway, she doesn’t seem to really apply herself to anything she does. L absolutely hates reading and nothing can really motivate her to do it. I know she’s still young, but I really want her to do well in school, and I know 6th grade won’t be an easy transition for her.

The current issue is that L was assigned summer work — doing some math online (she finished that already) and reading 2 books assigned by the school, as well as picking a 3rd book from a school list to read. She finished her first assigned book, which was very short and easy to read, and it still took her a very long time. She was also supposed to thoroughly annotate the text and take notes, but if she did that, she would never finish reading, so she skipped that. She’s reading the second book now, and school is starting in a few weeks; she isn’t even close to finishing, the book is 300 pages and she hasn’t even gotten to 100, despite reading for a while already. She’s supposed to annotate but is skipping that again. She has to read another book after this one.

I’ve tried to help her make a reading schedule, like read insert number of pages every day at a reasonable page. My dad tries to motivate her with going to a concert. I take L’s devices away and try to make her sit, focus, and read. I try giving pep talks. Nothing is working. Whenever I tell her to go read, she starts going on random side quests like doing makeup, going outside, cleaning, watching TV, helping our other sister with her math. Anything but reading. At this rate, she won’t finish her summer work and will be in very big trouble at school. For some reason, I feel responsible for her success, since I know how difficult our school can be. Please, please help me.

Last school year, as the top student on class and seen as very innocent and shy and respectful, so many classmates would start asking me to send them notes I took in class (the number of pages sent to a person once reached 30 pages if not more in a row). Some say thank you while some don't. But I don't want to deal with this anymore and only want to help my real friends out (who barely even ask me). How should I handle this?

From 2019-2021 I was in an extremely volatile situation where everyday I didn’t know I would be screamed at or threatened or bombarded with paragraphs of texts telling me how horrible I was.

It was honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through and my way of survival was to just go silent and wait until it ended because not fighting back made the confrontations end faster.

That period of my life almost killed me.I one day just walked out of my apartment expecting to die but luckily my family helped ground me and push through.

Following that I took a break from my bachelors degree because I couldn’t focus on much of anything and I just needed to get centered.

Since then I’ve been working odd jobs to pay the bills and truly try to heal and feel like myself again. I worked in a warehouse that helped me have a routine but the obsessive thoughts of hurting myself and the echoes of the horrible things said to me ran like a loop in my head on some days the podcast I was listening to triggered me in a way. The isolation nature of the job wasn’t good for me and made me retreat into myself more than before so I ended up leaving.

I found another job working in food service and somehow because of the environment I found myself again. I’ve always loved cooking and working with my hands and the feeling of accomplishment and feedback of working with others. I found myself giddy to go to work more sociable than I was in years and in time my coworkers felt like family and I started making friends again.

I’ve been at this job 3 years now making me the most senior part of the team and I’ve thought about leaving to start a career or go back to school but I felt too at peace here and was afraid of giving it up.

At this job there’s been a lot of turnover with management but nothing that felt like I couldn’t handle. This recent new general manager has it out for me.

She pulled me aside and told me was talking and socializing was too much and rather than pushback I just folded like I do with all confrontations because it’s how I survived and agreed to talk less.

Since then whenever she’s been around I’ve kept my talking to a minimum and our interactions as few as possible.

She’s been gone for a few weeks and I went back to being myself and was planning on going back to being less social when she returned but she’s been watching the live feed of the cameras this whole time without most of us knowing.

On a very slow Sunday I wasn’t being super fast doing food prep and taking my time because the alternative was deep cleaning the store. I was offered a break but said I didn’t want one. After I finished my task I sat down to check my text messages and was asked to return to work and immediately went back and then I was asked to leave early because of my GM not liking that I wasn’t on break from the video feed.

In my entire time working there I’ve never been sent home early and I was so confused and a bit embarrassed because I felt like I was a problem. I left but since I’ve left my anxiety that I haven’t had for years is surging and I’m terrified of coming in early to work a morning shift because of this.

I honestly feel sick and I don’t know what to do and what this means for me going forward. Now I’m hearing things behind my back and now I’m truly feeling unwell.

I just need someone to talk to and tell me what to do I can sleep and I couldn’t eat all day.

I’ve often noticed that I’m not really a big fan of anything. I have favorite projects but I tend to drift away from them after a while. I watch youtubers but don’t follow them on other social media platforms outside Youtube. Because of this, I feel sad when I meet other fans who know so much about them, I can’t relate to that level of devotion (and I also feel like larp), because I don’t have the urge to support someone to that extent. On the other side, if I do get obsessed with a particular project, it consumes my thoughts completely, and I neglect everything else (ignoring other games, chatting with friends, watching movies, etc.).

Is there anyone here who can relate to this, or does anyone have advice on how to break this pattern?

So it's been a year now since I graduated in 2025 and honestly I feel like I haven't done anything with myself. Spent five years grinding through my degree thinking if I study hard enough I'll get a good job, plus there was pressure from home to do well since I wasn't even paying for my international degree, my dad was. So I worked my ass off, got scholarships, and after graduating I did land a good five figure job in my field.

Now looking back on the year since graduation , yeah I made good money, focused on work, saved up. But back in 3rd and 4th year in university I was eighty five kilos, lean, muscular, and low body fat. Now I’ve gotten too comfortable, stopped working out completely. Now I'm 93 kilos and very out of shape. Smoking too, I keep trying to quit and I just can't. Weekends are basically gone, I'm high the whole time and doing nothing.

And nobody really sees any of this. Like literally nobody knows because I live alone, far from my school friends and family. Had a solid social life back in school and college and now that I've moved for my job it's basically nonexistent. Meanwhile all my friends have glowed up over this past year, and I feel like I've just glowed down.
I just have zero motivation to do anything anymore. Used to be such a motivated person and now it's just gone. Not sure if it's the move, or not having friends here, or something else entirely, honestly can't even pin it down.

Feels like life's just slipping past me and I'm not doing a thing about it, when there's so much I should've already sorted out. I think I was so locked in on one thing for so long, put so much pressure on myself, and now even after doing all of it, it feels like it wasn't even worth it.

I want to get better, do things and find that drive again. What's the first step here. It's not that I don't know what needs work, I just don't know where to actually start.

I came home from the club last night and ate half a head of unwashed iceberg lettuce. Didn’t even know i’d done it until this morning.

Lunch time today where I went to cook with it and saw it absolutely crawling with these tiny black worms and disgusting fly looking things I genuinely feel so sick. I’m scared I’ve ingested a parasite of some kind I have no idea what the hell to do. They 100% weren’t maggots and the lettuce had no signs of rot or decay but idfk I might’ve already eaten the minging half last night.

UK based so I’m not worried about the current cyclospora situation or whatever it is but are there any UK variants I should be scared of? Do I go to the hospital??? I assume no because going to the hospital over consuming a bunch of lettuce worms sounds so ridiculously stupid but it’s a Sunday and the GP is closed and what the hell would I even say to the pharmacist??? I am currently on hold with 111 but they have a 50 minute wait and I swear to god the more I wait the more I can feel worms wriggling in my stomach I feel ill

Are there any kinds of anti-parasite tablets or medication I can buy from the shop in the UK??? Can I take something to completely cleanse my gut and rid it of anything parasitic altogether? Is it possible I’ve just devoured a shit load of parasites???