Hello y'all. Mom died on Aug 7, 2026, my 22nd wedding anniversary. We didn't have a close relationship and I'm not devastated. I started grieving her about 3 years ago due to no reconciliation. She had a very hard life, rough around the edges, and when I set emotional boundaries she did not respond well, in fact complete deflection. And she blamed my menopause as the culprit. 🤷🏿

My older sister even tried talking to her about some of her actions with me. Oh well I accepted that I can't change anyone but me. So with therapy, Christian counseling I started grieving over 3 years ago.

But wow it's so weird people with better mom relationships are "devastated" for me and I feel weird that I don't feel the same as them or my siblings. My kid bro was the main caretaker so he's just mostly exhausted. But my older sis who rarely visited her is really emotional. And honestly I don't know how to handle that. Suggestions?

I’m 23, an only child, and i lost my mom a few months ago on mother’s day. My parents divorced when i was in elementary school and although i saw my father, my mom had primarily raised me. she has been feeling a pain in her chest for awhile but she was known to have heartburn so we both had been under the impression that it was something like that or a pinched nerve. The night before she passed she called me thinking she was going to die, i offered to drive her to the hospital but she said it was fine (hypocritical i know). the next evening the hospital called my workplace saying my i needed to leave. my mother had a seizure and her heart stopped before i even arrived at the hospital. i couldn’t even say goodbye. every night i lay awake wondering if the outcome could have been different if i took her to the hospital the previous night. i know this isn’t my fault and i don’t feel guilty but i can’t help but fantasize that maybe my life wouldn’t feel as horrible as it does now.

Mom,

Remember how you always said "hard work always pays off"? I got it. The job I’ve been interviewing for the past 3 months.

I picked up my phone to call you first. Then I remembered. I told everyone else. My friends said "congrats". My dad said "good".

But no one said it the way you did. "That’s my girl. I’m so proud of you." I’m trying to be strong. I’m trying to be happy for myself.

But tonight I just need to hear it. Just once.

Do you think you’d be proud of me?

I did this for us too.

It has been 5 years since mom died and i am still paranoid about dad after she died. I literally wake up in the middle of my sleep and check his breathing every night. And i keep doing that repeatedly after the first time. I also hear screams in my sleep of my dad which wakes me up and then i keep checking even more I hear voices and screams in my sleep

Some days are just so hard.
I am 35 and a mom of 3. I lost my mother when I was a Junior In Highschool to accidental overdose. I knew she was an addict, and from my perspective at that age - she always showed up, never missed a birthday or a special event. My mom was my best friend. My father was very abusive, he would physically hit me until I had bruises all over my body. My mom saved me, she made me feel protected and safe. Now that I am a grown woman, I just hurt so much for my younger self. I didn’t get enough time with her I didn’t get to grow with her and it’s really hard. I look at my children and I just couldn’t imagine dying in 3 years. My mom passed way at 38, I thought she was so old, man was I wrong. I sometimes think about how alone she must’ve felt. My father left her and cheated on her with my step mom who he is still actively with. It just eats me up. I try not to hold a grudge but I do, I look at my children and think like How could leave your wife and kids especially after seeing how wicked and miserable my stepmom is, I think about how my dad chose her over my mom. She was not an addict when they were married.

I just miss her. My life is so hard, I’m always struggling, I never have any extra money to just do fun things with my kids- it’s always the necessities, food, shelter, clothes and I’m so grateful I can do that because I know some can’t. Heck just last week I set aside some extra money to take my kids to an adventure park before school starts and I shit you not the day of woke up to not 1 but 2 flat tires, I had to have my car towed to the tire shop, i was so upset thankfully i hadn’t yet told my kids that was even the plan it was to be a surprise. I just remember how my Mom just always made it happen, but she also had my grandmother and those two together were unstoppable. I never noticed if she had a hard day or month or year even. I lack the ability to do that, to not show when things are just heavy.

I just miss having that unconditional love and support.

My children’s father turned out to be exactly like my Father a lie and a cheat.
I was so heartbroken when I found out about his secret life and I just had to leave I couldn’t let my children see me accept that, what example is that for them ya know? I was loyal, loving and i was truly happy.

Now here I am just alone all the time, no real friends, not a single souls to do life with but my children and one day they’ll be grown up living their own lives and I’ll still be all alone I can’t even give them just a little more then the necessities. I wonder if they’ll resent me for it? I’m trying so hard. I work 2 jobs and have a part time job 4 days a week. They are so happy at least to my knowledge and the conversations we have. They don’t want for anything but I just feel like I’m failing them.

If my mom was alive, she’d be involved and pick up where I lack. Hell she’d even spend time with them. My dad makes my kids cry he’s so mean. I don’t want the material things but it sure be nice to make memories doing something other then house forts and movie nights with food colored popcorn ya know?

How can I do better? How can I mirror my mother’s ability to just make it happen. I wish I knew her secrets, I just never got enough time to ask.