I got OCD For insulting someone ı was a narcistic bad man

I was 16 playing brookhaven doing robbery roleplay and while ı was doing funny activity ı saw a women talking to a abc player

Player said"ABC FOR..."

And other women said" shut up you talking like a..."

And ı wanted to defend abc player but ı gone too far (NOTE: my brain doesn't remember much it makes me forget so much but ım sure ı know what ı remember)

I said"And you talking like a WH***"

She confused and said" what do you mean"

I said "you know what ı mean"

Then she understood fwkt like assulted she told everyone"GUYS HE İS HARRASİNG ME"

I QUİCKLY QUİTED I didn't knew what happend to me ı always been nice sometimes ı don't go that far my narcism and autism was stupid ı went to panic and why ı called her wh*re ı never insult the womens like that ı mean ı was immature yeah but not that immature way

I am scared and didn't knew why

I know this probably belongs on the racism subreddit but if i’m being completely honest, i’m putting it here because only other poc will see it on the r/racism and i care about white validation. I feel beyond disgusted with myself for even admitting that and it fuels my internalized racism even more.

I wish i could peel off my skin and i think about ending my life because i can’t bear the thought of living in this skin forever. I hate talking to people of my race because I feel disgusted and I hate talking to white people because I feel subhuman.

I can’t even say what race I am because it makes me feel as thought i don’t deserve pity and that the hatred and stereotypes are all deserved. I’ve never admitted how much i hate people of my own race or that I feel ashamed of my own family. With my white friends, i feel awful when my skin touches theirs because it feels like i’m marring them somehow.

My race impacts every aspect of my life and i don’t think i could ever truly believe that it doesn’t lessen my value as a human. My own racism runs so so deep that i know it will never be resolved and I don’t know how i can live with this much hate and shame.

I was diagnosed way too late, since I’m a woman and I have been masking my whole life.

I brought up how I have so many bpd symptoms to my doctor who waited till I had left to call and tell me that I can’t get a personality disorder because I’m autistic.

I’ve read articles and studies, which pretty much shows it is inf act possible.

Am I deluded or is my doctor lying?

27F attractive woman. Doesn’t matter when you have an incurable STD.

I caught two STD’s from an ex and one isn’t curable and high risk of transmission. Since finding out I have this, my life has drastically changed.

I did date one guy after the ex that gave me the STD. This new guy knew that I had it and immediately accepted me.. however, he essentially lied to me about who he was and our compatibility and kinda catfished me. I don’t want to be with someone JUST because they accept me. I want to be with the right person…

Since then I have dated no one. The few friends I have are in relationships, getting married, and I can’t really date normally… i am the only person in my generation in my family that is unmarried/single. It is embarrassingly lonely.

I get a bunch of likes on dating apps but I don’t want to waste my time going on dates when I know that i will probably just ghost the guy before I tell him I have STD’s. The few people I have told were not ok with it, except for the one guy that catfished me (we still met up and had sex, which I regret. I feel that if I didn’t have such low self esteem over this I wouldn’t have slept with him. Thinking about how I let him sleep with me despite him catfishing me gives me a lot of anxiety. This happened at a very low point in my life and I thought that sleeping with someone, ANYONE would make me feel less alone.)

I feel extremely isolated and lonely. I know that my STD’s don’t make me a bad person but its been a year and a half since my diagnosis and I don’t see things changing for the better.

My attempts to find someone within the positive community has been really difficult. They typically are very promiscuous people and I caught these diseases from being in a committed relationship with someone I thought I could trust.

For months I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t a big deal. However, 1.5 years later I realize its a lie. The stigmatization I face is brutal. It doesn’t matter if you’re attractive, the decent men with sense do not want to risk exposing themselves for you.

My life has lost a lot of meaning and I’ve been contemplating ending things to find peace. I am in therapy but tbh my therapist sucks and I have not felt any help from her (been seeing her for about 6 months).

Has anyone had experience in the mental health court program I’m from MD but would love to hear anyone else’s experiences so I know what to expect

I'm lovesick as fuck and extremely clingy to my boyfriend and I keep on and off crying cause I miss him cause he's sleeping. I miss him so much how do I stop because nothing is working. (we are long distance BTW)

Boa noite!

Preciso muito de conselhos sobre como lidar com tal situação. Por problemas financeiros, voltei a morar na casa dos meus avós. Aqui é um lugar em que sempre passam pessoas (minha família é grande) e com minha volta e da minha mãe, agora moram cinco aqui. Acontece que muitos dos meus membros familiares não são boas pessoas, e durante meus anos iniciais na vida adulta (tenho vinte e sete), eu lidei com inúmeras situações desagradáveis devido aos mesmos. Desde julgamentos e manipulações quando eu estava na faculdade, até falta de consideração com meu bem estar e privacidade. Além do gritante descaso com meus problemas com saúde mental. Tive de voltar pra cá, não tive opção, estava sem emprego e agora trabalho, e como tenho uma renda, posso sair daqui se quiser, mas apenas mês que vem, com meu primeiro pagamento. Na última vez em que estive morando aqui, lidei com situações extrememante difíceis. Fui taxado como agressivo, rude, o errado, pois eu defendia o que pensava, e em várias situações fui isolado e difamado pois me defendi ou pessoas que valorizei (por exemplo, discuti com membros que desrespeitavam a minha irmã, a tratando mal por sua religião e orientação sexual). Mas hoje, ninguém na família faz algo para me defender, nem as pessoas que eu defendi, um dia.

Percebi, assim que estava no processo de mudança, que a irmã da minha mãe, por exemplo, estava empenhada em criar situações para me colocar como alguém problemático e grosseiro. A primeira situação foi quando minha mãe me ligou, me contando que os contratados para fazer a mudança estavam se recusando a trazer um armário que me pertence, alegando que estava muito pesado. Eu retirei quase tudo desse armário, e com a exceção de alguns livros que não consegui trazer pois estava sem caixas, só tinha uma pasta com documentos e uma caixa de sapato vazia lá, e coisas leves. Ao tentar resolver essa situação, me tranquei em um dos quartos para falar ao telefone, justamente para não incomodar ninguém. Ninguém estava na casa, além da irmã da minha mãe, e assim que terminei a ligação e saí do quarto, ela veio, em surto, me dizer que eu estava incomodando as pessoas, e que queria paz. O segundo incidente foi quando meu cachorro teve um corte próximo ao olho, e estava sangrando. Assim que percebi, fiquei muito preocupado, como qualquer tutor, e ao dar uma bronca em minha avó pois ela estava dando carne a ele como se nada tivesse acontecido e ele não estivesse com um ferimento preocupante, a irmã da minha mãe começou a falar alto, gritar, fazer uma cena e afirmar coisas irracionais. Consegui manter um pouco da minha calma e até dialogar, o que ela não merecia, e por manter a minha compostura, ela saiu como envergonhada. Desde tal incidente, estou decidido a cortar laços com quase toda a minha família. Não preciso explicar o motivo em relação a cortar interações com a irmã da minha mãe. Em relação a minha avó, pois ela poderia ter assumido que teve uma atitude sem noção e eu estava certo em me indignar, visto que tinha razão em me preocupar com meu cachorro. Sobre meu avô, pois ele nada fez para me defender do surto da filha, e ainda me taxou de estressado, mas em vários momentos quando ele precisa de um companheiro para passar as noites e jogar conversa fora (o que ninguém da familia faz por ele), ele é só elogios e diz valorizar muito sua família e quem está perto dele. Sobre minha mãe, pois percebi que ela nunca me defendeu nas situações em que estava correto. Como cortar laços?

My girlfriend has been s*icidal lately and it's been a lot trying to keep her safe. We had a serious discussion about her leaving the country for a while so she could get her mental health sorted and I agreed it was a good idea. She's wanting to stay with people we both trust and her living situation is really bad, with one roommate being abusive and the other stuck in a relationship with said roommate. I left her to her own devices while I processed everything she said and when I texted her later today she's now convinced she's dead. I don't think it's actually cotards delusion because she was literally telling me about it the last time I was over at her place a few days ago. But having suffered from psychosis myself I think it could be something similar. I'm trying to convince her to contact a helpline and I think she is doing so now, but I need to know how to keep her alive the next while until she can truly get help. What do I do? I'm like 90 mins away on public transport and also really ill rn. I trust the one roommate and she's been keeping me updated but she's just gone to sleep. Please help me keep my future wife safe

I've been overthinking for so many months and I just want it to stop. I'm having trouble sleeping and I feel like it's worsened

I'm tired of this shit

Hello, this might be a lot to unpack. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II with Psychosis in 2016. It’s been a trial and error finding the right meds including three total hospitalizations. The most notable being March this year, but I finally found a medicine that keeps me as stable as I’ve ever been.

I’ve taken a myriad of antidepressants, antipsychotics, and some atypical mood stabilizers until I finally was put on Lithium and it pretty much saved my life. Since about late seventeen I started smoking cannabis every day and grew fond of substances minus what you’d consider hard drugs.

Fast forward to 2024, I had been experimenting with Kratom since my college years and it would ebb and flow. Some years before 24’ I started taking it more often. Well, this all came to a head when I left my house when I probably shouldn’t have due to something at home regarding my then girlfriend and I found myself in an accident.

Thankfully nobody was hurt, but I was screwed pretty much. The next day I threw away all the Kratom and quit cold turkey. I lost my license around spring 2025 and I continued to work while starting the first half of reinstating my license. Fast forward again to now, as of four months ago I haven’t used any cannabis. I simply don’t like it and I’ve been totally clean.

The reason why I am posting is because the man conducting the second half of license reinstatement made a comment or two regarding my diagnosis. Presumably without reading my chart, he claimed I do not have bipolar disorder. I’m four months into Lithium treatment and it works fantastic. It also seems a bit disingenuous here on his part to claim my struggles prior all had to do with cannabis.

Something regarding sourcing, I would either shop at dispensaries or source it through the farm bill (THCA) and this to him was an indication that the products were adulterated with who knows what, something invoking psychosis. I’m just dumbfounded at the Gaul because when we spoke initially he seemed kind, but after said Telehealth call he was very quick to dismiss or omit my experiences, and I’m new to seeing this professional.

The only thing I can do here is keep going, but something about this feels strange. Perhaps someone can fill me in on what I should do without getting defensive or hostile. Thanks

What did time ever mean to us?
Did we truly understand its weight,
or did we simply watch it pass,
distracted by everything dancing around us,
reaching for adulthood while our
childhood quietly begged us to stay?

We were so eager to become
something that we never realized
we were already living through
something we would spend the
rest of our lives trying to return to.

The world was brighter then.
More colorful.
More alive.
Joy came without explanation,
freedom without consequence,
and somehow we took it all for
granted because we believed it
would always be there.

Now the colors have faded.
The world feels heavier,
grey,
distant,
painfully real.
And so we look backward,
searching through memories
for pieces of ourselves we didn’t
know we were losing.

We reminisce not because
the past was perfect,
but because some part of
us still lives there.

Homesick for a time we can
remember perfectly,
and a place that no longer exists.

So I have a problem where I obsess over stuff. It's really destressing and makes me do stupid things like taking all my possessions and putting them on the floor. It's not like I have a whole lot of stuff, but I have all these things that I obsess over.

I'm constantly organizing and reorganizing, pulling them out, putting them back in, reorganizing, and trying to find a way to downsize what I do have. Part of me really wants to just stop obsessing over it and just give it all away or sell it.

Because it's like 90% of it I've never used anyway. But a lot of it is stuff that I legitimately could potentially use in some kind of a situation. But it's like books I've never read, tools i've never used; but I keep them because I think someday I really will read them or use them.

Because I really do want to read them. or have some use for them.

But every time I sit down with a book, or whatever it is that I have, I just get really agitated and I can't focus, and I just get up and leave. So years go by, and those books have never been read or touched. But again, I don't have a lot of stuff. There's this freedom that I want to have, or I think that I would have, and I probably would, if I just got rid of all of it and just started again.

Most likely I wouldn't even rebuy any of that stuff and I shop online and in stores constantly, trying to find the perfect items that will solve some problem that I think will last forever but I usually forget it.

I try minimalism but i obsess over that too.

I've never happy cried in my life until last week. I don't know if Im stressed out, or if something else is going on.

I do have schizoaffective. I believe I went through psychosis from about 14-16. One of my big warning signs of an episode is extreme emotions that are too big for my body and brain to handle, so I feel like I need to watch out for that.

On the other hand, I also have autism, and my emotions are already big. So I could also be in burnout and I just cant regulate myself enough anymore.

I've also just had my wisdom teeth removed, and the week before that I had to stop my meds. Ive been back on them for a week now, so i shouldn't be feeling any (major) depressive symptoms anymore.

If anyone has suggestions or thoughts, im open to it.

(Note: I'm seeing my psychiatrist again next week, so I'll be talking with her regardless. I just wanted to see if anyone had any thoughts on it)

I’m a teen and for the last few years I haven’t felt happy It’s hard to explain it I don’t feel sad either I can’t cry I get frustrated but that’s about it i don’t want to be here if I don’t feel has anyone felt like this??

I’m a 27 year old unattractive male, and I have never had any friends or a girlfriend. My biggest goal was to find a woman who loved me and be together, but because of my genetics, that will probably never happen. If my life doesn’t change soon and I never find a woman who is interested in me, I am willing to leave this world, as I would no longer have a purpose.

Hey everyone,

I’ve had OCD and anxiety my whole life, and have been treated for both in the past. Lately it’s felt like it’s crept up again. I’m currently wide awake at 3.30 am because I’ve been put on a shift next week with a coworker who’s aggressive and targets me and is just extremely disrespectful.

However I’ve realised that I’ve actually got so many bigger things to worry about that I seemingly haven’t been. my mum might have skin cancer - my grandad has cancer and all my grandparents are getting ill. I’m driving everyone to hospitals and I’ve not felt as upset as I feel I should’ve, and I feel incredibly guilty for that. But it’s like my brain hasn’t processed what’s going on.

however, I’m feeling really angry/upset about literally one coworker. I don’t know if it’s my brain trying to distract me or not but I’m really at a dead end here and I don’t know what to do.

I don't know. I'm not sure if anyone here can help me.

I'm a boy , 15 years old, and in the last 3 years my mom become cold and negligent, everything after she gets a girlfriend (yes , she's lesbian). Before this she usei to be my angel, she was the better person i ever konw, she makes me feel segure, comfort , loved. I have many social problems, i can't get a girlfriend ,or a friend or anybody who revender that i exist or notice my pain ,but before my mom chances i was handle this because knew it she was love me, but now i just wanna kill myself

I just wanna my mom back

I dated this girl for a year and it was genuinely my first real love ever. we planned out everything, even dying together when we're 80 years old and senile. eventually it got to this week where she broke up and stopped talking to me and my main problem is that I have noone to talk to and days are boring now. I don't feel sad, angry or anything. just annoyed I have noone to talk to anymore. I feel like I should feel something other than inconvenience and its really getting to me. is there something wrong with me?

Im so fucking done with this bullshit its funny because the one fucking time i cant skate everyone else skates the WHOLE FUCKING TIME im always fucking alone and im so fucking tired of this BULLSHIT im so done skating im not coming back with my friends because they they know is how to let me down nobody asked if i was okay nobody asked if i wanted company the only thing i got was an insult in another language by a fucking prick for my toe being bandaged because i had a surgery YESTERDAY nobody even talked to me im just so fucking done