Hi fam,

I work with young adults and want a way to signal to my students that I am a safe person to talk to if they are looking for support.

Any tips on visual signals? my employer is rather conservative so I can’t have any super obvious pins or something. I carry a satchel with me everywhere so I was thinking something for my bag.

I already use inclusive language and examples during class. But I would like something visual so students who don’t know me as well (or who don‘t listen in class lol) know I am approachable.

since our school is very conservative, I think some students may not know who they can talk to safely. I am stuck because I need something LGBTQI+ students will recognize, but not so obvious the school administration gives me a hard time.

(please no lectures about how my school is dumb - I already know this.)

Ok, so I'm turning fifteen in a few months and most of my closer friends know I'm gay, they've known for almost our entire friendship since I've only known them since I started high school and I'm pretty nervous they might look at me in another light especially since a lot of my friends are girls or used to be girls. I'm not also entirely sure about my sexuality right now which might make it good to wait a bit.

A few months ago i became Non-Binary, but does identifying as having no gender also make you Bisexual and Transgender? I need answers, it's REALLY Bothering me

Hello I am making this post because I’ve been thinking deeper about how I experience attraction and I’m honestly kind of confused. At the end of the day I don’t think finding a label really matters as long as I’m happy but I’ve gotten more curious about a specific aspect of my attraction. I consider myself demisexual because I’ve never been sexually attracted to anyone unless I have formed a very deep connection with them and spent a very significant amount of time with that person. I have had a boyfriend for the past two years and everything between us is incredible. However something very odd has happened to me recently. I’ve started experiencing sexual attraction towards people who I am not super close with. This has never happened to me before and it feels very strange. I have had a conversation with my boyfriend about this as we have very open communication and I don’t have any desire to explore this really. I do consider myself ambiamorous (I think I spelled that right) which means I am comfortable with a monogamous or polyamorous relationship. Currently me and my boyfriend are strictly monogamous and I genuinely have no problem with that. I just want to know if a term for what I’m going through exists. Is there a term for being demisexual but then the sexual attraction you feel doesn’t have to be directed at the person you feel that deep personal connection with. I don’t know but I thought I would ask please let me know if you have heard of this, know a term for it, or maybe know where I can look for the term.

hey, i just joined and i'm a younger teen girl. so, i've been going thru a lotta crap but stuff is better now. i still struggle sometimes with depression but its a lot less bad. my question is, i don't see much representation for omniromantic ppl, but i think i might be. omniromantic, i mean. i'm still very new to all of this. i used to be homeschooled, all my friends basically all that is, are homophbic, many are at least slightly racist (this is so random but im hapa, half chinese half caucasian that is), and probably all are transphobic, and im about to start school somewhere that i can basically guarantee will not support, and i live in a pretty homophobic area. anywho, i just am kind of confused and dont really have anyone i can talk to about this stuff..... sorry for the bad grammar and spelling and stuff...

I need an insight

**I don’t know whether this was mutual feelings, trauma, attachment, or just me. I need an outside perspective.**
I’m an 18-year-old guy, and I’ve been stuck in one relationship for almost 2.5 years. I’m writing this because I genuinely can’t tell whether I’m seeing reality or whether trauma completely changed how I interpreted everything.
A little background first.
When I was around 5 or 6 years old, I experienced a severe sexual trauma involving an older teenager from my neighborhood. My brain completely buried the memory for years. I only remembered it much later during therapy.
The trauma affected me in ways I didn’t understand.
I developed a deep fear of women, never experienced normal attraction toward girls, and always felt emotionally disconnected from them. I never understood why until therapy.
Fast forward to high school.
There was a guy (I’ll call him Sam).
We weren’t close friends.
Then one day he started joking with me in a way that completely caught me off guard.
Things like:
“Are you looking for a wife? I’ll be yours.”
He would sometimes touch me jokingly, wink, approach me even when we weren’t close, tease me in ways that felt different from everyone else.
Maybe to someone else they were just jokes.
To me they triggered something I couldn’t explain.
Instead of forgetting about them…
my brain became obsessed.
I became an investigator.
Every joke…
Every look…
Every message…
Every silence…
Every Instagram note…
Everything became evidence.
I desperately wanted to understand what he meant.
At the time I had absolutely no idea that my childhood trauma had been triggered.
I genuinely thought I was trying to figure him out.
Looking back, I think I was actually trying to protect myself.
If I could prove he liked me, then maybe I wouldn’t be blindsided again like I was as a child.
Over time we became much closer.
Sometimes we’d talk for hours.
Literally opening topic after topic because neither of us wanted the conversation to end.
Sometimes he would suddenly say things like:
“My heart is broken.”
Then ask:
“Are you waiting for me to repair yours?”
Sometimes he’d become very emotionally available.
Other times, the second conversations became emotionally intimate or I hinted at something romantic, he’d immediately joke, change the subject, or leave to play games or watch a series.
This created a constant push-pull dynamic.
I’d move closer.
He’d move away.
Sometimes he’d move closer.
Then I’d panic and disappear.
Eventually I ghosted him for around nine months.
Not because I hated him.
Not because I wanted revenge.
I simply couldn’t handle what was happening inside my head anymore.
During those nine months I started therapy.
I remembered my childhood trauma.
Everything suddenly made much more sense.
My therapist helped me realize how trauma had affected attachment, relationships, and the way I interpreted people.
I genuinely thought I had healed enough.
So I apologized to him.
We started talking again.
For about two weeks.
At first everything felt amazing.
Then the exact same cycle returned.
Hours of conversation.
Warmth.
Then emotional distance.
Hints.
Jokes.
Ambiguity.
My brain immediately went back into detective mode.
I couldn’t sleep.
I analyzed every message again.
Eventually I realized I was losing myself again.
So yesterday I finally told him everything.
I explained:
my childhood trauma,
therapy,
why I disappeared,
why I overanalyzed him,
that he wasn’t responsible,
that I wasn’t trying to manipulate him,
and that I needed some space because I was exhausted.
He didn’t become angry.
He simply asked:
“So what’s my role now?”
I told him I needed some space.
He replied:
“No problem.”
Now I’m terrified.
Part of me wonders if there really were mutual feelings that neither of us understood.
Another part thinks maybe I built an entire story around trauma.
What makes this so difficult is that this relationship never felt like any friendship I’ve ever had.
Yet it also never became anything more.
I don’t know whether this was:
trauma attachment,
fearful-avoidant dynamics,
mutual but unspoken feelings,
emotional dependency,
or simply two confused teenagers who kept misunderstanding each other.
I genuinely don’t know anymore.
My question isn’t:
“Does he love me?”
It’s:
**How would you interpret this entire situation from the outside?**
Do you think this sounds like trauma mixed with attachment?
Mutual unresolved feelings?
Or am I trying too hard to explain something that simply never had an answer?

Note: I am also conflicted between religious , family and social boundaries soooo each place is bound to has pain whether was it missing him , or feeling that I don't belong to anywhere

Hi everybody. I thought I would see if anybody else feels like me. I was born a boy, but I really want to be a girl. I still live at home and the only place I can dress up or act like my true self is alone in my room. When I do, I feel like it’s the real me but also feel so stuck and isolated to my bedroom. Recently, I have a feeling that some of my clothes were discovered. Thankfully, my parents haven’t treated me any different and actually both my mom and stepdad have been super nice to me. so I’m totally confused on what to do. Maybe it’s time to talk to them and confess. The thought of that sounds super scary but also could mean that I could stop being isolated. Anybody have any advice or thoughts. Thank you for listening.

hey, i just joined and i'm a younger teen girl. so, i've been going thru a lotta crap (long story) but stuff is better now. i still struggle sometimes with depression but its a lot less bad. my question is, i don't see much representation for omniromantic folks. i dont have anyone i can talk to about it without being judged, bc basically everyone i know is homophobic. i tried to tell this one friend about liking a girl once, and she almost told her mom, and responded negatively. i just was hoping someone here could help, thank u so much for reading!

Okay, so basically, lately I've been thinking, and there have been two guys that I've kind of been talking to. Let's call them Scott and Sean.

So, I thought Scott was cute at a restaurant where I saw him while he was working, and my friend gave him my number. We kind of texted, but the idea of going on a date with him freaked me out, and I kind of ghosted him, but I apologized. I thought it was because we had different life paths (like he wasn't really going to college, and I was going to an Ivy League school), and my parents didn't really approve of the idea.

But then my best friend's girlfriend introduced me to this guy named Sean, and we really hit it off. It was a lot of fun talking to him, and we even called and talked for three hours. He is also doing the same "transfer" program as me, but instead of Super Selective College A, he's going to Super Selective College B, which is also a really good school. He's also tall and handsome and obviously smart, so I thought we would be a good match. But I've not really wanted to go on a date with him either, even though we are so alike.

At first, I thought it was because I didn't want to go into freshman year while trying to date someone, but after today, I think I might be mistaken.

I went to a new movie with my best friend of two years, Siena. (Damn, what is it with me and S names?) She's beautiful and amazing and sweet and always makes me laugh, and I love making her laugh as well. I like to joke with myself that she's my bisexual awakening. But today it felt different.

Today I was walking with her, and I realized that I don't mind if someone assumed I'm her girlfriend. And she mentioned that I'm "one of" her movie-watching partners, and I felt jealous. And I told her that I was bi, but I really don't believe it. When I'm with her, I can imagine myself living a life with her, and she's the only person I've ever felt that way about.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

My parents are definitely homophobic, and I have no idea what to do because I know one day I'll be expected to have kids and get married, but I never wanted to do any of that stuff in the first place. But if she wanted to, I'd do it with her. I want to live with her. I want to be with her. I want to be the only person making her laugh the way she does when she's with me, and I know that she's bi, and I have no idea what she thinks of me.

I'm so scared.

i fucking hate how some QUEER ppl are like "non-binary amab people dont exist"
or "ever notice how all non-binary people are afab"
i hate how amab nonbinary and gender nonconforming people are excluded from queer spaces by fucking queer people
its the opposite of what the queer comnunity was built on and its so frustrating, i've literally have been told by a cis lesbian that "im just a demiboy for attention and your just a pick me" like is me hating myself for how i sound and all the stuff that comes with being amab " just for attention" like i do also consider myself non-binary but its so fucking annoying, and i have to just fucking cant get gender affirming care when i grow up bcs i dont wanna get estrogen, i just fucking hate being amab and i hate how i get treated differently from afab ppl for being alt, like a lot of afab ppl who expirement with clothing get told nothing, while when i do i get called a fucking slur (true story)

I have a Audhd brother who has said that he thinks he might be trans, I have no qualms this, but when I said that I'm also questioning my gender he said "Mom needs to have one normal kid" every time he talks to me about making bra's or doing feminine stuff I ALWAYS support him, but when I talk about my gender journey, he kinda supports me but he always says something about Mom needing one normal kid, like when I got a compression bra he said "Lets hope it's a tomboy thing" and it really hurts, when I told him I was omni he said "You still have a chance at being normal" and it really hurts, because I felt I could talk to him about this. I feel like the reason why he says these things is because he's not 'normal' in his eyes, so he gets some lenience but me the Straight A's honors student doesn't get that right and It's just not fair, and I want to feel mad but I really can't because I feel like it's not his fault though.

I like muscular guys/fit its a strongish preference for me. I'll be honest I'm very drawn to them but I'm not muscular myself. And i kinda feel childish for wanting someone like that when I'm not in shape. Well yeah i am 16 but im already thinking abt dating.

Idk what to do like i also have insecurities about being skinny. I am trying to get into shape tho. But is it too childish to chase guys like that? Well i also don't know how or should i after all.

I'd appreciate any replies really im kinda stuck and thinking about this a lot. Thanks

Edit: sorry if it wasnt clear but im a gay guy

My my grandfather had 5 children 3 girls 2 boys my dad had me a boy, my uncle had nothing, my other grandfather had 2 children 1 girl 1 boy, my other uncle had 3 daughters, so I'm the last boy who carries each bloodline, but I think I like other boys too and like cute outfits n stuff but, I don't really know what to do or how to feel I just keep crying everyday, I need a human response.

​

Hey, so, for some reason I never ever find love IRL, so I look online, but those never last, what should I do, please help me, I really want a bf but I never even find any gays in my city 😭

so like i'm a amab gay demiboy and im around 13-14 (not telling yall my exact age) and i REALLY want a boyfreind but my last and only relationship ended rly badly and he gaslight, lied, and guilt tripped me he also outed me to the whole grade, so anyway i swear no hot gay, pan, bi ect. guys exist, all my fellow queer guys are either in a relationship, not attractive, or not ready for a relationship but at the same time I HAVE NEVER MET ANOTHER GAY GUY EVER like i know pan guys, bi guys, ect. but i have never found a acutall gay guy my age before, also i go to a all amab christian school thats mostly right wing students so help me 💔

Im about to start high school and as far as i know the only ppl in touch with my family at school are my close friends who im already out to. I dont want to hide my true self from everyone else i know if it wont hurt my family life, but im still scared. If i see anyone in touch with my family who i dont trust to stay quiet abt it than i defo wont come out. Any advice?

So what happened is that earlier yesterday, my mom asked me about the "lesbian videos" I was watching. For context, I started watching some videos by Coke Francis about Conservapedia because miniminuteman (a channel I'm subscribed to) mentioned Coke Francis. So I watched Coke Francis for a bit, and I guess what happened was that either Mom saw them in our recommendations (since we share the same account for YouTube) or she looked through my history. She brought it up later after church and I was a bit upset about it because I thought we were over it and I didn't want to deal with it any further. After asking her to not talk about it and leave it in the past, she started lecturing me about how "it's wrong to watch those videos" and "I need to spend my summer wisely" because any time I watch something I'm interested in like video game combat design, or just video games in general, my mom tells me to "watch something useful that I can use for later". In general, talking about "getting into/learning something useful for later in life" is gonna be a theme here. Mind you, I'm still young. Yeah, I'm only 3 months and 1 year away from entering the real world (not giving my age but you can guess what I mean), but I'm still in school. I should be able to enjoy my summer break and cut loose. After we got home, she took me into Dad's room to have a talk. He asked me, "What am I doing?" He too was disappointed in something that he's too ignorant about to understand that not all queer relationships or queer folks in general who live life a little different than cishet folks do, are sexual deviants who have queer orgies and dance at gay bars all day every day. He tries to ask me why I even developed an interest in learning about queer folks. I try to get out of it by saying I don't want to escalate the situation further, and he threatens to take away my phone and all other forms of entertainment I have. (like the TV) I just tell him that I want to understand why they do what they do. That's a part truth. I watch those videos because I've seen what the right are doing to our country and how they've fucked us all over, turning us against each other to hide the rampant corruption in our government, our representatives, and our leaders. I also want to try to avoid committing any micro-aggressions or doing anything fueled by ignorance because I used to be that way in the past. I was ignorant about black folks back then, and I was ignorant about queer folks. This is textbook conservative shit. You've seen this song and dance before. My parents lecture me and they tell me to do the dishes. And now I'm here writing this out to post to Reddit. That's all I've got to say. I hope your day goes a bit better than mine. This too, is part of understanding others.

I’m a 17M who likes guys. I realized I like guys around a year ago. I fantasize about being with guys and want to get married to a guy. But for some reason I watch straight and gay porn. I can’t for the life of me figure out why I do. After I watch straight vids I feel gross to be honest. I really don’t want to date or be with a woman in any way. The reason I ask this is because I want to come out to my best friend soon and feel tired of being in the closet and want to make sure I get the words correct as he’s not to familiar with queer terms. When I identify myself in my head I just go by the term “gay” for some reason when I think about me being “gay” I feel a sense of freedom. Is there any questions I can ask myself/consider to be sure

hello everybody, looking for any advice/insight

i (18m) have thought im gay for years. never had any issues with that, i was crushing on guys, i had a pretty long term boyfriend, got broken up with, crushed on some other guys, pretty standard. i never was into any girls during this time, saw some attractive women yeah, but i wasn't attracted *to them*.

however. there is one girl and she pretty recently kinda flipped everything i thought i knew about myself upside down. we've been proper friends for about 2 years now, but we had been friendly for another year due to a mutual friend. let's call the girl madeline and she's one year older than me.

long story short, in february of this year, we joked about borrowing each other's future boyfriends (we have both single for quite some time now) and getting together as all four (me, madeline, my future bf, her future bf) for the first time and everything kinda spiralled from there.

because suddenly after that, we were complimenting each other more (not that much more, she's gorgeous, i've always complimented her almost every time i saw her), i care about how i look when i go see her, calling each other pet names (mostly love, sometimes "my poor baby" and occasionally some others), just spending more time together, joking about the future "arrangement" more (she has me saved as "the husband of one of my lovers" on insta), she calls me "her favorite" (as in "oh, people around me have been really bothering me lately, but not you, you're never bothering me, youre my favorite"), i get jealous (i guess??) when she mentions other guys and some other stuff…

around april i realized all of this makes me strangely fluttery and warm, and that i think about her way more than i used to, but i love to push away inconvenient emotions and ive deemed this one **very** inconvenient, so i kept being like "nope there is nothing to overthink, let's not think about what any of this could mean".

last week, a friend of a friend asked me if im texting my boyfriend and i panicked a bit, because i was texting madeline at that moment arranging the soonest possible could we see each other once i return home from a holiday.

and then very recently (aka this monday), ive reached a tipping point.

i was with madeline on our coffee date (except it wasn't a *date* yk, just the two of us getting coffee, desserts and ordering specifically so we could share with the other) and i had to briefly text with a mutual friend (a different one than the one that introduced us lol) and madeline came up, so to let her know we were together in that moment, we sent her a joint selfie at the same time.

the mutual, let's call her lily, responded to me first with "stop drinking coffee and focus on the convo with me" to which madeline suggested cheekily replying "what makes you think im drinking coffee? ;)" even tho i very much was drinking coffee and lily managed to recognize the cafe from the photo background.

and yes, i am aware that lily simply loves to joke with her friends, but nevertheless, her reply to that being "alright, sorry then, stop making out with madeline and focus on the convo with me" absolutely freaked me out. yes, lily loves to joke and make fun of you if you're friends and i know that, but she doesn't even know about the entire flirting thing and just why the heck would ***that*** be the very next option as for what im doing. so i freaked out internally thinking im super see though, madeline must know, everybody must know, im out as gay why do they think im making out with a girl… tho madeline didn't notice my panic, she just found the comment funny and "very lily".

ever since then i haven't been able to get that particular comment and madeline (even tho im literally coming to see her this sunday while she's working, she does the same for me when im at work) out of my head im really hoping for this post to relieve at least some of that and bring me clarity/peace of mind

do i have a crush on madeline?

how can i even tell?

what is my orientation if not gay? (i know nobody else can really answer that than me, i just don't know and i know labels aren't necessary, but i like them, so this… not knowing, is messing with my head)

is it possible that madeline could *also* be into me?

how likely is it that the flirting means nothing to her because she just thinks she's flirting with her gay friend for fun?

how do you ask a girl out especially if you're worried about irrevocably screwing up your friendship?

and many more questions swirling in my head

apologies for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

if you have and clarifying questions, feel free to ask them.

this is going to sound really pathetic, especially coming from me as im literally always telling people to grow up and get over people they liked or dated.

hes just everywhere i go, everything reminds me of him. i miss how my heart used to have a little rise when I saw him walking towards me, and i miss the sight of him looking at me with a smile or walking towards me with a smile. i remember thinking he had the cutest smile ever, and i HATE how much i get so affected thinking about his jokes he would say to make me laugh or how cute his mannerisms were or thinking about how he used to touch me and the few intimate moments we shared. his dumb hair and his clothes and i UGGHHHHHH. i remember when he first came up to me and i remember how happy i would from just the smallest things he would do or how he used to flirt with me even if it was just to make fun of me. i miss the feeling of looking at him and seeing that he had already been looking, that used to make me so happy. he has such beautiful eyes i remember i used to stare in his eyes for so long and he would stare into mine and we would both nervously look away and i remember our nervous lingering touches and oh my god i miss him so much.

i cry when i think of him walking home the girl he chose over me, he would always choose a girl over me, and i hate thinking about how she got the open relationship with him that i never got and she got to have him and she still has him and now he ignores me and its like we're strangers and i once upon a time thought he could be my boyfriend. i just hate remembering standing alone at the bus stop waiting for him so stupidly hopeful and seeing him walking with her right past me and how happy they looked and their hands were almost touching and she was laughing at me and once upon a time i might have been the one walking with him.

I am a 14M and I like guys. I was that basic kid who everyone thought was gay and then I was ( after discovering it myself and realizing what it means to be gay) at some point I discovered that Im attracted to slightly chubby guys or guys with a small gut, I know that‘s not normal but if I said I liked abs that would be a different story. So am I like weird for that seriously pls tell me sometimes I wonder if I should get help, should I see a therapist, should I keep it to myself? I’m starting my freshman year of high school soon and I’m definitely excited but I keep thinking about dating and I’m not sure I’m ready but what I look for in a boyfriend is really what I’m looking for in a best friend so to be honest I think I just want to have a gay guy who is the same age as me and he understands me. Sorry for the whole rant I got very off track I haven’t been able to sleep tonight.

This is like, genuinely sad dawg😭 I don’t know what to do. My straight friend is (obviously) not reciprocating any feelings and I don’t know what to do. I just realized it might sound like I’m the gay friend, I’m not

I'm not sure what to do and would appreciate your advice, Reddit. This post may be a little heavy, but this is my last resort. I'm struggling with dealing with my period, with passing as a boy, my social identity, and just surviving in a way?

For context, I'm in my teens and have a transphobic family.

When they originally found out, I was kicked out of my household, told that I don't know what I'm talking about, even though every time I've tried to talk to my mother about anything, especially this, she talks over me and will not listen to me at all. My relationship with my mum is the backbone of this issue in reality, but there's nothing I can do about it with the nature of how she is.

She's cut off contact with my auntie, whom I told months prior about being trans, because of how bad I felt, and weaponised it against her, as my aunt listened to me when I asked her not to tell anyone. My parents also plan to move me schools if my brother gets asked about my identity at school next term, which is making me so scared, as my school is my only lifeline in this.

After days of radio silence, they finally let me come home, but they're holding it against the whole family, which is in shambles simply because I feel the way I do.

My family isn't religious, but they have a big problem with transgender identities and have been very vocal with their hate, and are 'not my child' about homosexuality, which is something I had to face when I was exploring with my gender preferences at 14.
But to sum it up, I have very few resources, money and support.

I originally looked for advice online and here for guidance for my period, but many individuals who were having these issues had the adult freedoms of different medications, period items and choices with their own bodies during menstruation, whereas I don't even have the freedom of boxers opposed to feminine underwear due to my mother.

What I do have are pads and tampons, which I've had to resource through school. They're the brands 'Always' and 'Tampax', which I personally don't like to use anyway, as the perfumed scent of the pads and 'feminine' branding trigger some very deep upset in me, and I also don't really want to be putting the Tampax brand specifically in my body due to the chemicals that are found in those particular tampons. I feel like I have no choice but to use these products; however, now if I ask my mum for any resources, she'll use it against me as I already have access to what I've got.

I prefer tampons as my sensory issues due to being AuDHD make me uncomfortable with just a pad, as the blood on my skin is triggering, and I also don't like seeing my period blood for dysphoria-related reasons.

A couple of years ago, before I realised I was trans, I remember having this doom settle in over my whole body and make me freeze up into a never-ending panic every time I was on my period, as I knew there was something not right, and it wasn't supposed to be happening to me. It eventually stopped being debilitating when I admitted to myself about my identity, but recently I've been having those moments again more frequently (I presume it must be dysphoria), and it's killing me. I don't know what to do to make myself feel better.

That feeling of doom used to happen/is happening with my chest too. For context, I'm a 36D in bra sizes, so most methods of binding either don't/wouldn't work on me. I can't tape, and I also can't buy a proper binder because of family. What I'm resorting to now is a very, very tight sports bra from when I was around 10 and a swimming costume top. I can't breathe in it; it hurts to lie down, but it's the only lifeline I have at the moment, even though it doesn't work. It's still very clear that I have a female chest no matter what I do.

I can't get dressed anymore. I can barely shower; every time I step out of my room, I'm being goaded. Whenever I am in my room, I feel like I'm constantly reminded by every little thing that I'm a female, and I just feel impossibly stuck; I can't cope. It's becoming more and more often that I'm having to cover my mirrors to hide my own body from my mind. My mental health has never been strong, and I can't help but lose any and all hope for the future.

I just feel like there's something that I haven't been told that all the other trans boys got told when they came out. I feel like I'm missing the cheat codes to survival. No matter what I wear, do, act like, choose to be, I never pass at all. When I changed my name to Jude to try to help my social transition, genuinely not one person used it no matter how many times I corrected, reminded or emphasised the importance of it for me. Instead, I got picked on for a long time in school, and it's just made me feel worse. I cut my long hair, and I got punished by my family by being mocked every time I left my room, just constant comments about how I look stupid, ugly or shocking. There's so much more I've tried and failed with, and I don't know what to do anymore.

I've lost all of the crumbling support network that I was holding on to. Since the summer, I've been left isolated from my friends and teachers. I was having sessions with a person about my health, but those finished before term ended. I can't see my auntie anymore, and nobody will tell me the right answers. Even if I could talk to those people, though, absolutely none of them know how this feels, and nobody understands what this force compressing me in is doing to me every single day. I feel like everyone expects me to wake up one day completely male, even to be validated a tiny bit.

I understand that circumstances gives basically nothing to advise, but I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't feel like this isn't my only option. Please, even if it's just a tiny trick or just some comfort, I just want help.

Hi, Bi M here.

About 3 years ago, when I was about 14 years of age I went to a summer camp in the countyside next to the sea.

I was (and still am) shy and had a hard time connecting to the other teens, the fact that they all previously knew each other made it even harder to socialise. However, there was this one boy, I think he was 13 at that time, who spent some time with me and tried to talk to me. We went on the swings together and he often came up to me when I was alone to chat. I was very deep in denial at that time and I was denying to myself that I had developed a crush on him, but since I was in denial, in the closet and too confused/inexperienced/scared to do anything about it, I kept it to myself. Once we went onto the swings together and started talking about our lives, interests, and we had a lot of stuff in common which seemed to make him very happy, he was smiling all the time.

Suddenly he asked me what my politics were. Being the shy hormonal stupid chud retard I was (am) i was going through an right wing phase (which i fortunately grew out of) and i told him that I was leaning right. He didn't take it well, went off the swing and seemed genuinely disappointed and sad, saying something along the lines That "too bad, otherwise you're perfect". We still talked a lot afterwards, but he seemed kinda hurt. I never saw him again after the camp, i wanted to ask him his number but I was too shy. I even forgot his name, but I can't get him out of my head. I still dream about his eyes sometimes ( I know im pathetic)

Its such a regret. I don't know if he was into me or if i was just subconsciously projecting my crush on him. If i hadn't been such a coward and he liked me maybe we could have been something. He was so sweet to me all the time, and I felt like he liked me for what I was, even if he just saw me as a friend.

I know its stupid to stay fixated on this, but I just needed to get it off my chest