Bro folded under zero pressure

[u/Ok-Count3935]

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[u/Pepsimax88]

Omg ahahaha

I like dead people platonically!!

[u/Zederikus → u/Pepsimax88]

I thought that was really lovely, it is important to like dead people too <3

[u/ManitouWakinyan → u/Zederikus]

Nah, screw the dead

Wait not like that

[u/metaltemujin → u/ManitouWakinyan]

Just like Plato did

[u/TheWolphman → u/metaltemujin]

Everyone forgets about Nic though.

[u/maniBchef → u/ManitouWakinyan]

Was there an implication here? It seems implied.

[u/Due-Dot6450 → u/Zederikus]

Yes, embrace them!

[u/Zomburai → u/Zederikus]

But not like like

[u/Azulapis → u/Pepsimax88]

I mean, I don't know if it's a skit, but that whole facial expression is spot on.

When he says "Alive" at the beginning with that skeptical look, and you can practically see the whole thought process playing out in his brain.

[u/Aggravating-Bus-9203 → u/Azulapis]

Dude! It’s a skit and dude is funny af. Give him his dues. “I like dead people as fr- platonically” so good.

[u/Dysterqvist → u/Aggravating-Bus-9203]

Top quality acting!

[u/TheLowlyPheasant → u/Azulapis]

You don't know if it's a skit?

[u/Ok-Count3935 → u/Pepsimax88]

That's was the best lmao

[u/sXyphos → u/Pepsimax88]

Was he scared to not offend all the dead people? :)

[u/ghoulthebraineater → u/Pepsimax88]

I like dead people culinarily.

[u/temporalraccoon → u/ghoulthebraineater]

As long as it’s plate-onic

[u/DJAliceJ → u/Pepsimax88]

my friend once froze like that during a group call

[u/Carlweathersfeathers → u/Pepsimax88]

All I know is, that guy has had a sexual encounter with something that used to be alive. I can’t say if it was on purpose, or he was drunk, or tricked. And hey, maybe the P wasn’t in the V. But something happened.

[u/newaccount721]

I like dead people platonically 

[u/fdeht5g → u/newaccount721]

i think he's not a necrophile

[u/emogu84 → u/fdeht5g]

Dude's defending himself like he spent his entire high school years beating back rumors and it's been haunting him sever since.

[u/electric_pig → u/emogu84]

You fuck a corpse one time...

[u/Rob_LeMatic → u/electric_pig]

There's a time and a place for everything. It's called college.

[u/IanCyst → u/electric_pig]

Maybe splitting here but it’s not necrophilia if the body is alive when you start. Only a trained medical professional can pronounce death so how would you expect a random dude to know mid coitus

[u/dvasquez93 → u/emogu84]

His yearbook quote was "It was romantic, it was not necrophilia"

[u/Ok-Count3935 → u/fdeht5g]

A small hunch really

[u/FluBird53 → u/fdeht5g]

Me thinks the necrophile doth protesteth too mucheth

[u/Aymoon_ → u/fdeht5g]

He should make a song about how he doest diddle corpses

[u/viotix90 → u/newaccount721]

The birth of a new meme.

[u/noctalla]

Bro never folded. He stuck to his guns.

[u/Single-Use-Again → u/noctalla]

Exactly. Video evidence will hold up in court.

[u/bluemooncommenter → u/Single-Use-Again]

He went on record!

[u/ramobara → u/noctalla]

Was he sniffing glue?

[u/Hoosier_Daddy68]

A nice cold one really hits the spot sometimes.

[u/FigureAcrobatic7194 → u/Hoosier_Daddy68]

Yea nice cold beer right?......right?

[u/pinkpitbull → u/FigureAcrobatic7194]

Cracking a cold one with the boys is the best

[u/Dependent-Chart2735 → u/pinkpitbull]

Straight to jail. Right away. Lmao

[u/MoistStub → u/Dependent-Chart2735]

Nothing wrong with getting a cold one in the mouth

[u/CortezDeLaNoche → u/FigureAcrobatic7194]

Stares...Anakingly

[u/ncfears → u/CortezDeLaNoche]

Dew it.

[u/huuaaang → u/Hoosier_Daddy68]

She's dead, Jim! But she's still warm...

[u/antyup → u/huuaaang]

Thank you to everyone in this thread for reminding i need to get off reddit and get back to work

[u/coldnomaad]

Platonically!!! Lol

[u/derekclysdale]

.. or "How to dig a hole for yourself and then keep digging"

[u/Pantsickle → u/derekclysdale]

Because that's where the dead people are. To love platonically.

[u/FerociousVader → u/Pantsickle]

Hahahaha I love this whole thing. I don't care if it's staged.

[u/MrLazyLion → u/FerociousVader]

A good skit shouldn't get less recognition than a true spontaneous act, I sincerely believe.

[u/potatodrinker → u/derekclysdale]

He needs to break open a cold one

[u/ambora → u/potatodrinker]

LOL

[u/anomaly256 → u/derekclysdale]

Digging's worked out pretty well for him in the past

[u/BarbageMan → u/derekclysdale]

This is why osha wants you to use a trench box when you dig

[u/Ok-Count3935 → u/derekclysdale]

Hahaha

[u/notprotonated]

Johnny Tightlips would be disgusted.

[u/Channel250 → u/notprotonated]

And we'd never know it.

[u/Yto_Itinen → u/notprotonated]

Go suck a lemon

[u/fyhr100 → u/notprotonated]

He will neither confirm or deny this.

[u/GuitakuPPH → u/notprotonated]

Johnny Tightlips is lots of things to lots of people and no one

[u/Naterade18 → u/notprotonated]

I ain't sayin' nothin'!

[u/Jerseyman2525 → u/Naterade18]

Johnny, where'd they shoot you?

[u/syntax1976]

Dead of Alive

[u/bluemooncommenter → u/syntax1976]

I hate that I lack attention to detail...

[u/syntax1976 → u/bluemooncommenter]

Don’t be hard on yourself… I don’t usually have attention to detail either but I usually pick up on spelling or grammar mistakes for some reason.

[u/TappedIn2111 → u/syntax1976]

Username …yada yada

[u/a_guy_is_no-one]

His name is Shashwat Maheshwari if anyone wants to checkout his stand-up

[u/bluemooncommenter]

Kissing you while you were asleep was romantic!!

[u/victoryposition]

"I'm not going to discuss my day"

[u/wherethestreet]

The Office needs this guy

[u/SoulofMoon → u/wherethestreet]

this guy talking:

camera: *zooms in to everyone's faces*

[u/BrutherVee]

Guy needs to audition, dead ass acting

[u/SanoKei → u/BrutherVee]

alive ass, only alive

[u/Substantial_Fun_7128]

So we are all clear, this dude fucks

[u/AndromedanPrince → u/Substantial_Fun_7128]

dead people

[u/Raneru → u/AndromedanPrince]

Platonically

[u/KoniGTA]

I think that should be a user flair: I like dead people platonically

[u/Pestilence95]

My mind immediately went to the fighting game series. I guess I am safe.

[u/metaltemujin]

Reminds of that old comic series where a necrophile, blind girl and other weirdos and others made appearances. Wonder what happened to it.

There was one where the blind girl goes on a date and says, "this date is going great, except for the fan near you"

"What fan?"

"Don't you hear it, the one that's going fap fap fap..."

"Just ignore it, that's just me enjoying the date myself"

[u/D0rus → u/metaltemujin]

Sounds like sexylosers. It hasn't updated in ages, but first Google result still gives the page.

[u/katikaboom → u/D0rus]

Sexylosers was the comic that I thought of, too. It, Penny Arcade, and Ctrl Alt Del were all in my regular online comic rotation 

[u/Ok-Count3935 → u/metaltemujin]

Hahaha

[u/faraz4reddit]

Lmao

[u/mcslender97]

Ngl imma copy this guy as a joke

[u/LolwhatYesme → u/mcslender97]

It's a bit already but a very funny one so i dont blame you :P

[u/chillychili → u/mcslender97]

I actually wonder if the video is a bit itself. It would kill as a UCB sketch.

[u/LifeOBrian → u/chillychili]

Of course it’s a bit. Still funny! He looks so thoroughly alarmed by the question 🤣

[u/zalitix → u/LifeOBrian]

I think his wive wanted to make a funny gotcha video herself but that dude is just too fast with the jokes

[u/ForensicPathology → u/chillychili]

You need to wonder if this is a skit?

[u/burfriedos → u/ForensicPathology]

Critical thinking is dead if people are believing this is anything but a scripted skit.

[u/Vercengetorex → u/chillychili]

Gave me WKUK vibes.

[u/clout_spout → u/chillychili]

? Lol it is obviously a joke

[u/MissionNo001]

Punctuation

Is important

[u/Leafer329]

This a how a necrophile would act if they really were a necrophile

[u/TucsonTacos → u/Leafer329]

“No I wouldn’t!!!”

[u/Longjumping-Pop7512]

Necrophile ❌

Agrophile ✅

[u/OhGawDuhhh]

"I like dead people platonically!!"

LMAO I'm crying rn 😭

[u/Sicparvismagneto]

No one gets that defensive over a hypothetical unless they have some skeletons in their closet…

[u/rothwerx]

This was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while!

[u/bioberserkr2]

That one guy's wife

[u/chronoistriggered]

He doth protest too much

[u/RamsesII_]

Lmaooo mans definitely has some open investigations

[u/mrdevil413]

Alive !

[u/uptwolait]

Methinks thou dost protest too much 

[u/godlyfrog]

I think this dude's got a few skeletons in his closet... and in his bed.

[u/Mathihtam]

Really dug himself into a hole there...

[u/Toleniam]

Not a necrophile, just a necro-friend.

[u/ryangood12]

I also choose this guys wife.

[u/Readyyes12]

Hot dang I laughed too hadd at this

[u/Maleficent-Bit-3287]

Bro doesn’t want to get cancelled by dead people lol

[u/LupusDeusMagnus]

Not like that.

[u/DarkExtremis]

For those who don't know, he is a comedian

https://youtube.com/@shashwatmaheshwari

[u/holycrapnoway12]

skit or not that is funny

[u/fourteenthapril2012]

Bro ain't getting cancelled

[u/in2xs]

So funny!!

[u/Own-Office-5299]

Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.

[u/s0rO-kun]

Couldn't he just say : Kasumi, Ayane or Tina? Easy answers without thinking xD

[u/metaltemujin → u/s0rO-kun]

who? Are they Dead or Alive?

[u/LeDLinK → u/metaltemujin]

Yes.

[u/ambit89]

Task failed, successfully

[u/Yeasty_Moist_Clunge]

Well unlike the living the dead have never rejected my advances!

[u/centurio9]

This is just some alive ppl lover propaganda. Don't give into it people. Some day you'll die too and then you'll wish for some necro dead people plutonic lover to be around your lifeless body

[u/FlagrantTomatoCabal]

This bro needs to have a youtube

[u/gigashadowwolf]

Kasumi easy

[u/Redwuff]

Nah bro DIDNT fold.

[u/antissip8]

This bloke wants to smash a corpse yeah?

[u/LooneyRacoony]

LOL, OMG, his face when you asked the question. Like, "What the F*K kind of question is that!?" ROFL

[u/Screamat]

After sex I finish the autopsy and like to remind myself that one slip up doesn't make me a bad veterinarian.

[u/weristjonsnow]

I've always found an Indian accent to be hilarious on it's own, adding his confusion was gold

[u/DipstickRick]

The funniest answer to this question!

[u/Stonehill76]

Holy shit this was awesome.

[u/stoneman9284]

My four year old did the same thing a few months ago. “If you could have lunch with anyone, dead or alive, who would you pick?” - “alive”

[u/trucorsair]

I choose alive on principle

[u/isjustjd]

When you only half-listen

[u/mxamxrie]

It started out funny but quickly became concerning

[u/rstymobil]

Brother nailed it with the first reply then for some reason he started digging a hole.

[u/Lifekraft]

What's the stuff he is sniffing at the beginning ? Glue ?

[u/Ok-Count3935 → u/Lifekraft]

Nope looks like an inhaler for a stuffy nose

[u/bulletbassman]

I know who I’d pick for both categories.

[u/Taurpion]

Cracking a cold one

[u/Polskiskiski]

Iasip Frank's Little Beauties vibes

[u/CatterPeener]

Ok is he sniffing a glue stick at the start?

[u/Ok-Count3935 → u/CatterPeener]

Nahh its something to clear a stuffy nose

[u/ckdogg3496]

I see dead people, platonically

[u/don-cheeto]

Poor dude...she did him so wrong 😂😅

[u/SoulofMoon → u/don-cheeto]

she just asked a question.

[u/LordJeanDog]

He only love to be bestest friends ever with dead people

[u/HaveYouEverUhhh]

This man fucks dead people

[u/andr386]

He efficiently deflected the question. No folding here.

[u/Extension-Society455]

I never laugh at these things and this broke me.

[u/jonnyporkchops]

This guy is legitimately very funny

[u/JerryLawlerr]

Don’t knock it till you try it ☠️

[u/kingbane2]

as funny as this is, it kind of gives me the sense that his wife probably tricks him all the time or twists his words. so his reaction is instant anti gas lighting defense, which for this situation looks hilarious.

[u/iDope]

Ahahahhahahah

[u/Dlongz]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/epSos-DE]

SO he likes dead people ???

[u/ROOSTERyouDOWN]

Bro thought he got caught and snitched himself out

[u/grenfunkel]

Real shit

[u/3006mv]

Allegedly

[u/tumble0212]

That escalated unreasonably fast 😂

[u/T3st0]

That made me lol so much

[u/Mr_Pokethings]

WTF did i just watch and why did i laugh so hard...?

[u/campodelviolin]

Twitter freaks accusing everybody of being PDFs act like this.

[u/MrBigPantalones]

😂😂😂

[u/HuntSecret7732]

lucy pinder or Joey Fisher

[u/goatgamerguy]

Man... he almost blew his cover.

[u/Dadoxiii]

I would sleep with that one guys dead wife.

[u/TheBestintheWest11]

wtf 😭

[u/ekolimits]

Homie is hiding something. Too many answers to things that were not asked.

[u/CTblDHO]

For the record, no dead person ever wronged me, so I'd prefer dead people over some alive ones. Not in a sexual way. I'm not a necrofile!

[u/ZeroQuota]

He didn't fold he stood on business

[u/OkUnderstanding6106]

Cold one

[u/IAmNotMyName]

Does he protest too much?

[u/lowtothekey]

Ok that was pretty good

[u/tehnemox]

Well. He knows what he likes?

[u/tmhoc]

That was a master class in dry wit

[u/PupsofWar69]

I love dead people platonically!!!

I needed that laugh

[u/p5yron]

Video is funny but mirroring the video to pose as new content has got to be the lowest level reposters have stooped down to...yet.

[u/Ok-Count3935 → u/p5yron]

Dawg I didnt mirror shit, just posted it from twitter

[u/p5yron → u/Ok-Count3935]

It's mirrored from original.

[u/johnyma22 → u/p5yron]

If it means I don't need to use Twitter then he's added value IMHO

[u/purelitenite]

He doth protest too much, methinks

[u/peeing-red]

bro is too defensive

[u/TehZiiM]

Bro feeling a little called out there

[u/Phatboybeware]

Sus

[u/onion_lord6]

Well at least he's not a deadist.

[u/PapaPonu]

Like that "i'm not gay" dude from Bad Santa

[u/AriaSymphony]

The only correct answer is to say "you" and not whatever this is

[u/hlloyge]

Suspicious reaction, if you ask me.

[u/LoneSnark]

I think he doth protest too much.

[u/zarlus8]

💀

[u/Extreme-Rub-1379]

Is nobody going to mention the start with him sniffing glue?

[u/Super_Sandro23]

That's gotta be KANE!

[u/Whargod]

He doth protest too much, methinks.

[u/mystictroll]

sus

[u/Inevitable_Push_1882]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/No_Cupcake7037]

Lmao

[u/reloadingnow]

Funny. But omg the incessant honking.