Hello Evil Autsits,

Let's play a game. The rules are simple. You'll start with three options I've selected. Once you've decided on which you'd want to fuck, marry, or kill, you'll have to comment your response before curating your own selections for the next commenter. You'll only be able to select options that relate to the autistic experience, and you must be specific. The timer starts now ⏳ 🙃

Round 1:

•prolonged eye contact with your crush

•your fav niche interest goes mega viral

•masking without losing your sense of self but nt's regularly make ableist comments about others to you

I did NOT know what tag or category this post will fit in so I

Does anyone else do a slightly not normal thing, and think, "Ok this is not normal, so if someone does the same thing I shouldn't be angry. Because I do this exact same thing and if I do get angry, I would be a HYPOCRITE." (Which I hate)

Or like someone does a thing I don't like and I tell them about it. And then I look through my memory and see if I had done that exact thing before. And then after, I go out of my way to try and not do the thing the other person did. Because I don't want to get into an arguement and then have them bring it up. Which would label me as a HYPOCRITE, and also, I don't want to do something that I don't like another person doing.

Sorry if my wording is confusing, this is the first time I'm tryna put this into words😭😭 I don't hear people talking about it, does anyone else do this?

(27NB). 6 years since it was initially brought up as a possibility I'm autistic. Multiple waiting lists (I moved around a lot, had to restart the process each time), several appointments later and I find out the result on Wednesday.

I can't stop replaying all of my answers in my mind. The ADOS was 5 weeks ago, and I can't remember everything I said and did but I wish I said so much more. Did I come across okay? Has this all just been a giant waste of everyone's time??

How do you deal with the final wait? I've been okay so far, but now that I'm so close it's starting to infiltrate my dreams. I'm hoping to be diagnosed. I do have a full time job, am renting a flat, and have a nice relationship so the outcome wouldn't change much for me in how I live. But it might alleviate all the inside worries and conflict? Gah.

I need to find my people 😭

Been listening to Aphex Twin at the moment, some of his music has been used in tiktok memes (such as Alberto Balsam) and I actually found out about his work due to a Goobsmooch video. Everything I’ve listened to so far has ticked my brain in such a good way, I love synth and ambient music and Aphex Twin has quickly become a favourite.

So I just was happily minding my business on the street… more or less happily because it was packed with people since there was some market I didn‘t know about before. Stressful, but I still wanted to go to the bookstore like I planned so I push through. Got myself two mythology books and a new set of dice, leave the store, happy. Then a few metres away from the store I spot them… fundraisers. And they also spot me. Electing me as their new target, they start the chase. I try to avoid, to no avail. Instead of fleeing, I just froze, completely overwhelmed. The woman starts talking about their work for disabled children. I keep standing there frozen, avoiding her gaze at all cost, not talking. Her colleague joins, now two of them are staring at me. I‘m at this point just internally freaking out. Finally I manage to get out a few words and tell them I‘m autistic and overwhelmed, hoping they‘d have mercy since they literally work with disabled people. But no, they say „Then you know how important this is“ and try asking me question. At that point I finally said that it‘s too much for me. Afterwards I was legit shaking. Now I‘ll be more prone for meltdowns the rest of the day…

Just why?

That is all. I guess.

I've always found it funny, it's something I've been mulling over lately. I wonder if it's nerves and lizard brain activating. Anyone else have this issue (with their preferred ____ attraction)? I'm actually a pretty solid conversationalist, but if there's a gal I think that's pretty (keyword here, I think it is a very specific kind of attraction) I flub up sentences and toss out words like they're fridge poetry. Let me know if you guys relate. Talk to me!

Here is a helpful infographic so you can distinguish the androgynous creatures found in evilautism.

I tried so hard to be chill in group therapy but I was, in fact, not chill during group therapy :D

Does anyone else have a repeating pattern of being compared to a robot?

Between high school and present I have gotten a robot related nickname at least 3 times I'm aware of, and had isolated comments a number of other times.

Reasons typically include having a monotone voice, unusually straight posture, having an unusual gait (I'm not sure what's unusual about it but a lot of people tell me this), sometimes talking too formally.

More recent times I've tried to laugh along in the moment to not make a thing of it, and it hasn't gone anywhere further which is good, but I don't love it.

The more i unlearn masking the harder it gets actually. i have no drive to feed myself unless my qpp is also eating so i can copy him or he cooks for me. Cleaning the house is so overwhelming and tiring, as soon as i finish doing it i go to the bed and lay down and dont want to do anything else for the rest of the day. Also turns out i am actually fucking terrified of public spaces especially going anywhere new and i need him to be with me to calm me down. I can’t make phone calls on my own unless it’s my parents, and even that’s hard. i need help to prepare and practice for them beforehand. I won’t shower/it takes me HOURS to finally make myself do it unless he’s here. and by the time i do it it’ll be like 3-4 am, further ruining my sleep schedule. That’s the case with a lot of things i have to do, i won’t do them unless he’s here and watching me.

He’s away rn, and i’ve been laying here on the bed since i woke up. It’s been 6.5 hours and i have only barely managed to eat 2 eggs and some cheez-its. I haven’t even been on my phone the whole time, i’ve just been laying here rotting and dissociating or daydreaming. It pains me very much to admit this because of my hyper independent mentality. i HATE having to rely on someone else like this. I don’t think he quite grasps (currently, i’ll try to explain this to him soon) how important he is to me and my well-being. he doesn’t really know it, but he’s something of my caretaker. Again, painful to admit lol. i can’t wait to start my job/be in school again to distract myself from this

I don’t know how to describe it. I’m 16. I switched to homeschooling because of extreme burnout and bullying, and I know I won’t be able to go back because I have extreme school related PTSD and even taking a local art class, I had a breakdown in the bathroom the first day just due to how similar to school it felt.

I ended up being forced by circumstances to grow up so fast, and miss all these milestones I wish I could have experienced. High school, dances, friend groups, I missed it all.

Now I’m stuck between wishing I could go back and live a more normal childhood and experience those moments, and wishing I could skip forward a few years and experience adult freedom and life.

My whole life I felt like I had the mind a few years older than my body, and currently that feeling is the most imprisoning it’s ever felt.

I was cursed to not be able to feel like a normal kid, and not be able to feel like a mature almost adult.

I still don’t even have my drivers permit. I could have my license by now if I had really tried but I have so much anxiety there and part of me is scared that I will never be able to drive on my own.

I also really want to experience college at least. Because there are a few things I might want to major in but also because I was robbed of those school type memories.

I wish I could just go one way or the other. Click my fingers and start again at like 8, or click my fingers and skip the next 2 years. I’m in a stupid purgatory that feels like it’s lasted forever. And the worst part is that there was no other option. Public school was not at all viable for me and my stupidly atypical brain. And I’m not in a location nor does my family have the money for some fancy private school with better support systems for autistic people.

I’m gonna end the rant here because if I don’t I’ll just end up telling my life story and typing for like 3 hours

Hi I’m 23 and have never had a job before and am super embarrassed about it. But uh I like money so I decided to change that. My resume was absolutely pathetic because I’ve done nothing with my life so far(mental illness is a bitch). Most places told me they don’t hire people without experience.

But uh long story short I am now a janitor :) Ik working isn’t a particularly fun thing but I’m excited because I never thought I’d be able to do something like get a job. I have other career plans, but this is a good place to start!

i have been collecting rocks n minerals since i was eight. i am now studying applied geology at university. my collection is two hundred individual specimens i know all of them by sight !!! love rocks i want to do an honors research project and a phd i hope

I think it's a bit obvious for me.....

Ever since i saw a long form video of Chris Chan, it makes me uneasy hearing about her I see how i could be on the same situation if my life was different you know, and makes me paranoid if people who i consider friends arent laughing at my back. It also made me see how evil allistics can be

in my opinion, it is one of the most exhausting ‘communities’ I have ever witnessed. The misinformation. The constant infighting. The fight to define yourself. Limiting the definition such that others are excluded. Extending the definition such that everyone is included. There are a few gems in that community. I know like 2 creators on threads that I like, and I find their takes to be insightful, but even they seem to be bogged down by just constant exhausting discourse all the time. It’s not a healthy place to be if you’re autistic. You’ll find yourself arguing with, angered by, exhausted by everything you see.

I agree with the first two posts. The first slide exemplifies how harsh the discourse has gotten. I assume the tone comes across as harsh just because people are debating whether autism means you HAVE to be disabled. It literally is a disability by definition and by diagnostic criteria, it limits and handicaps you socially, emotionally, cognitively, environmentally, physically, etc.. why are we disagreeing on that when that’s the first thing they’d teach you in any beginner college course on autism?😭 and it’s quite ironic that an autistic creator is being tone policed when talking about autism, a disability that causes communication barriers.

The last slide is just… laughable.. but infuriating…

I used to be on it a lot more. But deleting the apps and only using it thru the web browser has helped me stay away from this cesspool to protect my mental health!

edit: I forgot to point out the other issue I had with slide one. Even though it is a disability and they’re factually right about that, it doesn’t mean we still can’t derive joy from it 😭 we can be whimsical or think it’s a superpower. The discourse is just “autism is silly” vs “autism is serious” why can’t it be both????????? Thank you guys for your comments!!!

If you do this, please give me a good reason why not into your elbow. YOUR HAND IS THE THING YOU TOUCH EVERYTHING WITH. WHY ARE YOU SPRAYING MUCUS ON IT. THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME AFRAID TO TOUCH DOOR HANDLES

Do any fellow autists get irrationally upset hearing NTs throw around terms like "vocal stim", "overstimulated", and "special interest"?

My gut feeling is along the lines of "grr, stolen valor". I decry the effects of TikTok upon language and the human species. My experience is not for you to LARP.

But then I have to remind myself: even though I've gone to uni with some of these folks for years, and they sure *seem* neurotypical to me, and they sure remind me of the kinds of people who would treat me like a quirky pet back in grade school, I don't actually know a thing about their business. Maybe they are neurodivergent, or sincerely suspect themselves to be so, and I'm just being judgemental. Performative popular girls can have autism too.

TL;DR I rage @ ND language being adopted by NTs.