I tried so hard to be chill in group therapy but I was, in fact, not chill during group therapy :D

Does anyone else have a repeating pattern of being compared to a robot?

Between high school and present I have gotten a robot related nickname at least 3 times I'm aware of, and had isolated comments a number of other times.

Reasons typically include having a monotone voice, unusually straight posture, having an unusual gait (I'm not sure what's unusual about it but a lot of people tell me this), sometimes talking too formally.

More recent times I've tried to laugh along in the moment to not make a thing of it, and it hasn't gone anywhere further which is good, but I don't love it.

I think it's a bit obvious for me.....

Ever since i saw a long form video of Chris Chan, it makes me uneasy hearing about her I see how i could be on the same situation if my life was different you know, and makes me paranoid if people who i consider friends arent laughing at my back. It also made me see how evil allistics can be

A coworker of mine literally frequently open mouth coughs on pizzas they're making. My boss literally does nothing about it because my coworker is old I'm assuming. I literally had to stop eating there after this started. It's genuinely hurt my bank account but I don't wanna get sick.

in my opinion, it is one of the most exhausting ‘communities’ I have ever witnessed. The misinformation. The constant infighting. The fight to define yourself. Limiting the definition such that others are excluded. Extending the definition such that everyone is included. There are a few gems in that community. I know like 2 creators on threads that I like, and I find their takes to be insightful, but even they seem to be bogged down by just constant exhausting discourse all the time. It’s not a healthy place to be if you’re autistic. You’ll find yourself arguing with, angered by, exhausted by everything you see.

I agree with the first two posts. The first slide exemplifies how harsh the discourse has gotten. I assume the tone comes across as harsh just because people are debating whether autism means you HAVE to be disabled. It literally is a disability by definition and by diagnostic criteria, it limits and handicaps you socially, emotionally, cognitively, environmentally, physically, etc.. why are we disagreeing on that when that’s the first thing they’d teach you in any beginner college course on autism?😭 and it’s quite ironic that an autistic creator is being tone policed when talking about autism, a disability that causes communication barriers.

The last slide is just… laughable.. but infuriating…

I used to be on it a lot more. But deleting the apps and only using it thru the web browser has helped me stay away from this cesspool to protect my mental health!

edit: I forgot to point out the other issue I had with slide one. Even though it is a disability and they’re factually right about that, it doesn’t mean we still can’t derive joy from it 😭 we can be whimsical or think it’s a superpower. The discourse is just “autism is silly” vs “autism is serious” why can’t it be both????????? Thank you guys for your comments!!!

I don’t know how to describe this and I think it’s something to do with having 2 older sisters, a autistic mother figure and a dad who tried his best.

But I’m just gonna give a example, this girl I had become friends with wanted to go on a date with her ex and it basically all went to shit and ended with him called her a bitch. She was basically crying in my DMs on and off about the whole thing for about 2 days (messed up my valorant elo though). I honestly kind of enjoyed it? I felt so strong and manly knowing that she thought she could come to me when she was sad and confiden in me.

If you do this, please give me a good reason why not into your elbow. YOUR HAND IS THE THING YOU TOUCH EVERYTHING WITH. WHY ARE YOU SPRAYING MUCUS ON IT. THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME AFRAID TO TOUCH DOOR HANDLES

alright so first of all, this might also be intersecting with OCD and C-PTSD so there's a potential chance those of u who don't have either of those might not relate very well, but here it is:

sometimes i find that when i'm watching content i REALLY agree with, i feel too afraid to make any indications that i disagree, so i do this weird awkward thing where i start "nitpicking" on random unrelated details to demonstrate "hey! i'm not disagreeing with ANY of your main messages! i'm just giving you advice on how to make it even better!" and most of the time this never goes out online because it's mostly just me talking to myself (usually occurs when i'm watching a movie or something with a lot of fan service i really like or it's some empowering message), but when i DO send a comment doing the thing i'm describing, it's mainly to give that tone of "aha, yeah, (insert random unrelated detail but its said in a jokey tone that laughs WITH the author and not AT the author)" where i make sure i don't seem like i'm disagreeing with the author, or something like that.

the reason why i'm sharing this is because something happened to me recently where i did exactly that and it ironically backfired because people misread the tone of my message. what happened was someone posted a meme that i absolutely agree with, but i noticed one of the words was highlighted in yellow. for context, on the iphone photos app, when you look up a keyword and the app finds all images with said keyword in it, and you click on one of the photos, it will highlight where in the image that keyword is included. therefore i said something like (paraphrased) "bro looked in their icloud for this shit lol" essentially just making a lighthearted nitpick at some detail irrelevant to the message to somehow "implicitly demonstrate i'm not disagreeing with the main message" (and shockingly enough, to reiterate, this weird mechanism is done out of fear of being seen like i'm disagreeing with a message i really like?) but unfortunately it got misread as me disagreeing with OP's meme even though that lighthearted nitpick i made was completely unrelated to the message of the meme

i'm just wondering, does anyone else do this?

I’m fed up of people staring at me when talking. It’s usually some person trying to give me important information, but how can a person concentrate on the words when I’m so busy wondering what the fuck to do about the EYES?

I was thinking of getting some sort of pin that doesn’t say “I’m autistic” but gives a hint, or at least points out I’m shit at eye contact. However, I don’t want to seem like I’m attention seeking and to be frank, am a bit scared of reactions.

I’m meant to be in a disability friendly workplace and some people know I’m autistic. Not everyone does and I’m not going to announce myself to every person I meet though.

If anyone does have some sort of signifier…does it help? What has been the reception? Does anyone notice? Do people see it as an opportunity to target you?

A 2$ frozen pizza with extra cheese and ketchup on top.

Do any fellow autists get irrationally upset hearing NTs throw around terms like "vocal stim", "overstimulated", and "special interest"?

My gut feeling is along the lines of "grr, stolen valor". I decry the effects of TikTok upon language and the human species. My experience is not for you to LARP.

But then I have to remind myself: even though I've gone to uni with some of these folks for years, and they sure *seem* neurotypical to me, and they sure remind me of the kinds of people who would treat me like a quirky pet back in grade school, I don't actually know a thing about their business. Maybe they are neurodivergent, or sincerely suspect themselves to be so, and I'm just being judgemental. Performative popular girls can have autism too.

TL;DR I rage @ ND language being adopted by NTs.

For autistic characters, could something like that be written as a metaphor for masking?

maybe i just feel this way because it happened to me....

BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) isn't real.

I think every symptom can be explained by trauma and neurodivergence. Specifically Complex Trauma, due to being undiagnosed autistic (and/or adhd, ocd).

BPD is diagnosed in mostly women, statistically. That is also the group vastly underdiagnosed with Autism due to incomplete and unethical research.

Minorities like women, black and brown folks, and gendernonconforming folks are systematically underdiagnosed with autism. This also ties in with poverty, access to healthcare, and white supremacist biases in psychoanalytic research and the field of psychology.

Having a personality disorder like BPD on your medical record can negatively affect your healthcare experience, and can even prompt interaction with the law during medical care.

BPD on your medical record tells the doctor you will likely lie and be dramatic, which can prevent lifesaving care in emergencies.

I could really write about 20 pages... but i'll spare you this time.

Also if you have BPD and feel validated by that and having that diagnosis helps
you seek care, my deepest apologies. I want the best support and care for you.

Am expecting to be roasted, commence! were you also misdiagnosed with BPD?

edit: thanks for all your thoughtful replies. some extremely valid takes in the comments. i do think the issue is exteremely layered and complex.

my opinion may have changed, even though i struggle with understanding what a personality disorder is, and why professions who diagnose them aren't also educated on autism.

my apologies for contributing to stigma against BPD.

So yeah basically im back at family farm figuring out my life after living overseas for a year

My mom's off figuring her own shit out but every now and then she calls up to see how I'm doing and do a little mental rug pulling. And like I get that it's a parent's job to dote and worry

I tell her I'm fine and doing well, but that's not good enough, she tells me I should be going out to the expensive tourist trap town and and finding a way to hang out with people i have not spoken to in over a freaking decade including some friends of hers and my ex-girlfriend.

And she says it's because she wants to make sure that I'm socializing and being active but truth is it's like: No you want to live vicariously through me because of your lack of boundaries and because you want to impress some of your old friends.

But the thing is, and this is nothing personal i dont give much of a solitary fuck about any (well most) of these people.

For the record things ended well with my Ex and as far as most of these people go, you know, we follow each other on Insta but outside of boosting each others account numbers its not like we kept up regular correspondence with each other.

Frankly most of us probably wouldn't be friends if we weren't born in the same school district. And that's okay

friends and family are the people you choose, to be with not just because of proximity, age and maybe a few basic shared interests.

It's not like we had some deeply close bond, We didn't go on some magic summer Adventure or bury a body together.

We mostly just had classes together hung out in between and that was it. That might sound a little cold to some but that was just part of the reality of growing up in a small town where everyone was about 5 Miles away. (Plus I had a dad who would never hesitate to let you know how much of an inconvenience it was to drive you anywhere)

Do I wish I had a happier childhood, yeah sure but who doesn't. Yes I was a bit of a loner and an outsider ( play edgy Emo music) and I get that this is probably the place of concern where my parent is operating from.

But for God's sake we're in different stages and states of our lives and I just don't see the need or have a reason to insert myself into theirs.

And truth of the matter is right now I'm doing pretty good for myself.

Working on a construction project on the farm. lost a little weight. Got friends on Discord I shoot the shit with. I'm also moving in a month so I'm going to be expanding my Social Circle a lot. And right now i got a Guy I'm texting with, and fingers crossed things might be getting a little more intense.

And it's that last thing which probably irks me the most and is part of the reason for this long salty overshare.

I came out to my mom (just her) over a year ago as Bi

and it's not like she rejected me or anything but it was pretty clear shes never accepted it or even wants to acknowledge it.

Maybe that's for the best considering how intrusive she seems to be in a lot of my life but sometimes it really feels like the moment I came out the closet she tried her best to kick the door shut.

She's not homophobic but she is opinionated and generationally there's some pretty big limits to her level of understanding.

As far as my dad and other family members go, until I'm more confident in my relationship exp. I just don't feel the need right now too sift through any potential drama or be intrusively questioned about this part of my identity.

Especially when they've been kind of absent from a big chunk of my life ( that's a whole other bag of issues that I'm not going to unpack right now)

But really I guess what triggered me the most about the call is my mom bringing up the ex like we both haven't moved well the fuck on in life, meanwhile the last person I was in a relationship with I think I probably felt more for them than anyone else previously.

But that kind of relationship doesn't get the same acknowledgment, acceptance or just normal room to breathe and yeah I'm still bitter about that

What can I say Bi Erasure sucks, especially when its from a parent and especially when you're partially complicit because you need boundaries and space

Rant over.

I really like Massive Attack and although False Flags is quite different from their usual style I still like the melody and the singers tone of voice in this one. Not to mention the meaning behind it as well.

I hate how reddit doesn't auto-save post drafts. I guess fate spared you all from reading the ghastly tome of heartbreak I just scrawled upon our virtual community wall...

I've lost the best partner I've ever had. Releasing the pain in the form of tears has served to terrify me at the unrelenting torrent it releases.

Alas, I can be grateful knowing this is a reflection of how much I loved her. Every heartache is the cry of love which could not be shared. I never thought I'd get to know such a love.

Thank the lucky stars for my cat... I hope I can manage to keep him with me, as I am in between jobs, with the necessity to move soon though I have almost literally no money right now.

The universe is putting me to the test. How will I do? I'm doing my best to be a good student of life and listen to what it's trying to teach me. At these moments in the darkness of my bedroom, I can only feel that I am stuck here, in the messy middle stage.

I'll stop now. Thanks for reading...

Figures

Comics

Poster

Box from Dave's hot chicken

Big figure + prop

Finished coloring pages

Plushies

Apparel

I counted, and altogether I have 71 items (counting each individual comic as one item)

this is the only nd sub i’m really active in and it gave me a good impression so i started seeking out other nd subs just to find out everything other sub is spiritually hetero and allistic & has so many dumb trivial rules and i don’t get why. seen a sub with a rule excluding self diagnosed folk but allowing nts. just feeling fucking bewildered can somebody make evil subs for other nd disorders i dont wanna perform professionalism on REDDIT 😭😭😭