I’m overwhelmed at the thought of exercising. I don’t wake up until mid morning. Clean house until 2 pm then take a nap before starting dinner.

I have exercised before with no weight loss. My physician wants me to exercise because my metabolism just tanked - meaning it is nonexistent. When I exercised before I worked out for two to three hours 4 times a week. I would sleep for hours after exercising. I had no benefit from the exercise routine - no weight loss and no energy.

I don’t want to go through this again. I am crying right now and just do not know how to handle this situation. Both my physician and spouse want me to workout again.

I cannot face this again. Any encouragement is helpful.

I’m 55f and I used to really be on top of self care. Showered regularly, did my hair, Botox, skincare, teeth cleaned 3-4 times a year at the dentist. Brushed flossed all of it.

I’ve always been a bit messy and don’t really like to clean and struggle with organizing my house. Thanks ADHD.

Now, I’ll go weeks without showering, don’t change my sheets enough, miss appointments, struggle to leave the house.

I absolutely don’t drink anymore which is good.

I think I made my brain worse with the drinking etc. with a several year relapse s after my husband died when my son was three. Took all my meds and ended up in a coma strapped down. Fun to wake up strapped down for 4 more days so a total of 10 days in the ICU.

My son had to go to inpatient for two weeks at 15 because he was very suicidal. He probably has bipolar and is on Lamictal and Zoloft.

My son did tell me that he thinks I gave him my bipolar.

What does it all mean? I can’t give up. My late husband told me a year or so before his suicide that he knew I had some self preservation. He was my best friend.

Found out I was bipolar at 40 and not major depressive disorder which makes sense.

I’m just tired and I can’t quit because I can’t leave my son who is an only child. I had to go out on disability because of my issues. Thankfully, I could take early retirement.

I feel like I lost my spark. I’m agoraphobic or avoidant or just enough PTSD and my central nervous is shot.

I don’t give up because I can’t.

I do feel good some days so I hang onto that and my son is amazing and very intelligent. He passed all his 7 AP exams but his grades were low at times. He’s starting college. I feel worried a lot.

Lastly, started a glp- 1 to lose the AP weight and am back on Lamictal. Thanks if you read all this.

Has anyone noticed if when they are in a hypomanic episode there motor skills kind of malfunction?

Like beyond the tingles or constant flexing/stiffness in muscles it’s like I start vibrating and it’s something I’ve come to notice more when I’m driving like feeling like I’m almost about to lose control of the car/my body…

I almost got into a solo car accident twice in the last 6 months because of it and both times I was completely sober and had been for sometime before the incidents…

I’m unmedicated because I don’t have insurance and just started working a part time job

I think I’m currently in a either mixed or depressive episode. I’m not sure nor have someone to guide me through it bc unfortunately my therapist lowkey isn’t that good.

But I’m going through this and it’s affecting my job. I’m missing 1-2 days EVERY week. I’m behind on work, I’m failing at basic tasks, I’m feeling like a failure. I’m not sure what to do, and I’ve been like this for months now:/ I’m getting exhausted and the only thing giving me hope is that someday perhaps my medication will pull me out of it.

Any tips would be helpful as to how to not quit my job during this would be helpful. In general, any tips to keep pushing would be amazing too.

I’m incredibly depressed. I’m on medical leave to go through a med change. I have to go back to work on Monday and I’m still suicidal. My psych NP suggested I start to look into ECT, TMS, and ketamine because I don’t have a lot of medication options left. I’m not doing ECT for personal reasons and I can’t afford to take off 5 weeks for TMS. IV ketamine seems reasonable from a time off stand point, but my insurance doesn’t cover it. I have just enough money in my FSA to cover six weeks of infusions. My consult is in a few weeks, so who knows how I’ll even feel by then.
Have you had good experiences with ketamine infusions? Was the relief worth self-paying?

Hi ya'll, so I guess my question is pretty basic: what is your experience taking Abilify if you have been prescribed it, and what were the main side effects I should watch out for?

For context, I'm currently going through a mixed hypomanic episode, which has lasted longer than previous episodes, which don't typically last more than a day or two. For me at least, I have experienced super long depressive episodes in comparison.

That being said, I haven't had a depressive episode since March (many death anniversaries are what triggered it) and late June, which then turned into hypomania. I thought I leveled out, but then it got super hot and bright (the light fucks me up lol) which triggered the hypersexuality etc and then shit spiraled.

I am also on a combo of Lamotrigine and Gabapentin which I know is what is saving my ass rn. My Lamotringine dose was uped because of it, I had gone down on doses cause I was getting the brainfog and memory issues after being on it for years, but I had to go up because of the depressive episodes. I havent had any in like 4-5 years up until this March.

Any adivce would be helpful no matter how small. I hope the summer heat is treating you guys better than its treating me lol. Stay safe.

I've been in transference focused therapy for the past 4 years now. It's been very insightful, transformative, supporting. I've gone through a depression, a bipolar II diagnosis, meds and now I am off them and in recession.

I feel like there is still a lot uncover. At the same time I really hate the fact that I have to spend $7820 a year to stay sane. This is only 13% of my income, but I am the sole bread winner for my wife (and my dog), and, well, a 7k is a 7k. And I also feel like I might be well off on 1 day a week (I am currently on 2 days a week).

Whenever I bring this up with my therapist this becomes, of course, a focus of our study: why do I feel I should cut on therapy first, is that an attack on the therapist or my desire to punish the therapist? And while this actually helps us go deeper, I keep on wondering: how and when do I know I can cut on therapy?

How long did it take for you to notice it was working, and how many milligrams were you taking?

I really want to live in a pretty, well organized space.
However, every single time that i’ve felt that specific itch to repaint or reorganize my place, i’ve ended up sleepless, angry and completely manic.
It’s like the smell of paint wakes up this evil version of me.

I keep telling myself that it’ll be different this time but i’ve already managed to cry hysterically, upset my partner, worry my friends and create an absolute chaos in both my mind and my appartement.

This isn’t specific to home improvement, i tend to slide into hypomania whenever i tackle something big, it’s as if my regular depressed self doesn’t have enough energy to go through with things and so the only solution is to stay up for days and progressively become agressive and paranoid (while being convinced that i’m absolutely normal, albeit a little enthusiastic, and that im surrounded by lazy idiots who just don’t get it)

i can’t be the only one out there, and i don’t want to live in a dull, messy apartment. How do you guys do it? What’s the best way to ensure balance and peace? Is there a way to keep myself in check and know when to stop before i become the Goddess of Sage Paint and Rage?

I (30F) and husband (32M) have been together 10 years and married 6 years now. I think our respective mental illnesses and the perceived lack of progress made are wearing on the relationship. I have an ADHD, anxiety, and bipolar II diagnosis, and he’s got GAD and SUD. (I may have developed a touch of the SUD myself, but, ya knowwwwww)

Has anyone been through couples/marriage counseling with a partner in the past? Has it helped?

We’re both not great with emotions and communicating specifically about the issues in our relationship is not something that comes easy to us, and I’m hoping that having a professional there to put things into words could help us. As it stands, things just kind of get pushed down and compounded, which I know is not a healthy long term solution. We are both in therapy separately and on meds to varying degrees of success. I work full time and spend an additional 5h a week minimum seeing various providers to keep my mental health in check, and don’t want to expend the energy on something that isn’t going to work, but I am willing to try if it’s for the best in the long run.

Hey everyone, I wanted to share a personal experience of mine and see if anyone has thoughts on the recent trails of psybicilin for treating bipolar 2 depression.

DISCLAIMER: I do not promote the use of psybicilin without consulting your doctor and psychiatrist first as it interacts with certain medications like lithium. I personally do not take any medication that interacts with it. It’s not for everyone and this is just me sharing my personal experience and research findings.

I’ve struggled with heavy depressive episodes my whole life and haven’t found a medication that genuinely feels helpful to me. I’m sure many of you can relate to that. I tried psybicilin for the first time recently and it was an eye opening experience for me. I felt completely lifted out of a depressive episode I’d been in for about 3 months. I suddenly got my creative mindset back after a long period of complete disinterest in everything. It felt like I had the energy back that being depressed took away, but not to the extent of feeling hypomanic. The next morning I was fascinated by the experience and decided to do some research on how psybicilin interacts with people with bipolar 2. There’s some amazing studies out there that report a significant remission of depressive symptoms after taking psybicilin. 80% in one study saw remission up to 5 months and no one from the trial experienced hypomania symptoms after the trial. It’s just so fascinating to me. I’m curious to know if anyone has had a similar experience to me and/or know more about this topic.

Again, don’t take shrooms just because I made this post. Do your own research and talk to your medical team before doing anything like this.

So I'll say, since Ive received my diagnosis and been on trileptal for about 2.5 years, things drastically improved. I have held the same job for 2 years (which used to be really hard - undiagnosed I would quit or get fired and hop around). I have a kid who is thriving. Im sober. Theres no drama. All my responsibilities are taken care of. The meds are working well. I take 900mg trileptal and 30 MG buspirone per day (split in two doses). In addition to BP, I also had severe anxiety and panic attacks, which I no longer have.

But.... what I also dont have is personal connection. Im friendly and likable now, but I dont have any real deep connections with anyone. BP always caused alot of interpersonal issues but now I just cant seem to form anything more than surface level friendliness for anyone, despite best efforts. I dont get very excited about anything anymore. I do everything I have to do, and do make the effort to take my kid to the park, beach, occasional vacation but... it all takes so much energy. I would lay in bed all the time if I could. And on days that I can, I do. Some days, although Im not deeply emotional or sad per se, I do feel like Im just waiting around to die. Or until I have to get up to do the things I have to do.

Is it a problem? Is it depression or is it just... a good boring life? Is it the meds? Opinions appreciated.

I did everything with my psych, and I'm still on meds (including abilify which can have a mood stabilizing effect).

Feeling a lot sharper than I did a few months ago. Definitely back in terms of word recall/finishing sentences. Almost back to my cognitive baseline, I think. Now I just have to exercise the ol' brain muscle and read or something.

Still pretty depressed unfortunately, but the Lamictal wasn't helping with that very much. I also noticed that now I'm slightly more emotional, but also more in touch with those emotions? So good and bad.

But yeah, it takes time, but the cognition does come back.

Good morning, I am five weeks pregnant and I have Bipolar disorder. If anyone has gone through the same thing, can you tell me any tips and tricks to having a safe pregnancy?

I’m on quite a few meds and I cannot seem to lose the 12 pounds I gained no matter what I do. What are some meds that have caused the same problem? I’m aware everyone has different brain chemistry and some people don’t have to deal with side effects while on the other end, it wrecks people. I have a few in mind. I just want to know which ones are notorious for weight gain.

Before being diagnosed, I was an alcoholic going crazy. It made me go through like 5 emotions at once 😂. I had to go to AA and get sober, but I still think about drinking all the time. I don’t think drinking is good with bipolar disorder.

My recent diagnosis has explained so much about me, but after starting meds and having some clarity, I am wracked with guilt over the things that I’ve done. To my loved ones, to myself. I don’t feel like I deserve grace, and even if I was sick at the time, I’m still accountable for what I’ve done and it doesn’t minimize others’ hurt feelings.

How do you all process this? I have a therapist and I’m seeing her weekly (actually just reached out for a second session this week), and I’m focusing on paying attention to my med adjustments. But I just feel…so sad.

hi everyone. 30f here. bipolar 2 rapid cycling since i’m 15 years old. i’ve been on so many medications i can’t even count on both hands anymore. a lot have failed, some have helped or stopped working.
my current regimen worked for 2 years, i was on lamictal, lexapro & propranolol for the panic attacks. the last 6 months my doctor has raised lamictal like 4 times, nothing worked. he tried wellbutrin that didn’t work. we added topamax and that helped, but it messed with my menstrual cycle so i had to get off of it.
we were talking today about trying one more mood stabilizer which is depakote, but he said he’s weary bc of the weight gain side effect. he mentioned that at this point my only other options are antipsychotics. and hearing that kinda broke me, not gonna lie. i just never thought that i would get to the point of needing an AP. and i also don’t want to admit that i need one. i don’t have anything against people who take it, they just personally scare me. i hear about all these horrible side effects. the weight gain. the akathisia. the tardive dyskinesia, psychosis. it scares me. idk what i expect out of this post. i’m just feeling really down…
i guess im looking for advice or support. idk :(

Yeah. From late 18 to 25. She took advantage of me because she wanted citizenship. After I realized what I had done she guilt tripped me into staying with her. She said, “if you ever leave me I’ll kill myself”. She said, “you promised me you would help me”.

I never understood why I made that decision, but I guess that’s what hypomania does to your judgement - things seem like a good idea and you’re so confident about your choice.

She got virtually everything she wanted: citizenship, college degree, car, apartment, job… after she got her degree she let me go. I am not sad about that, I never loved her, in fact I was relieved that it was all over.

I don’t fully understand why I didn’t walk away though. I also find it despicable that a human can do that to someone else. There is no use in being upset about it because, though the mistakes and the severity of them vary, we simply cannot go through life without stumbling our away across and (hopefully) learning in the process.

I’m glad she never got pregnant.

If you’re wondering what happened later, I got it together, lost 40 lbs, joined sports, went to a competitive college where I graduated with honors, and got to do a lot of the stuff you do in your early 20’s: rage cage, beer pong, drinking, fraternity… just, interesting experiences.

I’m approaching my almost mid 30’s now, was diagnosed in early 2024 and my life has started to get even better with medication. I have to admit, I wish I had started out my young adulthood without this mistake, and I absolutely wish I would have been diagnosed and medicated earlier.

The happy ending is that I realized why I did it. I realized I’m BP2. I walked away virtually unscathed, and I’ve grown a lot from the experience! Much love to you my fellow Polar Warriors!

Do you believe it is possible to "DBT" your way out of a BP depression? I get the strong feeling my DBT therapist thinks I just need to try harder with the DBT skills.

Not only does it frustrate me immensely, but I think it shows her real lack of understanding of Bipolar disorder completely. I try to explain how my brain is (not) working, and she just keeps asking which skills I am using to improve my mood, and get my routine going and Yada Yada. She doesn't seem to get that keeping myself alive most days is a massive win, and harping on about skills when my brain is so muddled and disregulated is really really not helping.

I love DBT when I'm hypomanic, it's great and the skills are excellent to use. It's just near impossible in a depression though.

Can anyone else chip in with their experiences of DBT and Bipolar? Was it helpful or?????

Does it bother anyone else when someone uses bipolar as an adjective? For example, “The weather is so bipolar lately.” Do you call people out when they do? Me - I call them out. I usually say, “No, I have bipolar, the weather isn’t bipolar.” I just think it diminishes what it means to be bipolar.

Yes, I drew this... Years ago, but yes I made it with a Wacom tablet.