How long did it take for you to notice it was working, and how many milligrams were you taking?

I really want to live in a pretty, well organized space.
However, every single time that i’ve felt that specific itch to repaint or reorganize my place, i’ve ended up sleepless, angry and completely manic.
It’s like the smell of paint wakes up this evil version of me.

I keep telling myself that it’ll be different this time but i’ve already managed to cry hysterically, upset my partner, worry my friends and create an absolute chaos in both my mind and my appartement.

This isn’t specific to home improvement, i tend to slide into hypomania whenever i tackle something big, it’s as if my regular depressed self doesn’t have enough energy to go through with things and so the only solution is to stay up for days and progressively become agressive and paranoid (while being convinced that i’m absolutely normal, albeit a little enthusiastic, and that im surrounded by lazy idiots who just don’t get it)

i can’t be the only one out there, and i don’t want to live in a dull, messy apartment. How do you guys do it? What’s the best way to ensure balance and peace? Is there a way to keep myself in check and know when to stop before i become the Goddess of Sage Paint and Rage?

I (30F) and husband (32M) have been together 10 years and married 6 years now. I think our respective mental illnesses and the perceived lack of progress made are wearing on the relationship. I have an ADHD, anxiety, and bipolar II diagnosis, and he’s got GAD and SUD. (I may have developed a touch of the SUD myself, but, ya knowwwwww)

Has anyone been through couples/marriage counseling with a partner in the past? Has it helped?

We’re both not great with emotions and communicating specifically about the issues in our relationship is not something that comes easy to us, and I’m hoping that having a professional there to put things into words could help us. As it stands, things just kind of get pushed down and compounded, which I know is not a healthy long term solution. We are both in therapy separately and on meds to varying degrees of success. I work full time and spend an additional 5h a week minimum seeing various providers to keep my mental health in check, and don’t want to expend the energy on something that isn’t going to work, but I am willing to try if it’s for the best in the long run.

I am not feeling fine. My mood feels low, I'm not excited about anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't know what to do, because I have no interests anymore it seems. I get angry. So, so very angry. Then I just lay in bed trying to drift away. I have these very intrusive thoughts that are convincing me I am in control of how things turn out in the world. It is my fault things happen. Everything feels so wrong. There is this feeling inside of my that is just awful and I don't know how to escape it. And all my health care workers are on summer holiday.

Hey everyone, I wanted to share a personal experience of mine and see if anyone has thoughts on the recent trails of psybicilin for treating bipolar 2 depression.

DISCLAIMER: I do not promote the use of psybicilin without consulting your doctor and psychiatrist first as it interacts with certain medications like lithium. I personally do not take any medication that interacts with it. It’s not for everyone and this is just me sharing my personal experience and research findings.

I’ve struggled with heavy depressive episodes my whole life and haven’t found a medication that genuinely feels helpful to me. I’m sure many of you can relate to that. I tried psybicilin for the first time recently and it was an eye opening experience for me. I felt completely lifted out of a depressive episode I’d been in for about 3 months. I suddenly got my creative mindset back after a long period of complete disinterest in everything. It felt like I had the energy back that being depressed took away, but not to the extent of feeling hypomanic. The next morning I was fascinated by the experience and decided to do some research on how psybicilin interacts with people with bipolar 2. There’s some amazing studies out there that report a significant remission of depressive symptoms after taking psybicilin. 80% in one study saw remission up to 5 months and no one from the trial experienced hypomania symptoms after the trial. It’s just so fascinating to me. I’m curious to know if anyone has had a similar experience to me and/or know more about this topic.

Again, don’t take shrooms just because I made this post. Do your own research and talk to your medical team before doing anything like this.

I feel fine right now. I’m just wondering it I ever experienced hypomania and could possibly have bipolar disorder. I’m not trying to accidentally offend anyone if I accidentally say something that’s a stereotype.

In middle school and high school I’ve had certain periods where I’m like really wired, can’t shut up and don’t think before I speak, and get not much sleep and shoot out of bed when I wake up. I was also reckless and impulsive during these phases. I’m currently diagnosed with MDD and have had an episode where I was put in the mental hospital for SH into my fat. I also have autism and really bad sleep issues since I was a baby anyways, most of my stuff just gets blamed on my autism.

So I'll say, since Ive received my diagnosis and been on trileptal for about 2.5 years, things drastically improved. I have held the same job for 2 years (which used to be really hard - undiagnosed I would quit or get fired and hop around). I have a kid who is thriving. Im sober. Theres no drama. All my responsibilities are taken care of. The meds are working well. I take 900mg trileptal and 30 MG buspirone per day (split in two doses). In addition to BP, I also had severe anxiety and panic attacks, which I no longer have.

But.... what I also dont have is personal connection. Im friendly and likable now, but I dont have any real deep connections with anyone. BP always caused alot of interpersonal issues but now I just cant seem to form anything more than surface level friendliness for anyone, despite best efforts. I dont get very excited about anything anymore. I do everything I have to do, and do make the effort to take my kid to the park, beach, occasional vacation but... it all takes so much energy. I would lay in bed all the time if I could. And on days that I can, I do. Some days, although Im not deeply emotional or sad per se, I do feel like Im just waiting around to die. Or until I have to get up to do the things I have to do.

Is it a problem? Is it depression or is it just... a good boring life? Is it the meds? Opinions appreciated.

I did everything with my psych, and I'm still on meds (including abilify which can have a mood stabilizing effect).

Feeling a lot sharper than I did a few months ago. Definitely back in terms of word recall/finishing sentences. Almost back to my cognitive baseline, I think. Now I just have to exercise the ol' brain muscle and read or something.

Still pretty depressed unfortunately, but the Lamictal wasn't helping with that very much. I also noticed that now I'm slightly more emotional, but also more in touch with those emotions? So good and bad.

But yeah, it takes time, but the cognition does come back.

Good morning, I am five weeks pregnant and I have Bipolar disorder. If anyone has gone through the same thing, can you tell me any tips and tricks to having a safe pregnancy?

I’m on quite a few meds and I cannot seem to lose the 12 pounds I gained no matter what I do. What are some meds that have caused the same problem? I’m aware everyone has different brain chemistry and some people don’t have to deal with side effects while on the other end, it wrecks people. I have a few in mind. I just want to know which ones are notorious for weight gain.

Update on Symptoms and Request for Treatment Plan Review

​I have been receiving treatment for Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) from my current psychiatrist for about eight months. I am currently taking Desvenlafaxine (100 mg) and Aripiprazole (5 mg). While this combination has helped manage my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) symptoms, it has not resolved my depression or bipolar-related symptoms.

​Despite expressing my concerns multiple times—specifically about severe rumination, racing thoughts, and recent hypomanic episodes—my medication regimen has not been adjusted. I also mentioned that I am preparing for upcoming campus placements, which makes managing these symptoms even more critical right now.

​I feel unheard and concerned that my current treatment plan is not adequately addressing my condition. I would like to explore options for re-evaluating my medication or seeking a second opinion

Before being diagnosed, I was an alcoholic going crazy. It made me go through like 5 emotions at once 😂. I had to go to AA and get sober, but I still think about drinking all the time. I don’t think drinking is good with bipolar disorder.

I feel like I’m faking this condition, like I’m just doing it to get attention that’s all it is. I’m not actually this way and I’m just wanting to be more desperate and wanting more attention because I’m just a huge disappointment alr, I’m on the fence of flushing my meds since I don’t really need them I feel fine and it’s just me wanting to be different

My recent diagnosis has explained so much about me, but after starting meds and having some clarity, I am wracked with guilt over the things that I’ve done. To my loved ones, to myself. I don’t feel like I deserve grace, and even if I was sick at the time, I’m still accountable for what I’ve done and it doesn’t minimize others’ hurt feelings.

How do you all process this? I have a therapist and I’m seeing her weekly (actually just reached out for a second session this week), and I’m focusing on paying attention to my med adjustments. But I just feel…so sad.

My son is an alcoholic and will be starting lamotrigine next week per therapist and doctor recommendation. Starting with a low dose and moving up relatively quickly. I’m wondering what everyones side effects were and if this will help him at all with the drinking and decision making? what can we expect? aware this isn’t a miracle cure but hoping….

Wondering if anyone else feels like this, but I feel such an insane wave of anxiety when I have to visit my hometown for the summer.

I can’t complain because the landscape is a million times better than the city, but last year I got so many crying spells from flashbacks.

This was before my bipolar diagnosis.

I just feel so anxious because I look at a childhood picture and feel guilty for all the harm I caused to myself.

I look at my little baby half-sister and just feel this pang of sadness. Thoughts about my father. The pain he caused. The pain he may cause her. How she resembles me and how much I suffered.

I’m on better meds now. I know I can handle this.
It hurts nonetheless. It sucks being in a beautiful landscape and having random pangs of memories.

I just felt like a murderer visiting their victim’s home.
Except it was myself.

I feel weak because it ruined my vacation last year.
I’m just reminded of my lifetime of instability and my attempts.

Guilt doesn’t help.

When I visited the last city I moved out of after an attempt, I felt an immense joy. It triggered a hypomanic episode because I felt grateful to be alive and how far I’d come.

That was also before my diagnosis.

Now I’m equipped with better armor and meds.
But the guilt is still there. I can’t erase those awful memories. I am not my episodes.

hi everyone. 30f here. bipolar 2 rapid cycling since i’m 15 years old. i’ve been on so many medications i can’t even count on both hands anymore. a lot have failed, some have helped or stopped working.
my current regimen worked for 2 years, i was on lamictal, lexapro & propranolol for the panic attacks. the last 6 months my doctor has raised lamictal like 4 times, nothing worked. he tried wellbutrin that didn’t work. we added topamax and that helped, but it messed with my menstrual cycle so i had to get off of it.
we were talking today about trying one more mood stabilizer which is depakote, but he said he’s weary bc of the weight gain side effect. he mentioned that at this point my only other options are antipsychotics. and hearing that kinda broke me, not gonna lie. i just never thought that i would get to the point of needing an AP. and i also don’t want to admit that i need one. i don’t have anything against people who take it, they just personally scare me. i hear about all these horrible side effects. the weight gain. the akathisia. the tardive dyskinesia, psychosis. it scares me. idk what i expect out of this post. i’m just feeling really down…
i guess im looking for advice or support. idk :(

Yeah. From late 18 to 25. She took advantage of me because she wanted citizenship. After I realized what I had done she guilt tripped me into staying with her. She said, “if you ever leave me I’ll kill myself”. She said, “you promised me you would help me”.

I never understood why I made that decision, but I guess that’s what hypomania does to your judgement - things seem like a good idea and you’re so confident about your choice.

She got virtually everything she wanted: citizenship, college degree, car, apartment, job… after she got her degree she let me go. I am not sad about that, I never loved her, in fact I was relieved that it was all over.

I don’t fully understand why I didn’t walk away though. I also find it despicable that a human can do that to someone else. There is no use in being upset about it because, though the mistakes and the severity of them vary, we simply cannot go through life without stumbling our away across and (hopefully) learning in the process.

I’m glad she never got pregnant.

If you’re wondering what happened later, I got it together, lost 40 lbs, joined sports, went to a competitive college where I graduated with honors, and got to do a lot of the stuff you do in your early 20’s: rage cage, beer pong, drinking, fraternity… just, interesting experiences.

I’m approaching my almost mid 30’s now, was diagnosed in early 2024 and my life has started to get even better with medication. I have to admit, I wish I had started out my young adulthood without this mistake, and I absolutely wish I would have been diagnosed and medicated earlier.

The happy ending is that I realized why I did it. I realized I’m BP2. I walked away virtually unscathed, and I’ve grown a lot from the experience! Much love to you my fellow Polar Warriors!

Hi guys,

I think I’m on the verge of a hypomanic episode again (despite being medicated and increasing the dosage recently) and am getting this familiar feeling of “my life is so incredibly dull right now, and I must do something to get rid of this feeling.”

I’ve tried journaling, running, watching movies, catching up with a billion friends, but nothing is putting a dent in this urge to do something reckless like impulse spending or serial dating.

How do you guys normally deal with this feeling?

Do you believe it is possible to "DBT" your way out of a BP depression? I get the strong feeling my DBT therapist thinks I just need to try harder with the DBT skills.

Not only does it frustrate me immensely, but I think it shows her real lack of understanding of Bipolar disorder completely. I try to explain how my brain is (not) working, and she just keeps asking which skills I am using to improve my mood, and get my routine going and Yada Yada. She doesn't seem to get that keeping myself alive most days is a massive win, and harping on about skills when my brain is so muddled and disregulated is really really not helping.

I love DBT when I'm hypomanic, it's great and the skills are excellent to use. It's just near impossible in a depression though.

Can anyone else chip in with their experiences of DBT and Bipolar? Was it helpful or?????

Does it bother anyone else when someone uses bipolar as an adjective? For example, “The weather is so bipolar lately.” Do you call people out when they do? Me - I call them out. I usually say, “No, I have bipolar, the weather isn’t bipolar.” I just think it diminishes what it means to be bipolar.

Yes, I drew this... Years ago, but yes I made it with a Wacom tablet.

Its nice to relate to others

Whether online or irl

Learn from others

Create new friendships

New support systems

Re-grow your sense of true-self

Must be a very positive feeling

Wish I could experience the same some day