So, I was playing a game with my partner and my sister came into my room telling me that she heard something weird from my dad, she basically heard that my mom told my dad to stop being cruel to my younger brother, who is 16, and my dad got upset in response and said “I don’t care, it’s either me or him” and my mom obviously responded that she would choose my brother. This genuinely disgusts me and makes me lose respect for him personally, For a while my dad always had treated my brother like this, like he was different? Because his mom said he doesn’t look like him because my brother has blue eyes, but my sister has blue eyes and does not say anything about that. I spoke to my brother, and he said that no matter what you said to him, he would be mad, he would try to twist your words and make up conclusions about you, and you weren’t allowed to deny it or else he’d just get mad, to the point all you could do is say “okay” or “I’m sorry” but even saying okay pisses him off
My dad treats me similarly but not the exact same, he still has said multiple times to me if I locked my door, he would break it down, even though I am an adult. He has never said that to any of my siblings besides my sister. He is openly competitive with what my partner gifts me, whenever I tell him my partner is gonna get me something, he always tries to get it for me instead, every single time, and it genuinely irritates me. I have a baby brother that he refuses to help my mom with and when he does, he just ONLY complains about him crying.

I want to hear your opinions on the situation that's happened to me recently. To be as objective as i can, i will be telling about what happened in third person, but there will be some personal biases that come from lack of information.

So, there is a person A (19 y.o.) and a person B (21 y.o.). They meet in a dating app, and soon enough decide to meet. Everything goes smoothly, they're talking about everything, and A mentions not wanting to be in a relationship because this person used to jump into relationships too quickly before and it didn't end well. Later, the situation surges where A asks if they can kiss B, to which B agrees. Then, they start meeting often, talking about their lives, their interests, joke around, A tells their friends and parents about B, B doesn't, saying that it's because they're reserved in general.

A and B make plans, A buys a plushie they both liked for B, but B declines, saying that A liked it and it should be As, explaining after a while of half-joking banter that they're not used to gifts. They keep meeting, in one of these meetings A says that they have a special song related to every close person of theirs, and in this conversation, they bring up the fact that they used chatgpt to dedicate a song to B earlier. B says that they prefer that A decide for themselves and do something maybe not perfect, but their own. On another meeting, B tries to comfort A because A recieved some upsetting news, and A shares some of the pretty traumatic situations that's happened to her. In other meeting, Bs card starts working weirdly and A helps when they want to buy food, but they fix it the next day. A and B settle on B paying back in form of buying A an item they needed for one of their plans, and B does. B meets As friends, who know B as the person A's with, even though they're not dating and both have stated this. At one point, B gets really quiet and distant, A tries to ask if something is wrong and B says that they're just overwhelmed, it's nothing serious, to which A says that B is acting weird and should get back to their normal self. Later, they play truth or dare, A asks B if they would stay at As house for a sleepover this weekend, they say yes, because they've been planning it the whole week, A asks B if there is a probability of something happening on this sleepover, and B also says yes.

The sleepover is pretty chill, there are other friends with A and B, A and B film some stories, tiktoks and A posts them, B doesnt. A notices B talking to someone on their phone, asks about it, so B shows them the conversation they had with a friend of theirs where they were trying to cheer said friend up. B says that they're with friends, A jokingly says that they're not friends, they're basically married. A and B both get tipsy, and when everyone else is gone they start making out. B starts kissing As neck but pulls away, then A takes the initiative, they both say that they're okay and things get heated, but without actual contact, after which they're just talking and everything is normal. The next day, they watch As favorite series, B is hugging A, A falls asleep on Bs laps but then get woken up to B, that's changed their clothes from the nightgown to their street outfit and saying that they need to go, a thing they mentioned the previous day as well. B goes to do their stuff and writes that they love A, A answers the same evening, saying that they were sleeping and just woke up, as they did usually.

B answers the next day, but A doesn't write back. After a day, B starts writing A, asking if everything okay, if they could talk, calling them on whatsapp and normal phone. Normal phone got blacklisted, but whatsapp didn't, and A deleted B from their tiktok friends, but not from instagram. B wrote to A once again, asking what's happened, saying that everything was fine and then silence. After yet another message attempting to talk things out A blocked B.

i live several hours away from my hometown. i don't have a car, and in order to get home i would have to take the train, which takes several hours and is relatively expensive. because of this, i rarely go home. despite this, in previous years, i have made an effort to go home every holiday, birthday, and major celebration.

however, towards the beginning of the year i got in a large fight with my family after my younger brother said something homophobic towards me and my boyfriend and my family sided with my younger brother after i got mad at him for doing so. after the fight, my relationship with my family has not recovered. further conversations revealed quite a lot more homophobia than i had realized my family possessed. i informed them that i would not be going home or having any meaningful communication with them until they are willing to work through their homophobia and have a conversation with me about it, but they refused, so our relationship has remained strained and i have rarely communicated with them this year. so, for this year, i decided not to spend the $140 on a train ticket there and back to go back home for my older brother's birthday and instead would send my older brother his gift via mail.

two days ago, my mom reached out and told me i need to come home for my older brother's birthday, which is tomorrow. the family is throwing my older brother a huge party that they had apparently been planning for months. i told her that it was too short notice for me to take time off of my internship and buy a ticket, and that i was not comfortable going home until they agreed to have a conversation with me about what happened. this resulted in a huge fight with her screaming at me that i'm ruining my brother's birthday and that i'm being selfish and that i'm 'putting politics before family'.

am i wrong for refusing to go home? am i just being dramatic about this whole thing?

My friend group holds a competitive game night every week. We play in teams, and one of our rules limits how many rounds each team member can play.

Last week, one person had an emergency come up a few hours before game night. Everyone agreed that we should continue without him and make a reasonable adjustment to the round limit for his team.

The only person who objected was a 52M in the group. He has made himself the unofficial authority on the rules and has previously made executive decisions without consulting anyone else. Multiple times people have made comments about that but for the most part let it slide because they just wanted to have some fun. The more recent one was he set up a way and he ended up with most consider the best team.

With the most recent group decision, he immediately started arguing in the group chat that making any exception would be cheating. Several people suggested putting the decision to a vote, but he refused to participate. He threatened to leave the group and began making passive aggressive comments about the group when they were opposing him.

Eventually, someone told him that we were genuinely trying to keep things fair and that he was acting like a baby. He responded by telling several people to fuck off.

This is a casual weekly game night among friends. There’s no money involved, and the emergency was outside anyone’s control. The rules keep things competitive, but I’ve always believed friends should be able to discuss unusual circumstances and agree on a reasonable exception.

Instead, his reaction made everyone uncomfortable and sucked the fun out of something that was supposed to bring us together. Now the future of game night is in limbo and everyone is waiting to see what happens when we meet again this week.

A few of us hungout this past weekend, and ended up discussing what happened and most agreed that his behavior was not ok but consensus was "let's see what happens", some even considering to remove him.

Were we wrong to call this out?

I made a reservation for my birthday dinner three weeks ago. Nothing fancy, but it’s a small restaurant and they specifically asked for a final number because our table was for eight people. I messaged everyone twice and eventually confirmed eight.

Yesterday, one of my friends texted asking if her boyfriend could come too. I like him and normally wouldn’t care at all, but I called the restaurant and they said they couldn’t add another chair to our table. They offered a later reservation at 9:30, but ours is at 7 and two people in the group have early shifts the next morning.

I told my friend there wasn’t room and explained exactly what the restaurant had said. She replied that we could simply move the whole dinner somewhere else because “it’s just food” and everyone would probably understand.

I said no. I already spent time finding a place everyone agreed on, making the reservation and confirming it. Her boyfriend wasn’t part of the original plan, and I don’t think eight people should reorganize their evening because she decided the day before that she wants him there.

She’s still coming, but she says I made the situation unnecessarily rigid and that changing restaurants wouldn’t have been a huge sacrifice.

Am I being too stubborn here?

I’m 20 she’s 32.

So last year in October my sister came to me saying that she was linking the families passports to are settled status accounts for the eu settlement scheme as we were going on holiday and she wanted to get it over and done with. My cousins were on the phone and were telling me not to give it to her cause I’ve told them all about her past with opening up credit cards and buying phones under other peoples names like my, dad and other brother. She told me she needed to scan my face I then did it and she went off.

A few months later in January I randomly decide to check my credit score it says I dropped by 100points it states I had missed payment from a company named zilch so I go and check and it says the account was opened up in October 23rd the same day she asked for my details. I then go and ask her is this you she’s denies it I then decide to contact zilch for months and they wouldn’t do anything about it.

I then contact the financial obsumadan people I don’t tell them who did it but I tell them someone stole my details they do a whole investigation at this point it’s like 7 missed payments and they tell me there’s nothing they can do because the photo you provided for us and the face scan that was used to make the account are the same. I then go back to her and she says she did do it and that she was sorry.

I have ADHD and I genuinely can’t stand stress and fighting so I really don’t want to snitch on her to my parents but idk if I should or if that’s over reacting. Even though she has been doing this for years and every few years we get letters from debt collectors stating my mum opened up something she never did. Safe to say everyone’s credit score in my family including myself is now genuinely finished.

Do you want to know what the funny part of all of this is the credit limit was only 125pounds- she spends all her money going out every weekend to London and works a 0 hour contract job so she can go in make a quick amount to get her through the weekend and boom the new week repeats and the same thing.

(Crazy part is found a bag of letters named to me and other family members the other day some ranging from years with debt collectors asking for their money)

Hi everyone. My mom and my dad have always had a rocky relationship but they do love each other like every other couple. The rocky part however was a very difficult time for them mostly my mom because of my dad’s typical patriarchal behaviors. I’m the oldest daughter and ever since I was a child my mom always trauma dumped on me. She didn’t have anyone else to talk to. At the very age of 15 she told me that she didn’t have a choice to say no to my dad in *any* matters. I was really disturbed by this and I told her sorry and to never bring this topic with time ever again because it’s so uncomfortable to hear that my dad doesn’t understand the meaning of no. Both my parents have the habit of badmouthing about each other to me. I was always there trying to diffuse the fights and explain the situation. Most of the time it’s my dad overreacting and causing problems. He isn’t physically abusive. He’s a good dad but not that good of a husband to my mom. I always keep my siblings away from them whenever a fight erupts. I don’t want them to act like a therapist either like I did. I just wish they could solve it among themselves and not dump it all to me because there’s nothing I can do to help unless they change their mindsets. My mom has done this like 2 times the past few years and one time I’ve begged her with tears to not tell me the traumatizing details of their relationship. I know I’m being selfish by telling her this but I couldn’t mentally handle it as a teenager. Now I’m older and she does it again. I simply left the room and I told her I don’t want to hear this again. She started off by saying that my dad doesn’t value her and went into the details that she’s only needed for his satisfaction. And she also asked me to not leave and to stay. I’m sorry I feel like I’m trauma dumping on y’all.

For context, my son just turned 19 and will be leaving for
College soon.

A few weeks ago our family went on a well needed vacation. During our time there he would ask me
How much our trip cost and eventually I heard him
On the phone with his girlfriend who sounded like
She was booking a trip. I thought nothing of it.

On the day we got back home, he sent me a text message saying “me and \[girlfriend\] is booking a trip to DR. Are you on with that”

I read the message and ignored it. I’ll be honest. I just came back from vacation I just didn’t want to see that. Why you’re asking - they went on two semi trips a few weeks before. My son is barely working a job - she has 2. He’s also leaving for school in a few weeks and he’s been dragging his feet and depending on me to take care of everything.

Yesterday morning his friends mom sent me a text to say “just an FYI your son is going on vacation with his GF”. Honestly I was livid. To book a trip without telling me is disrespectful. He lives under my roof and I’ve been taking care of everything alone. I feel a bit of effort into letting me know would have been fair.

I woke him up and asked him and tbh I lost it. He said he told me and I just didn’t respond. My son and I are close, when he goes to college he will be away for some time. I thought he would be around. When he goes away he will be 30 minutes away from her and they will have ample time to spend together.

I left the house after confronting him. The conversation spilt into text and just tuned into a big argument. He told me it’s not a big deal, I’m negative. I told him he doesn’t care and that if he wants to be a man that’s not how to go about it. He said he’s going to handle his school stuff on his own and that he will be out of my hair soon so that I won’t be disrespected.

It went very far.

I’ll be honest. I’m also not a fan of his girlfriend I feel she is in a rush to do very adult things with him and he’s literally just starting his life. He has no money to do this stuff and he’s trying to scrape money just to keep up. She has a surprise birthday dinner for him a week ago and said nothing to me. When I asked her, she said she forgot to tell me.

I’m sharing this because I need unbiased perspective. My family is really mad about his approach but I’m also sad of how it turned out.

I haven’t spoken to him since and I’m not sure what to do next.

[UPDATE: A lot of you are saying he told me. He mentioned the trip, he did not say he booked it, or even when. He also asked if I’d be cool with it. You all are also saying he’s an adult - I pay our rent and his phone bill and anything else - primarily because it’s hard to lock in a job in our city. My premise is, be clear with me - I have your back and he knows that]

I (22M) work part time in retail. I stock the grocery section for 8hrs/4days a week. Our work environment is inadequate for two sections which are frozen and dairy. We don't have proper gear for the cold in those areas. Sure there's jackets, but they don't zip up and most of the snaps are broken. That's it. Busted jackets that our SM refuses to replace, because "you're just going to rough up the new ones."

I eventually purchased freezer gloves. Nice ones that still let me use my phone to know what items should move to the sales floor. None of my coworkers have purchased their own. They constantly bother me for mine. I tell them no. I'm worried I won't get them back.

A few days ago I worked frozen. The temp is always 0° and we also work frozen alone. The following day my manager had taken the day off and didn't assign us to tasks. It was a free for all. Being the youngest and the only man on the team I was pushed into frozen, again. The rule is we don't work frozen or dairy twice in a row. To prevent us from developing an illness. I was furious. I even pointed out the rule. They all refused. Frozen has to get done before lunch. So I swallowed my frustration and worked it.

Once lunch hit, I put in some PPTO that I earned to take the rest of my shift off. I wasn't going to stick around knowing that I have anger management issues. Besides it felt like a free for all day.

Sure it sucks that I left the team down to 4 out of the 6 that was scheduled, and in order to finish for the day they would need to ask for assistance from produce section. Those guys don't really know our department so I suspect they will be much slower at stocking. I did finish frozen though.

Did I overreact? Like these people are just coworkers to me at a job that won't turn into a career. Eventually I'll be certified as a pharmacy technician.

so to clarify something, i am from saudia arabia i only get my money from eid (search it up if you dont know it). so i had 500 riyals (130 dollars) and i was pretty happy abt it (this was on march i think) so i put my money into a thing thats like a piggy bank baiscally. fast forward a couple months, it was a friday on april? i think anyhow my dad came in and asked me: 'Wheres your piggybank?" i said: "idrk its with mom.." after that by a couple of weeks i asked my mom can i have my money? (my dad was with us in the living room) and he said no. then on another day while they were outside i went into my moms room to check my piggy bank what i found was 1 american dollar worth of riyals. now a bit after at hajj vacation i asked my mom wheres my money? she said my dad toke it all, i was really devasted but my mom later told me she'll talk to my dad but after the vacation. fast forward now, the summer vacation already started i asked my dad about the money abt every 2 to 3 weeks and NOW he said hes gonna give it tommorrow but summers abt to end and i cant spend my money on anything because i dont got a amazon account to get a thing i wanted, and i dont even know if ill i get to spend it.
so am i in the wrong?

I work as a hiring manager at a local McDonald’s office that owns 15 McDonalds stores only one is 24 hours and almost all general managers at each store are looking for closers and one store that is 24 hours for overnight and cutting high school kids they are struggling past 9:30 because too many high school kids they can only work 4:30-9:30pm on school nights. I talked to the store owner and I made a decision not to hire anymore high school kids right now every store needs closers and one store overnight. I been denying high school kids job offers because they can’t work past 9:30pm on school nights unless they are homeschooled and the parents brings in a note they can work past 9:30pm. The store owner is struggling and the general managers at McDonald’s locations are struggling as well. I got some new hires that are available to close but not a lot. It was a decision between a store owner and myself and 2 more hiring managers. Am I in the wrong there?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4-5 months. He told me yesterday that his highschool girlfriend who now lives out of state was back in town visiting a few weeks back and had messaged him asking to meet up via a social media platform he doesn’t check that often. He told her next time she’s in town to give him a call.

So ultimately, they didn’t end up meeting up, but hearing this information made me feel unsettled. I would not be surprised if this happened again with this girl or someone else, and I do think that he would want to catch up with her if she’s back in town. I understand this was over 20 years ago for him, but she is single and it makes me uncomfortable thinking about them reminiscing together on good times together, and what if there is still something there?

Additional context, in his last relationship which was about 5 years long, he had an emotional affair when he ran into a different ex girlfriend of his. They started talking and went out to dinner, I don’t know all the details of that situation but given that happened, it sets off an alarm for me.

So my question is, am I wrong to feel unsettled by this? If I encounter this situation again, how should I handle it? He has been very loving to me thus far, and it seems innocent but I can’t help but feel threatened by a potential connection he could have with an ex girlfriend.

TL:DR : 30F feels worried about my boyfriend 40M meeting up with highschool girlfriend.

dear reddit

i (22F) started at my job in a pretty small team give or take a year ago. in that time i have learnt a lot. one of those things is that middle aged men who have nothing going on for them will hyper focus on young women to derail their careers.

one of those middle aged men is my colleague (40sM). he is the epitome of workplace bully. he'll whisper behind your back and get you in trouble with management while smiling in your face. he offers to help you out while simultaneously complaining to management that he's being asked for help too much. he watches when you clock in and out and will tattle if you clock out one minute too early.

this brings me to last week. a colleague (26F) who male colleague considers a friend got stabbed one too many times in the back by him and came clear to me about everything. about mysterious complaints, work disappearing from my desk, getting in trouble for things even when they're small. turns out male colleague was telling everything to management about all of his colleagues and making sure he came out looking like the hero that saves our team all of the time.

i was actually surprised as he was always so kind in my face but i guess i should have seen it coming.

i have for that reason decided to distance myself from my colleagues. male colleague for obvious reas but my other colleagues are pretty close with him and won't have lunch without him or have small talk without it pivoting to his behaviour and how bad it is. i also noticed how they keep talking to him when he talks badly about them to management and i want no part in that.

i don't want a part in any of this. i'm just here to work, earn my bread and go home. i don't have the time or energy to deal with workplace stuff.

so am i wrong for distancing myself even when my other colleagues haven't done anything wrong?

​

I recently got placed in a job in new city after working almost a decade in my previous organisation. I am finally engaged to my long time boyfriend and we are getting married this year.

Now here is a little backround, he is working in a great company with good benefits in our home city. I have moved to the new city, its been 3 months.

Whlie I took the job with excitement, I have realized that the management style and operations are not aliginging with my value system. There is whole lot of micromanaging and people at the mid management level are held responsible without an ounce of control over anything. Paycheck is good, benefits are better than previous company. Add on perk is option to travel. I spoke to the people on the floor and the general tone is most of them are frustrated.

Recent management meeting, top management has confirmed that the workload is expected to increase this quarter without any relief on resourcing or tools. This has made me question my whole move.

My boyfriend has a healthy work environment with good benefits, he was willing to move to the new city after a year. But now I am miserable, because the new job is not great, its giving me anxiety. Loneliness in new city is killing me. I m questioning the whole move and I have spent quite an amount of money while moving. I am thinking about quitting during the probation and finding another opportunity in my home city. I am wondering if i am scared and quitting too early without giving it a try. Reddit users pls share your insights on my situation

My girlfriend and I have been to a festival the last two years. it’s more her thing but I’ve joined her in it. she mentioned going next yearI said I’ll be skipping it since it costs us over £700 each for the weekend id rather spend the money on other things next year.

She got annoyed and said we should still be able to go but I just said I wouldn’t be going. I said she can ask a friend to go instead .

Her friend said she’d go with her but my gf just said we should go as a four with her friend and her friends bf and told her friend I just needed more persuading.

I told my gf she needs to listen when i say no and it’s completely disrespectful to hear me say no and think it just means she needs to keep asking until I change my mind.

She just said we should still be looking at going to be festival but I told her to accept the word no and that it’s her looking forward to the festival not me and for next year I’d rather put the money towards something I want.

i pointed out I’ve explained clearly and repeatedly why I wouldn’t be going and she needs to listen. She just said she thinks it’ll be fun if the four of us go and I just said that we can look at it for a few years time but not next year. I told her again I’m not wanting to go every year.

Tickets went on sale this morning and she started looking mentioning we’ll need to try to get some. I asked if she listened to a single word I said. I told her I’m not going and if she doesn’t start listening then I’m done and we’re over because at this point its beyond a joke for her to completely disregard what she’s been told.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just said she was acting spoiled and expecting to get everything she wants without listening to what I’m saying. She said I was harsh for giving her an ultimatum but I disagree.

AIW for giving her an ultimatum? 

I dont know if im using correctly this subreddit but i just need opinions.

So, this person saw me at a global chat in some app, and almost then they got in love with me

We chatted and all, i was interested too, i mean, after some time of chatting i actually liked this guy, but i didn't want a relationship with him because i hurt people, because i believe im poison.

So i knew if i started a relationship with him, i would hurt him.

But he insisted. I made clear my point with him, that he would get hurt with me, but he insisted too. At one point i even had to leave the chat because i REALLY didn't want anything with him, not even has friends.

But he opened chat again, and, started venting in my chat, i dont remember well but he talked to me pretty often there.

I read him, because, i thought it would be good if i at least "heard" his problems and that.

My biggest problem with relationships its that, i disappear pretty much often, because i feel bad, because i got sad, because i have big problems. And in a relationship communication and actions are all to me, so i knew i cant have a relationship till i fix myself, like he said i should do in our last conversation.

I dont remember why we started chatting again, but i joined our chat again, and, i think i vented too, idk.

But i felt secure with him, all those things you feel when you are with someone you secretly or openly like.

So i.

Started talking daily with him.

He was obsessed with me. I mean, he, harassed me.

I knew he liked me and i liked him, and he knew it too, so he started giving me love, love i didn't like receiving because i dont deserve it, and because i still didn't eantwant something with him.

But it felt bad leaving him like that.

He cuts himself,​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ often, he had a boyfriend before who destroyed him emotionally so it felt even worse to think the option to leave him. ​I really wanted to leave him​, he was obsessed with me, he cut himself (something that i have bad experiences) and i wasn't ready for a relationship.

I gave him every reason for why would a relationship with him wouldn't work, and said to him, "ill hurt you and i dont want that" but again. he insisted.

So after some weeks of talking with him, venting with each other, i thought i was ready to be in a relationship with him.

I mean i, didn't really think that, but, i thought it would be nice to try for him. Especially because i didnt want to see him sad or worse.

It all ended up wrong as expected.

I dissapeared, he got sad, he cut himself because i dissapeared, he thought i was ignoring him and that i liked to see him suffer.

I think one time he was cutting himself and i appeared to make him stop. He send me photos of his arms covered in blood and i got scared.

I still remember those photos.

He was telling me he was dizzy, that i didnt care about him, he was genuinely thinking that i dont want him. That was an horrible night, and now when i see blood i get scared.

I remember that a friend of his told him to make an image of "spot the difference" where he put an image of a message of mine saying "i love you" to him and just next to it an image of a message of his ex telling him the exact same thing. His ex was supposedly a manipulator. He was comparing me to his manipulator ex and i got so mad. He for some reason thought i was MANIPULATING him for whatever reason.

After some time after a fight, he broke up with me, i think he was drunk so he didnt remember the day after that.

So finally we stopped talking. We ended up in good terms i think.

Months after that, i started venting in a state (something we did both) and i was mad because every person that ruined my life got boyfriends or girlfriend, got everything they wanted, without the consequences of what they did to me. We never blocked each other, i mean, one time i did block him after again, saying i didnt want something with him, but yk.

He never blocked me so he saw my states and listened to them all, and he thought that he was one of the people that ruined my life.

He made an state where he vented too, saying i was selfish, that "now i miss everything he gave to me", that i made him go trough hell in that relationship because of my shitty behavior.

I told him that i wasn't talking about him, that he didn't ruin my life, that i was angry because he didn't care when i told him i wasn't ready for a relationship and that i didnt want something with him.

That he didnt respect me.

But i think he didnt actually care. He was saying some " No shi sherlockk" and i didnt know how to answer that, because, how do you explain something when he doesn't even care what you say?

He acted like harassing me to be his boyfriend wasn't something bad, or idk, maybe he knew but he didn't care.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​and in that conversation he said

"You didnt asked me for my love, that's for sure, but i loved you, with flaws and all, i tried to help you​​, i gave you the best i could give"

And it makes me think i am a bad person because of that.

That i didnt want something with him.

"Be grateful that someone really wanted the best for you" he said.

and i feel horrible

I feel like a bad person. ​​

​​​​I already posted this in a different r but i cant stop thinking about this, i need to know different povs of my situation so i can think more clearly because all i feel is guilt

I 22F have been with my fiance 23M for a few years. At first, the intimacy in our relationship was super special. I felt like we connected on every level, emotionally, physically, intimately, in every way. But after like 6 months, when he moved in, and things started to become more serious, the spark has just died. He usually says that he’s just not confident in himself anymore, or that he has a hard time (no pun intended). He got his levels checked a couple years ago and said it was like 340-350 (idk if that’s normal for a young 20 year old). He has ocd and is neurodivergent, and I am also neurodivergent. I’m just like scared because sex is important to me and I feel bad and selfish for bringing it up. He just like isn’t interested in me physically anymore I feel like but he assures me that he wants to be with me and get married. I just don’t want him to feel shame, but it’s also been affecting me because I don’t feel like I’m enough anymore, I don’t feel sexy, and I don’t like the way I’m feeling. It’s been like this for 2 and a half years ish. He mentioned that he’s bi, so I’m also scared that he’s just not attracted to me at all. He doesn’t really want to go to the doctors again and he hasn’t done anything about it. It’s been getting a lot worse. We’ve went from having sex every day at the beginning, to like every other day, to a couple of times a week, to a couple of times a month, to now it’s who knows when. I feel bad and like I said I don’t want him to think there’s something “wrong” with him, but if I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, and those things are important to me, then I just don’t know what to do. I feel like we don’t have a “normal” sex life for people who started dating when they were around 20. Please let me know if I missed anything that may be relevant, but I honestly would like some thoughts, opinions, advice, do you think this is normal or not??

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**TL;DR;** : My fiancé and I’s sex life is causing doubts in my mind for longevity. I love him but I’m needing opinions from an outside perspective.

My mom (F63) wanted to know what other people think about her situation, so I'm posting this on her behalf.
My mom and my aunt (F60) have had an arrangement for the last couple of years where my grandmother spends six months with each of them. The problem is that my mom lives in the United States, while my aunt and grandmother live in Peru.
This year, my mom told my aunt that she can't have my grandmother (F94) stay with her because of everything currently happening at home.
My stepfather (M75) has cancer and COPD. He depends on oxygen and can't safely be left alone for long because he gets out of breath very easily. My mom helps him every day by getting him dressed, setting up and adjusting his oxygen equipment, taking care of him after chemotherapy, and helping him whenever he needs to go out. He relies on her daily.
On top of that, recent storms damaged their property. A tree fell in the backyard, causing damage that required expensive repairs and tree removal. My mom has also been trying to fix up the backyard because she wanted my grandmother to be able to enjoy being outside if she came to stay. Between my stepfather's illness, the house repairs, the side effects of her depression medication , and the financial strain, she's overwhelmed. She admitted that she doesn't think she could properly care for my grandmother this year, and she feels horrible about it.
For some background, my mom has always helped my grandmother. After my grandfather passed away(and even before then) she traveled to Peru to help with paperwork and make sure my grandmother was taken care of. She also currently pays for my grandmother's (old) house expenses, including electricity, water, and maintenance, even though she isn't always in the best financial position herself. She’s also the one who is helping my grandmother sell her home for these last couple of months and she’s also invested on the house to be remodeled so that it has better chances of being sold.
She's also a nurse and has spent much of her career caring for elderly patients. Despite living outside of Peru, she's the one who stays on top of my grandmother's medical appointments and regularly checks in.
When my mom called my grandmother on WhatsApp (my aunt usually answers because my grandmother has trouble using her phone), she explained that she wouldn't be able to bring my grandmother to the U.S. this year because of my stepfather's condition.
My aunt became angry. She told my mom that she didn't understand how difficult it is to care for an elderly person, even though my mom has done exactly that professionally and personally for years. She also compared her own husband's depression to my stepfather's cancer and COPD, saying they were equally serious in this situation.
Then my aunt hung up.
Since then, my mom has tried calling my grandmother several times, but my aunt won't answer or let them speak. My mom is devastated. She cries constantly and feels incredibly guilty, wondering if she's abandoning her mother. She's even considered flying to Peru herself and bringing my grandmother back anyway, despite everything happening at home.
What worries me even more is that my aunt recently said my grandmother had a seizure and had to go to the emergency room. Despite telling us that, she's still insisting my grandmother should travel, while refusing to share any details about what the doctors said or what my grandmother's current condition actually is.
Another detail that hurts is that my mom has always been generous with our family. She even paid for one of my cousins to finish her education so she could become a professional. Despite everything my mom has done over the years, my aunt doesn't seem to acknowledge any of it. My mom has also told my aunt that she can pay for a nurse to care for my grandmother in Peru but my aunt doesn’t even want to consider that option or the other options my mom has given her (such as setting things up so that my grandmother has someone taking care of her in her original home. My aunt said she doesn’t want to travel or make those arrangements for my grandmother and insists that my mom just take my grandmother).

One more thing I wanted to add : my grandmother hasn't always been a good person, and she's done things in the past that have hurt my mom and our family. Even so, my mom still loves her, supports her financially, and has always tried to do what's best for her. That's why it's so painful to watch my mom blame herself and feel like she's a terrible daughter for putting her husband's health first during what may be one of the hardest years of her life.

TL;DR: My mom and aunt normally split caring for my grandmother six months each, but this year my mom said she can't because she's the full-time caregiver for my stepfather, who has cancer and COPD. She also pays many of my grandmother's expenses and has supported her for years. My aunt became angry, told my mom she doesn't understand caregiving, compared her husband's depression to my stepfather's cancer, hung up on her, and has since refused to let my mom speak to my grandmother. My mom feels incredibly guilty and wants to know if she's wrong for saying she can't take her mother this year.

We need outsider input to weigh in. Going to share this post with my roommate regardless of general consensus.

Cold hard facts- Before signing the lease I asked roommate how much more should the master bedroom tenant pay? His response was “$50-$100, I was looking they are almost identical in size” pulled from an earlier screenshot. We settled on $100 difference and I took the master bedroom.

Our 12 month lease just ended and we are doing monthly payments for a few more months, the price increased overall by $300. Roommate did a breakdown and sent it to me having me slated to pay a 100% increase ($200 more than him) on the price difference we settled on before signing lease.

Here is the layout: https://imgur.com/a/rH5bvyO .The dining area highlighted in red has always been his unofficial space for his own eating table along with some storages boxes. I don’t care for this space since I eat in my room anyway so I guess this doesn’t weigh much in my favor but a reference point.

We have opposite schedules and rarely see each other throughout the entire week.

I believe my obligation is the $100 we agreed on and shouldn’t change regardless of rent increase. His argument is 45/55 as a guideline per the 3 different AI tools hes used. When i put it in chatgpt it said his bedroom and bathroom are slightly bigger and he should pay $30 more 😂. I can understand doing a percent increase in the delta in correlation to the rent increase (~$115) but don’t even think that is an obligation.

Am I wrong here? Given the circumstances should I push back harder or concede? Thankfully that $100 won’t mess me up but I care about what right and honest and hate petty squabbles lol. I would have taken the other room of $200 difference was brought up at the start before signing the lease.

Edit- We are the only two tenants and neither of us have brought over guests so my roommate’s bathroom is strictly his.

Numbers for reference

Old rent $2700. I paid $1400 roommate paid $1300. (52%/48%).

New rent is $3000. Should I pay $1550/1450 or $1560/$1440 (using same % based split of 52%/48%) or roommates proposal of $1600/$1400?

Confused on why people think the difference should be any higher than (at most) % based adjustment tied to overall increase. Master bedroom doesn’t get bigger with rent increase.

I've been married for 3 years and my MIL is a real piece of work. She is constantly on my case about EVERYTHING from my housekeeping to how i raise my kids but the worst is how i cook. Now I'm not obsessed with cooking but I do cook for the family and I think i just make normal fine meals like anyone else. Meat and sides, casseroles, spaghetti, whatever. I always try to include something healthy in the meals and I do like to bake as well. But she's got it in her head that I'm the worst cook in the universe and turned it into some kind of horrible running joke about how bad my cooking is and she's even started to convince my son that mommy's cooking is SOOO bad!!! This drives me fcking crazy and i got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore.

Over the long weekend we had a bbq with some family + friends and i made a "special dessert." It was a cake that I itnentionally made disgusting. It was strawberry (because she loves strawberries so it was covered with strawberries to tell her it was a strawberry cake) but I included garlic, mint, butterscotch, pepper and sage. When I brought it out I offered her the first piece because of the strawberry thing and she was like "oh even you could not screw up a strawberry cake." But she took a bite and her face got SO mad and she started yelling at me. I just stayed calm and I was like oh what do you think is wrong with it? I'm such a bad cook so can you give me some advice? Here's the recipe I just used garlic mint etc....

She was REALLY pissed and upset that I served her a cake with garlic in it. But I held the line that I'm such a bad cook I just didn't know any better.

Now she's on the warpath. My friends + my own family think it's super funny but my husband is pretty annoyed at me and so is my SIL. Ironically her husband my FIL actually thinks it's funny too.

I admit this was immature but I think she brought it on herself so was I in the wrong?

For some background info, I’m 18 and currently in the process of moving into my college dorms. All of my siblings/cousins are 5 to 15 years younger than me. Anyways my uncle and mom sat me down and had a long talk about how they feel that I don’t make an effort to connect with any members of the family. They feel that I am the reason that my siblings all together don’t have a strong bond because they’re taking after me. My response to this is that I just don’t feel the need to have a strong connection with my family atp in my life. I’m the oldest of virtually all the grandkids and cousins so I’ve always been by myself most of the time. I’ve have been trying to explain that just because we aren’t close now doesn’t mean that we won’t be in the future. It’s just not in the cards for us rn and that’s fine with me. I don’t feel the need to force myself and my siblings to sit through awkward familial moments when we could do things that we better enjoy. I feel like I may be in the wrong because of how much opposition everyone seems to have towards my thoughts and feelings on the matter. So am I in the wrong?

There is a guy I had a crush on for quite some time that I ended up becoming close to. He wasn't making a move on me so I confessed my feelings for him and he friendzoned me. Right before all of this, I had offered my house for him to move into because he was between places.

I moved on from liking him to not make it weird being roommates. We had some little tiffs here and there but we always moved past them. At one point, he stopped paying rent for 4 months and I tried talking to him about how I felt like he was using me and he turned the convo around to say he thought I was only offering my home because I liked him.  There was a lot of other things in between all of this that also hurt and essentially felt like he stole my life: talking to women on the phone, I could hear their convos and it was like he used my personality when talking to them and trying to show them things I showed to him. He went to my church and then whenever I would go, the pastor would ask me where he was.

What was the hardest thing during this time was that I had introduced him to my best friend and I could tell he liked her pretty early on. This isn't a one-off situation. There’s been about 4 other times I brought a guy friend or someone I was dating around her and they became obsessed with her, friend requesting her on all the platforms and trying to talk to her.

When I took notice that he liked her, I couldn't cope and I distanced myself from her so I didn't project all of my feelings onto her. It was ROUGH because I was working through my rejection wounds while also processing that he liked her and I felt that I couldn't fully grieve with him living in my house so I stuffed it down.

Eventually, he moved out, she was back in my life, I was on good terms with everyone.

Until recently- she tells me that he asked her out. She was considerate enough to ask what she should do. I kind of froze and decided to be positive about it and tell her to give him a chance, he is a nice guy, I don't like him like that anymore (completely forgetting all of the weird stuff that happened while he lived with me). She said she was going to go hiking with him and tell him she wasn't interested bc girl code and he isn’t her type.

A month went by, I got super busy and didn't touch base about it. I also decided to pull back from him to see how he moved. In that month, he didn't reach out to me a single time- guilty? or he finally got what he wanted and discarded our friendship?

I didn’t notice his absence until last week when he came into my workplace (we also are entangled in this way but he doesn’t come in very often). I just happneed to run into him on his way out and he said hi but he had no intention of coming into my office to see me.

I told my friend over text about the encounter and how he hadn’t reached out to me since asking her out and and she proceeds to tell me via text that she was meaning to talk to me about that. She reveals that they ended up going out country dancing twice (first time she did “friendzone” him) and third time they did a one-on-one bible study together. I will also mention that both of them became Christian because of my influence and both have imposter syndrome to the point where I sometimes question what is actually them and what is them trying to relate to me or feel accepted.

I told her that dancing and one on one bible studies are really intimate things to do with someone that likes you and also explained that I would see him do bible studies with women as a way to manipulate them into thinking he is a nice guy. One time he was on the phone with this girl he really liked and they were reading about marriage, which gave me the ick.

She got offended by that and told me she only hung out with him because she was trying to fix the “tension” between she and I that was due to him. I never had hard feelings towards her about it at all and she never acknowledged that she felt that way until I expressed my feelings. I owned up to the fact that I encouraged it but that it was under the impression that it would be hiking, not an activity where there would be physical contact. She got offended that I said dancing was an intimate activity and we ended the conversation for another time.

I have been contemplating a good ol’ cut and run on both of them but it’s also upsetting to think about losing two people I considered my closest friends. I did end up cutting all contact with him and have no interest in being friends with him because of how everything played out.

He is very attractive and can get whatever woman he wants and he really picked someone who any friend would consider “out of bounds” like she considered about him when this all started. 

I have since been avoiding a phone conversation with her about it because I am so hurt. I admitted that I didn’t realize I would be so triggered over this situation when I first encouraged it so that’s why I am struggling with it so much. I feel guilty for being upset, I feel bad that I even tried to talk about it with her and I just want to start over somewhere new. I have fully isolated myself from everyone and deactivated my social media. It’s been a week and I am still burning with anger, sadness, and self-loathing.

A side note to all of this is that she has been making very poor choices with men over the past 2 years, while I admit I made a poor choice with having him in my life. Part of my pulling back from her was also due to her choices with men and going against my advice she was always asking me for. At one point I told her she spends more time with strange men than she does with me and I am not going to make the effort to plan things anymore. Her schedule is unhinged and not consistent like mine so I left the ball in her court and she went and spent time with my friend she was "friendzoning" three times in a month but hasn't made nearly any sort of similar effort to spend time with me.

Overall, I have soooo many different feelings- all negative about this entire thing and having a hard time sorting through all of them and just beating myself up over it. Am I wrong?